Doglover5
05-21-2007, 09:53 PM
I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. I have all these unwanted thoughts, and they range from being mild ("if I drink orange juice with breakfast, I won't have a good day") to severe ('wishing' in my head that something really bad will happen to someone I love). When I have these thoughts, I have to pray. And pray. And pray some more. "God, I am so sorry, please forgive these negative thoughts and please ignore them, please know that I don't mean them, please take care of everyone I love and please don't let anything bad happen..." It goes on and on and on. This happens several times a day, and it's worse when I'm under stress (which is often!). It's driving me up the wall. I've even apologized to God for all the compulsive praying. I know He understands that I have OCD, but that doesn't help because then I think, "well what if I really DO mean all this stuff?" Again, that's probably the OCD talking because for some reason it likes to kick me when I'm down. I've thought about talking to a preacher about all of this but I don't know if that would make me feel any better. I am not on medication because I can't afford it right now and I don't like the side effects from all the popular SSRI's. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be awesome. *hugs to you all*
Sponsor
kotitka
05-22-2007, 12:09 PM
My OCD is very similar to yours. I'll write more when I can, at work rite now.
seriousperson
05-22-2007, 11:29 PM
If you know a preacher with whom you feel comfortable talking, then go ahead; it can't hurt (well, not too much) and it might help.
It's funny to me (in a weird/funny way) that you feel bad about compulsively praying in response to the thoughts about bad things happening to people you love, because I feel guilty for not praying in response to those thoughts.
I know compulsive praying is a very common kind of OCD, but until I read your posting here, I never really appreciated that maybe it's okay that I don't pray all the time. So, thanks, although I know that doesn't help you with your problem.
I also can't help being really amused about your "if I drink orange juice with breakfast, I won't have a good day" thought because my OCD mother insisted that I couldn't have a good day without orange juice. (I never have orange juice as an adult.) It too gives me a new perspective.
It's almost like you are the Bizarro version of my OCD (if you're familiar with the old Superman comic's Bizarro Superman). Or maybe I'm the bizarro OCD'er.
Anyway, I am on the medication and hate the side effects, but not quite as much as I hate the anxiety of OCD.
It's funny to me (in a weird/funny way) that you feel bad about compulsively praying in response to the thoughts about bad things happening to people you love, because I feel guilty for not praying in response to those thoughts.
I know compulsive praying is a very common kind of OCD, but until I read your posting here, I never really appreciated that maybe it's okay that I don't pray all the time. So, thanks, although I know that doesn't help you with your problem.
I also can't help being really amused about your "if I drink orange juice with breakfast, I won't have a good day" thought because my OCD mother insisted that I couldn't have a good day without orange juice. (I never have orange juice as an adult.) It too gives me a new perspective.
It's almost like you are the Bizarro version of my OCD (if you're familiar with the old Superman comic's Bizarro Superman). Or maybe I'm the bizarro OCD'er.
Anyway, I am on the medication and hate the side effects, but not quite as much as I hate the anxiety of OCD.
kotitka
05-23-2007, 04:18 PM
Oh, this is not amusing to me. My OCD essencially is same thing: if you do this, this and this will happen. Then I have to avoid it or undo it. The thoughts strike anytime, like I'd been unable to go shopping, 'cause nothing was safe, or I am scheduled to have surgery soon, and if I do certain thing (which I need to do, damn it, I got work and life to manage!), and then have surgery, then something will happen later on. And there's no way to undo the surgery - laugh at me- so it's been driving me nut. Like I have it now- I wore certain panties yesterday, that means if I put staples in office documents today, and then they are put away and I never have access to them to undo it, and I have surgery, I may get this awful disease later on. No, I don't see a connection between thing. Yes, I feeel it may happen. Like all of us. I've been able to resist it, though it tears me apart. Read my posts in "is it possible to quit cold turkey".
seriousperson
05-23-2007, 11:19 PM
I hope my post above didn't offend.
I have a different sense of humor than most people, but this wasn't funny ha-ha, just funny weird.
I don't laugh at jokes or comedy shows on tv.
Humor is very subjective, and very few things strike me as something I totally understand.
Anyway, sorry if my brief moment of something close to being amused by something that hurts me was offensive to others.
I have a different sense of humor than most people, but this wasn't funny ha-ha, just funny weird.
I don't laugh at jokes or comedy shows on tv.
Humor is very subjective, and very few things strike me as something I totally understand.
Anyway, sorry if my brief moment of something close to being amused by something that hurts me was offensive to others.
Doglover5
05-24-2007, 09:03 AM
Oh, it didn't offend me. I understood that you meant it was funny 'weird', not funny 'haha'. :) No worries.