Hi all,
I started cipramil on wednesday,and so far i feel terrible. I have had headache with full fuzzy feeling and dizziness is not letting up. I know they can make you feel worse before you feel better,but would just like other peoples advice and encouragement,i just feel so down and unable to cope at the moment.All i want to do is be a good mum and wife and its stopping me from enjoying those simple things.I just feel in a world of my own where i am trapped.My daughter is 10 months old now,and i feel like i am missing all those special moments because of this illness. I hate it,i just want my life back. I feel like all i ever think and talk about is how my head is. I feel family and friends dont realise how hard it is and to just "get over it",but its so hard.Im 27 and feel like 87.Am tired and worn out from it all.Why couldnt this illness of come when i am old,so that i can enjoy my first baby and all those happy times without being worn down all the time.
x

I totally sympathize with you Maria. I noticed that you posted back in March and that is about when I started feeling really off. I mean really this whole year hasn't been so great, but especially the past three months have been really yucky.

There are several parts to this "thing" I have, and think that these are all related to the whole picture:

Hormone Imbalance
Allergies
Stress/Overactive Lifestyle (kids, etc.)
Inner ear disorder (Labyrinthitis for me I think)

I'm not at ALL saying you don't need the SSRI. My Allergist tried to tell me that I need them too. But I was never depressed or stressed before all of my illnesses! THAT is what makes me depressed - it's being sick all the time! So for me I am trying to fix the other stuff first (seeing a hormone specialist, getting allergy shots, took antibiotics for Labs - seemed to help, trying to relax more, etc..).

Have you been tested for allergies or hormone imbalance? Have you tried antibiotics yet to treat the inner ear thing?

As for the SSRI, sorry - I'm not an expert on that. Hopefully you can hear from some others who have had some success stories so you don't feel so terrible. I know what you mean about missing out on kid stuff. I was layed up for a couple of weeks just recently and I just felt so terrible about not being able to take care of my family (I have 4 kids!).

Maria, I know how you feel. In the beginning of all this, I felt like I was 90 too and I was just turning 31. Because the last year has been such a blurr, I forgot how old I was. I was so depressed that I didnt want to live anymore, really??? I was finding ways to run my car off the road, and when I saw a nasty accident, I always wished it was me. Just wanted to be normal. My anxiety was out of control, it would wake me up everyday at 4:00am, and could never go back to sleep. The anxiety also made my symptoms worse. I looked and felt horrible. What helped my anxiety was exercise. It really did. I pushed myself as much as i could and the anxiety just faded. I have no more anxiety, and I am at 99% recovered. I had a small blip at the store today, but no worries. I know blips will come and go until I am fully recovered.

SSRI's help some, but can make symptoms worse in others. I was never on it, i just focused on getting better. Thats all I did! All is did was push, and push and push because I kept telling myself, I AM NOT LIVING like this.

Just becareful with The SSRI's because they are not good for everybody.

Wish you the best!
Jax

Hi Maria,

>>>I started cipramil on wednesday,and so far i feel terrible. I have had headache with full fuzzy feeling and dizziness is not letting up.

What dose are you on at the moment? Don't worry about feeling worse at first. I did too when I started 2 weeks ago. You will start to feel better soon. The trick is to not take too much too soon.

Best.....Scott

Hi Maria,

>>>I started cipramil on wednesday,and so far i feel terrible. I have had headache with full fuzzy feeling and dizziness is not letting up.

What dose are you on at the moment? Don't worry about feeling worse at first. I did too when I started 2 weeks ago. You will start to feel better soon. The trick is to not take too much too soon.

Best.....Scott
hi scott,
Doctor has started me on 10mg,does this sound about right? I feel really depressed and unable to cope at the moment,am relying on my husband and family to help me.
maria

thanks missy and jax,
your words are of comfort at times like this! Its just such a lonely illness. i know how you feel about not wanting to live like this,thats how im feeling,totally fed up.It feels such an effort to even get dressed on a morning.I feel like im trapped in a big black cloud and i cant get out.
x

Hi Maria,

Yes, 10 mg is the correct starting dose. It's only day 4 for you now and it will most definitely rev things up at first. I felt dizzier and more out of it for the first week but did gradually feel more positive by the end of that week. Bump the dose up to 3/4 on Wednesday and sit there for another week and let me know how you feel. It usually takes about 2 weeks for things to really settle down and for this thing to turn around. I'm at 15 days today and can watch the TV again now without feeling ill for the first time in 4 weeks. Hang in there...you will see some light soon.

Scott :cool:

Maria,
I don't have any words of wisdom on the SSRI, but as someone who has been recovering from an adverse reaction to some meds this week, I know how GUILTY and aweful you feel needing to depend on others, especially when you're a mom.
I HATE that I missed this week of my kids' lives. I hate that they worried about me. I hate that I had to be treated like a child who needed lots of help. I feel like I need to be strong every day and able to take care of my kids and everyone else around me. It comes with the mother territory. But you would tell a friend that she needs to do it in order to get better, right? Try to talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend. Do what you need to do to get better. Two weeks of struggling and then feeling sooo much stronger is way better than not trying something at all and still feeling like crap for who knows how long.
Hang in there!