male2581
05-30-2007, 11:27 PM
So today I went to a php (Psychiatric nurse practitioner) for my second and last visit. I felt like I knew more about OCD than she did. Does this happen to anyone else? It seems like the whole world has the idea that a person with OCD is someone who has to have things neat and tidy and washes their hands all the time. As we all know here, hopefully we all know, that is not usually the case. However, I am in no way downsizing those who do struggle with physical compulsions. I know they are just as tourmenting as mental compulsions.
The questionare that I filled out on the previous visit to the pnp had little to do with obssesive thoughts of violence, lust, and blasphemy, and more about how many darn minutes it took me to get dressed in the morning, or how many times I had to check the front door at night. I do neither of which by the way, because I have mental-neutralizing thought compulsions and not pyhsical ones.
Here is how I sum up my OCD. It is the physical possibility that my worse fear regarding a certain situation could happen. I guess like most of us, I fear that I may some how lose control although I know 100% that it could never happen.
A couple of things happened today that royaly p***** me off. One of which, was when I tried to explain for example, talking to my father I could get the thought to punch him in the nose. She then said, well maybe there is some hidden anger or some crap like that. I tried to explain that there is no hidden anger, but rather a fear. If there were truly any anger, it would not bother me so much to have that thought. It is just the last and worst thing that I could possibly think could happen in that situation, and that is why I got that thought. Then I began to explain that a few years ago how I had developed a pedophellia obssesion (since dissapeared) because I am disgusted with the thought of children being abused especially sexually. She then asked if I had ever molested of had urges to molest a child. I was outraged. I think that anyone who knows anything about OCD would know that peoples obssesions form because they are so against the behavior, and not acutually considering it. If the tourmenting though does not bother them, then it is not OCD. I think she should have known that.
I think that larger steps must be taken in order to educated the public and all mental health professionals as to the 2 different types of OCD. That is those who suffer from physical compulsions and those who suffer from mental or those who have no compulsions at all ( PURE O).
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this. It means alot to me and hope to meet others dealing with what I have been going through for support on this forum.
The questionare that I filled out on the previous visit to the pnp had little to do with obssesive thoughts of violence, lust, and blasphemy, and more about how many darn minutes it took me to get dressed in the morning, or how many times I had to check the front door at night. I do neither of which by the way, because I have mental-neutralizing thought compulsions and not pyhsical ones.
Here is how I sum up my OCD. It is the physical possibility that my worse fear regarding a certain situation could happen. I guess like most of us, I fear that I may some how lose control although I know 100% that it could never happen.
A couple of things happened today that royaly p***** me off. One of which, was when I tried to explain for example, talking to my father I could get the thought to punch him in the nose. She then said, well maybe there is some hidden anger or some crap like that. I tried to explain that there is no hidden anger, but rather a fear. If there were truly any anger, it would not bother me so much to have that thought. It is just the last and worst thing that I could possibly think could happen in that situation, and that is why I got that thought. Then I began to explain that a few years ago how I had developed a pedophellia obssesion (since dissapeared) because I am disgusted with the thought of children being abused especially sexually. She then asked if I had ever molested of had urges to molest a child. I was outraged. I think that anyone who knows anything about OCD would know that peoples obssesions form because they are so against the behavior, and not acutually considering it. If the tourmenting though does not bother them, then it is not OCD. I think she should have known that.
I think that larger steps must be taken in order to educated the public and all mental health professionals as to the 2 different types of OCD. That is those who suffer from physical compulsions and those who suffer from mental or those who have no compulsions at all ( PURE O).
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this. It means alot to me and hope to meet others dealing with what I have been going through for support on this forum.
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Christian73
05-31-2007, 12:19 AM
I feel your pain, man. It seems to me that the majority of people who I encounter on this and other boards have the O part but that (I think because it's physical) those with the physical compulsions are what has entered the popular imagination. Even with psychiatrists. I think we need better ways of communication what's going on internally for us.
My therapist (thank God!) totally gets it and understands that it's the psychic pain that is so hard to deal with for most of us. The unending thoughts that are really objectionable. I keep meaning to read "The Imp of the Mind" because it deals so directly with the obsessive thoughts and concurrent anxiety.
My therapist (thank God!) totally gets it and understands that it's the psychic pain that is so hard to deal with for most of us. The unending thoughts that are really objectionable. I keep meaning to read "The Imp of the Mind" because it deals so directly with the obsessive thoughts and concurrent anxiety.
ChanceFL
05-31-2007, 12:47 AM
I completely understand. I posted earlier today about my outrage with my new psychiatrist. I left feeling worse than when I came. I had a breakdown tonight and just started crying hysterically and had to call my mom who called my former psychiatrist because she was so worried about me. Anyway, I am a little calmer now, but today's experience left me feeling so hopeless.
By the way, I agree about the questionare. There weren't that many symptoms that applied to me which is why I think she was so convinced that I mainly have anxiety and depression. It is so hard living with these problems, especially when there are professionals who just don't get it. That's why boards like these are so great. We can all get through this together.
By the way, I agree about the questionare. There weren't that many symptoms that applied to me which is why I think she was so convinced that I mainly have anxiety and depression. It is so hard living with these problems, especially when there are professionals who just don't get it. That's why boards like these are so great. We can all get through this together.
male2581
05-31-2007, 08:07 AM
Thanks so much for your response to my post. It has been eating at me all night that this lady probaly thinks that I'm some kind of psychopath. It is sad that professionals don't fully understand OCD. We are not all like Monk or Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets. I forgot to mention that after I told her about the pedophelia obssesion that I also had a homosexual obssesion as well at one time. She replied that that is normal. She must have comfused it with obssesing about not being gay but having the thoughts, and actually considering a homosexual act. No more normal than any other obssesion in my opinion obviously because I am not gay, and those thoughts bothered me enough to form an obssesion! It comforts me that others dealing with OCD can feel my pain and frustration. OCD is not an easy thing to deal with, but I am not a psychopath. In fact I'm the complete opposite and I guess that is why these things bother me so much. I think I'm going to start to reccomend reading a few good books on OCD to psychiatrists. Thanks again for the responses guys, It is much appreciated.
Post-It
05-31-2007, 10:55 AM
Oh boy, I'm sorry you guys had to go through this. I really feel your pain and reading your story made me mad. My last therapist was like that. She thought because I didn't have any physical compulsions and because she had NEVER heard of pure O OCD, there was no way I could have OCD. She even "conferred" with her "OCD specialist" and he said the same thing. Many therapists who claim they can treat OCD just don't know a whole lot about it.
My old therapist also thought my obsessions must have something to do with my childhood. So you can imagine, someone who fears it's not OCD and it's really me, having someone tell them it's not OCD - yeah that set me back a few months in recovery.
Have you tried searching for a therapist through the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation? At their website, you can find a list of therapists in your area. That is how I found my current therapist and she is a godsend. She totally understands Pure O and knows exactly how to treat it.
My old therapist also thought my obsessions must have something to do with my childhood. So you can imagine, someone who fears it's not OCD and it's really me, having someone tell them it's not OCD - yeah that set me back a few months in recovery.
Have you tried searching for a therapist through the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation? At their website, you can find a list of therapists in your area. That is how I found my current therapist and she is a godsend. She totally understands Pure O and knows exactly how to treat it.
male2581
05-31-2007, 02:03 PM
I guess what really bugs me, is how these people can be considered professionals if they don't know about OCD with Mental/comp. and pure O. Seems like something needs to be done about this. I mean the best book I've read on Mental compulsions and pure O is Orborn's "Tourmenting Thoughts and Secret Rituals." And that's been out since 1998. This should be common knowlege by now. Or at least you would think so.
I also know that there are other books that are written accuratly on both types of OCD, so if anyone has a great one to recommend, please post it. I wish that I could think of a way that we could all pull together and shed the proper light that pure O and mental compulsion OCD deserves.
Thanks again, you guys give me hope of someday finding somone who can truly help me through this. I think I may try the OCD foundation this time and see what I can find.:confused:
I also know that there are other books that are written accuratly on both types of OCD, so if anyone has a great one to recommend, please post it. I wish that I could think of a way that we could all pull together and shed the proper light that pure O and mental compulsion OCD deserves.
Thanks again, you guys give me hope of someday finding somone who can truly help me through this. I think I may try the OCD foundation this time and see what I can find.:confused:
divalou
05-31-2007, 06:49 PM
hey this happened to me too! something seriously needs to be done
my "councillor" patronised me when i was telling her about my relationship OCD with my bf and my GP told me the peadophile fear was a "self esteem issue". Pffft. They are seriously ignorant about ocd, pure o especially.
my gp didnt even get the terminoligy right saying you cant have complusions in your head without having obsessions pyshically. so wrong, i was felt disgusted and really.......unsure about the gp's knowlege on not only ocd but anything else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it really puts you off going to the gp about anything again let along ocd! but seriously ims ure because of this ignorance a lot of ppl go without help, wit the wrong kind of treatment or become worse. it needs to change.,
my "councillor" patronised me when i was telling her about my relationship OCD with my bf and my GP told me the peadophile fear was a "self esteem issue". Pffft. They are seriously ignorant about ocd, pure o especially.
my gp didnt even get the terminoligy right saying you cant have complusions in your head without having obsessions pyshically. so wrong, i was felt disgusted and really.......unsure about the gp's knowlege on not only ocd but anything else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it really puts you off going to the gp about anything again let along ocd! but seriously ims ure because of this ignorance a lot of ppl go without help, wit the wrong kind of treatment or become worse. it needs to change.,
lithenblithe
05-31-2007, 08:12 PM
oh, btw, divalou - i noticed you just got 100 posts ... thought i'd send a little congrats! :)
Post-It
06-01-2007, 09:38 AM
I guess what really bugs me, is how these people can be considered professionals if they don't know about OCD with Mental/comp. and pure O. Seems like something needs to be done about this. I mean the best book I've read on Mental compulsions and pure O is Orborn's "Tourmenting Thoughts and Secret Rituals." And that's been out since 1998. This should be common knowlege by now. Or at least you would think so.
I also know that there are other books that are written accuratly on both types of OCD, so if anyone has a great one to recommend, please post it. I wish that I could think of a way that we could all pull together and shed the proper light that pure O and mental compulsion OCD deserves.
Thanks again, you guys give me hope of someday finding somone who can truly help me through this. I think I may try the OCD foundation this time and see what I can find.:confused:
That's how I feel, too. I thought for sure, with all the information I found available in the internet, that people by now would at least recognize Pure O or know more about it. All I got was patronizing statements from my old therapist - I think she was more mad that I diagnosed myself and felt like her therapy wasn't working (which it wasn't). One of the most popular books is Stop Obsessing! By Edna Foa, who is a pioneer in the OCD field, especially Pure O. The Brain Lock method by Jeffrey Schwartz is another popular book. Not sure why therapists don't know more about this and why it's still only being taught as something that has to involve physical compulsions. I know my Pure O involves compulsions, but they are all mental (seeking relief/reassurance).
I also know that there are other books that are written accuratly on both types of OCD, so if anyone has a great one to recommend, please post it. I wish that I could think of a way that we could all pull together and shed the proper light that pure O and mental compulsion OCD deserves.
Thanks again, you guys give me hope of someday finding somone who can truly help me through this. I think I may try the OCD foundation this time and see what I can find.:confused:
That's how I feel, too. I thought for sure, with all the information I found available in the internet, that people by now would at least recognize Pure O or know more about it. All I got was patronizing statements from my old therapist - I think she was more mad that I diagnosed myself and felt like her therapy wasn't working (which it wasn't). One of the most popular books is Stop Obsessing! By Edna Foa, who is a pioneer in the OCD field, especially Pure O. The Brain Lock method by Jeffrey Schwartz is another popular book. Not sure why therapists don't know more about this and why it's still only being taught as something that has to involve physical compulsions. I know my Pure O involves compulsions, but they are all mental (seeking relief/reassurance).
male2581
06-02-2007, 01:25 AM
Thanks for the recommending those books Post-It. I have heard great things about them and think I 'm going to buy them soon. I went to my local library to find them, and came across my all time favorite which I mentioned in an above post. "Tourmenting Thoughts & Secret Rituals-The Hidden Epidemic of Obssesive Compulsive disorder by Ian Osborn M.D. This book has really opened up doors for me regarding OCD and restored some hope of getting the proper treatment that I and we all deserve. It also comforts me that the author suffers from the same type of OCD as I do which is mental compulsions (counter images and neutralizing thoughts). Such a great book. I just told my parents about what my OCD is really about at age 25 because it got really bad over the past 7 months due to a lot of change. They have been very supportive and understanding about it, plus my dad bought the osborn book and both my parents want to read it. I think he got it on *********** for .99 plus shipping. I also had them read this thread and they said I did an excellent job of describing what I and others are going through with OCD and finding a truly experienced OCD professional. I guess that once you get the support and understandment of others it weakens the anxiety a little bit.