I was gonna put this in the anger thread but I think it's more depression related. My "friend with benefits" has a boyfriend and everything going out of control. She loves me and her boyfriend the same but it's driving me insane. I just want her to dump him so badly but she won't because he said he'd probably kill himself if he lost her. I told her I wouldn't talk to him but I want to and I know he's gonna find out eventually: he's already suspicious. He's got her so manipulated I don't know how to help her but I want to so badly. I know the right thing to do would be to notify the police if he's making threats like that but I told her I won't. Her family seems to love me more and everybody says he's changed (in a bad way), he doesn't seem to care about her family like I do. I just want her so bad and she tells me she wants me bad too but doesn't know how to break up with this guy.

Other than suggestions like "just move on" what else can I/we do? Thanx!

That is a control issue or it sounds like for the boyfriend. He is manipulating her not just with the threat but probably in other ways. If she wants to break up with him then she needs to do so and not stay because he says he will committ suicide or die without her. These threats maybe in fact that or how he truly feels. Getting it made known might be a step towards letting him define who he is within himself rather then using someone else for that. Are there other reasons that she stays?

Working together both you and she maybe able to let the boyfriend know that his manipulation will not be taken any longer. Hopefully it will be idle threats but you can never tell either. It makes it a Catch-22 of sorts.

Deb