Malissa8
06-12-2007, 01:00 AM
I'm just wondering if I messed up by doing this. For any who hasn't read my other post, Kevin is the guy I've loved for 3 years, he is BP, medicated and up until a couple months ago, episode free for that time, other than when his Dr changed his meds, and he warned me he would be a little different for a few weeks. This time it came completely out of the blue, and just like that he has shut me out of his life. I've sent him emails, text messages, voice msg's ever since, just trying to let him know I'm here, that I love him, and so on. Well with good advice from some here, I am trying to give him his space, when he checked out on me, that was what he said, "he felt like he had to be alone" so I'm trying, I just dont want him thinking I've completely given up on him, on us. So I send a hello or something every day or so, but this is why I posted this thread, a couple days ago I sent him a longer email, in it I was upfront with him about my fears that this has to do with his BP, which he denied when he first did this. I now see all these little signs I missed back then, so I listed all of them, and the possible triggers. He was stressed about work, he's always had a tough time with work and people there, he has told me before that some of the ppl there know he is BP and on meds, and have made fun of him :( or they would try to make it difficult for him, usually he shrugs this off, but he seemed more and more stressed about work, and the way he felt there, also money was a worry, he was trying to stop smoking because he told me he wanted to do that for me, he wrecked his new car, he started adjusting his meds himself, and he was worried about me and some things I was going thru. So he was very stressed out just before this happend, so in this email I begged him to talk to his Doctor, and not to go in as he always did, say things are alright, the same as usual and leave in 5 minutes with his scripts. I told him to please do this for himself. I don't want to pressure him right now about doing it for me, or for our relationship, I just want him to do it for himself. Was that wrong of me, could I have done more harm than good? I worry about every little thing I've said or done, I wouldn't hurt him for anything.
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tsohl
06-12-2007, 01:51 AM
Hello Malissa,
It is really difficult to predict what he might or might not respond to. You are correct to assume that he needs to see his pdoc...and he probably needs his meds adjusted or tweaked to some extent. It's really hard to know what to say to try to get through to him. You are not alone in this problem. You can find many threads on this board written by women who went through the same or similar thing as you are now experiencing.
There is a book that you might want to read called "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast. You might want to read it now and then when your boyfriend has come out of his hypomania, goes to see his pdoc, levels with him and gets his meds adjusted, you should sit down and read it together. She suggests ways to set up systems to help recognize triggers that lead to mania or depression, working together to avoid a bad episode and has many good ideas to help the person with BP work with his spouse or companion to learn to manage his/her illness.
In the meantime, give him some space, do not hover but be available for when he's ready to see you again. It takes the patience of Job...but, hang in there!!
xxxTsohl :wave:
It is really difficult to predict what he might or might not respond to. You are correct to assume that he needs to see his pdoc...and he probably needs his meds adjusted or tweaked to some extent. It's really hard to know what to say to try to get through to him. You are not alone in this problem. You can find many threads on this board written by women who went through the same or similar thing as you are now experiencing.
There is a book that you might want to read called "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast. You might want to read it now and then when your boyfriend has come out of his hypomania, goes to see his pdoc, levels with him and gets his meds adjusted, you should sit down and read it together. She suggests ways to set up systems to help recognize triggers that lead to mania or depression, working together to avoid a bad episode and has many good ideas to help the person with BP work with his spouse or companion to learn to manage his/her illness.
In the meantime, give him some space, do not hover but be available for when he's ready to see you again. It takes the patience of Job...but, hang in there!!
xxxTsohl :wave:
Malissa8
06-12-2007, 02:13 AM
Thank you tshol for the reply. I will definitely get that book. I know when this first happened I felt so alone in this, it was in finding this site, and reading all these other post, that made me realize just what BP can do to a relationship. Reading that book will help me feel as if I'm doing something. Right now I feel like I'm in limbo, ostracized by the man I love, scared to death he won't find his way back to me. Your suggestion of reading it together one day is something I pray we can do. Thank you again...
tsohl
06-12-2007, 02:51 AM
You might also check out the website for NAMI (www.nami.org). NAMI is a national organization that has state and local chapters that provide educational programs, support groups and that are a great resource for referrals, etc. You might want to take a look at the website to see what might be offered in your area. It also has some good, basic information on BP and the various treatments and medications.
I also recommend that you learn as much as you can about the disorder and especially about the various medications. This way you can work as a partner with the doctors, rather than just following directions and not understanding what's going on.
I suppose since this is a boyfriend rather than a spouse or a child, you might want to be careful in sharing with your BF that you are getting this involved with his disorder. This would be especially true if he has not learned much about his own "dis-ease." BP is the most treatable of all mental illnesses, but it is a condition that you do not grow out of; it does not go away as you age. To live successfully with BP, it is imperative that the person accepts that he has BP and that he must manage it rather than letting the BP control him. Hopefully when he is feeling better, together you can learn what it takes for him to live in a way that maximizes his chances for remaining stable and free of future episodes. If he allows it, you can help him learn to watch for triggers and to help him modify his lifestyle so that he can live up to his full potential.
all for now-- good luck.
Tsohl :wave:
I also recommend that you learn as much as you can about the disorder and especially about the various medications. This way you can work as a partner with the doctors, rather than just following directions and not understanding what's going on.
I suppose since this is a boyfriend rather than a spouse or a child, you might want to be careful in sharing with your BF that you are getting this involved with his disorder. This would be especially true if he has not learned much about his own "dis-ease." BP is the most treatable of all mental illnesses, but it is a condition that you do not grow out of; it does not go away as you age. To live successfully with BP, it is imperative that the person accepts that he has BP and that he must manage it rather than letting the BP control him. Hopefully when he is feeling better, together you can learn what it takes for him to live in a way that maximizes his chances for remaining stable and free of future episodes. If he allows it, you can help him learn to watch for triggers and to help him modify his lifestyle so that he can live up to his full potential.
all for now-- good luck.
Tsohl :wave:
marshmallow
06-12-2007, 03:20 PM
Malissa, you did what you thought was best at the time. There is no right or wrong when dealing with a mental illness. We all make mistakes out of love I know I have. I have tried reasoning with my husband over and over knowing in my head that is was impossible but my heart took over and I screwed up. My trying to reason with him lead him to frustration and anger just what I didnt want. I think Kevin knows you love him and it has to be up to him to make the move to you if he decides to. Meanwhile you can learn all you can about bp and meds like Tsohl suggested. I know your hurting and I wish I had a quick fix for you but no one does. I am so sorry your having to go through this. I know the pain.
Malissa8
06-12-2007, 07:50 PM
Hi Marsh, I've been keeping up with you by reading your Marsh thread. Sounds like you have alot on your plate right now, and here you are taking the time to offer kind words for me, I thank you so much. Everyone here amazes me, whether they are BP or a loved one of... each willing to offer their own perspectives, words of advice or just encouragement. Just a nice group.
I just find myself missing Kevin more and more everyday, but my fear is, I'm not even a blip on his radar right now. I wish I was stronger.
I just find myself missing Kevin more and more everyday, but my fear is, I'm not even a blip on his radar right now. I wish I was stronger.
Dee-nah
06-12-2007, 08:21 PM
You are stronger you are not giving yourself any credit, you don't need Kevin!
emeraldeyes114
06-13-2007, 01:26 AM
Hi Marsh, I've been keeping up with you by reading your Marsh thread. Sounds like you have alot on your plate right now, and here you are taking the time to offer kind words for me, I thank you so much. Everyone here amazes me, whether they are BP or a loved one of... each willing to offer their own perspectives, words of advice or just encouragement. Just a nice group.
I just find myself missing Kevin more and more everyday, but my fear is, I'm not even a blip on his radar right now. I wish I was stronger.
Malissa,
I think you are stronger the you might think. Perhaps giving him space and giving yourself space for a while will be what you both need. Love is a splendid emotion that is true but it is not the whole of a person either. Go out and have fun. It is not walking away from him or anything like that. Hopefully if he is a straight arrow with his pdoc and needs the tweak then when it happens he will feel better.
I know you miss him. Be a blip on your own radar screen for a while. Rediscover you again until he decides what is what. Perhaps saying hi occassionally will not make him so in the prey sort of place. I don't know that he is jsut a thought.
Eme
I just find myself missing Kevin more and more everyday, but my fear is, I'm not even a blip on his radar right now. I wish I was stronger.
Malissa,
I think you are stronger the you might think. Perhaps giving him space and giving yourself space for a while will be what you both need. Love is a splendid emotion that is true but it is not the whole of a person either. Go out and have fun. It is not walking away from him or anything like that. Hopefully if he is a straight arrow with his pdoc and needs the tweak then when it happens he will feel better.
I know you miss him. Be a blip on your own radar screen for a while. Rediscover you again until he decides what is what. Perhaps saying hi occassionally will not make him so in the prey sort of place. I don't know that he is jsut a thought.
Eme
Malissa8
06-13-2007, 11:34 PM
Everything thats been said makes alot of sense. I guess I'm just having such a hard time understanding something that I apparantly can't. It takes me a long time to love, and to trust and to give myself to someone, when I do, its not something I do lightly, or something that I could throw away on a whim, I think thats the most confusing for me, is how can he, when he was just as commited, and invested in US as I was, if not moreso earlier on. But, I think it was Marsh who said this, I'm trying to understand something that I can't possibly understand, Kevin is BP, I am not. I couldn't possibly understand what he is feeling, or what is making him be like this now.
Dee-nah
06-13-2007, 11:44 PM
Hey you!
Do you think it's possible that you are afraid of change? I'm not saying you didn't love Kevin but I know that when I dumped my pill popper the majority of the pain came from "oh, no I'm on my own"??? It's so comfortable to have someone beside you but once they are gone you feel lost!
I'm not saying the pain of a broken heart isn't there because I know in your case it is.... Maybe I'm wrong, I know with me having BP we don't like change.
Do you think it's possible that you are afraid of change? I'm not saying you didn't love Kevin but I know that when I dumped my pill popper the majority of the pain came from "oh, no I'm on my own"??? It's so comfortable to have someone beside you but once they are gone you feel lost!
I'm not saying the pain of a broken heart isn't there because I know in your case it is.... Maybe I'm wrong, I know with me having BP we don't like change.
Malissa8
06-14-2007, 01:20 AM
I am definately afraid of change. That isn't what is the worst though, I can adapt to change, but I honestly thought this was it, he made me believe that. We had found each other finally. Took me longer to believe and trust that, then to have it just go away in the blink of an eye, thats what is the worst.
4support
06-14-2007, 02:33 AM
Hi Malissa,
I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I know exactly what you are going thru. I am married to a BP hubbie for a long time and we have 2 wonderful small children. My husband has always been a little different, but that's why I fell in love with him. He is a wonderful and devoted person to us, his family. But we have one serious issue to deal with...the bipolar disorder. I love my hubbie very much and you remind me of the way I felt even when we were dating and not married yet. 4 years ago, he went thru a serious manic episode which lasted for months. He completely changed, he was angry and hurtful and I honestly thought he was pushing me away. I couldn't believe it, it didn't appear that he loved me anymore, that he cared about our little family or what happened to us. He was non-receptive and unreachable. I was literally on the verge of leaving him with our children when I forced him into therapy. It was in therapy that the disorder quickly revealed itself, thus a subsequent trip to a pdoc who dx my hubbie with BP and started him on medication.
It has not been an easy road, at times it's been hell, but many more times in between it is wonderful and I know the person inside him has not changed. He is in therapy, he is still trying to find the right med combo to help him be as stable as possible, but the point I am trying to make is this - when my husband is stable and doing well, he is all about the LOVE - our marriage, our children, everything is 100% wonderful in his eyes. When he is not stable, he is finding fault, distancing himself, it appears he does not care, he says hurtful things, and is basically miserable to be around.
Once you learn more about the illness, you will understand how the thought patterns are distorted, and because of that, people who suffer with BP will say and do things that they wouldn't normally do while rational.
Have confidence in the relationship that you and your boyfriend have built together for 3 years. It sounds to me as though his meds are off a bit. I hope he is committed to getting the help he needs because this is most important. In the meantime, let him know you love him and will help him and stand by his side, but take care of yourself and live your life.
There are lots of wonderful and supportive people on this board who can advise you and share their insights with you as well.
I wish you love & happiness,
4support
I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I know exactly what you are going thru. I am married to a BP hubbie for a long time and we have 2 wonderful small children. My husband has always been a little different, but that's why I fell in love with him. He is a wonderful and devoted person to us, his family. But we have one serious issue to deal with...the bipolar disorder. I love my hubbie very much and you remind me of the way I felt even when we were dating and not married yet. 4 years ago, he went thru a serious manic episode which lasted for months. He completely changed, he was angry and hurtful and I honestly thought he was pushing me away. I couldn't believe it, it didn't appear that he loved me anymore, that he cared about our little family or what happened to us. He was non-receptive and unreachable. I was literally on the verge of leaving him with our children when I forced him into therapy. It was in therapy that the disorder quickly revealed itself, thus a subsequent trip to a pdoc who dx my hubbie with BP and started him on medication.
It has not been an easy road, at times it's been hell, but many more times in between it is wonderful and I know the person inside him has not changed. He is in therapy, he is still trying to find the right med combo to help him be as stable as possible, but the point I am trying to make is this - when my husband is stable and doing well, he is all about the LOVE - our marriage, our children, everything is 100% wonderful in his eyes. When he is not stable, he is finding fault, distancing himself, it appears he does not care, he says hurtful things, and is basically miserable to be around.
Once you learn more about the illness, you will understand how the thought patterns are distorted, and because of that, people who suffer with BP will say and do things that they wouldn't normally do while rational.
Have confidence in the relationship that you and your boyfriend have built together for 3 years. It sounds to me as though his meds are off a bit. I hope he is committed to getting the help he needs because this is most important. In the meantime, let him know you love him and will help him and stand by his side, but take care of yourself and live your life.
There are lots of wonderful and supportive people on this board who can advise you and share their insights with you as well.
I wish you love & happiness,
4support
MSLAINIE
06-14-2007, 03:46 AM
Hi Malissa and everyone today....
I know you didn't mess up. I am Mslainie and my ex, son and best friend and boyfriend are all BP. My ex after 9 1/2 yrs in& out jail ect....unmedicated and self meds on pcp. He is now clean. I pray he stays. My son it took 3 years he now 16 1/2, it took 3 years to get his medcombo correct. I had to realize and try to explain to my son meds are only a part. So when he doesnt open up, I have to step back. Now, I am very nervous, he decided he is moving in with his Dad to help him and as much as I want to stop and control it. I can not. But my point is my Best Friend who is a Great Person, told me up front she goes into her period where she wont call, text or see me and it is not personal so even if it bothers or hurts me, I have learned to respect her wishes. I feel lucky she even explained it to me or I would be wondering what I did. So keep busy and patience and I used to drive myself crazy thinking it was me. Even years later, once in while if She dont return my calls, I think is it me. She helps me alot with my son and myself too. But is single mom like me and works alot ect.... So today I decided to talk to my own councilor and I made the call. It hurts really bad without my son here, I miss him and worry. I just had a car accd and broke my sternum and ribs with seat belt. I am in middle of court case with my son for a better school envirerment and my Daughter adhd has been in and out of hospital for migraines, virtigo, and sleep apnea at almost 14years old. So instead of not sleeping and eating AND STRESSING , I and THANKS TO LUCKYGEM13 made an appointment to talk to my own councilor since I feel overwelmed.
Maybe an idea for you or not. I never thought about it.
So good luck and keep posting. This is a Great Board...
Mslainie
I know you didn't mess up. I am Mslainie and my ex, son and best friend and boyfriend are all BP. My ex after 9 1/2 yrs in& out jail ect....unmedicated and self meds on pcp. He is now clean. I pray he stays. My son it took 3 years he now 16 1/2, it took 3 years to get his medcombo correct. I had to realize and try to explain to my son meds are only a part. So when he doesnt open up, I have to step back. Now, I am very nervous, he decided he is moving in with his Dad to help him and as much as I want to stop and control it. I can not. But my point is my Best Friend who is a Great Person, told me up front she goes into her period where she wont call, text or see me and it is not personal so even if it bothers or hurts me, I have learned to respect her wishes. I feel lucky she even explained it to me or I would be wondering what I did. So keep busy and patience and I used to drive myself crazy thinking it was me. Even years later, once in while if She dont return my calls, I think is it me. She helps me alot with my son and myself too. But is single mom like me and works alot ect.... So today I decided to talk to my own councilor and I made the call. It hurts really bad without my son here, I miss him and worry. I just had a car accd and broke my sternum and ribs with seat belt. I am in middle of court case with my son for a better school envirerment and my Daughter adhd has been in and out of hospital for migraines, virtigo, and sleep apnea at almost 14years old. So instead of not sleeping and eating AND STRESSING , I and THANKS TO LUCKYGEM13 made an appointment to talk to my own councilor since I feel overwelmed.
Maybe an idea for you or not. I never thought about it.
So good luck and keep posting. This is a Great Board...
Mslainie
Malissa8
06-14-2007, 02:33 PM
Just wow, thank you MSLAINIE and 4support.. You have no idea how much I needed that little boost today. I was at work, but Kevin was on my mind all day, so I've been kinda emotional today, and I get home to find your replies here. Just knowing ppl care, ppl offering advice, and most of all sharing with me stories of their own that have so many similarities to what I'm dealing with, actually give me strength and hope. Thank you so much again for the reminder of just what this BP does, and causes. I know its one of those things you here and believe at the moment, but when another week goes by and he still isn't speaking, you start doubting yourself all over again, I start thinking wow, maybe it was me all along and not the BP, but its post like yours that brings me back to reality. We were extremely happy, in love, and closer to each other than anyone else we've been with, I need to remember that, and stop letting the BP take the good memories away from me. Finding this site has been a Godsend to me, without it, I don't know where I would be right now. This has been the most painful time for me... (((hugs))) to all........
Malissa8
06-16-2007, 10:30 PM
:( Well everyone, I guess I got my answer tonight. I had been trying so hard to understand this sudden change in Kevin, to let him know that I'm here if he needed me and so on. I never could get any sort of response from him, til today. It was pretty mean, very hurtful. He pretty much blamed me for everything, saying he "struggled" with me for 3 years, (which is shocking for him to describe us that way, he always seemed and said to be so happy) He was cruel, which was new he also made fun of me for thinking this had anything to do with the bi-polar... He also said he "guessed we can't be friends" which is such a joke in itself. When he did this, I took a step back, I treated him as a "friend" he's the one who slammed the door in my face, is that trying to be a friend?
I need to find the strength to get over Kevin, because I can't handle this sadness much longer. It's killing me, and after getting such a mean, cruel response from him, I am without all hope. He said, "when I'm done, I'm done" ..... :(
I need to find the strength to get over Kevin, because I can't handle this sadness much longer. It's killing me, and after getting such a mean, cruel response from him, I am without all hope. He said, "when I'm done, I'm done" ..... :(
MSLAINIE
06-17-2007, 05:36 AM
Hey Malissa8,
I always thought when I am done thats it but as I am getting older, only 42.
I am still too quick to make decisions,especially when I cant control it or feel hurt by it. So I would take day by day. My MOM a great woman says, when you have doubts "DO NOTHING' and dont make a bad or decisions based on pain of the heart. She and My DAD are together 44years. God Blessed them and me & my brother.
GOOD Luck.
Mslainie
I always thought when I am done thats it but as I am getting older, only 42.
I am still too quick to make decisions,especially when I cant control it or feel hurt by it. So I would take day by day. My MOM a great woman says, when you have doubts "DO NOTHING' and dont make a bad or decisions based on pain of the heart. She and My DAD are together 44years. God Blessed them and me & my brother.
GOOD Luck.
Mslainie
Malissa8
06-17-2007, 03:34 PM
Hey Malissa8,
I always thought when I am done thats it but as I am getting older, only 42.
I am still too quick to make decisions,especially when I cant control it or feel hurt by it. So I would take day by day. My MOM a great woman says, when you have doubts "DO NOTHING' and dont make a bad or decisions based on pain of the heart. She and My DAD are together 44years. God Blessed them and me & my brother.
GOOD Luck.
Mslainie
Sounds like good advice, but he's the one that has made all these decisions, also the one being "done"... The things he said was so cruel and so unlike the Kevin I have known for 3 years. Maybe I never knew him at all. Your advice is good, but he's the one that's changing everything and of course blaming me... I tried so hard to understand the BP, it seems that has only made him angrier. There is nothing else I can do. :(
I always thought when I am done thats it but as I am getting older, only 42.
I am still too quick to make decisions,especially when I cant control it or feel hurt by it. So I would take day by day. My MOM a great woman says, when you have doubts "DO NOTHING' and dont make a bad or decisions based on pain of the heart. She and My DAD are together 44years. God Blessed them and me & my brother.
GOOD Luck.
Mslainie
Sounds like good advice, but he's the one that has made all these decisions, also the one being "done"... The things he said was so cruel and so unlike the Kevin I have known for 3 years. Maybe I never knew him at all. Your advice is good, but he's the one that's changing everything and of course blaming me... I tried so hard to understand the BP, it seems that has only made him angrier. There is nothing else I can do. :(
marshmallow
06-17-2007, 09:29 PM
Malissa so sorry for all your pain. It does baffle the brain when a perosn can change like that and your right there is nothing you can do. I am so sorry this is happening to you. I read your posts and you seem like a very caring and loving person. It is his loss.
Malissa8
06-17-2007, 10:03 PM
Hi Marsh, (((hugs))) to you... It's been a rough two days. I had sent him a really sweet card, and he erupted on me. The last thing he said was "obviously we can't be friends" which blows my mind. I was the one that took a step back, I was willing to be his friend, only saying the occasional hi, asking how the family was etc. He is the one that shut me out completely. He never once asked how my depression was, or how my Dad was doing. He has some nerve throwing up to me that , I was being the bigger person and trying to be his "friend"... And making me feel so stupid for even considering this had to do with his BP, well my God how does it not? I have known him for 3 years, and he never once was this person, he did a complete 180 on me in every way, knowing he is BP was it foolish of me to think it may be that? At this point I don't know if I'm coming or going. All I know is I spent the day with my Dad who is home from the hospital, but still not well, he has a weak heart, he still has fluid on his body, and I'm worried to death over him, and broken hearted over Kevin. I'm just hurt and angry and on top of all that, scared and worried about my Dad. He had never once in 3 years been mean to me, now he's done it twice, when he first did this, and lastnight. I had read so many post here where the BP person will say or do things, and blame you, that had never happend to me, until lastnight. That is so hard to hear...
I hope you are doing well.
I hope you are doing well.
marshmallow
06-17-2007, 10:29 PM
Malissa, my husband always blamed me and said he did not have bp. It seems to be like a script with them. Sorry to hear about your father you do have a lot going on right now. I hope your father recovers quickly and that will be off your mind at least. It is impossible to understand what Kevin is doing. I think for your best interest you have to let go. I held on so long it took a huge toll on me and still is. I know the pain so it makes me feel so badly for you.
Malissa8
06-17-2007, 11:51 PM
Thank you for the well wishes for my Dad. Those are so much appreciated. And you are right, I have to let go. For my own health and well being, I just can't allow myself to hang on right now, because I'm not strong enough. I didn't deserve the outburst lastnight, and he knows I'm dealing with my own very stressful things, for him to do that, showed me just how much he has changed. I love him, I worry about him, but he has pushed me away, and it's best I accept it and try to heal, and eventually move on. The cruelness is what did it for me, he knows my history with men, having a guy you don't know attack you and change you for life, the pain and mistrust and hurt I will carry forever from that,with Kevin, he was always full of love and respect and pure caring, but for him to be able to be so mean and cruel lastnight to me did me in. I won't accept that from someone who loved me so much, to be treated as if I was nothing. Well as I told him, it is his loss. I am something, and up until a few weeks ago, he knew that and always made me feel like I was. This new person he is, I don't even know. I have to take care of myself now, I just wish this painful stage was passed. In time, I know....
marshmallow
06-18-2007, 10:37 AM
It takes time, Malissa to heal so know it will hurt but then the storm clouds will life and you will be able to clearly see where you are going. Some of us take a long time (me) but things will get better. Don't let what he did put you down because in reality it is not about you it is all about HIM. Without meds they can be narcisstic. sp. questionable. lol My husband always thought he was doing everything for me but it was actually what he wanted and about him. How is your Dad doing today?
Malissa8
06-18-2007, 11:36 AM
Well Dad has a call into his Doctor. He was to monitor his weight closely so that he doesn't put all that fluid back on that he had gotten off, but the last 2 days he's gained weight, so thats concerning.
About Kevin, that's the problem Marsh, Kevin is on meds.. which makes it so confusing... Like maybe I deserved this for some reason, and it had nothing to do with his BP.
About Kevin, that's the problem Marsh, Kevin is on meds.. which makes it so confusing... Like maybe I deserved this for some reason, and it had nothing to do with his BP.
marshmallow
06-18-2007, 11:39 AM
I know it is a concern for your father. Did you say he is out of the hospital now?
Gosh, I forgot he is on meds. I guess they can still go manic and are not always stable. It is a long road for them but it still does not excuse his treating you the way he has. I wish I had some words of wisdom or comfort for you. I know how hard this is.
Gosh, I forgot he is on meds. I guess they can still go manic and are not always stable. It is a long road for them but it still does not excuse his treating you the way he has. I wish I had some words of wisdom or comfort for you. I know how hard this is.
Malissa8
06-18-2007, 04:32 PM
Yes, Dad has been home from the hospital a couple weeks, however he is still retaining fluid. Hopefully they figure out soon how can best help him.
And , yeah, Kevin is on his meds, as far as I know. That was the original questin I had that made me find this board. When it first happened I found this site and asked if a BP who is medicated still have or can have episodes. I do know there was something he started changing himself, right before all this happened, because his sleep was ever worse, and he said that at work, he just wasn't feeling right. So he did some "self-adjusting" I know. Who knows, maybe a person can change completely in the blink of an eye, where their personality and everything changes, and it has nothing to do with BP. He made me feel like I was nuts for even thinking this change in him could be an effect of the BP. I just know he went from the warmest, most loving man I've ever known (for 3 yrs) so the coldest, uncaring, vacant man. So I'm just at a loss, I don't think its unthinkable of me to think it could be his BP. :( I had been doing a little better, then to be treated that way by him Saturday night has sent me in a tailspin. I need to make some changes in my own life, and take care of myself, be happy with or without him, thats gonna take some time though.
And , yeah, Kevin is on his meds, as far as I know. That was the original questin I had that made me find this board. When it first happened I found this site and asked if a BP who is medicated still have or can have episodes. I do know there was something he started changing himself, right before all this happened, because his sleep was ever worse, and he said that at work, he just wasn't feeling right. So he did some "self-adjusting" I know. Who knows, maybe a person can change completely in the blink of an eye, where their personality and everything changes, and it has nothing to do with BP. He made me feel like I was nuts for even thinking this change in him could be an effect of the BP. I just know he went from the warmest, most loving man I've ever known (for 3 yrs) so the coldest, uncaring, vacant man. So I'm just at a loss, I don't think its unthinkable of me to think it could be his BP. :( I had been doing a little better, then to be treated that way by him Saturday night has sent me in a tailspin. I need to make some changes in my own life, and take care of myself, be happy with or without him, thats gonna take some time though.
MSLAINIE
06-20-2007, 03:40 AM
Hi Malissa8,
Seeing your reply then my response didn't apply. I left my ex for same reason, he is BP but no meds. You do deserve the best and I am sorry for your pain. I hope your DAD better.....
My son BP on meds has been doing 360 on me and my daughter lately. He also goes to appts and psy. But some days are not good, more than others anymore.
Good Luck
Mslainie
Seeing your reply then my response didn't apply. I left my ex for same reason, he is BP but no meds. You do deserve the best and I am sorry for your pain. I hope your DAD better.....
My son BP on meds has been doing 360 on me and my daughter lately. He also goes to appts and psy. But some days are not good, more than others anymore.
Good Luck
Mslainie