AlwaysScared
05-23-2007, 10:53 PM
I am really scared right now because I´m sure I lost control. I was always worrying that I might harm a child and it got to the point where I was thinking maybe I should just do it and then at least I´ll know what it feels like. then I can know for sure if something really happened. Well, next thing I know, I see this little boy walking down the sidewalk alone, and I get this feeling like I am going to go through with it and do something bad to him, like choke him to death, and I tell myself stupid stuff like okay, now you have to go through with it to feel better, and I didnt even feel scared about doing anything bad, like a crazy person would feel, and Next thing I know, I have this feeling of guilt, knowing that I did something that I cant take back, feeling like I have to run to my therapist and tell her what happened, even if she throws me in jail. I hope to God I didnt go through with my actions, but what if I did? what if I just lost it? Help me please!!!!!!!!!
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seriousperson
05-24-2007, 12:04 AM
Wow. Definitely tell your therapist. If he/she is worth anything, he/she should be able to steer you in a better direction, maybe to a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication. I don't know, maybe your therapist will think it's okay since you didn't do anything. But that doesn't make your suffering okay.
steveo23
05-24-2007, 12:05 AM
Hey
You say you did'nt even feel scared about the idea of doing anything bad, but it obviously did scare you... you would'nt be so distressed and posting here about it if it did'nt, or have this need to confess to your therapist. Think about it.
You've done nothing wrong, and you have't/would'nt of hurt that little boy. Its only OCD that injects this extreme doubt. Your "what if?" is your OCD at work. What if I have HIV? What if I'm going crazy? What if I hurt or would hurt that person? People with OCD are the same, no matter what it is they are obsessing about.
Our obsessions can become disturbingly "real" in our heads, and our patterns of thought and logic very distorted as a result. I know, I have been there, especially when it comes to this obsession that we might somehow cause harm to others. And a lot of people with OCD do feel guilty, when we really have nothing to feel guilty about. Remember that OCD is all about the things you really dont want to happen.
You have'nt lost control at all, and your therapist is not gonna throw you in jail if you tell her of this. :) The only thing that I believe is out of control here is anxiety, and that is no fault of your own. It also does not make you crazy. I would say try not to worry, but I know that is a cross we have to bear a lot of the time.
Steve
You say you did'nt even feel scared about the idea of doing anything bad, but it obviously did scare you... you would'nt be so distressed and posting here about it if it did'nt, or have this need to confess to your therapist. Think about it.
You've done nothing wrong, and you have't/would'nt of hurt that little boy. Its only OCD that injects this extreme doubt. Your "what if?" is your OCD at work. What if I have HIV? What if I'm going crazy? What if I hurt or would hurt that person? People with OCD are the same, no matter what it is they are obsessing about.
Our obsessions can become disturbingly "real" in our heads, and our patterns of thought and logic very distorted as a result. I know, I have been there, especially when it comes to this obsession that we might somehow cause harm to others. And a lot of people with OCD do feel guilty, when we really have nothing to feel guilty about. Remember that OCD is all about the things you really dont want to happen.
You have'nt lost control at all, and your therapist is not gonna throw you in jail if you tell her of this. :) The only thing that I believe is out of control here is anxiety, and that is no fault of your own. It also does not make you crazy. I would say try not to worry, but I know that is a cross we have to bear a lot of the time.
Steve
purplegirl1
05-24-2007, 01:21 AM
I Agree With Steveo...you Are Definately Scared And Would Be Upset B/c You Are Obsessing About It And Posting Here. You Also Somehow Made Yourself Believe That It Would Not Bother You B/c Of The Ocd....it Is Ocd
It Is Ocd
It Is Ocd
It Is Ocd
Just Keep Telling Your Self That :)
It Is Ocd
It Is Ocd
It Is Ocd
Just Keep Telling Your Self That :)