beka6
06-30-2007, 04:41 PM
In my eternal quest of figuring out what makes me tick - I have discovered yet, another trigger.... Being taken for granted. Right now, I have several independent situations (mostly work related) where people are throwing expectations at me that are just plain ridiculous. I am struggling to set boundaries, but even when I do, I am finding that I am still so ANGRY at these people for their unbelievable expectations in the first place. I know it probably stems from my own stress right now, but I am just so mad at the moment.
I'm trying to figure out where this is all coming from - whether it's deep seeded family of origin trauma stuff, or whether it comes from just feeling helpless and disrespected. All I know is that I have such a powerful reaction when I feel like I'm being taken advantage of.
Thanks for letting me vent.... I am going nutty today! :dizzy:
Beka
I'm trying to figure out where this is all coming from - whether it's deep seeded family of origin trauma stuff, or whether it comes from just feeling helpless and disrespected. All I know is that I have such a powerful reaction when I feel like I'm being taken advantage of.
Thanks for letting me vent.... I am going nutty today! :dizzy:
Beka
Sponsor
Sannah
07-01-2007, 09:06 AM
Beka, you are really uncovering a lot of stuff! I would guess that all of your past feelings about these topics of feeling helpless, disrespected and taken for granted are all involved here. Discovering the issue is the first step in solving it and you WILL solve this with your determination and intelligence! Keep venting as needed!
beka6
07-01-2007, 01:53 PM
Sannah,
Thanks for your reply. How are you these days? I think you are right - the anger is fueled by so much past junk. Usually, when I feel angry, I bottle it up. Yesterday, though, I let it out in a few healthy ways. It made such a difference in how I felt!
Thanks, again, Sannah!
Beka
Thanks for your reply. How are you these days? I think you are right - the anger is fueled by so much past junk. Usually, when I feel angry, I bottle it up. Yesterday, though, I let it out in a few healthy ways. It made such a difference in how I felt!
Thanks, again, Sannah!
Beka
Nyxie63
07-02-2007, 06:52 AM
Beka,
Maybe try to think of it this way - these people must think a great deal of you if they expect so much from you. You've probably proven yourself to be extremely capable and responsible. While these are great assets, they can also be burdens as well, especially when it becomes expected of you all the time.
Maybe try to think of it this way - these people must think a great deal of you if they expect so much from you. You've probably proven yourself to be extremely capable and responsible. While these are great assets, they can also be burdens as well, especially when it becomes expected of you all the time.
ICC
07-02-2007, 07:25 AM
Hi Beka....Sannah and Nyxie are both right. I suffered through the same dilemna at work for many years. I was , in my boss's words, his best supervisor. Hence all being expected of me. I was flattered many years ago and due to the lack of any sort of praise from my mother I kept going and going. Then ended up resenting it. So you see although it started with the family we tend to carry this behaniour over into other areas of life since underneath we are pleased that we are so respected and then it turns on us when there are no boundaries and we burn ourselves out. Anger attacks. This is what I meant. You understand totally.
Grasshopper
Grasshopper
beka6
07-02-2007, 08:03 AM
Nyxie,
Thanks for your kind words - I've never thought about it like that before. I have a tendancy to do too much for people, instead of encouraging them to stand on their own two feet. I need to change that. I hope you are doing well, Nyxie!
ICC,
The pattern you described is EXACTLY what happens! You are right on! I have never been able to put it into words before. So... thank you!
I hope you are okay, Grasshopper. I have been thinking so much about you. I hope the past few days have gone as smoothly as possible.
:)
Beka
Thanks for your kind words - I've never thought about it like that before. I have a tendancy to do too much for people, instead of encouraging them to stand on their own two feet. I need to change that. I hope you are doing well, Nyxie!
ICC,
The pattern you described is EXACTLY what happens! You are right on! I have never been able to put it into words before. So... thank you!
I hope you are okay, Grasshopper. I have been thinking so much about you. I hope the past few days have gone as smoothly as possible.
:)
Beka
ICC
07-02-2007, 08:09 AM
Morning Beka......Other than the physical pain, I'm fine. Glad I could help. Can I do anything else for you?
Grasshopper
Grasshopper
Sannah
07-02-2007, 11:15 AM
Beka, glad to hear that you released your anger in some healthy ways. You are so quick to solve problems!!!!!! Once you find your issue and then understand it you are on your way!!!!! I am good Beka, thanks!
beka6
07-02-2007, 11:31 PM
Sannah,
You are so motivating! I guess I'm acting on whatever info I can get because I feel pretty desperate to change. I guess I needed to get to this stage before I could really progress. Glad to hear that you are well!
Grasshopper,
Can you do anything else for me?? How about - can I do anything else for YOU?? :) I keep looking for you elsewhere on healthboards, just in case you are able to post an update on other issues. You are so supportive and have helped me a lot in my PTSD journey so far. Thank you!
Beka
You are so motivating! I guess I'm acting on whatever info I can get because I feel pretty desperate to change. I guess I needed to get to this stage before I could really progress. Glad to hear that you are well!
Grasshopper,
Can you do anything else for me?? How about - can I do anything else for YOU?? :) I keep looking for you elsewhere on healthboards, just in case you are able to post an update on other issues. You are so supportive and have helped me a lot in my PTSD journey so far. Thank you!
Beka
ICC
07-03-2007, 06:21 AM
Beka.....You are amazing. I am so glad we met. You are right on it. You find the issue and deal with it. Good for you, I am proud of you. It's hard, but i know you'll make it. You have the determination it takes.
I see the shoulder surgeon today. Saw the Spine specialist yesterday and he ordered an MRI since he feels I suffered a Brachial plexus injury.:dizzy: Don't know how, when. But I do know I am not happy with what I've read about this particular injury. Keep looking I WILL be other places on the boards once I have a definite dx and some relief from this horrrible pain.
Grasshopper
I see the shoulder surgeon today. Saw the Spine specialist yesterday and he ordered an MRI since he feels I suffered a Brachial plexus injury.:dizzy: Don't know how, when. But I do know I am not happy with what I've read about this particular injury. Keep looking I WILL be other places on the boards once I have a definite dx and some relief from this horrrible pain.
Grasshopper
corina64
07-03-2007, 01:45 PM
Hey Beka, I just wanted to say Hi! I am sorry that I haven't been here for a while but I have been going through a lot :dizzy: I still have been thinking about you and I hope that everything is going well for you :) In my journey with PTSD there is a quote that keeps poping in my head "keep moving forward" sometimes when my days are bad from this that is what I focus on and keep repeating. I know that I am new to this, but that is the only thing that gets me through my bad days. I found a new trigger myself yesterday. When I get sworn at or called names I lose it! Everyday I find something and try to fix it so I won't feel so crazy :dizzy: Anyway, I just wanted to say hi! Take care,
Corina
Corina
beka6
07-06-2007, 03:39 PM
Hi Corina,
Thank you for your kind words here. I love that saying, too - KEEP MOVING FORWARD! That was the only thing that I remember from having to watch Meet the Robinsons with my kids! :)
I hope things are somehow resolving for you today.
Beka
ps. Identifying the triggers is a HUGE part of getting healthy. I love your attitude - how you find something to work on every day. You're going to make it through all of this, Corina! Take care of yourself today! :)
Thank you for your kind words here. I love that saying, too - KEEP MOVING FORWARD! That was the only thing that I remember from having to watch Meet the Robinsons with my kids! :)
I hope things are somehow resolving for you today.
Beka
ps. Identifying the triggers is a HUGE part of getting healthy. I love your attitude - how you find something to work on every day. You're going to make it through all of this, Corina! Take care of yourself today! :)