Where are you, sweetie??? Hope all is well, I've been thinking about you.

Dee-nah, thank you so much for thinking of me. I had company from Virginia visiting me and barely got on the computer. How are you doing? When I was here last you were having a med problem. I hope your doing better. I was thinking of you too.

I still am a bit and the worse part is, i'm not even done!!! I still have another 200mgs of Tegretol to get into my system, UGH! So when you hear me whine the next couple of weeks this is why..= )

How are you?

your not a whiner so forget that lol I am ok but never really voice how I am on here since someone told me to grow some male anatomy and stop being a door mat. If that is what people think I should shut up huh? I appreciate your asking about me very much. Thank you. I hope your meds get straightened out sooooon.

I remember that but I don't think it was meant in that content? I have to grow some male anatomy myself.. I think a lot of us do! As for the doormat I think everyone of us has been there done that... I'm sure it was meant to help you but I can see where the wording could of been off a bit. Don't dwell on that stuff it's not worth it... Focus on YOU!

thanks Dee, I think I am overly sensitive because I am so worn down but it did feel kind of rude to me but not going to dwell on it everyone has a right to their opinion I know who and what I am.

So how are you really doing?

your not a whiner so forget that lol I am ok but never really voice how I am on here since someone told me to grow some male anatomy and stop being a door mat. If that is what people think I should shut up huh? I appreciate your asking about me very much. Thank you. I hope your meds get straightened out sooooon.

That would be me.

It's interesting that after all this time you still make reference to me suggesting you grow a set and stop being a doormat. What prompted me to say that in the first place is reading your numerous posts over the course of several months, wherein you continued to be abused and emotionally tormented and still at the behest of the abuser, leaving you frozen in indecision, agony, misery and unable to move forward in any way, shape or form - no matter how much the people on this board listened, advised, sympathized, emphatized and shared their own stores with you. The same scenarios were repeated and you were becoming an emotional and mental wreck.

After a time, this starts to get old - at least for me because you have to start implementing some boundaries and stop waiting for him to make his next move while you continue to put your life in abeyance. After a while, it was becoming more about your inability to do what was healthy for you, all the
while saying it was because you loved him. I think you need to love and like yourself first; and for someone who will sit silent and still while being spat on and screamed at says more about you than him.

Usually when someone acts defensively to what someone says, as you did to my comments, they know there is truth in what was said. So, I stick with my comments to you and remind you how fortunate you are to still have these people on the board pretty much at your beck and call, who are invested in your situation and still willing to put their time and energy into you.

Dee, I am doing ok I see my lawyer tomorrow.

Hi Marsh,

Please let us know how it went at the lawyers :angel:


Luvya,


Luckygem :wave:

Marsh, instead of running away just take it as constructive critism because that is what it is... If you don't like something she is saying tell her and explain yourself don't run away and bring it up a month later. Your a strong women either take what she says and use it or explain to her why you don't her wording. I'm not sticking up for her, her way of posting is the way I like to be talked to if I'm in a rut but I know it's not for everyone.

Smile, okay your stronger then you think.

Dee-nah, I am not running away and I realize some people have a different way of speaking than I do and that is fine. I was not trying to bring it up again but only explain why I havent really talked about what is going on. If people really knew me they would know that I am not a weak person nor am I a doormat. I guess I expected miracles to happen so my husband would get help. Many of the things I mentioned were things that had happened when we lived together since separated the abuse was not ongoing. Oh, I don't know why I am even trying to explain.

Luckygem, thank you. I was wondering how you are doing?

I want you to explain, if I didn't then I wouldn't purposely ask for you!

Dee-nah, it is just hard for me to hear someone call me a doormat when if they knew my life they would KNOW I am not one. With my husband I put up with things from him I would never from someone else because I felt if he went on meds he would not be that way but the gentle, kind and loving person I knew he could be. I know abuse is wrong in any form but I guess I believe in turn the other cheek up to a point. I had many walls up when we separated. We were not intimate, he had no key to the home and so on. I expected him to be orderly when he came. He wasn't orderly many times but when he felt like tearing down the house he would quickly leave. That was a big step for him because usually he just let the anger flow. It is hard to put into words but believe me I am not a door mat.

Dee-nah, I am not running away and I realize some people have a different way of speaking than I do and that is fine. I was not trying to bring it up again but only explain why I havent really talked about what is going on. If people really knew me they would know that I am not a weak person nor am I a doormat. I guess I expected miracles to happen so my husband would get help. Many of the things I mentioned were things that had happened when we lived together since separated the abuse was not ongoing. Oh, I don't know why I am even trying to explain.

Marshmallow......I used to be a doormat and I'm not ashamed to say it.....can you believe it? me a doormat? Now I knew that was not my style, and that I was stronger than that, but I found myself stuck in that situation.......and like you, I hoped and wished things would be different. Thank God he left me because I might have not had the strength to leave him......but from that point on, I got strong.....I GREW A PAIR, and I know that I will no longer, never ever take abuse from ANYONE again. You need to get to that point. I know you can do it. I don't think what you're upset about was meant to hurt you, I know it was meant to open your eyes and to help you. Sometimes people have to shake you up to get your attention......not just you, anyone in general. Don't stew over it anymore, it was meant as constructive criticism, and it was meant to help you. No one wants to see you unhappy and miserable. We are telling you from experience. I bet everyone here put up with someone elses BS before they moved past that point. You just need to move past that point. Good luck at the lawyer, let us know how it went. We love you Marshmallow and we want the best for you!
:angel:

Rose, thank you for your kind words. I just have to sign some papers today. I had put my lawyer on hold for over a month. I am scared today with a jittery stomach. I do not want to be making a mistake but in my heart I know it is the right thing. Still doubts creep in.

Rose, thank you for your kind words. I just have to sign some papers today. I had put my lawyer on hold for over a month. I am scared today with a jittery stomach. I do not want to be making a mistake but in my heart I know it is the right thing. Still doubts creep in.


marshmallow it is the right thing to do.....
of course you're nervous......I threw up every day when I was going thru this, had no appitite, etc. You need to take your power back.....once you sign those papers, you will feel better. You're doing what you have to do. Like the old saying, if you love something set it free....blah blah blah.....
if it was meant to be, it will come back, etc. If it was meant to be maybe this is what he needs to shake HIM up. If not, you're no farther behind......just do it....like NIKE.....just do it!
:angel:

I hear you. Thanks so much.