stick2013
06-07-2007, 07:28 PM
If I am wrong please correct me. I think that your PTSD was caused from sexual crap while in the service???? If that's right, then why not try a crisis center, or rape center, or private therapy??? If $$$ is an issue, they usually have sliding scale fees.
I just don't see the government wanting to help. Don't they deny this kind of stuff to begin with?????
Sid
I just don't see the government wanting to help. Don't they deny this kind of stuff to begin with?????
Sid
Sponsor
Survivor 1957
06-07-2007, 11:49 PM
Sid,
The Military Is Admitting To Sexual Trauma, They Now Have Womens Centers At All The Va Hopitals. It Is Just That Sexual Trauma Is The Quiet War. No One Wants To Talk About It, The Victim Is Victimized All Over Again When They Come Forward,
I Did Not Come Forward When It Happened,. It Was 20 Years Ago And Reared Its Ugly Head 5 Years Ago After A Role Play At Work. (police Dept) Now I Have An Added Problem. I Do Not Want The Work People To Know About The Ptsd. I Am Afaid Of Losing The Job. I Also Cant Go To A Local Therapist And Sit In A Waiting Room With Former Or Future "clients". I Am Between A Rock And A Hard Place. That Is Why I Have To Drive So Far To Get Help. I Also Am Still Working On Being Able To Discuss This Issue. Thanks For Being Here
K
The Military Is Admitting To Sexual Trauma, They Now Have Womens Centers At All The Va Hopitals. It Is Just That Sexual Trauma Is The Quiet War. No One Wants To Talk About It, The Victim Is Victimized All Over Again When They Come Forward,
I Did Not Come Forward When It Happened,. It Was 20 Years Ago And Reared Its Ugly Head 5 Years Ago After A Role Play At Work. (police Dept) Now I Have An Added Problem. I Do Not Want The Work People To Know About The Ptsd. I Am Afaid Of Losing The Job. I Also Cant Go To A Local Therapist And Sit In A Waiting Room With Former Or Future "clients". I Am Between A Rock And A Hard Place. That Is Why I Have To Drive So Far To Get Help. I Also Am Still Working On Being Able To Discuss This Issue. Thanks For Being Here
K
stick2013
06-08-2007, 05:58 AM
K,
Thank for responding and setting things straight. I do understand the problems that you are facing, but.....Yes with me there is always the BUT!!!!!
When I was finally DX'ed with PTSD after a lifetime of CRAZY behavior, the shrink at the hospital told me that part of my healing was to accept it, and acknowledge it. I had to call all of my friends, and people that I worked for and explain to them what I did (attempted suicide) and that I had PTSD.
I will use one of Sannah's favorite words...Shame...Is this part of why you are afraid to let people know? I guess I can understand why you don't want your work place to know, but you DO have the right to seek therapy for ANY reason. Work doesn't have to know the exact reason WHY!!!!! So that would allow you to sit in a waiting room of any therapist...
I would NEVER subject myself to ANYONE that made me feel or victimized me all over again for what had happened. I wouldn't go back to the VA......
T......try and remember the next time that a flashback starts...It can't hurt you, you are safe, and it's only the EMOTIONS to a past trauma. Carry somthing with you at all times for touching, and something that you can smell to keep you in the here and now...
Keep posting, keep coming back....all of us will help you get through this..
Sid
Thank for responding and setting things straight. I do understand the problems that you are facing, but.....Yes with me there is always the BUT!!!!!
When I was finally DX'ed with PTSD after a lifetime of CRAZY behavior, the shrink at the hospital told me that part of my healing was to accept it, and acknowledge it. I had to call all of my friends, and people that I worked for and explain to them what I did (attempted suicide) and that I had PTSD.
I will use one of Sannah's favorite words...Shame...Is this part of why you are afraid to let people know? I guess I can understand why you don't want your work place to know, but you DO have the right to seek therapy for ANY reason. Work doesn't have to know the exact reason WHY!!!!! So that would allow you to sit in a waiting room of any therapist...
I would NEVER subject myself to ANYONE that made me feel or victimized me all over again for what had happened. I wouldn't go back to the VA......
T......try and remember the next time that a flashback starts...It can't hurt you, you are safe, and it's only the EMOTIONS to a past trauma. Carry somthing with you at all times for touching, and something that you can smell to keep you in the here and now...
Keep posting, keep coming back....all of us will help you get through this..
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-08-2007, 07:29 AM
Sid,
I Hear What You Say About Telling Friends And Family. I Have Told 2 Friends And That Is It. I Kind Of Had To, They Were So Dam Worried Last Year, They Are Very Supportive, But They Still Do Not Quite Know What Ptsd Is. I Will Never Tell The Fam. They Would Not Let Me Breath If I Did. The Ptsd Has Me To The Point Of Only Being Able To Handle Them In Small Doses. I Am Going To See A Terapist About 50 Miles From Where I Live Next Week. She Is A Womens Therapist For Military Trauma, I Have Seen Her In The Past, I Stopped When I Thought I Was Cured, Hahahah. Thaks For The Kind Words
K
I Hear What You Say About Telling Friends And Family. I Have Told 2 Friends And That Is It. I Kind Of Had To, They Were So Dam Worried Last Year, They Are Very Supportive, But They Still Do Not Quite Know What Ptsd Is. I Will Never Tell The Fam. They Would Not Let Me Breath If I Did. The Ptsd Has Me To The Point Of Only Being Able To Handle Them In Small Doses. I Am Going To See A Terapist About 50 Miles From Where I Live Next Week. She Is A Womens Therapist For Military Trauma, I Have Seen Her In The Past, I Stopped When I Thought I Was Cured, Hahahah. Thaks For The Kind Words
K
ICC
06-08-2007, 08:01 AM
Hi Survivor........... We all handle tellin gpeopl ewe have PTSD differently. Some need to tell everyone adn some only need to tell a few people they are close to. Even a fewpeople give you the support you need. I asked my family and the other 2 I told to read up on the disorder. I also explained the best i could what caused it, what happens when I'm triggered and the many different things that will cause a flare up. Told them what to look out for. I dissociate so I needed them to understand that. The 5 people that know have been wonderful and supportive when I have a flare up. Along with my counselor and the wonderful people here I have been coping much better that a year ago. Stopped therapy for a few months because I also thought I was "cured" WRONG!!! Injured 5 body parts at work and between that and all the stress trying to et proper medical treatment for so many body parts, I totally fell apart. Had a breakdown. It took me months to get it back under control. Wishing you the best in therapy.
Grasshopper
Grasshopper
stick2013
06-08-2007, 03:18 PM
K,
As ICC said ANYTHING can set off the BEAST.....It can rear it's ugly head on a dime. I just think that it's being well informed, learning triggers, coping skills, grounding skills, and learning how to calm yourself down that is vital to HOW LONG it will keep it's head reared.
I had to face on of my biggest fears, and triggers earlier this week, with the death of a child I have known for 10 years. I have a fear of the dead, and dead bodies. Part of my PTSD...... I don't know if I am over this trigger completely, but I managed. It was horrible before hand. I was a complete lunatic. Hyperventelating, crying, couldn't focus, panic, anxiety, and basically just losing my mind.
A little history. When he was sick or in the hospital I would leave a $20 bill on his pillow with a silly note. I just wanted him to smile, and know that I loved, and cared about him.
My turning point was while I was on the phone with a friend, and was crying. I said that the sadest thing was that I could never slip him another $20. I knew then that I HAD to FACE my fear and what I HAD to do.
I did slip him a $20. His father helped me place a $20 in his pocket. I touched him, and rubbed his head. I cried, but wasn't afraid. There was peace.
So it has reared it's ugly head for about a week now. I am better. Almost back to my mean old self. The depression just has to lift a little more, and I will be me again. Whoever that is!!!!!:D
Sid
As ICC said ANYTHING can set off the BEAST.....It can rear it's ugly head on a dime. I just think that it's being well informed, learning triggers, coping skills, grounding skills, and learning how to calm yourself down that is vital to HOW LONG it will keep it's head reared.
I had to face on of my biggest fears, and triggers earlier this week, with the death of a child I have known for 10 years. I have a fear of the dead, and dead bodies. Part of my PTSD...... I don't know if I am over this trigger completely, but I managed. It was horrible before hand. I was a complete lunatic. Hyperventelating, crying, couldn't focus, panic, anxiety, and basically just losing my mind.
A little history. When he was sick or in the hospital I would leave a $20 bill on his pillow with a silly note. I just wanted him to smile, and know that I loved, and cared about him.
My turning point was while I was on the phone with a friend, and was crying. I said that the sadest thing was that I could never slip him another $20. I knew then that I HAD to FACE my fear and what I HAD to do.
I did slip him a $20. His father helped me place a $20 in his pocket. I touched him, and rubbed his head. I cried, but wasn't afraid. There was peace.
So it has reared it's ugly head for about a week now. I am better. Almost back to my mean old self. The depression just has to lift a little more, and I will be me again. Whoever that is!!!!!:D
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-08-2007, 06:00 PM
Sid,
I am very sorry for your loss. Death is a very hard thing to deal with even if you do not have PTSD. Hang in there.
I know some of my triggers to the wold of hell. This last one I just cant figure out. This was the worst ever and the depression after has lasted so very long. when i went to the hospital yeaterday to get id cards and set up an appointment or go to the walk in , I had such a painic attack. I bolted out of the hospital so dam fast. I did not want anyone eles to ask me what was wrong. All the people looking at me and I guess the pranoia came out. I could not leave, i sat out in front of the hospital and tried to calm down for over 1 1/2 hours. my breathing was a mess and i oculd not stop crying. yesterday and last night just sucked!
I go to work and put on my game face and then have to go to family obligations (cant tell the grand kids NANA is not coming), When I finally call it a day I am so tire of the act. I physically am exhausted! Sleep eludes me and that just adds to the stress.
I guess I am just afraid to fall asleep and wake up screaming again. Last night I did take some meds so I would fall asleep. Now today I feel like a zombie.
I see my p/c doc in 2 weeks so hopefully I will have the courage to tell him what has been going on with my mental status. The telling is the hard thing. On this forum I don't feel ashamed.
K
I am very sorry for your loss. Death is a very hard thing to deal with even if you do not have PTSD. Hang in there.
I know some of my triggers to the wold of hell. This last one I just cant figure out. This was the worst ever and the depression after has lasted so very long. when i went to the hospital yeaterday to get id cards and set up an appointment or go to the walk in , I had such a painic attack. I bolted out of the hospital so dam fast. I did not want anyone eles to ask me what was wrong. All the people looking at me and I guess the pranoia came out. I could not leave, i sat out in front of the hospital and tried to calm down for over 1 1/2 hours. my breathing was a mess and i oculd not stop crying. yesterday and last night just sucked!
I go to work and put on my game face and then have to go to family obligations (cant tell the grand kids NANA is not coming), When I finally call it a day I am so tire of the act. I physically am exhausted! Sleep eludes me and that just adds to the stress.
I guess I am just afraid to fall asleep and wake up screaming again. Last night I did take some meds so I would fall asleep. Now today I feel like a zombie.
I see my p/c doc in 2 weeks so hopefully I will have the courage to tell him what has been going on with my mental status. The telling is the hard thing. On this forum I don't feel ashamed.
K
stick2013
06-08-2007, 07:02 PM
K,
Ok, so you had a panic attack....Have you tried to think back to exactly what you were thinking when it hit? What was going on around you??? Any peculiar smells?? Did the place remind you of something??? Anyone look like someone from the past???? There has to be something that set it off, you just have to dig deep enough to figure it out. What do you do when a painc attacks hits?? How do you come down from it???
Well I guess you have your homework for the weekend.:jester: Sorry, you don't need to answer these questions to me or anyone, just questions to ask yourself to try and figure things out.
I hate panic attacks, I feel as though my heart is going a 1000 beats per minute, and the world is moving in slow motion, on an angle. Hate them.....
On a lighter note... Enjoy your grandkids.....:) I haven't seen mine in 4 yrs. My daughter and I had an arguement, both said some nasty things, and have had no contact since. Sucks big time. My oldest grandson is now 16, and his brother is 14. I miss them both so darn much.....Maybe someday....
Have a great weekend.
Sid
Ok, so you had a panic attack....Have you tried to think back to exactly what you were thinking when it hit? What was going on around you??? Any peculiar smells?? Did the place remind you of something??? Anyone look like someone from the past???? There has to be something that set it off, you just have to dig deep enough to figure it out. What do you do when a painc attacks hits?? How do you come down from it???
Well I guess you have your homework for the weekend.:jester: Sorry, you don't need to answer these questions to me or anyone, just questions to ask yourself to try and figure things out.
I hate panic attacks, I feel as though my heart is going a 1000 beats per minute, and the world is moving in slow motion, on an angle. Hate them.....
On a lighter note... Enjoy your grandkids.....:) I haven't seen mine in 4 yrs. My daughter and I had an arguement, both said some nasty things, and have had no contact since. Sucks big time. My oldest grandson is now 16, and his brother is 14. I miss them both so darn much.....Maybe someday....
Have a great weekend.
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-08-2007, 11:37 PM
sid,
i am going away for a few days to the mountains. i need a break from "me". i will think about the trigger (home work), i do know what set it off in the hospital. all the stragers looking at me, asking stupid questions and oing from office to office like i was in a maze and could not get out. i could not breath. i had to get out fast. thenightmare i have no clue. wish i did but i dont. i will ck in in a few days,. thanks for being there.
k
i am going away for a few days to the mountains. i need a break from "me". i will think about the trigger (home work), i do know what set it off in the hospital. all the stragers looking at me, asking stupid questions and oing from office to office like i was in a maze and could not get out. i could not breath. i had to get out fast. thenightmare i have no clue. wish i did but i dont. i will ck in in a few days,. thanks for being there.
k
stick2013
06-09-2007, 05:41 AM
K,
Hope that you have a relaxing, and PTSD free weekend...
Sid
Hope that you have a relaxing, and PTSD free weekend...
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-10-2007, 10:19 PM
Hi Sid,
I am back from 2 days with the family. I have to say I am so dam tired. It is such a strain not be angry. I try and try to keep my mouth shut so I do not piss anyone off and I end up going to the store for a forgotten item or offer to take the dogs for walks so I get out of the house.
I feel like a jerk not being able to join in on family conversations with out getting angry. Hell it was my grand sons 2 ND birthday and I did not want to be the weird grandma. So I elected to do the out side things so I could breath, and not get into to many conversations with the fam. one on one with the kids I have no issues. In fact I find myself loveing it. Put an adult in the scene and I tighten right up. I want to leave the area and not deal with the intrusion.I do fine when its small groups of people (2-3) any more I freak.
No flash backs but very little sleep. I so want to be normal and be able to sit in a group and talk with out feeling angry. But what is normal ?
k
I am back from 2 days with the family. I have to say I am so dam tired. It is such a strain not be angry. I try and try to keep my mouth shut so I do not piss anyone off and I end up going to the store for a forgotten item or offer to take the dogs for walks so I get out of the house.
I feel like a jerk not being able to join in on family conversations with out getting angry. Hell it was my grand sons 2 ND birthday and I did not want to be the weird grandma. So I elected to do the out side things so I could breath, and not get into to many conversations with the fam. one on one with the kids I have no issues. In fact I find myself loveing it. Put an adult in the scene and I tighten right up. I want to leave the area and not deal with the intrusion.I do fine when its small groups of people (2-3) any more I freak.
No flash backs but very little sleep. I so want to be normal and be able to sit in a group and talk with out feeling angry. But what is normal ?
k
stick2013
06-10-2007, 10:51 PM
K,
Glad that you SURVIVED the weekend. Kids are great, they have only demands for small things, which include food, hugs, ice cream, hugs, playing, and ice cream....
So what are you so angry about??? Do you know, or haven't you figured it out yet?
I tend to like being alone, but the more I talk to people on this board it seem to be quite the norm. Only a few close friends, don't go out much, I guess it's the trust issue for a lot of us. I tend to trust people right off the bat, but screw me ONCE and your done.....You won't get a second chance. I know a lot of people that I am friendly with, but VERY few close friends.
What is normal? hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm I would say in my opinion. Whatever feels good to you, without intentionally hurting other people. Do what you can, and what you want, and what you are comfortable with. That's how I live my life now. At least it works for me.
Sid
Glad that you SURVIVED the weekend. Kids are great, they have only demands for small things, which include food, hugs, ice cream, hugs, playing, and ice cream....
So what are you so angry about??? Do you know, or haven't you figured it out yet?
I tend to like being alone, but the more I talk to people on this board it seem to be quite the norm. Only a few close friends, don't go out much, I guess it's the trust issue for a lot of us. I tend to trust people right off the bat, but screw me ONCE and your done.....You won't get a second chance. I know a lot of people that I am friendly with, but VERY few close friends.
What is normal? hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm I would say in my opinion. Whatever feels good to you, without intentionally hurting other people. Do what you can, and what you want, and what you are comfortable with. That's how I live my life now. At least it works for me.
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-11-2007, 07:34 AM
sid,
why am i angry? Well that is the question of the year. I can't get a hold on that yet. After so many years you would think I could reach deep and carry on with out the rage. I can't. I have to escape the area I am in or I get into conversations that weird people out. Once I get started it builds and builds,. I know it is happening but I cant rien it in. I do not like the rage! I know it makes people uncomfortable,. I have 3 close friends that i trust and that is it. I do not let people get very close.
k
k
why am i angry? Well that is the question of the year. I can't get a hold on that yet. After so many years you would think I could reach deep and carry on with out the rage. I can't. I have to escape the area I am in or I get into conversations that weird people out. Once I get started it builds and builds,. I know it is happening but I cant rien it in. I do not like the rage! I know it makes people uncomfortable,. I have 3 close friends that i trust and that is it. I do not let people get very close.
k
k
ICC
06-11-2007, 07:42 AM
Hi Survivin :) I too prefer the company of my grandchildren. They are innocent, fun, and we have a blast together. The are 4 1/2 and 7. As Sid said alot of us don't like crowds. I am living my life how it is comfortable for me. No longer worrying constantly about who will say what and set me off, hurt me, make me feel out of sorts. I have started to go with the flow. I socialize but have very few people I would share my deepest feelings with. I try to keep things neutral when around alot of people. Also I have become very good at boundaries. Hubby and I have a few aquaintances ( all couples) and I am not very fond of any of them. Very judgemental, always right and always have to tell people what they think of them. I put up with this for years. Only the good Lord knows what makes them tick and who they think they are. A couple of months back I was at an affair with them and the one wife tells everyone off and what she thinks of them. I used to walk away. Not this time. She was going off on me about something I hadn't done. Being her typical judgemental self and assuming whatever she wanted. right or wrong. I stood my ground instead of walking away and told her exactly what I thought of what she was saying to me. How wrong she was. She took a step back in shock that someone had the nerve to speak up to her, apolgized for her worng. Since then when I see her I say "Hello" and keep going. She is not the kind of person I choose to be friends with BUT until I told her what I thought of her attitude she would have continued to badger me with her opinions. I am trying to learn to do this in al situations that are around people that LIKE confrontations. I don't need this everytime I'm in a social environment so the boundaries are set and I'm sticking to them. Make it so much easier for me to socaialize without that constant fear that I will say or do the wrong thing and be told. No one is perfect but I don't go thorugh life shoving my opinions down anyone's throat and don't want it done to me.
JMO
Grasshopper
JMO
Grasshopper
stick2013
06-11-2007, 09:44 AM
Dear K,
Ok, this is going to sound a lot like a lecture....Sorry I am really trying to help...One of the ONLY things that can keep you from NOT moving forward and getting healthy....ANGER!!!!!
Anger festers, it builds, it boils over, it keeps us in the victim mode. It grabs a hold of ALL of our feelings and puts a strangle hold on them. It overpowers all of our other emotions...
History. I had attempted suicide, was sectioned, and placed in "The Ward" There were several therapist, and shrinks that I worked with. When it came time to be released, Phil (head of the ward) suggested that Don be my therapist, because he had trained in PTSD treatment. Phil talked to Don, and Don came to me, and POINT BLANK FLAT OUT REFUSED to work with me. He said that he had NEVER in his years of therapy seen such an angry person, and would not have me in his office.
I worked with Phil in his group every week for rape survivors, as my therapy. After several months, Phil came up to me after a meeting and said that Don wanted to see me. I saw him and he said that he and Phil had been talking, and that Phil felt my ANGER issue had subsided. Don took me on as a client, with an agreement that if my anger issue ever came through in his office, HE was DONE helping me. It took me 2 years of very intensive therapy, but I graduated with high honors, and did learn that anger is a huge issue with us....
So weather the anger is focused at your abusers, or at you....You need to deal with it or you can not over come this....Dig deep, and find out the cause of your anger, and find a way to either honor it, or validate it, or kill it, but you need to deal with it......
Hugs,
Sid
Ok, this is going to sound a lot like a lecture....Sorry I am really trying to help...One of the ONLY things that can keep you from NOT moving forward and getting healthy....ANGER!!!!!
Anger festers, it builds, it boils over, it keeps us in the victim mode. It grabs a hold of ALL of our feelings and puts a strangle hold on them. It overpowers all of our other emotions...
History. I had attempted suicide, was sectioned, and placed in "The Ward" There were several therapist, and shrinks that I worked with. When it came time to be released, Phil (head of the ward) suggested that Don be my therapist, because he had trained in PTSD treatment. Phil talked to Don, and Don came to me, and POINT BLANK FLAT OUT REFUSED to work with me. He said that he had NEVER in his years of therapy seen such an angry person, and would not have me in his office.
I worked with Phil in his group every week for rape survivors, as my therapy. After several months, Phil came up to me after a meeting and said that Don wanted to see me. I saw him and he said that he and Phil had been talking, and that Phil felt my ANGER issue had subsided. Don took me on as a client, with an agreement that if my anger issue ever came through in his office, HE was DONE helping me. It took me 2 years of very intensive therapy, but I graduated with high honors, and did learn that anger is a huge issue with us....
So weather the anger is focused at your abusers, or at you....You need to deal with it or you can not over come this....Dig deep, and find out the cause of your anger, and find a way to either honor it, or validate it, or kill it, but you need to deal with it......
Hugs,
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-11-2007, 12:48 PM
sid,
i am home on break from work, 30 mins of relief from the bs, i have chest pains and feel angry, do not worry it is not the heart, (friend ck me out befor l left work) just stress, I guess the trip with the fam did it trick on me. I am just holking on till wed till I see the terapist....god I hate this.
k
i am home on break from work, 30 mins of relief from the bs, i have chest pains and feel angry, do not worry it is not the heart, (friend ck me out befor l left work) just stress, I guess the trip with the fam did it trick on me. I am just holking on till wed till I see the terapist....god I hate this.
k
Survivor 1957
06-11-2007, 12:49 PM
sid,
i am home on break from work, 30 mins of relief from the bs, i have chest pains and feel angry, do not worry it is not the heart, (emt friend ck me out befor l left work) just stress, I guess the trip with the fam did its trick on me. I am just holding on till wed till I see the therapist....god I hate this.
k
i am home on break from work, 30 mins of relief from the bs, i have chest pains and feel angry, do not worry it is not the heart, (emt friend ck me out befor l left work) just stress, I guess the trip with the fam did its trick on me. I am just holding on till wed till I see the therapist....god I hate this.
k
stick2013
06-11-2007, 05:04 PM
Hi K,
So Ok, the panic is a little overwhelming right now. I think it's because you are suppressing stuff that is TRYING to come out to the surface and you don't want it to. Have you thought about the anger issue that I talked about??? K, If you don't deal with the issue of the anger YOU WILL EXPLODE and YOU will LOSE....You are getting close to that now, and I think that you know it too....
Stress can have the effect with the heart. Feels like a Heart Attack, but really isn't. I just went through that I think about 2 months ago. Went to the DR with chest pain, he did an emergency EKG. Came back abnormal, had to go and have a stress test. I was fine....STRESS!!!!! ME???? No way Nope nada....Life is stress when you don't have coping skills. Somethings I deal very well with and others well NOT SO MUCH!!!! I admit it. I'm human.
So lets work on the anger stuff OK?????? ICC also has a wonderful insight to things that I tend to oversee, so she will be TONS of help too... JUST ASK for the help OK????
Hugs,
Sid
So Ok, the panic is a little overwhelming right now. I think it's because you are suppressing stuff that is TRYING to come out to the surface and you don't want it to. Have you thought about the anger issue that I talked about??? K, If you don't deal with the issue of the anger YOU WILL EXPLODE and YOU will LOSE....You are getting close to that now, and I think that you know it too....
Stress can have the effect with the heart. Feels like a Heart Attack, but really isn't. I just went through that I think about 2 months ago. Went to the DR with chest pain, he did an emergency EKG. Came back abnormal, had to go and have a stress test. I was fine....STRESS!!!!! ME???? No way Nope nada....Life is stress when you don't have coping skills. Somethings I deal very well with and others well NOT SO MUCH!!!! I admit it. I'm human.
So lets work on the anger stuff OK?????? ICC also has a wonderful insight to things that I tend to oversee, so she will be TONS of help too... JUST ASK for the help OK????
Hugs,
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-11-2007, 08:48 PM
sid,
Thanks for the bat over the head, after I posted the last reply I went back to work and ended up going by rescue to the hospital, the chest pains got real bad and I started to sweat and my arms went numb. Needless to say I felt like I was gooing to die.
It is not a heart attack, it is stress! I know I have to deal with the anger and the other crap, I am going for help it is just a few more days till I see my therapist. I just need to hang on a few more days. i really am glad you are all hear to tak to, I believe I would lose it if not for this outlet.
I think I know what triggered the problem today, contact negoiations and other work issues. I have been trying to reduse my stress level whit Union stuff because I can]t deal with it right now. I had to review a contract issue and it just to much .
So the hospital sent me home with Busparto make me relas, so we will see how it goes.
k
Thanks for the bat over the head, after I posted the last reply I went back to work and ended up going by rescue to the hospital, the chest pains got real bad and I started to sweat and my arms went numb. Needless to say I felt like I was gooing to die.
It is not a heart attack, it is stress! I know I have to deal with the anger and the other crap, I am going for help it is just a few more days till I see my therapist. I just need to hang on a few more days. i really am glad you are all hear to tak to, I believe I would lose it if not for this outlet.
I think I know what triggered the problem today, contact negoiations and other work issues. I have been trying to reduse my stress level whit Union stuff because I can]t deal with it right now. I had to review a contract issue and it just to much .
So the hospital sent me home with Busparto make me relas, so we will see how it goes.
k
Survivor 1957
06-11-2007, 08:50 PM
sid,
Thanks for the bat over the head, after I posted the last reply I went back to work and ended up going by rescue to the hospital, the chest pains got real bad and I started to sweat and my arms went numb. Needless to say I felt like I was going to die.
It is not a heart attack, it is stress! I know I have to deal with the anger and the other crap, I am going for help it is just a few more days till I see my therapist. I just need to hang on a few more days. I really am glad you are all hear to talk to, I believe I would lose it if not for this outlet.
I think I know what triggered the problem today, contact negoiations and other work issues. I have been trying to reduse my stress level wiht Union stuff because I cant deal with it right now. I had to review a contract issue and it just to much .
So the hospital sent me home with Buspar to make me relax, so we will see how it goes.
k
Thanks for the bat over the head, after I posted the last reply I went back to work and ended up going by rescue to the hospital, the chest pains got real bad and I started to sweat and my arms went numb. Needless to say I felt like I was going to die.
It is not a heart attack, it is stress! I know I have to deal with the anger and the other crap, I am going for help it is just a few more days till I see my therapist. I just need to hang on a few more days. I really am glad you are all hear to talk to, I believe I would lose it if not for this outlet.
I think I know what triggered the problem today, contact negoiations and other work issues. I have been trying to reduse my stress level wiht Union stuff because I cant deal with it right now. I had to review a contract issue and it just to much .
So the hospital sent me home with Buspar to make me relax, so we will see how it goes.
k
stick2013
06-11-2007, 08:51 PM
K,
I didn't even hit you with my bat yet.....LOL Wait though your day is coming.....
Ok so you NEED to deal with the anger. Do you know who or what you are angry with????
I didn't even hit you with my bat yet.....LOL Wait though your day is coming.....
Ok so you NEED to deal with the anger. Do you know who or what you are angry with????
Survivor 1957
06-11-2007, 08:58 PM
who and what, ....wow that is not easy, angry at myself for what happend to the 20 year old girl i lost, angry at the man that took her, angry at myself for not fighting harder. angry at the way i had to live while i raised my sons myself with out help. angry at my not being able to trust any one to get close to me. angry at the military for not helping me when i was in need so many years ago. angy at the men i work with every day that do not know why i am angry.....i could go on, where do i start, or stop ?When will it stop hurting, when will i ever trust again?
sorry sid, but you asked
k
sorry sid, but you asked
k
stick2013
06-11-2007, 09:06 PM
K,
It's ok... We need to take one thing at a time here. First of all YOU WERE THE VICTIM......We do not ask for this, or want it so you need to let go of that anger for you....YOU WERE MOLESTED or RAPED... NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! Got it???????
2) yes you are right in having anger at the man that did this. But how long do you keep the anger brewing. ICC has a wonderful thing that she shares... Write a letter to your abuse.. Tell the SOB EVERYTHING that you have ever wanted to say to him. Call him every vulgar name that you can think of. Tell him what he did to you then, how it hurt you, and how it has effected your life from that day till now. Then BURN the letter, and ask god for help to let go of the anger....
Do you think you can do this???
It's ok... We need to take one thing at a time here. First of all YOU WERE THE VICTIM......We do not ask for this, or want it so you need to let go of that anger for you....YOU WERE MOLESTED or RAPED... NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! Got it???????
2) yes you are right in having anger at the man that did this. But how long do you keep the anger brewing. ICC has a wonderful thing that she shares... Write a letter to your abuse.. Tell the SOB EVERYTHING that you have ever wanted to say to him. Call him every vulgar name that you can think of. Tell him what he did to you then, how it hurt you, and how it has effected your life from that day till now. Then BURN the letter, and ask god for help to let go of the anger....
Do you think you can do this???
Survivor 1957
06-11-2007, 09:23 PM
sid,
I have written the letter, i did not burn it but shreddded it ,. helped for a while. Then more of the crap I blocked came out. it was 9 years of hell, he was my Husband, the fater of my kids,,,, yea I know it is not my fault.. but..
i just got a call from my sons, so very u set i did not call them about the trip to the hospital.... I was going to call them when I got home. Well a dogooder at work called them. they both asked me why am I stressed, you seem so happy all the time. I tell you I deserve an oscar for the acting job.
I had to rasure them I was fine,,haha I do not want them to know what an evil person their father is,. They know he is an a/h, but they do not ever need to know about the secret crap in my life.
k
I have written the letter, i did not burn it but shreddded it ,. helped for a while. Then more of the crap I blocked came out. it was 9 years of hell, he was my Husband, the fater of my kids,,,, yea I know it is not my fault.. but..
i just got a call from my sons, so very u set i did not call them about the trip to the hospital.... I was going to call them when I got home. Well a dogooder at work called them. they both asked me why am I stressed, you seem so happy all the time. I tell you I deserve an oscar for the acting job.
I had to rasure them I was fine,,haha I do not want them to know what an evil person their father is,. They know he is an a/h, but they do not ever need to know about the secret crap in my life.
k
stick2013
06-11-2007, 09:25 PM
I understand you not wanting to tell them about the hospital and their father, but don't you think they have the RIGHT to know and make their own decisions?????
Survivor 1957
06-11-2007, 09:40 PM
they have made their minds up about him on their own, they do not communicate with him at all any more. He lives far away and i really do not see the benifit in them knowing what a monster he is. i also do not believe I could tell them. i have told a friend of mine (and he has agreed) that if anything happens to me that he is to come to my house destroy my va records so my sons do not find out. I cant imagine knowing what happened would make thier lives any better,i do know it could make them have to deal with crap they do not need to. Some times you do not need to share.
always the MOM.
k
always the MOM.
k
stick2013
06-11-2007, 09:48 PM
Ok, so now that you have made that choice......You need to find a way K to deal with the anger. Do you agree that you are about to BLOW because of the anger, and it is getting out of hand??? Do you think it's the source of your stress?????
Survivor 1957
06-11-2007, 10:47 PM
sid,
iknow i am ready to blow, i am hanging on by a thread, i know my crap is all out there for all to see now that i went to the hospital by rescue from work. I know the Cheif will be asking questions in the morning and i do not know what to do about it. I really do not want it known that i have PTSD. My career is on the block. I know I need to change geers that the job I have triggers a lot of my problems. But I need my retirement. And this all just adds to the stress!
k
iknow i am ready to blow, i am hanging on by a thread, i know my crap is all out there for all to see now that i went to the hospital by rescue from work. I know the Cheif will be asking questions in the morning and i do not know what to do about it. I really do not want it known that i have PTSD. My career is on the block. I know I need to change geers that the job I have triggers a lot of my problems. But I need my retirement. And this all just adds to the stress!
k
stick2013
06-12-2007, 07:35 AM
K,
I hope that you at least got some sleep last night. Sleep will help with clearer thoughts. Yes you are under stress, and I understand your problem, so how are you going to deal with your issues today????? Have you come up with any answers for the questions the chief may have???
Sid
I hope that you at least got some sleep last night. Sleep will help with clearer thoughts. Yes you are under stress, and I understand your problem, so how are you going to deal with your issues today????? Have you come up with any answers for the questions the chief may have???
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-12-2007, 07:03 PM
sid,
the Cheif did not ask anything but am I ok. It was leagle that asked the questions. Workmans comp came ito it cause i was at work when they took me away by rescue. Then I had to follow up with my primy care dr and when they found out it was related to worker comp they would not see me.. That was real good for the chest pains,. I had to go to another office 3 miles away, talk to a strager about my issues. Funny thing was, it was easier to talk to her then any one as of yet....once I found out that what I said to her would not leave the room I unloaded. All she said was now what do I want to do?.I go back to se her on tuesday sooner if needed..... i am ok for the moment, and I know one of these days I will have to let the department know but not today.
k
the Cheif did not ask anything but am I ok. It was leagle that asked the questions. Workmans comp came ito it cause i was at work when they took me away by rescue. Then I had to follow up with my primy care dr and when they found out it was related to worker comp they would not see me.. That was real good for the chest pains,. I had to go to another office 3 miles away, talk to a strager about my issues. Funny thing was, it was easier to talk to her then any one as of yet....once I found out that what I said to her would not leave the room I unloaded. All she said was now what do I want to do?.I go back to se her on tuesday sooner if needed..... i am ok for the moment, and I know one of these days I will have to let the department know but not today.
k
stick2013
06-12-2007, 07:09 PM
K,
WOW..... I am glad that you unloaded.....You must feel so much better....GREAT JOB!!!!!
Sid
WOW..... I am glad that you unloaded.....You must feel so much better....GREAT JOB!!!!!
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-12-2007, 07:16 PM
thanks sid
i just now would lie to get some sleep, only 4 hours loast night after all the er crap, meds do not let me sleep yet, i will give it a try. I have never liked meds but at this pint i know i need to destress befor i really do have a heart attack.
k
i just now would lie to get some sleep, only 4 hours loast night after all the er crap, meds do not let me sleep yet, i will give it a try. I have never liked meds but at this pint i know i need to destress befor i really do have a heart attack.
k
stick2013
06-12-2007, 07:20 PM
K,
Have you ever tried over the counter sleeping aids??? I would give them a try at least. Being deprived of sleep will really unbalance an already stressed mind and body......
How about a relaxing bath, with bubbles, candles, music, lights down low and just soak till you are relaxed. That's ICC's and my way of de-stressing after a rough time...
Sid
Have you ever tried over the counter sleeping aids??? I would give them a try at least. Being deprived of sleep will really unbalance an already stressed mind and body......
How about a relaxing bath, with bubbles, candles, music, lights down low and just soak till you are relaxed. That's ICC's and my way of de-stressing after a rough time...
Sid
stick2013
06-13-2007, 07:43 AM
K,
Hope that you got some well deserved sleep. I also hope that you day today is much better...
Sid
Hope that you got some well deserved sleep. I also hope that you day today is much better...
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-14-2007, 07:27 AM
sid, its been a hard few days, ,,hospital, follow up and then to the Theraist. i tired of being messed up. i just do not want htis any more. I want to be healthy. My walls are caving in and i do not wnat my "stuff" out there for all to see or know about. yea i am working on it, but god it wears me out.
k
k
stick2013
06-14-2007, 07:44 AM
K,
Therapy is one of the hardest thi9ngs that we have to do. It's admitting that we have problems, and then we have to turn our entire world upside down to turn our lives around.
It took years of screwed up coping to get to this point, and now we have to UN SCREW our way of coping. Yes, it's hard, exposing, and tiresome, but it's also the only way to get healthy. You have to go through it, to get by it.
I'm sorry that you are going through this, but you can do it. You're tough and a survivor. I will be here for encouragement, and a few hits with my bat if you need...:D
Hang in there.....
Warm hugs,
Sid
Therapy is one of the hardest thi9ngs that we have to do. It's admitting that we have problems, and then we have to turn our entire world upside down to turn our lives around.
It took years of screwed up coping to get to this point, and now we have to UN SCREW our way of coping. Yes, it's hard, exposing, and tiresome, but it's also the only way to get healthy. You have to go through it, to get by it.
I'm sorry that you are going through this, but you can do it. You're tough and a survivor. I will be here for encouragement, and a few hits with my bat if you need...:D
Hang in there.....
Warm hugs,
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-14-2007, 01:10 PM
hi, i resigned as Union Steward today and hated doing so on one hand but knew i had to. I know i need to get rid of some of the unneeded stress factors. Its just hard, thanks for the kind words sid
k
k
Phoenix
06-14-2007, 01:42 PM
Dear Survivor:
I just had to "chime in" and let you know that there are others out there that are pulling for you also.
Hang in there........ there is light at the end of the tunnel.
No response needed; just wanted to let you know.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
I just had to "chime in" and let you know that there are others out there that are pulling for you also.
Hang in there........ there is light at the end of the tunnel.
No response needed; just wanted to let you know.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
stick2013
06-14-2007, 05:37 PM
K,
I am sorry that you had to give up probably what you liked doing......Union Steward! BUT!!!! I know always the BUT with me....You really do need to take care of YOU first. YOU come first before anything else. I had to learn this the hard way.... It's a tough one to learn. Hell all the lessons are hard to learn. You made a wise choice in doing this.....
I hope that your night is better than your day has been....:wave:
Sid
I am sorry that you had to give up probably what you liked doing......Union Steward! BUT!!!! I know always the BUT with me....You really do need to take care of YOU first. YOU come first before anything else. I had to learn this the hard way.... It's a tough one to learn. Hell all the lessons are hard to learn. You made a wise choice in doing this.....
I hope that your night is better than your day has been....:wave:
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-14-2007, 07:03 PM
thanks for the kind words,
I never have felt broken before. The trauma from years ago was blocked and now its out and I feel like some how it has one. All the years I thought I was in control and doing fine and then one day I lose it. It is hard to admit that I am not invinceable. ;-) I have always been teh one someone goes to when they have a problem and now I have to ask for help and theat is the hardest thing I have ever done. My therapist is now asking me if I am ready to retire. I am only 50 , I am not sure I can swing it. I do know I do not believe I will last much longer doing the job I do with out something going wrong.
k
I never have felt broken before. The trauma from years ago was blocked and now its out and I feel like some how it has one. All the years I thought I was in control and doing fine and then one day I lose it. It is hard to admit that I am not invinceable. ;-) I have always been teh one someone goes to when they have a problem and now I have to ask for help and theat is the hardest thing I have ever done. My therapist is now asking me if I am ready to retire. I am only 50 , I am not sure I can swing it. I do know I do not believe I will last much longer doing the job I do with out something going wrong.
k
stick2013
06-15-2007, 06:22 AM
K,
So it's now time for you... We all get to this point. It's time for decisions, and planning. We are NOT weak people remember that. Actually what we have had to endure make us very strong, and competent people in times of great stress. It's after that we tend to fall apart.
I think that if you found a PTSD therapist closer to you, and set up therapy on a bi-weekly or weekly schedule and really worked on your issues, that you would be able to continue your job.
But the key to that is............
A therapist TRAINED in PTSD therapy.
Your willingness to be completely honest and open to that person.
Working your butt off to implement the techniques he or she gives you to help yourself. Changing YOU, and the way that you respond to certain situations.
An understanding up front that it is a second job to get healthy. It takes commitment. Your level of exhaustion will double.
It can be done.....You are strong...
Think about it.
Sid
So it's now time for you... We all get to this point. It's time for decisions, and planning. We are NOT weak people remember that. Actually what we have had to endure make us very strong, and competent people in times of great stress. It's after that we tend to fall apart.
I think that if you found a PTSD therapist closer to you, and set up therapy on a bi-weekly or weekly schedule and really worked on your issues, that you would be able to continue your job.
But the key to that is............
A therapist TRAINED in PTSD therapy.
Your willingness to be completely honest and open to that person.
Working your butt off to implement the techniques he or she gives you to help yourself. Changing YOU, and the way that you respond to certain situations.
An understanding up front that it is a second job to get healthy. It takes commitment. Your level of exhaustion will double.
It can be done.....You are strong...
Think about it.
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-15-2007, 01:57 PM
sid, after all the crap of the last few weeks i made the apointment with the VA docs to see what can be done for me with out going throught workerscomp. I needd to feel safe and need to feel like I am talking to some one who knows about PTSD. I do not need to tell my tale of crap over and over to stangers. The New doc is a female that has been dealing with PTSD clients for awhile and I hear good things about her. The big thing is it is only 20 mins away instead of 60 -80 miles away. Keep your fingers crossed for me I sure do want this to work. I am so confused and out side myself that I need this to work. I just have to hold on till the 29th. I have my local therapist if I start to slide to the dark side. i want to thank this forum for helping me vent and get a little courage to help myself
k
k
ICC
06-15-2007, 03:40 PM
K.....glad it's going to work out for you. In the meantime we're all here for you and you have your present therapist. Please don't go it alone. If you start to feel uncomfortable, scared, alone come here often. prayers are going up for you.
ICC
ICC
stick2013
06-15-2007, 04:30 PM
K,
You have had the courage all along... You just needed a few soft whacks from my bat :jester: to give you the shove that you needed... I am so glad that we could help.... Please come back. Don't stay away to long. We will all be here if you need us.....
I am really glad that things are starting to look up for you.........
Hugs,
Sid and the gang of misfits.....As I so affectionately call us......
You have had the courage all along... You just needed a few soft whacks from my bat :jester: to give you the shove that you needed... I am so glad that we could help.... Please come back. Don't stay away to long. We will all be here if you need us.....
I am really glad that things are starting to look up for you.........
Hugs,
Sid and the gang of misfits.....As I so affectionately call us......
sammy68uk
06-15-2007, 04:31 PM
I'll be thinking of you K... Hang in there... and when it's getting tough to do that, come here.
Mark.
Mark.
Survivor 1957
06-16-2007, 01:13 AM
thanks to all ,
i just got in from work, god only knows why i keep going in.....all the crap , so many domestic's so many mental health issues , so many drunks. i try to stay in the moment, but it is pulling at me so much. I am trying to be professional and all i realy want to do is scream.....this one lady (very drunk) called 14 times saying the same thing over and over,. i hung up on her ! (not suppose to do that) but 14 times was 13 to many. I finnaly had to send an officer to her home to tell her to knock it off....mean while i have to get the 911 calls and the radio traffic and the calls from the locals up set over the parties going on cause school is out.....some times i really hate people. I think I really need ot get away from all this. (and i wonder what triggers my PTSD)
k
i just got in from work, god only knows why i keep going in.....all the crap , so many domestic's so many mental health issues , so many drunks. i try to stay in the moment, but it is pulling at me so much. I am trying to be professional and all i realy want to do is scream.....this one lady (very drunk) called 14 times saying the same thing over and over,. i hung up on her ! (not suppose to do that) but 14 times was 13 to many. I finnaly had to send an officer to her home to tell her to knock it off....mean while i have to get the 911 calls and the radio traffic and the calls from the locals up set over the parties going on cause school is out.....some times i really hate people. I think I really need ot get away from all this. (and i wonder what triggers my PTSD)
k
stick2013
06-16-2007, 08:19 AM
K,
I have a story....Again... Very complicated to keep up, but I will try to sort it out for you....
I got pregnant at 17 I will call the father G
G told me to take a hike.
Had my daughter her name is D
G married N and she already had a son named A
I have one sister that lives on the same street as G & N & A
My sister has 3 sons the youngest is S
A molested, and raped S for years. A is a very screwed up person...
S turned to become a 911 officer, and then a cop. He just missed being chief a few yrs ago.
I pray that he won't fall apart, he has never dealt with his PTSD (which I know he has)
I don't know how S stays sane with his job either, but so far he has managed.
I don't have any contact with ANY member of my family, and I know only that he missed being chief through newspapers.
My point to all of this is.....I don't think that you need to give up your job, I think with tons of work in therapy you can handle the stress of work. What I was reading in your post was anger, and frustration. With PTSD we don't have coping skills, we internalize EVERYTHING, and stress kind of buries itself in our bodies and OUTSTAYS it's welcome.....With work you will learn how to let go of the things that aren't important, how to obtain a semi peace through stressful situations, and how to control your emotions. Reactions to confrontations, reactions to stress, reactions to almost anything derail us, but with work you will learn how to avoid, and deal with this crap.....
I have faith that you can do this... Besides 911 operators are our lifelines and we don't need to lose another one. We need qualified ones. I would call you anytime if I needed to call 911...
Hugs,
Sid
I have a story....Again... Very complicated to keep up, but I will try to sort it out for you....
I got pregnant at 17 I will call the father G
G told me to take a hike.
Had my daughter her name is D
G married N and she already had a son named A
I have one sister that lives on the same street as G & N & A
My sister has 3 sons the youngest is S
A molested, and raped S for years. A is a very screwed up person...
S turned to become a 911 officer, and then a cop. He just missed being chief a few yrs ago.
I pray that he won't fall apart, he has never dealt with his PTSD (which I know he has)
I don't know how S stays sane with his job either, but so far he has managed.
I don't have any contact with ANY member of my family, and I know only that he missed being chief through newspapers.
My point to all of this is.....I don't think that you need to give up your job, I think with tons of work in therapy you can handle the stress of work. What I was reading in your post was anger, and frustration. With PTSD we don't have coping skills, we internalize EVERYTHING, and stress kind of buries itself in our bodies and OUTSTAYS it's welcome.....With work you will learn how to let go of the things that aren't important, how to obtain a semi peace through stressful situations, and how to control your emotions. Reactions to confrontations, reactions to stress, reactions to almost anything derail us, but with work you will learn how to avoid, and deal with this crap.....
I have faith that you can do this... Besides 911 operators are our lifelines and we don't need to lose another one. We need qualified ones. I would call you anytime if I needed to call 911...
Hugs,
Sid
Sannah
06-16-2007, 10:47 AM
Survivor, maybe what is triggering you is that the calls that you receive give you a view of people whose lives are so out of control? I read in one of your previous posts that you hate when things are out of control. When you are "experiencing" these people with their lives so out of control it might just be touching too close to home for you and triggers all of your fears and your own feelings of feeling out of control? I have a gut feeling that when people are talking about not feeling in control and of wanting more control they are really just talking about their feelings, that their feelings feel so out of control. I know that folks can feel more control over their feelings through understanding them. Understanding comes through discussion with others with good feedback to help you to understand yourself.
Survivor 1957
06-16-2007, 11:07 AM
I Am Sitting Hear With Tears Rolling Down My Face, I Am So Gald I Found You All. I Do Love My Job, I Am Very Good At It, Many Decorations For Outstanding Work. I Do Not Want To Stop But All Therapists Thingk I Need To. I Love The Rush Of A Busy Shift Knowing I Have Helped Some One. I Love The Rush Of A Frantic Caller Needing Me To Stay On The Phone With Them, At The Same Time Doing 10 Other Things To Get The Mission Done. What Is Hard Is The Calls From Kids Reporting Parents Out Of Control, Or The Young Girls That Come In That Have Been Rapped And I Have To Stay With Them Till The Rape Investigators Get On Location. Or The Prisoneer I Had To Be With For 4 Hours One Night,(she Had Ptsd And Was A Former Court Officer) Then She Kielled Hersef The Next Day.... What I Dont Lkie Is The Empty Feeling I Have At The End Of The Shift, The One I Get When I Sti In A Room With No Lights On And The Hours Tick Away. The Feeling Of Just Being A Shell, Not Alive Again Till The Next Busy Shift....we Do It All, Radio , Telephone, Window, And Prisoneers, It Is Some Times Like Being A One Hand Paper Hanger. But I Do Like What I Do. Am I Like A Drug Additic, Love The Work But The Work Is Killing Me?
Sannah
06-16-2007, 11:15 AM
Survivor, what does helping others do for you? What hole does it fill in your life? Is this almost an addiction for you? Those specific cases that you talk about that trigger you just sound too close to home for you. So you only feel alive doing this work?
Survivor 1957
06-16-2007, 11:22 AM
it is like an addiction, i trive on it, it is the only area in my life that i have control. I know i dont have total contol of any emergency situation, just my corner of it. I make sure the help get to the person in need. I knowit is cause of the lack of help i had over the years of hell I went thruough. I could not reach out for help for the bad guy was a cop, then chief..... now you know a little of the crap
k
k
stick2013
06-16-2007, 11:28 AM
K,
Everything that you are talking about is NORMAL.... WE DO for OTHERS because we haven't been taught to COPE WITH US or OUR FEELINGS.... ALL so very NORMAL... Once you get into some really good therapy, and LEARN HOW to take care of YOU.......YOU can maintain that life that you LOVE so much.........
I KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO THIS..... YES they are triggers, but once you learn how to cope with them, YOU can still do your job... Do you understand what I am trying to get across to you right now???
Hugs,,
Sid
Everything that you are talking about is NORMAL.... WE DO for OTHERS because we haven't been taught to COPE WITH US or OUR FEELINGS.... ALL so very NORMAL... Once you get into some really good therapy, and LEARN HOW to take care of YOU.......YOU can maintain that life that you LOVE so much.........
I KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO THIS..... YES they are triggers, but once you learn how to cope with them, YOU can still do your job... Do you understand what I am trying to get across to you right now???
Hugs,,
Sid
Sannah
06-16-2007, 11:38 AM
Yes, you are meeting the needs of others because you cannot meet your own needs and meeting these needs of others is the next best thing. Control is also a big thing, to feel that you are in control somewhere in your life. Don't forget to work on getting some control in your own life because this is the control that really counts. Again, I think that it is the control over your feelings that makes the most difference.
stick2013
06-16-2007, 11:40 AM
Sannah.......
Are we agreeing again?????? OMG!!!!!!
Are we agreeing again?????? OMG!!!!!!
Sannah
06-16-2007, 12:51 PM
Sid, don't we make a great united front!
stick2013
06-16-2007, 05:53 PM
Sannah......
I am NOT sure that the world would be ready for US!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!:D :D
K,
I do hope that your weekend is at least calmer than your last one. Take some time for you this weekend, and make a plan as to what you want out of life. Talk to your therapist about it, and set some kind of time line to accomplish it....
Hugs,
Sid
I am NOT sure that the world would be ready for US!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!:D :D
K,
I do hope that your weekend is at least calmer than your last one. Take some time for you this weekend, and make a plan as to what you want out of life. Talk to your therapist about it, and set some kind of time line to accomplish it....
Hugs,
Sid
Survivor 1957
06-17-2007, 08:05 PM
sannah and sid,
i am hanging n there, did not go to the family gathering for Fathers day, could not handle all of them at one time....went over the parents house this afternoon for 2 hours and was so glad to be back home... i need to avoid the fam for a while.
My good friend came down when she found out I went to the hospital. She would not leave me till we made a plan to get the help i need.... it was good to talk to some one about all this, with out judgement. she really helped me try to get started.
i will try to do the plan on monday afternoon.
k
i am hanging n there, did not go to the family gathering for Fathers day, could not handle all of them at one time....went over the parents house this afternoon for 2 hours and was so glad to be back home... i need to avoid the fam for a while.
My good friend came down when she found out I went to the hospital. She would not leave me till we made a plan to get the help i need.... it was good to talk to some one about all this, with out judgement. she really helped me try to get started.
i will try to do the plan on monday afternoon.
k
stick2013
06-17-2007, 08:36 PM
K,
Until you get some good therapy, and can handle things with the family. Stay away, avoid, put limits on, do whatever it takes to get through this rough time... It's OK... YOU need to take care of YOU right now. To H*** with everyone else.....
Sid
Until you get some good therapy, and can handle things with the family. Stay away, avoid, put limits on, do whatever it takes to get through this rough time... It's OK... YOU need to take care of YOU right now. To H*** with everyone else.....
Sid