stick2013
05-31-2007, 06:50 AM
Ok, in 2 of your reply's to others, you have stated that you are in a crappy mood... What's going on????
Talk to me......
Hugs,
Sid
Talk to me......
Hugs,
Sid
Sponsor
beka6
05-31-2007, 08:17 AM
Hi Sid,
Just realized I've been logged into healthboards all night - oops!
Things are just crazy right now. I feel like everything is coming at me from all sides and I'm starting to feel a bit emotionally numb. I'm finding it hard to accomplish what I need to do for work, home and family.... Motivation has gone straight down the toilet and blank survival mode has kicked in. My classic response to this kind of overload is to withdraw - which I catch myself doing with everyone around me... But, I'm trying to keep up with as many posts here as I can.
I'm off this morning, running like a crazy woman to get things done...
I hope things are good for you, Sid. I never answered your last post about the plants - Yes, I've heard of a Night Blooming Cirrus. Gorgeous blooms! I'm still trying to visualize 46 plants in your house! Wow!! Night Blooming Cirrus are used homeopathically for fibromyalgia - although, don't ask me how, because I haven't a clue! :)
Take care today,
Beka
Just realized I've been logged into healthboards all night - oops!
Things are just crazy right now. I feel like everything is coming at me from all sides and I'm starting to feel a bit emotionally numb. I'm finding it hard to accomplish what I need to do for work, home and family.... Motivation has gone straight down the toilet and blank survival mode has kicked in. My classic response to this kind of overload is to withdraw - which I catch myself doing with everyone around me... But, I'm trying to keep up with as many posts here as I can.
I'm off this morning, running like a crazy woman to get things done...
I hope things are good for you, Sid. I never answered your last post about the plants - Yes, I've heard of a Night Blooming Cirrus. Gorgeous blooms! I'm still trying to visualize 46 plants in your house! Wow!! Night Blooming Cirrus are used homeopathically for fibromyalgia - although, don't ask me how, because I haven't a clue! :)
Take care today,
Beka
stick2013
05-31-2007, 08:23 AM
Beak,
I have had my Cirrus for almost 3 yrs and the damn thing has yet to bloom. When it does, I will probably fall over with delight. Don't even try to viualize 46 plants in 3 rooms. CROWDED, but homey. Jungle, without the monkeys!!!!!!!
When things get overwhelming I think that WE ALL tend to pull back. It's called healthy. We can't give to others if we don't give to ourselves first....YOU are first....Everyone comes in an order after that.....
Take the time that you need, don't worry about posting if you can't. Just pop in and say HI every once in awhile. We worry...
Hugs,
Sid
I have had my Cirrus for almost 3 yrs and the damn thing has yet to bloom. When it does, I will probably fall over with delight. Don't even try to viualize 46 plants in 3 rooms. CROWDED, but homey. Jungle, without the monkeys!!!!!!!
When things get overwhelming I think that WE ALL tend to pull back. It's called healthy. We can't give to others if we don't give to ourselves first....YOU are first....Everyone comes in an order after that.....
Take the time that you need, don't worry about posting if you can't. Just pop in and say HI every once in awhile. We worry...
Hugs,
Sid
ICC
05-31-2007, 10:19 AM
Amen! and Amen!!
beka6
05-31-2007, 02:54 PM
Sid,
It's common for the NB Cirrus to take a few years before it blooms, isn't it? Sometimes I get my facts mixed up, but I thought that I heard that somewhere. Seeing it bloom would be the coolest thing!
Thanks for validating my need to just be still for a while. I feel like over the past couple of weeks, so much has been shaken up that I need to just relax and let some of the pieces fall back into place. The pieces always fall - and I always manage to pull myself together. I feel some changes going on within me since I started this new round of EMDR. I am finding myself distancing myself from my mom and dad and the one sibling that I actually talk to on a regular basis. While the relationships might work on some level, I am the one who puts the most effort into them. I pretend that some of the things they do don't bother me. After some relationship dissection, I am just not so willing to play the game anymore.
Anyway.... ramble, ramble, blah, blah.... :)
I loved the description of your house, Sid - "a jungle without the monkeys!" My plants and fish have taken over my formal dining room. I call it my "corner of life." It's very therapeutic!
Take care of yourself today,
Beka
It's common for the NB Cirrus to take a few years before it blooms, isn't it? Sometimes I get my facts mixed up, but I thought that I heard that somewhere. Seeing it bloom would be the coolest thing!
Thanks for validating my need to just be still for a while. I feel like over the past couple of weeks, so much has been shaken up that I need to just relax and let some of the pieces fall back into place. The pieces always fall - and I always manage to pull myself together. I feel some changes going on within me since I started this new round of EMDR. I am finding myself distancing myself from my mom and dad and the one sibling that I actually talk to on a regular basis. While the relationships might work on some level, I am the one who puts the most effort into them. I pretend that some of the things they do don't bother me. After some relationship dissection, I am just not so willing to play the game anymore.
Anyway.... ramble, ramble, blah, blah.... :)
I loved the description of your house, Sid - "a jungle without the monkeys!" My plants and fish have taken over my formal dining room. I call it my "corner of life." It's very therapeutic!
Take care of yourself today,
Beka
stick2013
05-31-2007, 05:30 PM
HI Beka,
Therapy is tough. It open scars and turns them into oozing wounds again. Try as we might to bandage them, they NEED to bleed out. It's the only way for us to finally stop the pain, and bleeding. Facing things about ourselves is tough, but when it's your family I think it's even harder. WE can change ourselves, but WE CAN'T change them.....That hurts, and as we get better, they get angry, and accuse US of being jerks. They don't see their behavior, only that ours has changed, and they don't like it.
Yes you are tired. Getting healthy is very demanding. Take some time Beka, go draw a picture of wild flowers, and butterflies. Take a bubble bath, with candles. Relax and think about your goals for getting healthy, and how you will feel when that day comes......
Go rest.
Hugs, and much love,
Sid
Therapy is tough. It open scars and turns them into oozing wounds again. Try as we might to bandage them, they NEED to bleed out. It's the only way for us to finally stop the pain, and bleeding. Facing things about ourselves is tough, but when it's your family I think it's even harder. WE can change ourselves, but WE CAN'T change them.....That hurts, and as we get better, they get angry, and accuse US of being jerks. They don't see their behavior, only that ours has changed, and they don't like it.
Yes you are tired. Getting healthy is very demanding. Take some time Beka, go draw a picture of wild flowers, and butterflies. Take a bubble bath, with candles. Relax and think about your goals for getting healthy, and how you will feel when that day comes......
Go rest.
Hugs, and much love,
Sid
Sannah
06-01-2007, 04:30 PM
Sid,
I am finding myself distancing myself from my mom and dad and the one sibling that I actually talk to on a regular basis. While the relationships might work on some level, I am the one who puts the most effort into them. I pretend that some of the things they do don't bother me. After some relationship dissection, I am just not so willing to play the game anymore.
Beka, this sounds so normal and such a healthy reaction. I guess you are just having a hard time excepting this.
I am finding myself distancing myself from my mom and dad and the one sibling that I actually talk to on a regular basis. While the relationships might work on some level, I am the one who puts the most effort into them. I pretend that some of the things they do don't bother me. After some relationship dissection, I am just not so willing to play the game anymore.
Beka, this sounds so normal and such a healthy reaction. I guess you are just having a hard time excepting this.
ICC
06-01-2007, 04:45 PM
Hi Beka....i agree with Sannah on this. Every dysfunctional, unhealthy relationship I had to end for my own well being I struggled with. Felt very sad for a time as I greived the loss even if it was for the better. You are doing wonderfully and taking care of yourself.
Grasshopper
Grasshopper
beka6
06-01-2007, 11:42 PM
Sid, Sannah and ICC,
Thanks for your encouragement. I know it will get better. I have just been fighting so hard for the last couple of months, that I am so emotionally worn out right now. I've been fighting so many different battles, that I've hit shut-down mode. I'm finding that I have to force myself to care about the details, so work and some aspects of home are suffering at the moment. I've lost my motivation to give a crap anymore. So, I'm not really sure if my withdrawing from my family members is a purposeful, healthy thing, so much as that I'm just too tired to care. Wah, wah, wah.... blah, blah, blah..... I just need to shut-up and go to sleep.
Beka
Thanks for your encouragement. I know it will get better. I have just been fighting so hard for the last couple of months, that I am so emotionally worn out right now. I've been fighting so many different battles, that I've hit shut-down mode. I'm finding that I have to force myself to care about the details, so work and some aspects of home are suffering at the moment. I've lost my motivation to give a crap anymore. So, I'm not really sure if my withdrawing from my family members is a purposeful, healthy thing, so much as that I'm just too tired to care. Wah, wah, wah.... blah, blah, blah..... I just need to shut-up and go to sleep.
Beka
stick2013
06-02-2007, 07:26 AM
Beka,
Shutdown mode is called survival.....It's ok for a temporary time. You need it right now. Just don't use it for too long. Because it can become an escape route, and that's not good.
Try and find some time everyday for YOU!!!!!!!! Remember that YOU come first.
Hang in there hon,
Sid
Shutdown mode is called survival.....It's ok for a temporary time. You need it right now. Just don't use it for too long. Because it can become an escape route, and that's not good.
Try and find some time everyday for YOU!!!!!!!! Remember that YOU come first.
Hang in there hon,
Sid