lukes mom
07-08-2007, 11:49 PM
my five year old has had a love hate relationship with baths since he was born. Now, as has been for the last year or more, he hates them. He won't sit in the tub, so we just opt for showers. The whole time he screams at the top of his lungs and says its ok its ok ( comforting to him). The whole ordeal lasts less than five minutes and then he is off and running. Everything is fine afterwards.
I have tried using pecs( a cartoon pic of someone in the bath). That just prompts him to say "night night". He'd rather go to bed than bath.
Basically, anything that has to be done in the bathroom brings lots of resistance. Thanks for all your suggestions
Lukes mom
I have tried using pecs( a cartoon pic of someone in the bath). That just prompts him to say "night night". He'd rather go to bed than bath.
Basically, anything that has to be done in the bathroom brings lots of resistance. Thanks for all your suggestions
Lukes mom
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Callista
07-09-2007, 11:44 AM
To someone with sensory sensitivity, a shower can feel like being pelted with hail... It's not fun.
I personally didn't take showers regularly until I was in college--let's hope your son gets used to them sooner! I'm going to brainstorm some ideas.
Is it possible to pour the water over him, instead? This might be a bit better. How about a tub bath, with him standing rather than sitting, so the water can be poured over him with a jug? If he can pour it himself, it might be even more helpful.
Something that helps sensory sensitivity a great deal is to give the child control over whatever's bugging him. I think if you can get him to wash himself--even just a little--it might calm him a bit. It would give him a chance to kind of prepare for what's coming--it's not so overwhelming if it's expected.
What's the texture of your washrag like? Terrycloth can be a problem for some kids--it never was for me; my big Eeee! is polyester. But it can be pretty rough. Try an old dish towel instead--that may be softer. (Old=more worn out, thus softer.)
Also, the feel of water on the skin can be bothersome. Going from dry to wet can really overload you--I still have to mentally prepare myself before stepping under the shower. A handheld shower might help--he can stick his hand under first, then an arm and a leg... Kind of the way you step into a cold swimming pool slowly. The water pressure shouldn't be too high, either--too high, and it stings your skin.
He may not like tub baths because of the feeling of being surrounded by water. I had trouble with that mostly when I was asked to do dishes, because the water was soapy and there were little food particles in it that I couldn't predict when they'd touch my hands. But simple soapy water could bug your son--you see, water's always moving, and you get constant sensory input from it. It's more dense than air, so there's more input. If this is your son's problem, he might also be over-sensitive to wind...
Bottom line: There are a lot of little things that could be bugging him, that don't bug most people. But the worst thing you can do is just not make him take baths--because if you do that (as my mom did), he will not have a chance to grow used to them. Since bathing is so important to social acceptance--especially once the teen years hit and body odor becomes a factor--every child has to be taught to tolerate it. Eventually, if you are lucky, he will not like the feeling of being dirty, and tolerate showers because he knows he'll feel better when he finishes: That's what happened to me, and now I take showers on average twice every three days.
I personally didn't take showers regularly until I was in college--let's hope your son gets used to them sooner! I'm going to brainstorm some ideas.
Is it possible to pour the water over him, instead? This might be a bit better. How about a tub bath, with him standing rather than sitting, so the water can be poured over him with a jug? If he can pour it himself, it might be even more helpful.
Something that helps sensory sensitivity a great deal is to give the child control over whatever's bugging him. I think if you can get him to wash himself--even just a little--it might calm him a bit. It would give him a chance to kind of prepare for what's coming--it's not so overwhelming if it's expected.
What's the texture of your washrag like? Terrycloth can be a problem for some kids--it never was for me; my big Eeee! is polyester. But it can be pretty rough. Try an old dish towel instead--that may be softer. (Old=more worn out, thus softer.)
Also, the feel of water on the skin can be bothersome. Going from dry to wet can really overload you--I still have to mentally prepare myself before stepping under the shower. A handheld shower might help--he can stick his hand under first, then an arm and a leg... Kind of the way you step into a cold swimming pool slowly. The water pressure shouldn't be too high, either--too high, and it stings your skin.
He may not like tub baths because of the feeling of being surrounded by water. I had trouble with that mostly when I was asked to do dishes, because the water was soapy and there were little food particles in it that I couldn't predict when they'd touch my hands. But simple soapy water could bug your son--you see, water's always moving, and you get constant sensory input from it. It's more dense than air, so there's more input. If this is your son's problem, he might also be over-sensitive to wind...
Bottom line: There are a lot of little things that could be bugging him, that don't bug most people. But the worst thing you can do is just not make him take baths--because if you do that (as my mom did), he will not have a chance to grow used to them. Since bathing is so important to social acceptance--especially once the teen years hit and body odor becomes a factor--every child has to be taught to tolerate it. Eventually, if you are lucky, he will not like the feeling of being dirty, and tolerate showers because he knows he'll feel better when he finishes: That's what happened to me, and now I take showers on average twice every three days.
Brandiof4
07-09-2007, 01:38 PM
Hi there
I am familiar with this kind of behavior from my 6 year old autistic boy. I really don’t know what sets them off! They could be fine with something one minute then act like it’s a matter of life and death!!
He needs a bath!! So I personally would just keep persisting (in a very calm and loving manner). My son isn’t totally scared of baths, but what I do when he doesn’t want a bath- I fill the bath tub up and throw all his favorite toys in the bath, get him naked and tell him it’s potty time and sit him on the potty. He sits there and notices what is in the bath and gets in to play with them. I also include cups and my favorite is an old small plastic plant container you buy your plants in. The kids love them and the water drains out before they can take a drink.
So I guess my advise would be to fill the bath tub up with stuff he loves, even if it is a lolly pop!!!
I am familiar with this kind of behavior from my 6 year old autistic boy. I really don’t know what sets them off! They could be fine with something one minute then act like it’s a matter of life and death!!
He needs a bath!! So I personally would just keep persisting (in a very calm and loving manner). My son isn’t totally scared of baths, but what I do when he doesn’t want a bath- I fill the bath tub up and throw all his favorite toys in the bath, get him naked and tell him it’s potty time and sit him on the potty. He sits there and notices what is in the bath and gets in to play with them. I also include cups and my favorite is an old small plastic plant container you buy your plants in. The kids love them and the water drains out before they can take a drink.
So I guess my advise would be to fill the bath tub up with stuff he loves, even if it is a lolly pop!!!
lukes mom
07-10-2007, 12:28 AM
To someone with sensory sensitivity, a shower can feel like being pelted with hail... It's not fun.
I personally didn't take showers regularly until I was in college--let's hope your son gets used to them sooner! I'm going to brainstorm some ideas.
Is it possible to pour the water over him, instead? This might be a bit better. How about a tub bath, with him standing rather than sitting, so the water can be poured over him with a jug? If he can pour it himself, it might be even more helpful.
Something that helps sensory sensitivity a great deal is to give the child control over whatever's bugging him. I think if you can get him to wash himself--even just a little--it might calm him a bit. It would give him a chance to kind of prepare for what's coming--it's not so overwhelming if it's expected.
What's the texture of your washrag like? Terrycloth can be a problem for some kids--it never was for me; my big Eeee! is polyester. But it can be pretty rough. Try an old dish towel instead--that may be softer. (Old=more worn out, thus softer.)
Also, the feel of water on the skin can be bothersome. Going from dry to wet can really overload you--I still have to mentally prepare myself before stepping under the shower. A handheld shower might help--he can stick his hand under first, then an arm and a leg... Kind of the way you step into a cold swimming pool slowly. The water pressure shouldn't be too high, either--too high, and it stings your skin.
He may not like tub baths because of the feeling of being surrounded by water. I had trouble with that mostly when I was asked to do dishes, because the water was soapy and there were little food particles in it that I couldn't predict when they'd touch my hands. But simple soapy water could bug your son--you see, water's always moving, and you get constant sensory input from it. It's more dense than air, so there's more input. If this is your son's problem, he might also be over-sensitive to wind...
Bottom line: There are a lot of little things that could be bugging him, that don't bug most people. But the worst thing you can do is just not make him take baths--because if you do that (as my mom did), he will not have a chance to grow used to them. Since bathing is so important to social acceptance--especially once the teen years hit and body odor becomes a factor--every child has to be taught to tolerate it. Eventually, if you are lucky, he will not like the feeling of being dirty, and tolerate showers because he knows he'll feel better when he finishes: That's what happened to me, and now I take showers on average twice every three days.
Thanks for all your suggestions. He is fine in his pool, playing in puddles, playing with the water hose or sprinkler. I have tried pouring the water over him with a pitcher. Thats the usual thing.
The only time in recent history that he has taken a bath without a fit, was in a huge garden tub while on vacation.
I personally didn't take showers regularly until I was in college--let's hope your son gets used to them sooner! I'm going to brainstorm some ideas.
Is it possible to pour the water over him, instead? This might be a bit better. How about a tub bath, with him standing rather than sitting, so the water can be poured over him with a jug? If he can pour it himself, it might be even more helpful.
Something that helps sensory sensitivity a great deal is to give the child control over whatever's bugging him. I think if you can get him to wash himself--even just a little--it might calm him a bit. It would give him a chance to kind of prepare for what's coming--it's not so overwhelming if it's expected.
What's the texture of your washrag like? Terrycloth can be a problem for some kids--it never was for me; my big Eeee! is polyester. But it can be pretty rough. Try an old dish towel instead--that may be softer. (Old=more worn out, thus softer.)
Also, the feel of water on the skin can be bothersome. Going from dry to wet can really overload you--I still have to mentally prepare myself before stepping under the shower. A handheld shower might help--he can stick his hand under first, then an arm and a leg... Kind of the way you step into a cold swimming pool slowly. The water pressure shouldn't be too high, either--too high, and it stings your skin.
He may not like tub baths because of the feeling of being surrounded by water. I had trouble with that mostly when I was asked to do dishes, because the water was soapy and there were little food particles in it that I couldn't predict when they'd touch my hands. But simple soapy water could bug your son--you see, water's always moving, and you get constant sensory input from it. It's more dense than air, so there's more input. If this is your son's problem, he might also be over-sensitive to wind...
Bottom line: There are a lot of little things that could be bugging him, that don't bug most people. But the worst thing you can do is just not make him take baths--because if you do that (as my mom did), he will not have a chance to grow used to them. Since bathing is so important to social acceptance--especially once the teen years hit and body odor becomes a factor--every child has to be taught to tolerate it. Eventually, if you are lucky, he will not like the feeling of being dirty, and tolerate showers because he knows he'll feel better when he finishes: That's what happened to me, and now I take showers on average twice every three days.
Thanks for all your suggestions. He is fine in his pool, playing in puddles, playing with the water hose or sprinkler. I have tried pouring the water over him with a pitcher. Thats the usual thing.
The only time in recent history that he has taken a bath without a fit, was in a huge garden tub while on vacation.
Callista
07-10-2007, 11:18 AM
How about transition trouble?--that is, he doesn't like stopping what he's doing to take a bath?
lukes mom
07-10-2007, 11:44 AM
How about transition trouble?--that is, he doesn't like stopping what he's doing to take a bath?
Not so much. Maybe I should open the whole picture. Anything that takes place in the bathroom is an issue. Brushing teeth, bath time, and potty.
He wasn't ready to potty train until he was almost 4. We used the social story and the rewards system and in no time he was trained. Now, he wouldn't go on his own (except on the odd occasion), but, he'd go when we'd take him with few accidents. The same at school and babysitter.
I don't remember now how long that lasted, then he went backwards AND developed a fear it seems of the bathroom and the bath time problem probably started at the same time.
Had to force him onto the toilet. He'd stiffen up, cry etc. We were back to pooping in the pants and so on. We didn't go back to pullups (except if he had diarrehea). I know the automatic flushing toilets scare him. His new classroom at school last year had that kind and that is what he will have to use this next school year and he will go all day to school.
Now, what we have done, right wrong or indifferent, is, we have gotten a camping toilet and put it in a room other than the bathroom. He will use that will no problem, even take himself. We have moved it recently to another room, closer to the bathroom and plan to keep moving it closer, hoping that will work.
I don't know if he is scared of the toilet ( ours is not a loud flusher) or the bathtub.
Here's something else. I clean my church and take him with me. He will repeatedly flush every toilet in the bathroom. And has no problem. Im at my wits end. I told his teacher that we will do our best to get him on the toilet by the time school starts in August.
By the way, thanks you so much for all your advice.
Not so much. Maybe I should open the whole picture. Anything that takes place in the bathroom is an issue. Brushing teeth, bath time, and potty.
He wasn't ready to potty train until he was almost 4. We used the social story and the rewards system and in no time he was trained. Now, he wouldn't go on his own (except on the odd occasion), but, he'd go when we'd take him with few accidents. The same at school and babysitter.
I don't remember now how long that lasted, then he went backwards AND developed a fear it seems of the bathroom and the bath time problem probably started at the same time.
Had to force him onto the toilet. He'd stiffen up, cry etc. We were back to pooping in the pants and so on. We didn't go back to pullups (except if he had diarrehea). I know the automatic flushing toilets scare him. His new classroom at school last year had that kind and that is what he will have to use this next school year and he will go all day to school.
Now, what we have done, right wrong or indifferent, is, we have gotten a camping toilet and put it in a room other than the bathroom. He will use that will no problem, even take himself. We have moved it recently to another room, closer to the bathroom and plan to keep moving it closer, hoping that will work.
I don't know if he is scared of the toilet ( ours is not a loud flusher) or the bathtub.
Here's something else. I clean my church and take him with me. He will repeatedly flush every toilet in the bathroom. And has no problem. Im at my wits end. I told his teacher that we will do our best to get him on the toilet by the time school starts in August.
By the way, thanks you so much for all your advice.
GatsbyLuvr1920
07-10-2007, 10:00 PM
Getting wet is one of my biggest sensory issues. I didn't figure out that it was a sensory issue until about a year-and-a-half ago. Since then, I have figured out some tricks to help me. I always get a bath when I can because, as Callista mentioned, showers are painful. I simply cannot stand getting my face wet. I can handle the rest of me being wet, but a wet face is intolerable. So, what I usually do is just wash myself under the bathtub faucet. This works really well for washing hair because I can, one, get my hair wet without getting my face wet, and two, control water from getting in my ear (another sensory issue). I can take showers if the water pressure is really weak because the painfulness of the water is decreased and the water doesn't run over your face. If your son's main problem is getting his face wet, then you may want to try this method, rather than pouring water over him with a cup or small bucket. Pouring water would work well if he doesn't like a whole rush of water at once (if he wants to minimize the pressure/feeling of the water on him), but when one pours water over one's head, the inevitable outcome is a drenched face. If your son doesn't like to have his whole body submerged in water in the tub, you could try just washing him under the faucet without filling the tub. I do this sometimes. Hope this helps! :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
Callista
07-11-2007, 01:44 PM
You can also wet his skin with your wet hand at first, or ask him to dip his hand in the water and do it himeself. This is less overwhelming than pouring, and less scratchy than a washcloth.
anemone
07-15-2007, 10:41 PM
I know it sounds quite naive, and I'm sure you've probably tried it already,
but what about something like his favourite cartoon character or "obsession" being an important part of the bathroom routine.
(such as a special sponge or toothbrush, or wall stickers around the toilet).
For bathing, I'd suggest standing in the empty bath with his favourite toy or whatever makes him feel particularly safe, and sponging him down slowly. Just a touch everyday, so he gets used to it.
Good luck :)
but what about something like his favourite cartoon character or "obsession" being an important part of the bathroom routine.
(such as a special sponge or toothbrush, or wall stickers around the toilet).
For bathing, I'd suggest standing in the empty bath with his favourite toy or whatever makes him feel particularly safe, and sponging him down slowly. Just a touch everyday, so he gets used to it.
Good luck :)
lukes mom
09-10-2007, 02:36 AM
Just wanted to let ya'll know, we got a hand held shower head. It has helped some. He still cries but, not scream and it is over quickly, he's out and fine again. Thanks