Phoenix
07-04-2007, 09:39 PM
To all:
As I see my pdoc tomorrow and not a moment too soon.
It's one thing to deal with your own issues but when others "invite" themselves at their own leisure, it only adds to the confusion.
When i refer to others, i am referring to family members.
Ryan
As I see my pdoc tomorrow and not a moment too soon.
It's one thing to deal with your own issues but when others "invite" themselves at their own leisure, it only adds to the confusion.
When i refer to others, i am referring to family members.
Ryan
Sponsor
Dee-nah
07-04-2007, 10:03 PM
FTM, you have to step up and explain that you can't take on other people's problems right now. You need to focus on yourself and the situation your in to make it work....
Good Luck, Ryan.
Good Luck, Ryan.
isitme
07-05-2007, 05:44 AM
It show what a 100% giving person you are. I understand the confusion. Take it one step at a time, one issue at a time. It will all come together in the end. (I'm still waiting for the last bit). :)
ICC
07-05-2007, 07:55 AM
Hi Ryan......Amazing how people feel right at home in your mind isn't it?:dizzy: I walked away from my daughter and husband yesterday. Just went up to my room. I have so much going on physically and every week something new comes out. They weren't doing anything wrong. Just going on about some of their own stuff and I can't take it. I just don't have it in me to even listen to things that can be handled very easily. This is the most selfish I have ever been in my life but also the most never ending pain I have ever been in. I am afraid I feel somewhat traumatized from PT, so I guess my PTSD is on the forefront now. I take it that your father is beind this? Would like to post my physical ailments but arent' sure on what thread yet. Beka asked the other day. She said she was looking around for me. There is no shoulder board, Brachial Plexus board. So I am thinking maybe the spine board might be my best bet.
:( Grasshopper
:( Grasshopper
Survivor 1957
07-05-2007, 08:42 AM
Ftm, I Did Not Go To Family Gathering Yesterday Because I Could Not Handel Their Stuff.. I Told Alittle White Lie That I Had Just Got Home And My Leg Was Bothering Me And I Would See Them At A Later Date...it Is The Only Way I Can Get Through Some Times. The Family Gatherings Are The Worst...they Do Ot Know My "issues" And I Cant Handle Their "stuff" Seperation At This Time Works For Me.
K
K
ICC
07-05-2007, 09:15 AM
Me too, K.:(
Phoenix
07-05-2007, 09:32 AM
FTM, you have to step up and explain that you can't take on other people's problems right now. You need to focus on yourself and the situation your in to make it work....
Good Luck, Ryan.
Dee:
I don't know if i explained this, but my uncle's brother put alcahol in my daughter's drink approximately two weeks ago.
She was wise enough not to taste it but it goes to show you what "f'd" up family members I have.
My father doesn't even call his brother on it, as it is too close to his wedding day(in October).
I'm writing off his side of the family and if he doesn't pay close attention, he will be getting re-married minus both a grandaughter and son.
Ryan
Good Luck, Ryan.
Dee:
I don't know if i explained this, but my uncle's brother put alcahol in my daughter's drink approximately two weeks ago.
She was wise enough not to taste it but it goes to show you what "f'd" up family members I have.
My father doesn't even call his brother on it, as it is too close to his wedding day(in October).
I'm writing off his side of the family and if he doesn't pay close attention, he will be getting re-married minus both a grandaughter and son.
Ryan
Phoenix
07-05-2007, 09:34 AM
It show what a 100% giving person you are. I understand the confusion. Take it one step at a time, one issue at a time. It will all come together in the end. (I'm still waiting for the last bit). :)
Isitme:
That is my curse(at least that's how I see it at times).
I am prayong that things come together because I can only take so much more.
Ryan
Isitme:
That is my curse(at least that's how I see it at times).
I am prayong that things come together because I can only take so much more.
Ryan
Phoenix
07-05-2007, 10:09 AM
Hi Ryan......Amazing how people feel right at home in your mind isn't it?:dizzy: I walked away from my daughter and husband yesterday. Just went up to my room. I have so much going on physically and every week something new comes out. They weren't doing anything wrong. Just going on about some of their own stuff and I can't take it. I just don't have it in me to even listen to things that can be handled very easily. This is the most selfish I have ever been in my life but also the most never ending pain I have ever been in. I am afraid I feel somewhat traumatized from PT, so I guess my PTSD is on the forefront now. I take it that your father is beind this? Would like to post my physical ailments but arent' sure on what thread yet. Beka asked the other day. She said she was looking around for me. There is no shoulder board, Brachial Plexus board. So I am thinking maybe the spine board might be my best bet.
:( Grasshopper
Grasshopper:
I understand what you are saying.
I guess that i'm going to have to come out with a book entitled:
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PAIN
I'm talking from the perspective of a person in pain.
It's getting to the point that I am getting tired of the testing,injections, surgeries, etc. I'm a victim and like you said, I also feel traumatized from those who are in a position to heal.
My father's family puts demands on me and I only oblige because it is a means to an end.
I do for them until my father gets married; then i'm deserting the lot of them.
My father doesn't help either. He tells everyone that I have arthritis :mad: .
I recently applied for my handicapped parking permit and he says not to tell anyone but first opportunity he gets, he tells his fiancee.
I had my mail coming to his address because the tenants where I live have been known to intercept my mail.
He opens my mail and reads it, as if he is my personal screener........
That's why i just rented a PO box.
He asked me what was wrong and I blew up at him, telling him that he doesn't understand what is going on with me.
I went on to explain that I don't have the cane and lumbar support for show and how could he tell me not to have surgery when nothing else is working?
If my father views it as being self-centered, so be it. I am not going to have a nervous breakdown on his watch. Oh would his family members love to hear that.:rolleyes:
Until he walks as much as a step in my shoes, he is not qualified to tell me about my pain.
Honestly he couldn't get married soon enough for me.
Ryan:dizzy:
:( Grasshopper
Grasshopper:
I understand what you are saying.
I guess that i'm going to have to come out with a book entitled:
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PAIN
I'm talking from the perspective of a person in pain.
It's getting to the point that I am getting tired of the testing,injections, surgeries, etc. I'm a victim and like you said, I also feel traumatized from those who are in a position to heal.
My father's family puts demands on me and I only oblige because it is a means to an end.
I do for them until my father gets married; then i'm deserting the lot of them.
My father doesn't help either. He tells everyone that I have arthritis :mad: .
I recently applied for my handicapped parking permit and he says not to tell anyone but first opportunity he gets, he tells his fiancee.
I had my mail coming to his address because the tenants where I live have been known to intercept my mail.
He opens my mail and reads it, as if he is my personal screener........
That's why i just rented a PO box.
He asked me what was wrong and I blew up at him, telling him that he doesn't understand what is going on with me.
I went on to explain that I don't have the cane and lumbar support for show and how could he tell me not to have surgery when nothing else is working?
If my father views it as being self-centered, so be it. I am not going to have a nervous breakdown on his watch. Oh would his family members love to hear that.:rolleyes:
Until he walks as much as a step in my shoes, he is not qualified to tell me about my pain.
Honestly he couldn't get married soon enough for me.
Ryan:dizzy:
Phoenix
07-05-2007, 10:17 AM
Ftm, I Did Not Go To Family Gathering Yesterday Because I Could Not Handel Their Stuff.. I Told Alittle White Lie That I Had Just Got Home And My Leg Was Bothering Me And I Would See Them At A Later Date...it Is The Only Way I Can Get Through Some Times. The Family Gatherings Are The Worst...they Do Ot Know My "issues" And I Cant Handle Their "stuff" Seperation At This Time Works For Me.
K
K:
That is exactly how I intend on handling my family members and had no qualms about telling my father so.
Their issues will not bleed into mines; I refuse to allow it any more.
Being kind and courteous is definitely the way to go.
On the flip-side, if they really knew what I was thinking, they'd probably twist it and spin it to their advantage anyway.
Ryan
K
K:
That is exactly how I intend on handling my family members and had no qualms about telling my father so.
Their issues will not bleed into mines; I refuse to allow it any more.
Being kind and courteous is definitely the way to go.
On the flip-side, if they really knew what I was thinking, they'd probably twist it and spin it to their advantage anyway.
Ryan
Sannah
07-05-2007, 12:13 PM
Ryan, it sounds like your dad doesn't respect your boundaries. He opens you rmail and tells everyone your business.
He tells you that YOU are self-centered? I guess if he can't be the center of attention then this is the way he sees it.....
Glad to hear that you are discussing your father here.
He tells you that YOU are self-centered? I guess if he can't be the center of attention then this is the way he sees it.....
Glad to hear that you are discussing your father here.
ICC
07-05-2007, 01:11 PM
Hi Ryan....My turn on this is that YOU CANNOT wait until OCt. when your father gets married to stop this BS from HIS family. The uncle I would rip a new butt! That's a disgrace. Your father has invaded your most personal privacy and needs to stop. Put the boundaries up now and begin to live your life. You have enough with the physical crap that there is no end too as You know I know. I said in my last post "this is the most selfish I have been in my life" I am not being selfish. I am taking care of Grasshopper. Enough is enough. You know we are good people but Dear Lord when we are down and out everyone has to fend for themselves. I hear anger for the first time in your words and am glad for that. It gives you strength and determination when used in the right way and not AGAINST yourself! You're on the right path my friend. Keep it coming.
Grasshopper
Grasshopper
Survivor 1957
07-06-2007, 01:29 PM
I agree what is being said here. look after yourself, the family issues seem to eat at us the most. i did not go to the gathering at faters day or the 4th or memorial day. cant bye into the crap...i dont like being alone but it sure is better then going to a family gathering and dieing inside when i get home. all the work to improve goes out the window whe i dont protect myself.
k
k
beka6
07-06-2007, 02:56 PM
Wow, all I can say is - Grasshopper, you go, girlfriend!! :)
Ryan, the things you explained about your father and other family members are very familiar to me. Your father sounds like a narcissist. Of course he will peg you for being selfish, etc... That's what narcissists do best - manipulate and control, doing whatever the hell they want and then when you say something about their behavior, YOU become the bad guy. It's a cycle that is nearly impossible to break because they never see what they are doing wrong.
You rented a PO box? GOOD JOB! That is you taking care of one of your own needs. Well done!
Like Sannah said, it's good to hear you talking about these things on the boards. Keep posting it out!
Beka
Ryan, the things you explained about your father and other family members are very familiar to me. Your father sounds like a narcissist. Of course he will peg you for being selfish, etc... That's what narcissists do best - manipulate and control, doing whatever the hell they want and then when you say something about their behavior, YOU become the bad guy. It's a cycle that is nearly impossible to break because they never see what they are doing wrong.
You rented a PO box? GOOD JOB! That is you taking care of one of your own needs. Well done!
Like Sannah said, it's good to hear you talking about these things on the boards. Keep posting it out!
Beka
ICC
07-06-2007, 03:27 PM
You know Beka....sometimes I can see myself so clearly in one of you. When I read Ryan's post I was so angry. Having a mother who did this to me I really feel for him but know he has to put a stop to it. You are so right in saying it is a no win situation . It was in my case. I always ended up being the bad guy no matter what I did. I would do for my mother and she would tell me years later how she remembered how nice it was of this or that person to give her the gift , take her to lunch, pcik her up from work. I used to be devastated since I was the only one who did aquat for her. For some reason she could and would never believe that I was nice. It was always someone else. I am so glad I am away from her hurt.
ICC
ICC
beka6
07-06-2007, 03:37 PM
ICC,
You might always have a bit of the hurt with you, tucked away somewhere in a corner of yourself. BUT, the great thing is that you have been so successful to move on and realize your worthiness to be happy. I think so much of what we struggle with boils down to the fact that we believe that we don't deserve any better. Well, we do!
You are an awesome cheerleader for us all, Grasshopper. I REALLY like this uninhibited side of you. You carry quite a punch! :) I feel like I am constantly learning from you.
Take care of yourself today,
Beka
You might always have a bit of the hurt with you, tucked away somewhere in a corner of yourself. BUT, the great thing is that you have been so successful to move on and realize your worthiness to be happy. I think so much of what we struggle with boils down to the fact that we believe that we don't deserve any better. Well, we do!
You are an awesome cheerleader for us all, Grasshopper. I REALLY like this uninhibited side of you. You carry quite a punch! :) I feel like I am constantly learning from you.
Take care of yourself today,
Beka
ICC
07-07-2007, 07:11 AM
Thank you Beka...for your comforting words. every so often i feel like I have gone nowhere but most of the time I KNOW I made it. You are a very wise young woman who has climbed many mountains. I hope to always be able to give back what was given to me.
God bless,
ICC
Ryan ....I am sorry if I highjacked your thread.:)
God bless,
ICC
Ryan ....I am sorry if I highjacked your thread.:)
Phoenix
07-07-2007, 10:17 AM
Grasshopper:
This thread is entitled "Regrouping my thoughts."
I chose the name wisely.
Believe it or not, this thread is for all that are doing as the thread suggests.
What you call a hijacking, I call a sharing of thoughts, which stemmed from the original post.
No worries.
As i am in the process of doing just as the thread implies, I am constantly reminded of my current limitations;guess that I have to begin "crawling" again, before i can walk.
As you are also doing so, is there any news to share with respect to your present condition?
Ryan
This thread is entitled "Regrouping my thoughts."
I chose the name wisely.
Believe it or not, this thread is for all that are doing as the thread suggests.
What you call a hijacking, I call a sharing of thoughts, which stemmed from the original post.
No worries.
As i am in the process of doing just as the thread implies, I am constantly reminded of my current limitations;guess that I have to begin "crawling" again, before i can walk.
As you are also doing so, is there any news to share with respect to your present condition?
Ryan
ICC
07-07-2007, 12:51 PM
Hi Ryan...I am so glad you are regrouping. It works miracles after awhile. For the mind of course. No change other than I have taken control of my own recovery again as I did last August. Didn't have the MRI yet but have read until I'm blind about Brachial Plexus injuries, adhesive capsulitis and what are the best stretches for both. I'm working on it myself until I go back to PT next week and then will put my foot down to anything damaging. Wish I would have educated myself before I started this PT in the first place and this would have never happeneded. Waht they have been doing is manipulation that's usually done under anesthesia so you can imagine the pain. i feel like I was traumatized. I wonder why. Will not let that happen again. If they won't work with me I will join an indoor pool and do it myself. Also think it's time I called my PTSD therapist before my mind runs a muck again as it did when first injured. I can't drive yet and it's such a burden to need a ride to Dr.s, PT and everywhere else. Don't want to rely on anyone for another ride. I'll figure it out. Did you know that I was angry as all get out when I read your post the other day about your family interfering? Could you pick up the anger in my typing? I wanted to smack them for you:D
Grasshopper
Grasshopper
Phoenix
07-08-2007, 02:58 AM
Hi Ryan...I am so glad you are regrouping. It works miracles after awhile. For the mind of course. No change other than I have taken control of my own recovery again as I did last August. Didn't have the MRI yet but have read until I'm blind about Brachial Plexus injuries, adhesive capsulitis and what are the best stretches for both. I'm working on it myself until I go back to PT next week and then will put my foot down to anything damaging. Wish I would have educated myself before I started this PT in the first place and this would have never happeneded. Waht they have been doing is manipulation that's usually done under anesthesia so you can imagine the pain. i feel like I was traumatized. I wonder why. Will not let that happen again. If they won't work with me I will join an indoor pool and do it myself. Also think it's time I called my PTSD therapist before my mind runs a muck again as it did when first injured. I can't drive yet and it's such a burden to need a ride to Dr.s, PT and everywhere else. Don't want to rely on anyone for another ride. I'll figure it out. Did you know that I was angry as all get out when I read your post the other day about your family interfering? Could you pick up the anger in my typing? I wanted to smack them for you:D
Grasshopper
Dear Grasshopper:
It's good to take control of your therapy but wouldn't it be wise to consult with a doctor (opinion).
Are you sure it wasn't joint manipulation ?
Just don't want to see you overdo it, for you honestly don't know what is exactly going on in there yet.
If you don't feel that this is the way, please remember the saying:
"Everything in moderation."
I just don't want your symptoms to progress.
You be good to yourself.
Ryan
PS- I am on the road. My father is already beginning to feel uncomfortable because I have taken the power to control me, out of his hands.
I did detect that concern. Thanks so much.
Ryan
Grasshopper
Dear Grasshopper:
It's good to take control of your therapy but wouldn't it be wise to consult with a doctor (opinion).
Are you sure it wasn't joint manipulation ?
Just don't want to see you overdo it, for you honestly don't know what is exactly going on in there yet.
If you don't feel that this is the way, please remember the saying:
"Everything in moderation."
I just don't want your symptoms to progress.
You be good to yourself.
Ryan
PS- I am on the road. My father is already beginning to feel uncomfortable because I have taken the power to control me, out of his hands.
I did detect that concern. Thanks so much.
Ryan
Phoenix
07-20-2007, 02:13 PM
Ryan, it sounds like your dad doesn't respect your boundaries. He opens you rmail and tells everyone your business.
He tells you that YOU are self-centered? I guess if he can't be the center of attention then this is the way he sees it.....
Glad to hear that you are discussing your father here.
Sannah:
You are right.
My PO Box is the best thing I could have gotten.
He now feels at a loss and almost comes to me in a "reversed role" for advice.
He really doesn't know how to approach me.
Ryan
He tells you that YOU are self-centered? I guess if he can't be the center of attention then this is the way he sees it.....
Glad to hear that you are discussing your father here.
Sannah:
You are right.
My PO Box is the best thing I could have gotten.
He now feels at a loss and almost comes to me in a "reversed role" for advice.
He really doesn't know how to approach me.
Ryan
ICC
07-21-2007, 06:44 AM
Sothen to me my friend, you are in control, and enough that your father sees and feels it. That's a good thing. Maybe now he will tread lightly when he steps anywhere near the boundaries you have set. Good for you.
Grasshopper
Grasshopper
beka6
07-27-2007, 03:46 PM
Ryan,
I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you today. Hopefully, you are able to keep the "anniversary demons" at bay. If you have feelings building that need to come out, please come here and share.
Beka
I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you today. Hopefully, you are able to keep the "anniversary demons" at bay. If you have feelings building that need to come out, please come here and share.
Beka
Phoenix
07-27-2007, 06:59 PM
Beka,
You hit the nail on the head.
It is apparent that I will need a spinal cord stimulator.
Today makes 2 years since the accident and then August 1st will be 1 year since my lumbar fusion.
Private investigator intrudes on me yesterday.......
Ah well.
I will return but for now i am just "Regrouping my thoughts."
Take care
God Bless
Ryan
You hit the nail on the head.
It is apparent that I will need a spinal cord stimulator.
Today makes 2 years since the accident and then August 1st will be 1 year since my lumbar fusion.
Private investigator intrudes on me yesterday.......
Ah well.
I will return but for now i am just "Regrouping my thoughts."
Take care
God Bless
Ryan
ICC
07-28-2007, 02:14 PM
Oh Ryan..it;s so hard isn't it? Try hard as we do to keep the mind strong and healthy while our bodies are falling apart. The PI would ahve really been my last straw. God bless you and keep you strong.
Fondly,
Grasshopper
Fondly,
Grasshopper
Phoenix
08-04-2007, 11:36 PM
Grasshopper:
My attorney handled the PI and now I must take care of me.
The truth is, if I don't do it (take the necessary steps to recover), no one will for me.
Ryan
PS- I have now "regrouped my thoughts." :)
My attorney handled the PI and now I must take care of me.
The truth is, if I don't do it (take the necessary steps to recover), no one will for me.
Ryan
PS- I have now "regrouped my thoughts." :)
ICC
08-05-2007, 08:30 AM
God bless you and give you clarity of mind and strength as you go on your journey into a peaceful, contented life. You truly deserve it my friend. I will always be here if/when you need me.
Grasshopper
Grasshopper
Phoenix
08-05-2007, 10:20 AM
Grasshopper:
I am approaching life differently and doing just that will bring about different results.
Someone once wrote at the bottom of their post: "Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results."
Hmmmm..........
Wonder who that was? ;)
Ryan
I am approaching life differently and doing just that will bring about different results.
Someone once wrote at the bottom of their post: "Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results."
Hmmmm..........
Wonder who that was? ;)
Ryan
beka6
08-05-2007, 04:07 PM
Grasshopper:
I am approaching life differently and doing just that will bring about different results.
Ryan
Ryan, that is the key to healing, I think.... Find what works for you - because, like you said, no one else will do it for you. You can do this, Ryan...
Beka
I am approaching life differently and doing just that will bring about different results.
Ryan
Ryan, that is the key to healing, I think.... Find what works for you - because, like you said, no one else will do it for you. You can do this, Ryan...
Beka
Phoenix
08-06-2007, 07:46 AM
Beka:
You are so right; finding what works.
Makes no sense to bring a wrench, when a screwdriver is necessary to complete the task. :)
Ryan
You are so right; finding what works.
Makes no sense to bring a wrench, when a screwdriver is necessary to complete the task. :)
Ryan
beka6
08-06-2007, 02:13 PM
Makes no sense to bring a wrench, when a screwdriver is necessary to complete the task. :)
Ryan,
Hang onto that wrench - you never know when someone will need a little crack up side of the head! :D
Beka
Ryan,
Hang onto that wrench - you never know when someone will need a little crack up side of the head! :D
Beka
ICC
08-06-2007, 08:25 PM
Amen to that Beka ;)
Phoenix
08-06-2007, 08:40 PM
OK,
I can't resist: :D .
Ryan
I can't resist: :D .
Ryan