I am Meg, a 32 year old who has been struggling with BiPolar, Schiz Effec, for 7 years. I've been in 8 hospitals and my condition keeps getting worse each episode. I am also a writer, and after every script I complete I go a little batty. I came on this network for support, now that I have accepted that I am sick. It took a long time for me to do that and I still toy with it. Can't it be God talking to me? I guess the chances of that are pretty slim. I wanted to know if anyone suffers from voices? I have 2 that will not go away. They just started last year, out of nowhere, and because I trust them I end up sick. I have to stop the vicious cycle...Meg:dizzy:

I, like yourself, seriously do not know if I am communicating w/ God or demons or if it's part of my condition. It causes me a lot of confusion. I heard voices for a while until I had ECTs. Now, it's more difficult, b/c I feel that spiritual forces are inserting thoughts in my head. They sound like my own inner talk, but they do not belong to me. The delusions are getting harder to distinguish from reality.

Hey Waffles, They're starting to take over. Not good. When you can't decipher between reality and fanntasy anymore, you're getting in deep. The deeper you get the harder it is to pull through. May I suggest going to your doctor, therapist, priest, anyone who will listen and seek treatment. Trust me, it's not the spirits. I went through that one. I thought it was spirits and I should trust them, wound up in jail. Thought it was a fight between good and evil, admitted to a hospital. Trust me, all of it is bad. When you get a dellusion, say wrong, go away, and try to turn your mind off from it. Trick them like they are tricking you. It is a game. And you are too precious to let the sickness win. It's a match between you and your sickness. Have you come to terms that you have a problem? Becuase if you haven't you can't start getting better. Be Well, Fly

Thanks a lot for your response. I know that I have a problem, but I don't know what else to do. I have taken several different med combinations which have all failed over the last 2 years. I have had 7 ECTs which inevitably stopped working. I have been hospitalized for a month. I have also tried cognitive therapy and thought replacement. My pdoc is on leave until Monday (he's been gone for 2 weeks). I try to tell the thoughts and voices to go away, but they don't go away for good.

Waffles, it is a never endig battle. I am so sorry you have to go through it, but I believe we all have our cross to carry. I find ignoring the voices to be very helpful. But you really have to do it. I mean, I was madly in love with one voice and I thought we were going to run away and get married, instead we ran away to a prison cell and then the hospital. Do not entertain them. It's hard, because you want to. I wanted to keep my cerebral lover safe, but in the end they are just all toxic. Tell them to go away, ignore them, do whatever you can, just don't let them lead you astray. When your doctor is away, I find it helpful to talk to friends or family. You also can't substitute your doctor for your sanity. People become addicted to their doctors, and that isn't good either. I wish you the best of luck and if I can help further, just let me know! Be Well, Meg PS: don't blame yourself, none of this is your fault.

Hi. Have read the thread and can can relate to what you have written. I have had mental health issues for around 11 years and was been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic 5 years ago. I have had voices that tell me certain things, though they are not like an audible voice, more like my own thought. When I was going through an episode they would be there a lot of the time and tell me certain things. I would usually chat away to them with my own thought and try to side with them and not have conflict. You described your voices as toxic and I think you should try not to think that way. If you can accept them and not think of them as bad, then that would help you deal with them. I always tried to treat them lightly and realise they were probably not real. I thought mainly they were other people communicating with me by telepahy. They would sometimes tell me to do certain things, though not bad things. When they did I always tried to sum up rationaly what the outcome could be and if I would be in danger. I think the worst/most dangerous thing that I did was go for long walks at night. The walking helped, though probably not the best time to be out on your own. I have been taking Olanzapine for some years now and have not relapsed. I do not have the thoughts very oftern now, though when I do I generally try to ignore them and carry on with what I am doing.

Hey China, I agree with you on ignoring the voices, but the only reason I say they are bad that they consistantly have gotten me into trouble. Every time I followed a voice I've gotten more sick and self destructive. That's just what works for me, to ignore them and not listen to what they say. I have to do that to stay sane, otherwise I will constantly be ill. I think everyone handles their sickness in their own way, that's just my approach. Easier to get rid of them, then entertain a catastrophe. Thanks for the reply and I wish you the best with your diagnosis, I am schiz aff and bipolar, but realisticly we are all schiz in one way or another. But we are seeking help so that's a start! Be well, Fly