Hi all,

I'm new to this particular area of the board. Even though I don't really have to "take care" of my mom, I thought this would be the best place to post.

My mom has severe COPD and just went home from heart surgery. She is actually doing well considering her circumstances but I am a wreck. I am not a person who should be taking care of anyone, I can barely take care of myself. :)

I am finding it really stressful worrying about her and it is making me feel very sad. I know it has only been 2 days that she has been home and I should be patient and let things smooth out but I feel like crap. The last 3 weeks have been very hard on me. When I wasn't at work I was at the hospital. I've hardly seen my husband. There is no other family on my side to support and help, all the responsibilities fall on me.

I just feel overwhelmed right now. Thanks all for reading...

Hi Mikesgirl...
How is your mom doing? Does she live far from you? How much help exactly does she need? If she is able to manage with a little amount of help, you shouldnt worry yourself so much. You have issues of your own, and can only do so much. How is her health? If she needs round the clock care, you are for sure going to need some help.

Carsam

Worrying and stressing about your mother does no one good. And it can lead to a decline in your health. And if that happens there will be no one to care for your mom.
You will not be a horrible daughter or person if you do not care for your mother. And care is not all or nothing.
Depending on your mother's age and finances you can sit down and work out a plan for her care. If your mother owns her home or has savings you may want to sit down with a trust professional. If mom can make funeral arrangements ahead of time that would also be helpful, but if not it might be something that you can look into now while no one is dead. It is much harder and cost more if you wait to the time of death.
Does she have any long term care insurance?
Doing all of this helps YOU and your mom.
You might want to talk to a Social Worker, lawyer and people in the Senior Center where your mother lives, they can provide a wealth of knowledge and resources.