:rolleyes::eek: :rolleyes: :yawn: You advice someone not to run away when someone writes something you don't like....Well, what about you? I specially rewrote the letter you asked me to post cause I didn't have it saved in my computer. i wrote it really fast so you had an idea what I had written. I'm sure you viewed it! But obviously It wasn't to your liking. You still could have responded....It's okay.I just feel so judged by you....!:mad:

Dutches are you talking about me? If you are I was not allowed on the board on for a while = ( I was bad AND I did post, it was removed.

I have the up most respect for you and trust me I don't say that about a lot of people. You know me better then that..

....oohh! I thought you were disappointed by my writing skill and decided just to ignore me...sorry, for accusing you in a round about way for being thought less.My own insecurities... I thought it was wired you just disappeared, plus I guess I was anxious to hear some of your constructive criticism.

What do you mean you were bad?...your meds?....hope not your ex!!!Anyway...Are you okay?

If you still remember, what did you think of the contend of the letter. It's not about oprah for me it's about my expression bout being with someone that has BP. Did it sound offensive?...I hope not.

I did something I wasn't suppose to do on the site......

I LOVED IT, I wrote that I was proud of you and it's amazing how we posted for sooo long about your topic and look where you are now = )

I put a lot of other stuff too but I can't remember...

It wasn't offensive at all ,I think it was beautifully written, honestly!

I loved the letter - I really did. I was only offering to edit it because of a couple grammatical errors. I have NO intentions of changing the content because that was EXCELLENT!! Sorry if I offended you. :(

She was coming after me = ) I'm hysterical laughing, you wanted to fight me!!! I'm not tuff but I'm fast, Dutches!!!

lol!!!! You guys made my day!!! Thank you! Yes, I was after Deenah, but didn't want to put it on blast...yup I was pissed...box, box!!lol!

I'm sooo happy you liked it! I feel like a kid right now. Smile. I'm so nose...what did you do on the site?

Paige, I would have loved for you to edit it. I'm dysletic (can't even spell that by now...smile) No offends taken. thankfull, you offered to help me.How are your exams going?

I'm still smiling; I was so sure I had offended everyone with my words though I was just trying to.... I don't know..... I just want to world to know more about this illness and what people are going threw I guess!! Maybe it’s just my way of dealing with my experience. Anyway Thanx.

Ugh, exams. >.> Some of them are okay, but that doesn't include chemistry or trig. >.< The rest are mediocre at best because of all the school I missed second semester. I have French tomorrow and that'll be....interesting at best. I was really good at French until I missed school...then I kinda fell off the bandwagon. So I have to work at that one. Plus have two projects in lieu of an exam due for AP English...half-finished with one and not started the other. -___- But I'll get it done somehow. I always manage. :P

ahhh, you sound like a very smart cookie I'm sure you will manage! Good luck!

what I do feel is the LOVE....my Dutches!

I'm not allowed to give that information out, you know what I mean ;)

You didn't offend ANYONE, usually I'm the one that gets offensive and I thought it was beautiful, really I did!

That is another thing I said... I said it must of been theraputic to be able to wright that. I did write a bunch of things but my memory is crap!

I'm really proud of you!

Paige, good luck in your exams, you do sound like a smart cookie! I'm sure you will have no problems, keep us posted.

Paige I hope you kick some major educational bootie in the exams! :D

Dutches,

I thought it was presented well and wonderful to read. I hope you do send it to her and that she does it. Education is so important especially when some peeps think Bipolar is like either a basket or some freaky new car. lol sad but true Good job! Sorry others didn't get to read it or reply as it was deleted.

Eme:angel:

Thank you 114, I did send it. But like Paige had mentioned I think I need to re edit the last one I wrote (I saved it this time) Oprah must get millions of emails every day so I'm sure till anyone picks up on my email I would have to summit it every day for the next months. Which I will!! I'm determent.... day dreaming.... >>>>>It would be hilarious if we all :wave: somehow were invited to the show and got to see in person>>>> anyway, don't want to push my luck here and get deleted again. Smile


Deenah, not to make you less proud of me.... but I still miss her like Hell!!! Of course not the Sommer I had in my house for two weeks...!

I can't help but wonder, now that they have her on meds in jail if she will remember what she did, how she used and ****anly abused me or if she will block it out and just accuse me for putting her in a bad situation. I guess I will never know.... darnn!

Could you imagine if we went to Harpo studio?? HA, I always wanted to sat Harpo Studios = )

Dutches, I would of questioned you if you didn't. Love is not an on and off switch (even though I wish it was).. As far as what to expect from her... Don't expect anything, you won't get hurt that way.

Harpo studio,......yeah that would be Assume!!!You know if we all write we can make it happen!

It's so funny how I still keep turning a 380 on myself. One minute I miss her, next min. I realize she really wasn't a honest and trust worthy person and I don't think that has anything to do with her being BP. I think it's my idea of her and who she made me believe she was that I still miss..! I just have to keep checking myself.

How are you doing? how is the 200mg of teg. serving you?

were is Mallissa8? is she still around?

All together I have to start taking 400mgs, when I was sick before it was from the 1st 200mgs, I didn't even start the other 200mgs.... Not looking forward to it = )

It could of been her personality, I think her being out of control is definitely the bipolar though.. Honestly I think there is more to it then Bipolar.

You are doing good, give yourself some credit..

I've seen Mallissa8 around, I don't think she has started a post of her own but she has been posting. I will start a post for her to see how she is doing.

I can't imagen going threw what you and others go threw with finding the right meds....":*(
I really do commend you for keeping it together!!!! You know what they say....it could be worse....but from your additute I'm sure you count your blessings : )

I know her being out of controle was the bp, but I agree, I think out side from her bp shes a little manipulating.... puta..sorry... !

I think I have ADD......! I wrote a post in the ADD section but they are not as responsive as the bp people... I have to laugh... that reminds me why my ex loved to talk and go on and on about things...lol...lol... sorry having a moment.

They do say that hanging out with Bp people is fun! Seriously they say that.... We like having a good time and a good laugh, they just don't say it when we crash = )

Lol...yeah, we sure did have some fun times.... Like I said, she knew how to keep me on my feet. But the way I saw her crash...wow!
That puts a whole new definition on taking the good with the bad; )

But honestly if I knew she truly loved me and was going to stay on her meds and do therapy I would consider taking her back....! However, thank god I don't have to think about that cause she isn't that far along with her self...!

Does your ex still contact you? Or are you seing someone else already?

NO contact with the ex, we tried but it didn't work out.. I'm not allowed to see anyone right now = ) I'm trying to take care of myself first and then date... It sucks!

yeah....!That sounds like a good plan.

I'm in the same boat! No dating for a while.....I'm actually fine with that, need all my energy for myself...im sure you do too... I think I'm going to resque a cat this weekend....A dog is so too much work???!!!

I had a cat, then got a dog, I have a 9 year old son.... Nothing replaces being in someones arms (well the 9 year old does but you know what I mean) , ya know... Then they open there mouth = )

She was coming after me = ) I'm hysterical laughing, you wanted to fight me!!! I'm not tuff but I'm fast, Dutches!!!

Don't let her kid you Dutchess, Dee-nah "ain't no holla back girl"...I'm sure she has a piercing or two and maybe even a tat :cool: LOL!

Dee-nah, You were temporarily banned? AWESOME! You are so bad *** :D
Next time I wear my black and white skull/skeleton scarf, I'm gonna think of you :wave:


Luvya guys,



Luckygem


PS Dutches, Kudos to you for informing Oprah, someones gotta do it :angel:

lol...I bet she does!!!

yeah I realy hope she does a show on it.

How are you Lucky?what's going on in your world?

Hi Dutches,

I'm stressed about my (17 year old's) son's arrest. I want him to learn a lesson but at the same time I am hearing from everyone that was there that the police really went overboard. The thing is, my city is overrun with Police. I'm not sure of every rule here on this board but I'll just say my city is where "Central Command" is located. Cops are everywhere, and I'm afraid some of them do abuse their power....or maybe it's just the new generation. One of the bystanders called me....so sympathetic, said he couldn't believe they arrested my son. It's tough, but it's tough all around. I know lots of others that are getting arrested for things that were unheard of 20 years ago. I think this is overkill and if "the people" revolt...Oh, what a headache...this country will have problems. I grew up thinking and believing with all my heart that the police were on my side and were there "to serve and protect", slowly things have changed (IMHO), atleast in this state...very sad. I don't want my son to know how I feel, mind you, but...I am not happy : ( How do you charge a kid with "battery" when he threw an empty plastic bottle that didn't hit anyone...."attempted battery" at the least I'm thinking? Go figure....this is a huge mess : ( It has been such a long road to get my son to get his act together....and lately he has been doing so well, I just don't want to break his spirit....he has been throught so much. He has had 15 surgeries and has ADD/Bipolar, with a Bipolar dad...no picnic, Ugh!

I hope to see you on Oprah!.....Luckygem :wave:

I do not, well one on my hip that I got when I was 16 (i'm 33)... I'm a good girl, LOL... Trouble finds me, I'm convinced = ) I was Lucky but I'm back with vengence (do you hear the music in the back round)?

So how is everyone doing?

Lucky, I'm sorry to hear about your son. I agree with you the police are getting more and more brutal. To charge a 17 year old with batter for throwing an empty plastic bottle... which didn't even hit anyone is quite over the top. I read your post...didn't they also called the pedestrian a name or two? If it was a rashes or sexual oriented insult then I must say it's good they got to feel a hard repecation of it.... cause that might save there life in the future, in case they did it to the wrong person.... Like DeeNAh...hihih

However, as a mother I know it must be stressing you out... I heard having teenagers isn't a piece of cake...add some ADD and BP to the mix...it's party time. I'm 32 and childless so I have absolutely no idea what that must feel like.... wait I was married once, before I turned to girls, and that was like having a child...Anyway, good luck on handeling the matter.

Deenah, your back! Have you bin getting into some troubles... cause I can hear the music.....!
What's up? How are you?

Dutches,

Yes one of the boys (not my son) yelled a derogatory word to describe a homosexual. They are not "gay bashers" it's part of the teen vernacular. I know, I read their IM's to make sure they don't get into trouble...they throw around a lot of terms very loosely on the IM's to each other as a way of showing friendship. Like I am so close to you I can call you this and that. "Supbiotch"....that kind of thing. HOWEVER. I made very sure they were aware of what is a "hate crime" and there is zero tolerance. I'm friends with a few gay people so my kids were just raised around that. We accept everybody in this family. In fact they're always telling me when the show "workout" comes on because they know I love it. It has some gay themes, in case you haven't seen it. I love that show.

Dee-nah,

Yea, I think ya got some "biker chick" in ya ; )

Nooooooo! Not biker chick the exact opposite, I will bite though so don't mess with me = )

I'm doing good, trying my best to stay out of trouble, I swear it does come and finds me. I'm just a little "lost" in the head right now (best way to describe it)... Do you get that way Lucky?

I've been reading your post Lucky, sorry for what you are going through. My son is 9 looks like I have a lot to look forward too..

My Dutches.... Any word from Sommer??

OK, June Cleaver with a "bite" and an old hip tatoo from her teen years :D

Yeah, just brace yourself for teenage boys, 9...Oh yes, those were the good old days :)

Nah... More like Sharon Osbourne, I'm 33 though and in my prime = ) I will bite, pick up a rock AND 15 min later I will forget what I did and be in a good mood....

lol...you two crack me up!!
Lucky, glad your kids are not homophobic I guess deenah can come for dinner to your house after all...lol!!! Sorry Deenah, it was lucky fault, with her biker jokes! I will stop though..cause I'am scared of your bite!!!

Deenah, I haven't heard from winter... (I’m preparing myself emotionally to be strong so I'm referring to her as my least desired season from now on, incase she does contact me) Her court case is on the 27th and she can't call me, as fare as I know they can't call cell phones from jail, praises the lord!

I will bite, pick up a rock AND 15 min later I will forget what I did and be in a good mood....

Oh, A "rapid cycler" ? Yeah, you'll fit right in around here :cool:

Are you sure, Lucky? I'm more of a Nicole Richie fan and not a Paris Hilton... I don't know how well you will take that...

Just for that Dutches you are going to be my date, lol!

Winter... That is great!

lol...date?....better watch the flirting deenah, don't forget i'm the lesbo here....and I will be seing both of you at the harpo studios!.....just kidding...not!....lol!

Deenah, I knew "you" would appreciate....the winter!

Obviously I'm not doing to well in the men department, LOL!

lol,lol,lol...what do you think made me switch!!! But once you go ....it's hard to go back!lol.

P.S> It's Winters birthday 2morw. June 23, and I'm starting to freak out!
I'm crying just thinking about her in jail.... but knowing her she probably already has a jail "mate" and is having a ball!!!! ...Ok that was a good "grouse" thought, it just stopped the tears! I should probably create a little daydream about that scenario...

I'm just emotional cause I’m pms......!

Sooooo sorry it took me so long to edit the BP Letter. :-/ And I couldn't find the old thread so I figured I'd post it here. :)

Bipolar? Have you ever been told by someone you loved; “I don’t have a problem bashing your skull against the wall and watching your blood run down all over, I will even sit here and wait for the police to come get me”? What is Bipolar and do we know the disease that well?

In April 2006 I met my girlfriend, Sommer, 33, at a club. We started dating and she told me she was Bipolar and was taking medication for it. I didn’t pay it much attention I figured it was something medication could take care of. But really I didn’t have a clue what bipolar (bp) entails. She is very charismatic person so I figured it wasn’t something to be too worried about. She is a collage graduate and was a very thought after basketball player and received many offers for a scholarship. She cares a great deal for children and is still a big kid at heart.

Growing up she had a lot of friend and many people in her community, Anaheim, had their hopes up for her to be the next big thing. When away at college at 22 in Texas, things started to go down hill for her. It wasn’t until she was 26 when she was diagnosed with BP/ Borderline homicidal, suicidal disorder. I know she had some traumatizing things happen to her during child hood, but she seemed to be handling it all right.

We practically lived together during the 10 months we were a couple. She was the most loving and supportive person. Her sensitivity and wideness always managed to keep a smile on my face. Things were going well between us; of course we had our ups and downs, like in any other relationship. Until, April of 2007 we had a fall out over a silly argument, we broke up and went our separate ways.

During the separation I notice she was writing very hostile and threatening freestyle blogging on her My Space about me. It scared the daylights out of me and I got a restraining order. I couldn’t believe these messages were from the same person I knew as my girlfriend. She stopped writing after she received the restraining order so I thought she had calmed down and moved on. I had done some resource on bipolar people during the 8 weeks we were separated and I felt bad cause I realized I had made a couple mistakes due to my lack of knowledge of her mental illness. So I sent her an email apologizing for my ignorance in a couple of matters. She called me the very same day and we decided right there and then to give it another try and start over. I felt we deserved another try and this time I would be a better partner. …But I was up for a HUGE surprise!

I didn’t know that after our break up, two months prior, she had stopped taking her medication and never got back on them. When she came back to me she was a completely different person. Until you see someone in a MANIA, you have no idea what your up against. It’s like, ohhh that’s the monster you were trying to control. Now I understand her struggles. She stayed at my house and it was a living hell! Every two minutes her moods would change, any little thing would send her into a raging anger. From the radio station not playing the song to the end, me using the bathroom when she had to go would lead her to call me names and threaten my life, If you asked her any questions she would explode, a man on the street looking at her in a curtain way could make her go after him with a hand made weapon. Her favored used words were The “B” word and the “N” word. There were so many triggers that you couldn’t say anything to her but be silence, and even that could annoy her enough to make her verbally assault you. It’s like she had a very bad cause of tuddrest syndrome only it seems like she knew actually what she was doing, she was always a step ahead of everyone and had a underlining tension were you faired she could actually snap at any moment and kill you. She thought people were out to get her, which made her paranoid about every thing you said around her. I was afraid for my life.

She had turned into a creature from HELL! Where was the Sommer I was in love with? It was the scariest transformation I ever experienced. She was in so much rage like a wild animal. A lot has happened since then and it’s a long story but she’s in prison now (with Paris Hilton); I had to call the police for help and due to some other charges she supposedly done during this time, they kept her in jail. She is receiving her medicating in jail so hopefully when she gets out she will be under control again. Which could be end of June 2007. Though I love her still, I don’t foresee us getting back together. However, going through this traumatizing experience has made me want to understand people with the Illness BP. I found an Internet site were people with BP and also family members that have children, very young children and partners, with illnesses of this nature. I met some great people on the site and some of the stories are heartbreaking. It such a hard illness to coop with cause:

A) There isn’t just one medication that can control it. Since everyone has a different chemical reactions in there brain to the various meds, it can take years of trails and errors to find the right balance which can be very frustrating for all people involved.

B) Society views people with mental illnesses as something they brought on themselves. So the social support system isn’t very compassionate. Unlike a physical handicap, people are not familiar with the symptoms so when they encounter such symptoms, it scares them.

C) Work? It can be hard to keep a job when everyday you have to deal with your mood swings, add some PMS to it for us women ….I rest my case.

With out a loving family and or very understanding friend it must be like going through hell and back all by your self. With out a support system a lot of them turn to recreational drugs, which really trigger the mania, and they can end up on the streets.

It is scary to deal with people who can be unpredictable but they too need to be loved and part of society! We need to talk about this Oprah, because the only time you hear about BP is when someone snapped and you hear it on the news; the mental Ill person blew someone’s brains out or better yet a whole class room, then they turned around and killed themselves. Why don’t we talk about them and their struggles coping with this illness, before they come to a snapping point. Not all Bp people are homicidal or suicidal. But their isolation does make their illness worse, like it would for any of us with any Illness. What about the teenagers, can you imagine having mood swings and a rage that makes you do or say thing you regret a day later. Better yet, you don’t even remember what you did, but your confronted by it the next day you go to school. How hard must it be to maintain friendships?

What causes someone to becoming BP? At one point in there life they were just innocent children, a son or daughter of a mother and father.

When you deal with a person that is in a mania or being manic it’s very hard to realize they are human beings with a mental illness. I’ve been doing a lot of resource on this and am amazed as to how many people and loved ones are suffering because of this illness. BP people have very similar behaviors patterns and are all extremely filled with pain; rage and they can be masterminds in manipulation.

During our relationship my ex didn’t drink much or do any drugs. But when I saw her off her meds she was smoking 3=4 packs of cigarettes a day and balancing weed and alcohol to keep her on a mania high so she wouldn’t crash into a depression which would have lead her to become suicidal. It was heart breaking and scary to watch this smart girl whom I love destroy herself and was willing to take everyone around her down with her, even the people who love her. But I couldn’t help but see all her actions as a cry for help. Yes, she could have checked her self into a mental facility, which she did when twice for a day and the doctors released her, stating she is fine. But she wasn’t! And nobody really wants to be in those types of facilities.

On a positive note, BP people can be the most loving, intelligent and passionate people you’ll ever meet. I hope my ex will check herself into a mental hospital once they release her from jail. What she really needs right now is a lot of love and support and above all therapy? If not I’m afraid she will give up.

Bp people have a very bad rap though there are quiet a few celebrities and successful people that deal with this illness, to name a few; Martine Lawrence, Ned Beatty, Lili Taylor, Robert Downey Jr., Blake Le Vine, Robert Schumann, Dick Cavett, Robert William, Ernest Hemingway…. Act, but unfortunately for this society they don’t reveal themselves. Unlike cancer or the Parkinson disease it’s pushed under the carpet and viewed as an illness that the people brought on themselves.

Questions: Why isn’t there a requirement for People who receive disability for a mental illness of this nature to have to take a drug test on a regular basic, in order to control their medication intake, and also to monitor that they are not using any recreational drugs that could send them into a mania which could lead to endangering innocent people in the society. Also have them complete a certain amount of therapy so they learn coping skills with there own illness. Bp people tend to have no money skills due to their impulsive behavior, no communication skills and a lack of coping skills.

They do need to take responsibility for their mental illness, some people just don’t get it and they chose to escape into a mania; were they are the masters of their own world and no one can touch them in this place. However, the repercussions are can be over whelming. They hurt people and sometimes end up in jail but they all crash and fall into a deep depressions. As a community it’s part of our responsibility to take care of the mentally ill, like Mother Teresa would say, not to ignore them but help them help themselves. A lot of Bp people have learned to accept the fact that taking their meds is the only way to maintain a life. But for the ones who haven’t it’s a constant struggle and they are truly playing with fire!

According to the NIMH, they estimated that 2.6 percent of the U.S. population, or roughly 5.7 million American adults, suffered from bipolar disorder in any given year.

BRAVO, Dutches and Paige!

YEAHHHHH I got it Paige.thank you,thank you THANK YOU..(((((HUGS)))))))

Do we need to delete it now? so they won't ???