I have a bit of a dilemma...
I'm 17 years old now and I asked my mom about going on the pill. I asked her very straightforwardly if I could go to the gyno (as I've never seen one before) to see if I'm able to get birth control. I told her that I've looked up different brands to see what's best for me, printed out the information and showed it to her. Even though I did all that, she never gives me an answer. I kind of need a new technique to go about asking her about it. Maybe some moms could help me out with this one. :) Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

I'm not a mom, but I know that if she doesn't let you go, there are probably planned parenthood places nearby where you can go and get an exam and get a perscription without your mom knowing. It should be completely confidential.

Although I don't really suggest this because it can damage the trust between you and your mom. Honesty is always good, but if she wont help you, and you feel that you should/need/want to be on it, then you might have to seek outside sources.

Hope that helps!

You didn't say here why you want to go on them. It would make a big difference.

You didn't say here why you want to go on them. It would make a big difference.

Didn't think it was that important, but okay. I get my period real bad, from bad cramps to throwing up and everything inbetween and I don't want that anymore. I looked into certain kinds of birthcontrol that said it would prevent that. I'm not sexually active, and I'm completely honest about that to my mom, so that's not a real big reason as to why I want it. Of course it will be great to have once I am, but that's not one of the contributing factors right now.

Thanks, nikkiisshort for the advice. :)

I had the exact same problems around age 17 (throwing up.. horrid cramping) I would have to get my boyfriend out of class to take me home. It was like a regular thing and the teachers even knew it. Of course no one told me at the time 1989 that BCPs would ease the pain so I suffered. Finally I went in for an OB exam at age 19 or so and they prescribed the pill for me. Ever since I have had only mild cramping.

Anyways, now being a mom I can see how hard it would be for me to let my daughter have BCP's because I wouldn't want her to think I was giving her the goahead to have sex. That being said I wouldn't wish the pain I had on anyone and I would go ahead and let her get it (she's only 8 now thank God) I'm terrifed of having an 18 years old... anyway, but I would have a long hard talk with her about how since you're on the pill even though you are not currently sexully active once you are in the heat of the moment knowing you are on the pill makes having sex a more welcoming thought.

Well whatever you decide I think you should have your mom involved as much as possible. Even if she is angry at you for doing it she will be so much more hurt if you do it behind her back. Just my two cents. Good luck girl!!

You might of already gotten your reply but just in case. I just started to take my bc. But the reasons I got on it was of course because I'm sexually active and my periods are long and heavy. But just let your mom know about you periods. To me thats a good reason to get on bc, so you don't have those problems. Also just let her know when you start to become sexually active, that its an issue that she won't have to worry about as much, since you'll be protected. :)

No, that's great. I really appriciate everything. It's just kind of hard trying to tell her, even though I can come straight out about it. I've told her before that I've wanted birth control so I get lighter periods, and she knows that I have horrible periods too. I really don't know what's keeping her from letting me get them. I know my dad doesn't want me to go on them at all, but he doesn't understand at all. So, thanks so much for all the help. I need all of it I can get.

Ive been on BC since 17 and im almost 20 now. My mom actually suggested it!! Funny huh? I was with a different boyfriend at the time and she said it's better safe than sorry so i got an appointment for the pill. I was happy i did though, because im a worrywart and the pill helped ease my mind about sex. and it helped wonders with my cramps. I use to leave school too for terrible cramping..and ever since then my cramps have only been mild. They dont take me away from my activities thank gosh!! And my acne improved so much. I dont think id go off the pill now. At least not for a while.

But maybe something that might help your mom is if you do get a doctors appointment..have your mom in the room with you. I found my gyno was really helpful when i first went on the pill by telling me and my mom the advantages and disadvantages of it, side effects, different types of BC (pill, shot, patch, ring) and it helped my mom and me both. Even though my mom wanted me on the pill we were both still nervous about it so talking to the gyno really helped. It sounds to me like your mom is nervous for you to get on it. Whatever the reason may be but if your mom and you are so close i don't see why she cant trust your judgement about going on it. Seems odd. Or at least trying it out. But at least let your mom know that im sure your cramping will really be helped by the pill and if thats your main reason for the getting on it i see no problem with that. Hopefully she will come around and hopefully i helped you out some!

i started taking it the pill a week before i turned 19 am 20 now i didn't tell my mom, she was not happy when she found out. but i has the same problems you do with the gramping. i went with my my to the doc (they didn't do an exam) my doc gave me a a high does RX ibprophen (i was only 15 at time so they didn't want to put me on bc) for when i got my period or whenever i was gramping, that helped a lot but i did grow out of the gramping. what my doc told me do was start talking midol or whatever you prefre 2 to 3 days before you get your period, they make a 12 hour so you can take it before school and then don't have to worry about it in school. i also found eating choclate helps

(Haha, chocolate does seem to help, but only when I'm eating it. I've been trying to watch my weight and eating chocolate everytime I have severe cramps doesn't really fit my lifestyle.)

Yeah, I take midol and pamprin and Ibuprofen and all those, but that doesn't stop me from getting nauseous during my period. Either way, I just don't want it anymore. I would much rather prefer a light period than anything. Plus, I want them for when I actually am sexually active. I've been talking to my mom about it again, and all she said is that "It's not natural". Which, I don't think is a good excuse at all. I might be naive, but I know that (more than)half of the treatments that she gets for her back, knee pain, etc aren't of "natural" means either. I asked her if I could go to the doctor with her this Thursday to talk to the doctor and see what he has to say. If he declines, I'm just going to have to wait until I get my driver's liscence in Sept. and go to Planned Parenthood or something. Anyway, thanks to everyone who helped. Any more advice would be great.

I went on when i was 19yrs old so my mom didnt know about it, till long after i was on it. She would of probably freaked out hehe...but i was an adult so i made my own choice.

That was very mature of you to print out all the information and stuff. Why dont you just go to your doc and talk to him about all this? If you wanna see a gyno you can do it on your own. I did. If your sexual active you should be having pap tests ... great i sound like a mom lol, o wait i am one!

Maybe you should just sit down your mom and tell her to let you know how she feels about everything and finally get an answer!

I went on the pill when I was 19. I had horrible cramps and the flow was aweful. Finally after hearing me complain and missing so many college classes because I was curled up in the fetal position on my bed, my mom gave in. I wasn't sexually active, but was missing at least 3 days every month because of my period.
I am 36 now and still on the pill. Tried to stop a while back and had to get back on. It makes such a difference. My 18 and 16 year old neices were put on the pill also this past year for the same family "curse".
Just have a woman to woman talk with your mom and please hold off being sexually active as long as you can, and when you finally do decide to have sex, use a condom also. Its better to be safe than sorry!:)

I went on bc when I was 23, but I wish I had done it sooner! I had horrible cramps and got awfully sick from the time I was in high school throughout college, sometimes so unbearable I would have to stay home from school. BC has really helped with the cramps and my periods are very manageable now. I have been on it for 2 years (Apri Oral) and am switching to Yaz on Sunday.

Hi,
My mom is the same way with not wanting me to be on the pill. Her reason was that she thinks it will cause brith defects one day on my kids and that is it like putting poision in your body. Also when she was younger she took them and got awful migrains, I know she doesn't want to see me go through that. I am 19 so I do have the right to get them myself but of course not the money so I would need my moms help with that till I get a good job while I am at college. I have the same problem as you with cramps every since I started getting my period , I was around 13. Also have everything but headachs and am very irregular which is a pain and can be a stressful situation if you are sexual active.
So I did go to my Dr. and got the prescription. I wanted to start right away but ended up making a deal with my mom. I wouldn't start the pill till winter break so if I did end up getting the side effects (migrains ect.) I would be home and it wouldn't effect my studies. So maybe she is worried about something along the lines of the pill effecting your body in a negative way. Best of luck and don't worry you arn't alone with your mom saying no...

Are you sexually active? Regardless if you are not 18, if you are sexually active you should see a gyno asap. You need to be examined and then you can talk to your doc about the best options for bc. If you are sexually active make sure you are using protection so that you can avoid pregnancy. Good luck with mom.