hopefullone
06-10-2007, 09:43 PM
Hi y'all!!!! :wave:
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of BFNs! :mad: I keep tryin to tell myself "relax" but its just impossible, especially when I see that positive on the OPK. I get all hyper and baby crazier than usual. So now before DH and I get to BDing for this cycle I wanted to get a list together of relaxation ideas to try. AF is just about to leave so I'll have some time to practice before we get down to serious business ;)
So..anyone have any ideas on how we can take the too often heard advice of "relax"?
My idea-
The last time I got pregnant, I had gotten into the habit of having a glass of wine before bed. It lowered my inhibitions and helped get me into the mood. Don't know if it really helped get me pregnant or not, but who cares. At least I slept well that night. :p
If anyone else has any that have helped them, please contribute!
Good luck to y'all!!
Jackie
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of BFNs! :mad: I keep tryin to tell myself "relax" but its just impossible, especially when I see that positive on the OPK. I get all hyper and baby crazier than usual. So now before DH and I get to BDing for this cycle I wanted to get a list together of relaxation ideas to try. AF is just about to leave so I'll have some time to practice before we get down to serious business ;)
So..anyone have any ideas on how we can take the too often heard advice of "relax"?
My idea-
The last time I got pregnant, I had gotten into the habit of having a glass of wine before bed. It lowered my inhibitions and helped get me into the mood. Don't know if it really helped get me pregnant or not, but who cares. At least I slept well that night. :p
If anyone else has any that have helped them, please contribute!
Good luck to y'all!!
Jackie
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Nicky2112
06-11-2007, 05:22 PM
Hi Jackie,
I find soft music relaxing. If you want to make an entire evening out of it, I'd put on some jazz, light up some candles (they say lavander and vanilla are the most soothing scents), get some massage oils and some wine and let the romance begin! (If you have chocolate or oysters in hand, all the better).
I hope that helps. It's not something you want to do every day of the cycle (time consuming), but the moment your OPK gives you the go ahead I'd say go for it! :)
I find soft music relaxing. If you want to make an entire evening out of it, I'd put on some jazz, light up some candles (they say lavander and vanilla are the most soothing scents), get some massage oils and some wine and let the romance begin! (If you have chocolate or oysters in hand, all the better).
I hope that helps. It's not something you want to do every day of the cycle (time consuming), but the moment your OPK gives you the go ahead I'd say go for it! :)
hopefullone
06-11-2007, 09:29 PM
Thanks Nicky! Great idea! Anything would help when I see that positive OPK. DH gets "stage fright" sometimes when he knows its time. Maybe the lighting and music will help him relax (and me too!!!!!) Thanks for your help!!! :wave:
Nicky2112
06-11-2007, 11:50 PM
Girl! My DH gets performance anxiety too! I thought I was alone on that. I've even gone as far as getting him a porno (a total bust, btw). I was desperate! As it turns out, a good massage, some wine and soft music does the trick. And absolutely no baby talk!! It is weird how talking about procreation can turn guys off. :p
hopefullone
06-12-2007, 01:19 PM
Oh you're not alone!! I'm sure there are many more of ours guys out there with performance anxiety!!! DH promises to "knock me up" this time. (So romantic, right!? ) Sometimes he says he wants to know when I get a positive OPK, and other times he says knowing its positive makes him freak out. I'm tempted to not use OPK at all this time and just BD at least every other day and go by BBT and CM to determine O day. That way I won't get all excited and crazy when I see a positive too.
Oh who am I kidding! I know I'll end up getting OPKs! Silly me.
Thanks for the advice!!! :wave:
Oh who am I kidding! I know I'll end up getting OPKs! Silly me.
Thanks for the advice!!! :wave:
Amy 333
06-13-2007, 12:21 PM
Jackie , Nicky
I decided not to give much details to DH re what s going on.....in our case it helps. I dont tell him about pos opks, peeing on sticks, CM etc............i just try to enphasis more on romance and us. It really helps.
Jackie .. i agree with the wine thing though i haven t tried the candles for a while.
So its gonna be wine , candles ,chocolate and music on the menu tonight ...hope it works.
Amy
I decided not to give much details to DH re what s going on.....in our case it helps. I dont tell him about pos opks, peeing on sticks, CM etc............i just try to enphasis more on romance and us. It really helps.
Jackie .. i agree with the wine thing though i haven t tried the candles for a while.
So its gonna be wine , candles ,chocolate and music on the menu tonight ...hope it works.
Amy
desmaggie
06-13-2007, 12:28 PM
I'm so glad I read this post! DH new I was using OPK and I kept him informed of the result daily, I had to test for 11 days before postive. We BD the day before I got the positive but not on the positive day or the day after. I was fairly upset and we finally had a talk last night because I was feeling like maybe he changed his mind:eek: As it turns out he doesn't want to do all the testing he just wants to let nature take it's course and have it be a surprise with no pressure on either of us..he didn't find the "I'm ovulating so todays the day" very romantic and he wants it just to happen on it's own. Fair enough I guess I was just excited and thought if we could pin point it why not......I guess I could always test and just keep it to myself and try and direct the evening into BD on the appropriate day if I really wanted but I think maybe I should just relax about it too it will probably happen faster that way.
Amy 333
06-13-2007, 12:32 PM
Maggie
Pinpoint it and use opks if you want to...just don t tell him ....and seduce him when you get your positives. It worked wonders for us.
However you can t just rely on OPKs they do not work the same for all of us.
Amy
Pinpoint it and use opks if you want to...just don t tell him ....and seduce him when you get your positives. It worked wonders for us.
However you can t just rely on OPKs they do not work the same for all of us.
Amy
magster04
06-13-2007, 03:19 PM
So far my Dh hasn't had performance anxiety thank goodness! He's ready all the time. Pretty much our problem has been me... being on the clomid makes me easily irritated over nothing and so I pick fights with zero cause. If I can keep a lid on myself we can bd every day if we wanted to! :) We do make a point of not making a baby the focus of our bd even though when we're done he automatically gives me the remotes and a pillow for under my bottom!:) Right now, we're trying to bd every 36-48 hours to cover our bases since I'm not sure when or if I'll ovulate. I'm starting opks today and have been bbt so hopefully we'll get a bun in the oven soon!
desmaggie
06-13-2007, 03:49 PM
I was testing at work anyway because I get up so early I'd wait until 9ish so I could still do it and just seduce him around that positive day. He'd be none the wiser. I wouldn't really feel bad about it because he does want a baby and we are trying it's just he doens't want it all scheduled
hopefullone
06-13-2007, 08:12 PM
I can understand our men's point of view on it all. My DH says "you got pregnant before, without all this planning and charting and taking your temp. It will happen again if you just RELAX". He's right. But I do like temping and charting and using OPKs. Especially since through charting I've learned my luteal phase isn't the greatest. (10-11 days) I wonder if that had anything to do with my miscarriage?? But I will keep the results of the OPKs to myself this time. I haven't bought a new pack of OPKs yet but will soon since I'm on CD9 and usually start testing within a few days.
Amy, sounds like you have a nice romantic night planned. Hope this is the one!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Amy, sounds like you have a nice romantic night planned. Hope this is the one!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Hazel 74
06-13-2007, 11:12 PM
Hey girls,
been following this thread with great interest :) I don't temp and gave up on OPKs after a couple of cycles of not getting any positives (but I know I O)... so for now, just trying to BD about every 2-3 days through out the cycle...
Since I don't do much, I don't have the issue about whether to tell DH... but we have had the "is tonight for business or pleasure" conversations a couple times :D ... so far no perf anxiety issues on his part, but I find that the issue is more me! -- a romantic session for pleasure certainly helps me more and makes things smootehr down there! (sorry TM!!!!!!).
Its been exactly 12 months TTCing now... and after af arrived yest I was less upset than usual... in fact when I told DH about af last night, he hugged me and comforted me... and then commented "good to see you happy and upbeat and not depressed like the when af arrived the last couple months"!!!...
So I think we've come full circle... when we started we expected something to happen soon, so were over-expectant, then frustration set in the next few months, then depression set in the next few months... now both of us feel it will happen when God wills it to... :)
Baby dust... :angel:
been following this thread with great interest :) I don't temp and gave up on OPKs after a couple of cycles of not getting any positives (but I know I O)... so for now, just trying to BD about every 2-3 days through out the cycle...
Since I don't do much, I don't have the issue about whether to tell DH... but we have had the "is tonight for business or pleasure" conversations a couple times :D ... so far no perf anxiety issues on his part, but I find that the issue is more me! -- a romantic session for pleasure certainly helps me more and makes things smootehr down there! (sorry TM!!!!!!).
Its been exactly 12 months TTCing now... and after af arrived yest I was less upset than usual... in fact when I told DH about af last night, he hugged me and comforted me... and then commented "good to see you happy and upbeat and not depressed like the when af arrived the last couple months"!!!...
So I think we've come full circle... when we started we expected something to happen soon, so were over-expectant, then frustration set in the next few months, then depression set in the next few months... now both of us feel it will happen when God wills it to... :)
Baby dust... :angel:
Hazel 74
06-13-2007, 11:14 PM
AMY -- your night sounds wonderful!!!!... irrespective of whether it results in BFP or not, it is good for both of you - so wish you a wonderful time!!!!!!!!
Amy 333
06-14-2007, 03:17 AM
Hi Girls
Well actually DH was tired after work so it wasn t that romantic........however we did BD and relax and my temp spiked this am. SO looks like i oed a day od 2 later this cycle. I am trying to think positive but it s not always easy. I kind of feel let dowm that i o ed late we BD every day for like 6 days out of 7 so i keep thinking that by the end(when i oed ) there won t be good quality spermies left. Silly eh
On the other hand it only takes one little spermie so there s no reason why this shouldn t be my month......
Hazel...i am glad that you are dealing with this so well i am sure that its the secret of success.
Jackie .......well your a few dys before o .......wishing you the best of luck.
Magster how are you doing?
Well actually DH was tired after work so it wasn t that romantic........however we did BD and relax and my temp spiked this am. SO looks like i oed a day od 2 later this cycle. I am trying to think positive but it s not always easy. I kind of feel let dowm that i o ed late we BD every day for like 6 days out of 7 so i keep thinking that by the end(when i oed ) there won t be good quality spermies left. Silly eh
On the other hand it only takes one little spermie so there s no reason why this shouldn t be my month......
Hazel...i am glad that you are dealing with this so well i am sure that its the secret of success.
Jackie .......well your a few dys before o .......wishing you the best of luck.
Magster how are you doing?
magster04
06-14-2007, 09:07 AM
Hi Amy,
I hope we all get BFP's this month!!! At least a few of us, it's so encouraging when someone reaches their goal! Also, you're totally right, it only takes 1 little guy finding his way so there's no reason this can't be your month!
I took an opk yeterday Neg. I'm on cd 12 so it's still a bit early, dh and I are still bding at least every other day.. unless the mood strikes us more frequently like yesterday which was a bonus:D
have a wonderful day
Vi
I hope we all get BFP's this month!!! At least a few of us, it's so encouraging when someone reaches their goal! Also, you're totally right, it only takes 1 little guy finding his way so there's no reason this can't be your month!
I took an opk yeterday Neg. I'm on cd 12 so it's still a bit early, dh and I are still bding at least every other day.. unless the mood strikes us more frequently like yesterday which was a bonus:D
have a wonderful day
Vi
Accutane2X
06-14-2007, 01:06 PM
Desmaggie, you sound like me and my DH. He is happier not knowing about my charting. I have been temping for one month and I find it very interesting. He, on the other hand, does not. So, all he needs to know is that I take my temp every morning. That's all he knows. And that's all he wants to know. He works shift work, so sometimes we won't be able to BD at "the right time." We have a mindset that it will happen when God wants it to. (I've only been off BCP since March.......so I'm a newbie.) Can't promise I'll be saying that if we try for months on end with no BFP, though. Everyone, Good luck with BD time! Have fun! :bouncing: