lithenblithe
05-20-2007, 07:18 PM
After you were diagnosed, did it bring back a lot of old memories, or give the old memories new meaning?? This has been happening to me like crazy. Memories come up, and I think, "There it was. There it was ..."
Just today I remembered how I became a vegetarian with my best friend in the seventh grade. Kind of a popular thing then, but it became an obsession for me! I'd known what meat was for a long time, and never much liked it, but once I was no longer partaking of it, I let my horror of it flourish!! Whenever I saw meat, I would think graphically of where it came from, what it was and how utterly bestial it was of us to enjoy it like it was no biggie. I wouldn't let my food come anywhere near meat, in the fridge or during preparation. I would cringe in horror if my mom put her hand near the meat and didn't thoroughly wash them before touching something else. And I couldn't understand how my friend could abide to have her veggie burger cooked on the same grill as real hamburgers!! The horror started to get bigger and bigger and was really becoming prohibitive and painful. I realized life was going to be really tough if I kept this up, so in my junior year of high school, my mom and I did exposure response without realizing it :) I spent agonizing sessions before a plate of chicken enchiladas, looking but unable to eat, and finally took a bite of an old favorite - a mcdonalds chicken mcnugget. It was really slow, but I can say that obsession is passed, though I still don't eat much meat, and it still gives me the ick sometimes.
It's kind of encouraging to see that not all obsessions are forever :)
Just today I remembered how I became a vegetarian with my best friend in the seventh grade. Kind of a popular thing then, but it became an obsession for me! I'd known what meat was for a long time, and never much liked it, but once I was no longer partaking of it, I let my horror of it flourish!! Whenever I saw meat, I would think graphically of where it came from, what it was and how utterly bestial it was of us to enjoy it like it was no biggie. I wouldn't let my food come anywhere near meat, in the fridge or during preparation. I would cringe in horror if my mom put her hand near the meat and didn't thoroughly wash them before touching something else. And I couldn't understand how my friend could abide to have her veggie burger cooked on the same grill as real hamburgers!! The horror started to get bigger and bigger and was really becoming prohibitive and painful. I realized life was going to be really tough if I kept this up, so in my junior year of high school, my mom and I did exposure response without realizing it :) I spent agonizing sessions before a plate of chicken enchiladas, looking but unable to eat, and finally took a bite of an old favorite - a mcdonalds chicken mcnugget. It was really slow, but I can say that obsession is passed, though I still don't eat much meat, and it still gives me the ick sometimes.
It's kind of encouraging to see that not all obsessions are forever :)
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miyu
05-21-2007, 02:16 AM
Yeah, that’s true, sometimes they are replaced by new obsessions and sometime you run the clear for a very long time. I really like the way you beat you OCD. Without medication. I wish more people would do that. We don’t know what is in the medication, and we don’t really know what the long term affects are. I mean the tests show that the “majority” of people are fine. But what about the others? There is no proof. I know you’re feeling of finally understanding the things you did. My first OCD started when I was 4 I thought I would get locked in my room when I closed the door. So everyday i would spend like a half an hour, just opening and closing the door, thinking once I closed it, this time it would not open.. Then open it and it was fine, but closing it again, thinking this time it will not open. I knew nothing lasted forever and one day it would break, I was just thinking it would be today. so I opended and closed, and opened and closed.
When I worked at subway I had a lady make me change my gloves because I touched someone’s meat, and then touched her bread. I did as she asked, but it really bugged me, I wanted to tell her if she didn’t like meat that much not to come in here because the whole place is contaminated by meat. Before she was hear the meat has touched nearly everything, we mostly carry meat, so when we prepare it, it may touched the veggies or the microwave, or the oven, or the pan, even if we clean as best as we can it is never fully gone, and seeps through the paper, and the juices of the sandwich meat splatters everywhere. That is what I was thinking, but I never said anything I just change my gloves and made her veggie burger with meat traces no one can control. It’s like washing your hands when you think you can control germs, when you can’t they are the one thing no human can control no matter how clean we are.
When I worked at subway I had a lady make me change my gloves because I touched someone’s meat, and then touched her bread. I did as she asked, but it really bugged me, I wanted to tell her if she didn’t like meat that much not to come in here because the whole place is contaminated by meat. Before she was hear the meat has touched nearly everything, we mostly carry meat, so when we prepare it, it may touched the veggies or the microwave, or the oven, or the pan, even if we clean as best as we can it is never fully gone, and seeps through the paper, and the juices of the sandwich meat splatters everywhere. That is what I was thinking, but I never said anything I just change my gloves and made her veggie burger with meat traces no one can control. It’s like washing your hands when you think you can control germs, when you can’t they are the one thing no human can control no matter how clean we are.
lithenblithe
05-21-2007, 03:16 AM
oh, I haven't beat my ocd by any means! The meat obsession has been easily replaced by far more enduring and insidious ones that I really don't enjoy talking about. I actually am trying medicine, though my first encounter with Zoloft was scarily awful!
I just think it's interesting to look back and see all the odd things ocd has done to me without my knowing it. I can laugh at my past obsessions, but not my current ones!
I just think it's interesting to look back and see all the odd things ocd has done to me without my knowing it. I can laugh at my past obsessions, but not my current ones!
miyu
05-23-2007, 02:30 AM
I heard Zoloft is a harsh drug, you should try an anti anxiety, thats what I usto take. but I can't remenber the name of it.