stick2013
06-02-2007, 10:28 PM
Just got the phone call. My :angel: Drew passed away at 7 pm tonight. His mom said that he went peaceful. I will miss him with all of my heart. I am glad that I said goodbye...
Sid
Sid
Sponsor
Phoenix
06-02-2007, 10:43 PM
Dear Wendy,
I am pleased that you went to see Drew.
It will make all the difference in the world in the days to come.
My prayers are with you and Drew's family.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
I am pleased that you went to see Drew.
It will make all the difference in the world in the days to come.
My prayers are with you and Drew's family.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
beka6
06-02-2007, 11:19 PM
Sid,
He's finally free.
You and his family will be in my prayers.
Love,
Beka
He's finally free.
You and his family will be in my prayers.
Love,
Beka
stick2013
06-03-2007, 07:37 AM
Thanks FTM & Beka.....
I know that he is free and can finally breath without the aid of O2. How it must have felt for him to finally take his first FULL breath......:)
So now my finally battle is here today. ICC and FTM... You both know that my triggers with death come from when my grandmother die when I was 10, and forced to KISS her dead body everyday x2 for 5 days. OH GOD just thinking about it is getting to me. I can see her OH CRAP!!!!!
Ok so they are waking Drew at home. Oh god!!!! The casket is there. I talked to a friend last night that went over as soon as he passed to help straighten things out. She said he was already laid out in the casket...
Going to see him before he died was tough enough. It wasn't a pretty sight. Actually it was very hard watching him in a coma, eyes open, staring blank, and fighting for breath. But he was still alive.
I have to be there this afternoon to get the house ready for the wake. How am I going to do this???????? I know be strong. Yeah ok, I know that, but the flashbacks are already starting, the anxiety....The FEAR!!!!!!!
I know that he is free and can finally breath without the aid of O2. How it must have felt for him to finally take his first FULL breath......:)
So now my finally battle is here today. ICC and FTM... You both know that my triggers with death come from when my grandmother die when I was 10, and forced to KISS her dead body everyday x2 for 5 days. OH GOD just thinking about it is getting to me. I can see her OH CRAP!!!!!
Ok so they are waking Drew at home. Oh god!!!! The casket is there. I talked to a friend last night that went over as soon as he passed to help straighten things out. She said he was already laid out in the casket...
Going to see him before he died was tough enough. It wasn't a pretty sight. Actually it was very hard watching him in a coma, eyes open, staring blank, and fighting for breath. But he was still alive.
I have to be there this afternoon to get the house ready for the wake. How am I going to do this???????? I know be strong. Yeah ok, I know that, but the flashbacks are already starting, the anxiety....The FEAR!!!!!!!
ICC
06-03-2007, 07:53 AM
Dear Wendy,
I know there are no words to take away the pain, fear and loss you feel, so i won't try.You have had so much of your past slap you lately. Going to see Drew was a positive step in your "new" life. Hard as it was I think you knew you needed to and pulled from the strength and knowledge you have aquired over the years. God rest his beautiful soul in His arms. Drew is at peace now. No more pain. Fresh air fillling his lungs. I know that thought gives you peace as you love him so.
Try to remember your Grandmother's death was part of your past. It's not today. It's not Drew. You were a child. You are a strong well put together adult now who is capable of doing what needs to be done. No one is forcing you to do anything. These are your well thought out decisions now. Drew will be watching you from above and know how hard this is for you. Let him give you comfort and peace knowing he loved you also.
My prayers are with you and the family. Arms are around you. You'll feel us all there holding you if you let yourself.
I love you,
Angel xo
AKA-ICY
AKA-Grasshopper
AKA-ICC
AKA- "Miss Cranky Pants"
I know there are no words to take away the pain, fear and loss you feel, so i won't try.You have had so much of your past slap you lately. Going to see Drew was a positive step in your "new" life. Hard as it was I think you knew you needed to and pulled from the strength and knowledge you have aquired over the years. God rest his beautiful soul in His arms. Drew is at peace now. No more pain. Fresh air fillling his lungs. I know that thought gives you peace as you love him so.
Try to remember your Grandmother's death was part of your past. It's not today. It's not Drew. You were a child. You are a strong well put together adult now who is capable of doing what needs to be done. No one is forcing you to do anything. These are your well thought out decisions now. Drew will be watching you from above and know how hard this is for you. Let him give you comfort and peace knowing he loved you also.
My prayers are with you and the family. Arms are around you. You'll feel us all there holding you if you let yourself.
I love you,
Angel xo
AKA-ICY
AKA-Grasshopper
AKA-ICC
AKA- "Miss Cranky Pants"
Dee-nah
06-03-2007, 11:19 AM
I'm so sorry, Sid but like you said he is in a good place! You will find the courage to go if that is what you want, you are a lot stronger then you think.. Probably one of the strongest people I know!
RIP - Drew!
RIP - Drew!
stick2013
06-03-2007, 11:21 AM
ICC,
I am fighting to stay in the here and now. I am ok around people, but the minute I am alone, things change. Started to disassociate driving home. Good thing my cell phone rang. It pulled me out of it. I need to go back to the house that I was taking care of the dogs, take them out again, and go to Drew's for the rest of the afternoon. Walking in, I hope to god I am not forced to look to the left. How will I avoid it for 3-4 hours. He will be there....Anxiety level is at an all time high. Rubbing my thighs,and rocking do that when I am nervous.
I should be home around 6pm, I will try and check in...
Sid
I am fighting to stay in the here and now. I am ok around people, but the minute I am alone, things change. Started to disassociate driving home. Good thing my cell phone rang. It pulled me out of it. I need to go back to the house that I was taking care of the dogs, take them out again, and go to Drew's for the rest of the afternoon. Walking in, I hope to god I am not forced to look to the left. How will I avoid it for 3-4 hours. He will be there....Anxiety level is at an all time high. Rubbing my thighs,and rocking do that when I am nervous.
I should be home around 6pm, I will try and check in...
Sid
ICC
06-03-2007, 05:39 PM
Sid,
I tota;;yunderstand. In times of tremendous stress you know dissociation is a coping method. I know you're trying to stay in the here and now BUT iit is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. When you're alone do whatever it takes to stay here. Read, walk that treadmill, cook, eat jelly beans, watch something you can get into on TV, call someone, clean and clean somemore. Whatever it takes to keep your mind occupied and you settled. I know it's not easy. You know I know. I'm with you always.
Love you,
ICC
I tota;;yunderstand. In times of tremendous stress you know dissociation is a coping method. I know you're trying to stay in the here and now BUT iit is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. When you're alone do whatever it takes to stay here. Read, walk that treadmill, cook, eat jelly beans, watch something you can get into on TV, call someone, clean and clean somemore. Whatever it takes to keep your mind occupied and you settled. I know it's not easy. You know I know. I'm with you always.
Love you,
ICC
stick2013
06-04-2007, 08:35 AM
Morning,
Yesterday morning I cried, cried, and cried some more. I went through panic attacks, anxiety attacks, flashbacks, and even disassociated. I thought that I would be back in the ward by night time if it kept up. I couldn't focus, had a hard time doing anything. You know how it is?????
I was talking to a friend on the phone, and I think that my turning point was when I said to her, " I can never slip Drew another $20." Most of you know, that was one of my favorite things to do when he was sick or in the hospital. I would leave a silly note, with either a $20, or a $50 on his pillow.
I knew then what I had to do. I HAD to get myself together. One way or another, I had to STOP, doing what I was doing and go there with strength, and courage, and face my fears.
The first thing I did when I got there was ask his mother this...." Would it be ok if I slipped Drew a $20 before I go?" She told me that there were no wrongs or rights with what we all were going through, and whatever I felt I needed to do for Drew was OK with her.
Later they asked me to clean the room that Drew was in.....OK got a little bad here as the door had been closed due to keeping him in AC, and on dry ice....
I said ok....I went in and couldn't look. I looked everywhere but at the coffin. I did talk to him though. Told him how much I loved him, and how much I would miss him. Told him to breath deep, take full breaths of air, and keep on breathing.
At one point and I don't know when or how, a peaceful calm came over me, and I went up to the coffin, reached out, and rubbed his head and told him I loved him. My fears were gone.....
Before I left, his dad and I went in and I slipped a $20 in his pocket. Again I rubbed his head and told his I loved him, and sent him off with a $20, and gods speed.........His dad said " So he goes with a $20, thanks."
The wake is today, tomorrow is the funeral service. I have taken both day off, I need some rest emotionally, and I just wanted too....
Thanks guys... For the help, and advice. How great i feel facing my fears, and getting through it.....
Sid
Yesterday morning I cried, cried, and cried some more. I went through panic attacks, anxiety attacks, flashbacks, and even disassociated. I thought that I would be back in the ward by night time if it kept up. I couldn't focus, had a hard time doing anything. You know how it is?????
I was talking to a friend on the phone, and I think that my turning point was when I said to her, " I can never slip Drew another $20." Most of you know, that was one of my favorite things to do when he was sick or in the hospital. I would leave a silly note, with either a $20, or a $50 on his pillow.
I knew then what I had to do. I HAD to get myself together. One way or another, I had to STOP, doing what I was doing and go there with strength, and courage, and face my fears.
The first thing I did when I got there was ask his mother this...." Would it be ok if I slipped Drew a $20 before I go?" She told me that there were no wrongs or rights with what we all were going through, and whatever I felt I needed to do for Drew was OK with her.
Later they asked me to clean the room that Drew was in.....OK got a little bad here as the door had been closed due to keeping him in AC, and on dry ice....
I said ok....I went in and couldn't look. I looked everywhere but at the coffin. I did talk to him though. Told him how much I loved him, and how much I would miss him. Told him to breath deep, take full breaths of air, and keep on breathing.
At one point and I don't know when or how, a peaceful calm came over me, and I went up to the coffin, reached out, and rubbed his head and told him I loved him. My fears were gone.....
Before I left, his dad and I went in and I slipped a $20 in his pocket. Again I rubbed his head and told his I loved him, and sent him off with a $20, and gods speed.........His dad said " So he goes with a $20, thanks."
The wake is today, tomorrow is the funeral service. I have taken both day off, I need some rest emotionally, and I just wanted too....
Thanks guys... For the help, and advice. How great i feel facing my fears, and getting through it.....
Sid
ICC
06-04-2007, 08:51 AM
Dear Sid,
I don't know what to say other than my heart is filled with the love you and Drew shared and the two of you had what you had. Also that you have faced your demons and allowed the love you have to give you strength. I will not tell you I am proud of you, though I am, because I don't feel this is the time. You did what your heart told you to do and I believe crossed over a mountain.
God be with all of you,
ICC xo
I don't know what to say other than my heart is filled with the love you and Drew shared and the two of you had what you had. Also that you have faced your demons and allowed the love you have to give you strength. I will not tell you I am proud of you, though I am, because I don't feel this is the time. You did what your heart told you to do and I believe crossed over a mountain.
God be with all of you,
ICC xo
stick2013
06-04-2007, 08:57 AM
Thanks ICC....I just feel so different now. Yes I am sad, yes I still cry, but not the way that I had been. Weird. His parents are also a world of strength. I think his dad is taking this hard, and I worry about his mother. Too controlled with her feelings right now. No tears, laughing, just like on remote doing things. Just like it's another day, and she has things to do. I really am worried that when it sinks in she will crumble. I even asked her, "So when is it your time to mourn his death?" "When do you finally cry for him?" She said that she has cried a couple of times when she went to bed.. I don't know, but she is just WAY too CONTROLLED.....
What do you think??
Sid
What do you think??
Sid
ICC
06-04-2007, 09:04 AM
Oh Sid.....I understand Drew's mother. I cried at first , a little but basically was the pillar of strength for all around me. I was in a dissociative state of mind for months afterwards. Would have my times, but went back to work immediately, burnt the candle at both ends and never accepted the fact that "M" really passed away for 10 months. I needed enough distance in between me and her death , enough time to even come close to grieving. Not to say his mom will be the same. Keep an eye on her, in the future. Don't worry too much in the next few days. Once the funeral is done and he's laid to rest she may be able to grieve then. If too much time goes on, maybe talk to her. There are no right or wrong ways to grieve. You know that. We are all different BUT if you don't think she is at all , she may block it as I did for a long time. My girlfriend who lost her son i remember holding up well, better than anyone thought. Her husband on the other hand was a mess from day one. He is as good as can be 10 years later. She killed herself slowly. Passed 5 years after her son. She could and would not accept his death. I'm here. If there is anything I can do please , please let me know. In the meantime I hae said my prayers for all this morning. You do know that Drew himself helped you to come tohim yesterday? What a wonderful young man.
Love you,
ICC xo
Love you,
ICC xo
stick2013
06-04-2007, 09:14 AM
I will keep an eye on her. Her and I have always been able to talk. I do understand everything you have said, and thank you for your wisdom.
Yes, I know that it was Drew helping me. He was a child of love. His death has brought an ENTIRE community together. The church where his father is the minister, took it upon themselves to hold all night, all day vigils for the past few days until Drew passed. They wanted the lights on so that he could find his way... How wonderful, and how much love for ONE child. He has brought so many people so much......
Yes, I know that it was Drew helping me. He was a child of love. His death has brought an ENTIRE community together. The church where his father is the minister, took it upon themselves to hold all night, all day vigils for the past few days until Drew passed. They wanted the lights on so that he could find his way... How wonderful, and how much love for ONE child. He has brought so many people so much......
ICC
06-04-2007, 09:18 AM
Sid, I am so glad you have the relationship you have with Drew's mom. You will be a true comfort and support system for her when she's ready.
What a wonderful young man and what a wonderful community. He is so loved. By those who knew him and by the Lord who he now rests with.
Hugs and Love,
ICC
What a wonderful young man and what a wonderful community. He is so loved. By those who knew him and by the Lord who he now rests with.
Hugs and Love,
ICC
beka6
06-04-2007, 09:19 AM
Dear Sid,
You did it! Your strength yesterday will let you remember this entire experience with Drew without any shadow of regret. It will strengthen the bond between you and Drew. In moments of stillness and mental rest for yourself, you will probably feel his spirit telling you "thank you."
You've conquered a lot of demons the last few weeks - and you've won!
Well done, Sid!
Beka
You did it! Your strength yesterday will let you remember this entire experience with Drew without any shadow of regret. It will strengthen the bond between you and Drew. In moments of stillness and mental rest for yourself, you will probably feel his spirit telling you "thank you."
You've conquered a lot of demons the last few weeks - and you've won!
Well done, Sid!
Beka
stick2013
06-04-2007, 09:21 AM
ICC,
Thank you so much for the past few days...You and others have helped. Yours has been from true love, and I hold that dear to my heart. Thank you again hon......
I have a few things I need to do, but wanted to ask before I go... HOW ARE YOU?????
Thank you so much for the past few days...You and others have helped. Yours has been from true love, and I hold that dear to my heart. Thank you again hon......
I have a few things I need to do, but wanted to ask before I go... HOW ARE YOU?????
stick2013
06-04-2007, 09:32 AM
Beka,
Thanks hon for the kind words and thoughts.....How are you doing??? Any better???? Please let us know what's up ok???
Hugs,
Sid
Thanks hon for the kind words and thoughts.....How are you doing??? Any better???? Please let us know what's up ok???
Hugs,
Sid
ICC
06-04-2007, 09:42 AM
Sid,
Not too good. We'll talk later. you are my priority right now.
ICC
Not too good. We'll talk later. you are my priority right now.
ICC
stick2013
06-04-2007, 10:31 AM
Dear ICC,
I am so sorry that I have been so needy, and selfish. I apologize for being that way. Please, I am OK..... Let me know what's going on with you........I truly do care hon...
Sid
I love you too from the bottom, top, and sides of my heart.....:)
I am so sorry that I have been so needy, and selfish. I apologize for being that way. Please, I am OK..... Let me know what's going on with you........I truly do care hon...
Sid
I love you too from the bottom, top, and sides of my heart.....:)
ICC
06-04-2007, 10:41 AM
OK Sid......I have the bat now. I made you my priority, you didn't ask me to so don't you dare apologize or ever, ever call yourself selfish to me or I will hunt your butt down. Sisters take care of each other. All I'm doing is paying back the love, support and comfort you have given me so many, many times. NEEDY......is that how you see yourself right now? The bat has just gone over your head:dizzy: Oh I could just shake you right now.:blob_fire You know as well as I do that GIVING is equally as healing as TAKING!! OK .. are we done with this mindset now????? I will start another thread as to what's going on so I don't take away from your's and Drew's. And you know what??? I don't care if anyone likes it or not. If someone is not interested or resentful ofour relationship they don't have to read it. I WILL NOT apologize again for needing help, caring about you, or the fact that my problems may not seem important to some. I gave that up months ago.I don't want to hurt anyone but cannot be here and walk on eggs all the time.I am sensitive too. See you on MY new thread.
Love from all over,
ICC xo
Love from all over,
ICC xo
stick2013
06-04-2007, 10:47 AM
Ok, Well, That crack over the head HURT!!!!! But the message sunk in....
See you on your new thread. I feel the same way too. I try to give EVERYONE my help, but can not, and don't feel the way about everyone. I have a different relationship with all. But do hold some VERY dear to my heart.
Sid
See you on your new thread. I feel the same way too. I try to give EVERYONE my help, but can not, and don't feel the way about everyone. I have a different relationship with all. But do hold some VERY dear to my heart.
Sid
ICC
06-04-2007, 11:01 AM
Same here Sid and I will not apologize for it anymore. If I worried about what everyone thought of me I would be regressing a couple of years. Not willing to do that.
ICC
ICC
Sannah
06-05-2007, 12:27 PM
Sid, sorry about your loss. Good work on the trigger!
stick2013
06-05-2007, 03:40 PM
Sannah, I would gladly have the trigger for the rest of my life if I hadn't had to lose Drew to do this. Believe me. What is a trigger???? Drew was worth more than 100000000000000000000000 triggers. I would have given MY life to save his.
Your timing this time kind of sucks sannah, but thanks anyway.
Sid
Your timing this time kind of sucks sannah, but thanks anyway.
Sid
Sannah
06-05-2007, 04:47 PM
Sid, I am sorry for my clumsiness and insensitivity....
stick2013
06-05-2007, 07:01 PM
sannah,
Your apology is accepted. I too apologize for my nasty retort.
It's a sensitive subject. One that I had wish never to visit. Unless you knew Drew, you can't full appreciate what a wonderful child he really was. It is such a waste. Filled with sadness that he had a life full of pain and suffering, and yet NEVER complained, and ALWAYS was more worried about the other guy.....A gifted child, very intelligent, and loved god.
He will truly be missed.
Sid
Your apology is accepted. I too apologize for my nasty retort.
It's a sensitive subject. One that I had wish never to visit. Unless you knew Drew, you can't full appreciate what a wonderful child he really was. It is such a waste. Filled with sadness that he had a life full of pain and suffering, and yet NEVER complained, and ALWAYS was more worried about the other guy.....A gifted child, very intelligent, and loved god.
He will truly be missed.
Sid
beka6
06-05-2007, 10:38 PM
Sid,
Drew sounds like he was too good for this world. God needs him now.
Take care of you,
Beka
Drew sounds like he was too good for this world. God needs him now.
Take care of you,
Beka
Sannah
06-06-2007, 06:01 PM
Sid, it's true, I cannot truly appreciate this child or your relationship with him. Sid, as I am getting to know you more and more (because usually you are helping others and not revealing too much about yourself) I am seeing how very sensitive you are and how attached that you get to people. On a scale of 1 to 10, I see you at the top and myself in the middle of this scale of sensitivity/attachment to others.
stick2013
06-06-2007, 06:09 PM
sannah,
Drew's death has really affected me. I have reflected alot in the last few days. Not only my relationship with him, but the loss of relationship with my own grandchildren. I will miss Drew, he was and still is a very special child.
You are right, when I care about someone.... I care, and will fight tooth and nail for that person. Even if it means hitting them in the head with my bat, so that they have the "DUH!" moment.........
Again I am sorry, and I offer you the olive branch......
Hugs,
Sid
Drew's death has really affected me. I have reflected alot in the last few days. Not only my relationship with him, but the loss of relationship with my own grandchildren. I will miss Drew, he was and still is a very special child.
You are right, when I care about someone.... I care, and will fight tooth and nail for that person. Even if it means hitting them in the head with my bat, so that they have the "DUH!" moment.........
Again I am sorry, and I offer you the olive branch......
Hugs,
Sid
Sannah
06-06-2007, 06:20 PM
Sid, olive branch exchanged!
Phoenix
06-07-2007, 03:38 AM
Now that's a Hallmark moment.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
Take care
God Bless
FTM
Phoenix
06-13-2007, 08:24 PM
Dearest Sid:
I believe that it is best that we don't know the "why" of it all; we might not like the answer.
I once wrote a poem entitled "The Meaning of Life."
The last verse goes: "so quietly I sat down, bewildered in strife
and commenced contemplating the meaning of life."
Acceptance is a most difficult task, indeed.
Take care
God Bless
Ryan aka FTM
I believe that it is best that we don't know the "why" of it all; we might not like the answer.
I once wrote a poem entitled "The Meaning of Life."
The last verse goes: "so quietly I sat down, bewildered in strife
and commenced contemplating the meaning of life."
Acceptance is a most difficult task, indeed.
Take care
God Bless
Ryan aka FTM
stick2013
06-14-2007, 06:51 AM
FTM,,
My favorite saying......"To ask WHY is to open the door for more abuse."
I have come to terms with Drew's death. I know it's for the best, he isn't suffering anymore, he can breath now, and his little body isn't racked with pain.
No more feeding tubes, nightly feedings. No more coughing till he would choke, and vomit. No more exhaustion from trying to walk 10 feet.
He had a wonderful 15 yrs as far as a child could want. His parents gave him love, understanding, patience, and everything he could want. They knew his time was limited, and so they did as much as they could for him in those 15 yrs.
My sadness comes from missing him in the physical. Not being able to see him, talk to him, and rough up his hair as I walk by him....
I know deep in my heart that Drew WAS an :angel: here on earth, and now his is an :angel: with God's grace in heaven.
Hugs,
Sid
My favorite saying......"To ask WHY is to open the door for more abuse."
I have come to terms with Drew's death. I know it's for the best, he isn't suffering anymore, he can breath now, and his little body isn't racked with pain.
No more feeding tubes, nightly feedings. No more coughing till he would choke, and vomit. No more exhaustion from trying to walk 10 feet.
He had a wonderful 15 yrs as far as a child could want. His parents gave him love, understanding, patience, and everything he could want. They knew his time was limited, and so they did as much as they could for him in those 15 yrs.
My sadness comes from missing him in the physical. Not being able to see him, talk to him, and rough up his hair as I walk by him....
I know deep in my heart that Drew WAS an :angel: here on earth, and now his is an :angel: with God's grace in heaven.
Hugs,
Sid
Phoenix
06-14-2007, 12:29 PM
FTM,,
My favorite saying......"To ask WHY is to open the door for more abuse."
I have come to terms with Drew's death. I know it's for the best, he isn't suffering anymore, he can breath now, and his little body isn't racked with pain.
No more feeding tubes, nightly feedings. No more coughing till he would choke, and vomit. No more exhaustion from trying to walk 10 feet.
He had a wonderful 15 yrs as far as a child could want. His parents gave him love, understanding, patience, and everything he could want. They knew his time was limited, and so they did as much as they could for him in those 15 yrs.
My sadness comes from missing him in the physical. Not being able to see him, talk to him, and rough up his hair as I walk by him....
I know deep in my heart that Drew WAS an :angel: here on earth, and now his is an :angel: with God's grace in heaven.
Hugs,
Sid
Dear Sid:
We are all :angel: 's but in saying that there are positive and negative ones.
We enrich our lives when we meet with the positive ones and the negative ones seem to "take" from our existence, hence the "wishing that they would go back from whence they came."
What you have now are the positive angels (Drew) existence etched in your memory forever, which, my dear, is the highest compliment that a positive angel can receive.
It is in his positivity that you bring new life to Drew.
I know that you are not one for "digging deep" and fully respect that but if you search that special place, you will then realize that you can "feel" with your mind.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
PS- Me "bumping up" this thread was no mere coincidence.
My favorite saying......"To ask WHY is to open the door for more abuse."
I have come to terms with Drew's death. I know it's for the best, he isn't suffering anymore, he can breath now, and his little body isn't racked with pain.
No more feeding tubes, nightly feedings. No more coughing till he would choke, and vomit. No more exhaustion from trying to walk 10 feet.
He had a wonderful 15 yrs as far as a child could want. His parents gave him love, understanding, patience, and everything he could want. They knew his time was limited, and so they did as much as they could for him in those 15 yrs.
My sadness comes from missing him in the physical. Not being able to see him, talk to him, and rough up his hair as I walk by him....
I know deep in my heart that Drew WAS an :angel: here on earth, and now his is an :angel: with God's grace in heaven.
Hugs,
Sid
Dear Sid:
We are all :angel: 's but in saying that there are positive and negative ones.
We enrich our lives when we meet with the positive ones and the negative ones seem to "take" from our existence, hence the "wishing that they would go back from whence they came."
What you have now are the positive angels (Drew) existence etched in your memory forever, which, my dear, is the highest compliment that a positive angel can receive.
It is in his positivity that you bring new life to Drew.
I know that you are not one for "digging deep" and fully respect that but if you search that special place, you will then realize that you can "feel" with your mind.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
PS- Me "bumping up" this thread was no mere coincidence.