My husband's P doc is pretty strict about who can and cannot set appointments etc. So I arranged for DH to have me sign a paper saying I was approved to call regarding my husband, the patient.

Tonight my husband says now that he is on Lithium everyone is looking at him differently.....the family Dr.....the pharmacist.....the Denstist, etc. He is getting paranoid and he wants me off the list of people that are allowed to speak with his Dr and wants only our youngest son (HE IS 14 YEARS OLD!) to be approved. The whole reason I wanted permission to talk to his Dr was to AVOID ever having him Baker Acted (involuntarily committed). He just started saying everytime he was arrested I was there...more liike nearby. I have never had anything to do with his arrests and have been heartbroken everytime it hapened. I am EXTREMELY against someone being involuntarily committed, HOWEVER my husband has been psychotic and I would like to have a private p doc to call as opposed to 911 or the ER who WILL Baker Act him, Ugh!

I am so offended and heartbroken to say the least....I have given this man more than anybody else on this earth....including his own Mother (who is not all "there" bless her heart) I am pissed and I thank you all for letting me vent. Some people just don't see reality for what it is. Does this man not know I am his greatest protector and defender???...and now his paranioa is cutting me loose and he is actually INCREASING his risk of being Baker Acted because now I can only call 911....We know what that leads to, Ugh!

Thanks for listening,



Luckygem13

Hi Luckygem13,
My son just told me same thing. He is BP 16 1/2 now. It 3years and alot of med combo's to get right. I love my son and daughter with all my heart. He moved in with my ex after 9 1/2 years (we been sep&div) and our son wants my ex who is BP no meds, in NA for PCP and just came home from jail after 2years. I understand now my ex better, but my son is saying same things. I 302'd him and he saying I had him arrested. He is telling lies to my ex, who is going off on me. My son dont want me to be involved in his therapy, he claims now. My heart is broken but I have to be strong. He called me other day telling me my ex was threatening to kill him. But forgot whole story, he stood up my ex's new boss, he told he would work and didnt. My son did same thing to one of my friends, he was working and refused on a busy day.
My biggest fear is my ex unmedicated and thinks our son just spoiled, will not be able to handle it. My son has been so mean and his dad been catching him in lies. My daughter is so happy, her brother is not living here. I didnt realize how hard it was for her. So I pray for us all and everything will work out.
I can relate, my son I have given all I can plus. Even now I am in middle of court for getting him in a better high school. My ex he is hot/cold so its hard to speak to him. I am not happy our son made this decision, but my son thinks he can help his dad. I explained only a psy doc may be able if his dad makes that choice. He was diagnosed 28years ago and denies to this day.
Our daughter can see thru my son and ex. She is just staying out of it.
I pray but it is hard. Everyday is a little little better....
Mslainie

Oh Luckygem13,
I forgot 2 things.
1. I made my own therapist appointment for me. I thank you for suggestion.
I need it bad, I am so stressed....and maybe more. We will see.

2. Even if my son signs for me not to talk to therapist or psy, I believe I can leave messages for doc's, they just can't give me any infomation. Also I believe the Bakers Act is the same as 302 in Pennsylvania which is committed again their free will. Now in PA the person can turn 302 into a 201 which is by their free will, I am not sure if different in FL. Maybe look into it and if a person in our state of pa is 302'd, I must go to do paperwork 1st at a psy hospital then call 911. Last time it took, 12hours, it was hard but my son was suicidal at time.

My heart broke with you, but I know everything will be ok for you and me.
Mslainie

Hello Lucky Gem,

I am sorry you are experiencing this level of paranoia with your husband. It sounds like he is far from stabilized on his meds. Can you convince him to return to his pdoc for a med adjustment? I guess some people do well on lithium as a monotherapy but I think more take it with some additional meds.

xxxtsohl:wave:

Hi you two and thanks for replying!

I have to remind myself that he has a serious mental illness and so I should not always take things so personally. He is not always "all there" but he thinks he is. I want to protect him not harm him, but paranioa is what it is. It is so hard to see anyone suffer let alone my immediate family.

He drank 2 vodka martinis last night, it was after the second one that he started getting paranoid and weird. I think when he drinks he basically is like he is not on any medication. Maybe if I could just convince him to not drink or only 1-2 glasses of wine. It's the damn vodka, it makes him crazy...not like a normal drunk....I mean paranoid and weird. When we came home I went straight to my office because I was distraught. My son told me today when we came in he started wigging out on him...that was out in the kitchen so I didn't see. I really think it's the alcohol that is the problem, not the medication regimen.

Luvya guys,


Luckygem

Luckygem sorry to hear your having a hard time with husband right now. You are a very loving wife and I hope things get better for you.

Hi Lucky,

Glad to see you sound a bt calmer. Alcohol is such a problem with anyone who is taking psychotropic meds. Any chance you could convince your husband to stick to wine? It is an unfortunate fact of this illness that it affects the very part of the brain that allows someone to know when their behavior is "off" or outside the norm, and that their thinking is disordered. The more affected they are, the less they realize there is a problem.

How is your older son doing? What does he do to occupy his time over the summer vacation?

Hope you all have a happy Father's day!

xxxTsohl

Hi guys,

We managed to give him a great Father's Day and he does seem happy and very loving toward all of us right now. We went boating and fishing and spent some time with the neighbors, we barbequed :blob_fire and at the end of the day we had lots of gifts and cards for him. He seems very content.

Tsohl,

I have asked him repeatedly to just stick with wine...it's either that or I'm going to request a one martini limit! Everytime I feel confused with my heart breaking I realize, he has consumed quite a bit of vodka...frickin VODKA...I HATE the stuff. God knows sometimes I drink more Pinot Grigio than I should but there is something about Vodka that is over the top, Ugh! I do believe a martini is like 2.5 shots of alcohol so that is 5 drinks basically for the 2 martini's......not something he can handle. In my opinion whether he is medicated or not, the mind of someone with a serious mental illness is more subscetible to the effects of ALL mind altering substances. I remember when he thought he was Jesus and he told me he had been smoking a lot of pot at that time, I thought, well I smoked some in the 70's and nothing like that ever happened to me. But then I did some research and found that in a certain percentage of the populaaiton they can actually become pscyhotic from marijuana! I guess he would be in that percentage.

I wonder if this man knows how much I (we/the kids) love him :angel: ? He is not the kind that you can dote over or he will take advantage....but I think he is lucky....underneath it all, we are both very happy...as are the kids....it's just sometimes the CRAP of life gets in the way.


Love you guys :wave: !



Luckygem

Tsohl,

Forgot to mention our 17 year old is working for my husband's company over the summer. He is doing well, not perfect but OK. He is overweight which concerns me but he is coming along nicely. He is working under my husband's brother's (DH partner) division of the company so he really doesn't see his Dad much at work or even his uncle for that matter.....but it's going smoothly. He is not taking any meds at this time and he has never been pscyhotic, just challenging, LOL!


Luvya,


Luckygem

Glad you all had a nice Father's Day. It is challenging having to keep reminding yourself that it is the "dis-ease" talking and not your husband.

I think tequila is equally damaging as vodka. People seem to get really violent after drinking too much tequila. With wine, people usually just talk too much and eventually fall asleep.

Before our son was properly medicated, he was self-medicating with mostly marijuana and he eventually started hallucinating. I didn't know about this until after the fact. He's been clean for over 2 years now, and never did drink much, so we didn't have problems with alcohol.

I didn't realize your son was not medicated for BP. Are they unsure of the diagnosis?

Hi Tsohl,

Yeah, It's not normal to hallucinate with marijuana but a certain percentage of the population does...Go figure!

Our 17 year old son is not medicated at his time. Two Dr's suggested he was Bipolar and that was without knowledge that DH has bipolar. I thought our son did great when he was on Tegretol though. It's a pain to do the blood tests but I liked Tegretol....I called them "smart pills". DH is/was against our son being medicated, Ugh!

Luvya,


Luckygem :angel:

[QUOTE=luckygem13;3048919]My husband's P doc is pretty strict about who can and cannot set appointments etc. So I arranged for DH to have me sign a paper saying I was approved to call regarding my husband, the patient.

Tonight my husband says now that he is on Lithium everyone is looking at him differently.....the family Dr.....the pharmacist.....the Denstist, etc. He is getting paranoid and he wants me off the list of people that are allowed to speak with his Dr and wants only our youngest son (HE IS 14 YEARS OLD!) to be approved. The whole reason I wanted permission to talk to his Dr was to AVOID ever having him Baker Acted (involuntarily committed). He just started saying everytime he was arrested I was there...more liike nearby. I have never had anything to do with his arrests and have been heartbroken everytime it hapened. I am EXTREMELY against someone being involuntarily committed, HOWEVER my husband has been psychotic and I would like to have a private p doc to call as opposed to 911 or the ER who WILL Baker Act him, Ugh!

I am so offended and heartbroken to say the least....I have given this man more than anybody else on this earth....including his own Mother (who is not all "there" bless her heart) I am pissed and I thank you all for letting me vent. Some people just don't see reality for what it is. Does this man not know I am his greatest protector and defender???...and now his paranioa is cutting me loose and he is actually INCREASING his risk of being Baker Acted because now I can only call 911....We know what that leads to, Ugh!


Hi there Luckygem...:wave:

The paranoia and accusatory statements that your husband has been making to his biggest supporter and defender (YOU!) sound all too familiar.

Let's look at this:

- Everyone is "looking" at him differently. Heard it. I'm sure there are millions of people on lithium, but he is thinking that he is being singled out, or "judged" possibly (as my hubbie thinks he is) or "labeled". Have you tried explaining to him (not possible if he is being irrational) that especially people in the medical profession deal with this all the time. They are more apt to look at him as a responsible individual who is doing the right thing by taking medication and controlling his mood disorder. My husband also exhibits paranoia like this at times. I attribute it to his disorder and irrational thinking.

- If he will not allow you to be on the paperwork for doctors/hospital to talk with you (especially in case of an emergency), then he will have to deal with the consequences of the way things may go if he has to go to the hospital. Is this in your control? Probably not right now. This may change in the future if he does have a situation where he would have rather it had been handled a different way. Him having your 14-year old son on as an authorized person is ridiculous and not fair to pull him into something like this that the adults should be handling. Again, irrational thinking.

- I know firsthand how much you have given your husband and how heartbroken you are by the way you have been treated. This illness has the unfortunate and devastating affect of doing this to those who love people struggling with BP. Before my hubbie's dx, he used to blame everything on me and he was very hurtful. For a long time I was just heartbroken and confused as to why he was saying all the unfounded and ugly things to me after having a solid, loving relationship for many years. It didn't occur to me until a MAJOR manic episode he had that he might be ill. Remember that you are a rational person trying to reason with someone who is acting and thinking irrationally. No, he is not seeing reality for what it is. This is the confusing and another devastating part of this disorder. I can't tell you how many times I have called or run in to the therapist trying to figure out why my husband said certain things or acted the way he did, or trying to understand how he could treat me the way he was. Do you think your husband is stable and on the right med combo?

Well, I wish you strength and hopefully your husband will rationally decide to put you back on his paperwork and realize that you are a friend, and not a foe. They really do lash out and blame those closest to them. That's what makes this so hard to deal with when you really love someone.

As an afterthought...I just read your latest post - yep, the drinking more than likely inactivated your husband's meds, this is what happens to mine too, he is trying to limit drinking now.

I still believe that LOVE can overcome if the BP'er is committed to taking their medication and being as well as possible! I know you love your hubbie, as I do mine. That's why we will do anything to help our husbands, and that's why it hurts that much more if they are hurtful toward us. We also have 2 children (ours are very young).

Well, we're all here to support you, let me know if I can help more!

Take care,
4support
:angel: