I am a U.S. Marine overseas. I really don't know what this site is for, but I guess I need some type of assurance that things will be OK. My twins both were diagnosed with autism and I am shocked. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night praying that my boys will be OK one day. Any suggestions to have them start talking, get haircuts, and how to get the gears start rolling back into my life.

Hello Hutch

I am retired from a local school system and have worked with autistic syudents. My work was confined to the higher end of the scale... aspberger's. I do not know where your children lay on the spectrum. What I do know is that I am developing a keen interest in autism since I retired and am thinking of returning to work as an aide to autistic teens.

My online research ha shown some promising research in ythe use of Omega# fish oil and autism. Maybe some research would be worth your while.

I think the best assurance I can give you is to tell you that my work with autistic teens thus far has been so very, very pleasant and rewarding. Most have exceptionally good thinking in what strikes their fancy. Most have great intelligence. It is a very misunderstood condition. I don't know for sure how to get them to start talking, but I would talk to them constantly and play lots and lots of nursey rhymes and little songs. The words will be in their minds and hopefully they will produce them when they can.

God Bless
reachout

My son is 9yrs old and was diagnosed with autism at about 2yrs old. The best thing I can tell you is to do as much research as you can. There are many different schools of thought on diet and supplement treatment, and even some medical treatments that people will say work miracles. Try what you can and what you are comfortable with (and can afford, some things are quite expensive). The BEST thing you can do is get as much therapy as you can. Speech, Occupational, Play therapy, music therapy...anything you can. It maybe slow going at first. My son did not talk either and it seemed like we spent millions of hours just working on the simplest things with no results. Then, one day, you see him do something that you had just about given up on as hopeless and it makes it all worth while. My son attends a regular 2nd grade class with an aide only for Art and Music sometimes and PE all the time only because he can get overwhelmed with all the activity and noise. He's very smart. Reads, writes and is starting on multiplication this year. We never knew when he was 2 and 3 that he would ever do those things. Just don't give up. You may be frustrated for a few years, but therapy works. The younger you start the better the results usually. But remember, every child is different and autism is a spectrum. Some kids do better than others, but I believe they all can all do better with therapy than without. Good Luck

Your not alone, I'm glad you realize one think! They are your sons!!! My son too has autism and we didn't know til he was almost 4 years old because he walked, sat everything except talked at the right age. And yes my husband took it hard at first, but with time and understanding it will improve, just have faith!!! My son did not like to get haircuts, did not like the sound of the ocean and hated the sand. He is now going to be 7 years old and has learned to set still for haircuts, loves the water and can touch the sand....It takes time, and repeat repeat and repeat. Some childred don't like change some are okay. Just take one day at a time, there is so many parents that are learning just like you and me. You will be fine, always support your wife. Good luck and remember they are your sons!!!!!!!!!!

BBNELSON

:wave: SEMPER FI!!!!! This site is WONDERFUL when you have questions, concerns or just when you need to relate to someone who truly knows what you are going through. Keep it in your "favorites" because personally I have found it more helpful than any book I have ever read.
Take Care Devil Dog!!!!!!

First off, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for serving our country, I am very grateful to you.

Secondly, your post brought tears to my eyes, for even though my son is now almost 15 yrs, it flooded back memories of the unknown so many years ago. You are on the right track, you obviously love your sons, and are ready to fight for them. Read EVERYTHING. Find a DAN! doctor, (Defeat Autism Now!) And get them into every therapy possible, as soon as possible.

When my son was 2-3-4yrs old he HATED haircuts. No barber would even attempt after a few minutes. Finally one beautician handed me her hair clippers and said, "Here, take these home and do it yourself". It was like trying to buzz a wild cat. Tears, snot and hair clipping smeared all over his face. My husband would hold his head, and I would buzz as fast as I could.

NOW, I can honestly say a few days ago my son asked me to give him a haircut. He got out the trimmers, the scissors and the spray bottle & comb. As I was cutting, I asked him if he remembered hating to get his haircut. He said yes. I asked him if he could remember why he hated to get his haircut...he said, NO. Okay, so he's still not a huge talker...LOL

I need to get busy, and I could write a novel, so I'll close for now. But one last thing I'd like to say is it's okay to grieve. Yes, your boys are a live and hopefully healthy, but they have lost something, and they might not get it back. It's scary, sad, and very hard. It took my husband 6-7 years before he finally broke down and admitted his pain. The only time in my life I've seen him cry. He wept, he yelled, he cussed God, he prayed. He finally got it all out, and it saved our marriage.

Thank you for the service you provide to our country! I admire your conviction and ability. I also admire your seeking out conversation and discussion on this board for your boys (at least I don't see it much from dads!)

Try to remember you were given to your boys for a reason. The Lord has a plan, which is what I try to remind myself of. HE brought you to them and them to you because HE knows that his plan will be served and you will be a victor rather than a victim. If God be for you, then who dare be against you?

I agree what another said about grieving. I am not sure you ever stop because you constantly remember what your child has lost...from the mundane to the extraordinary.

I also agree with therapies, the earlier the better. My son is 6 and didn't speak until he was 3 1/2. We used PECS and sign language in the beginning. The first time he signed the word more I nearly broke down. Any communication at all was better than nothing. I still remember what his first word was too! I don't think I will ever forget. The little things will become big accomplishments because you know how much work it took for them to get there.

As you become aware of their gifts, keep reminding yourself of them. When you find something they like, use it to teach them something. Work WITH what you have to get to those places you need to go. For example, my son loves road signs and numbers, so a lot of things we have worked on use those things.

My son is just starting to reason a little bit and it helps some with behavior but we still have a ways to go.

I don't know how it works with military issues or the ages of your boys, but there are resources available. I would be happy to help any way I can. I also recommened a DAN doctor. We are doing that and have been for over a year. We are chelating, adjusting diet, working with yeast, etc. I will be happy to share information there if you would like, also.

It is all work...as you know....but the rewards are great.


Kim