JACKFLASH
07-17-2007, 03:20 AM
I have been having the worst time. My husband and I have been fighting. Something he said about if I don't watch out for my daughter she was going to end up like me. I was date raped at 16. He hurt me so bad. It made the depresion come back full force. I spent 1 1/2 hours at my best girlfriends crying my eyes out . It finally hit me that he hit an nerve. I could not bear for my daughter to go through what I did. Its one of my biggest fears. He hurt me so badly. I am far more strict than my parents. I'm feeling so bad.
Jack
Jack
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Lightlife
07-17-2007, 04:13 AM
Your Husband is a bigot. If you can help it, dont let him treat you like this. If he wont stop, leave him, he doesnt deserve you. What man can be so mean to someone he supposedly loves about something as bad as rape. He needs a wake up call. Good luck.
Maybe get some therapy for the Rape.
Maybe get some therapy for the Rape.
NVD
07-17-2007, 06:08 AM
I have been having the worst time. My husband and I have been fighting. Something he said about if I don't watch out for my daughter she was going to end up like me. I was date raped at 16. He hurt me so bad. It made the depresion come back full force. I spent 1 1/2 hours at my best girlfriends crying my eyes out . It finally hit me that he hit an nerve. I could not bear for my daughter to go through what I did. Its one of my biggest fears. He hurt me so badly. I am far more strict than my parents. I'm feeling so bad.
Jack
I'm just curious...was he making a general sweeping statement, or was he specifically talking about the rape? I know sometimes if my husband is mad at me for something, he'll make a statement like that...but refering to the behavior, or the attitude that I'm in. Just curious. Sorry, not much help. Hang in there though...
Amber
Jack
I'm just curious...was he making a general sweeping statement, or was he specifically talking about the rape? I know sometimes if my husband is mad at me for something, he'll make a statement like that...but refering to the behavior, or the attitude that I'm in. Just curious. Sorry, not much help. Hang in there though...
Amber
JACKFLASH
07-17-2007, 06:23 AM
It was in reference to the rape. He does not want our daughter dateing. She isn't even dateing she has a good friend who is a boy. I don't want her dateing either.
NVD
07-17-2007, 06:25 AM
It was in reference to the rape. He does not want our daughter dateing. She isn't even dateing she has a good friend who is a boy. I don't want her dateing either.
Oh, I see. I'm sorry...didn't understand that part. Sorry he said something so hurtful, Jack.
Hope it's a better day for you.
Amber
Oh, I see. I'm sorry...didn't understand that part. Sorry he said something so hurtful, Jack.
Hope it's a better day for you.
Amber
Phoenix
07-17-2007, 11:36 AM
Jack:
There must be something truly bothering him that made for that statement.
Some men like to keep their feelings to themselves; it's about appearing weak.
A statement like that;
It may or may not be saying "i'm concerned for her and yet upset about what happened to you.
Just food for thought.
I may be totally wrong but it's worth stating.
Take care
Ryan
There must be something truly bothering him that made for that statement.
Some men like to keep their feelings to themselves; it's about appearing weak.
A statement like that;
It may or may not be saying "i'm concerned for her and yet upset about what happened to you.
Just food for thought.
I may be totally wrong but it's worth stating.
Take care
Ryan
ICC
07-17-2007, 01:14 PM
Jackflash.....I am so sorry. Words can cut like a knife and the sad part of it is "tongues don't have erasers"
ICC
ICC
JACKFLASH
07-18-2007, 01:47 AM
Ryan,
You might have hit the nail right on the head. My T thinks my husband has been traumatized by my reveiling my rape and molestation. This is causing him to bee over protective of our daughter. It make sence. He sees all outher men and boys as perpratrators. He may need some therapy too.
You might have hit the nail right on the head. My T thinks my husband has been traumatized by my reveiling my rape and molestation. This is causing him to bee over protective of our daughter. It make sence. He sees all outher men and boys as perpratrators. He may need some therapy too.
isitme
07-18-2007, 05:33 AM
I have been having the worst time. My husband and I have been fighting. Something he said about if I don't watch out for my daughter she was going to end up like me. I was date raped at 16. He hurt me so bad. It made the depresion come back full force. I spent 1 1/2 hours at my best girlfriends crying my eyes out . It finally hit me that he hit an nerve. I could not bear for my daughter to go through what I did. Its one of my biggest fears. He hurt me so badly. I am far more strict than my parents. I'm feeling so bad.
Jack
It was a very uncaring thing for your hubby to have said. It could have been said out of true concern and him being a male, didn't word it very sensitively and hasn't a clue how to protect your daughter! Remember we DO go into overdrive when triggered. Putting it into perspective - it is hightly unlikely that your daughter will be date raped, no matter how much you worry. Then again, for all you worry, it still could happen. It sounds like you are angry at your parents for the experience you went though. We all guard against things happening, but none of us can predict the future.
Jack
It was a very uncaring thing for your hubby to have said. It could have been said out of true concern and him being a male, didn't word it very sensitively and hasn't a clue how to protect your daughter! Remember we DO go into overdrive when triggered. Putting it into perspective - it is hightly unlikely that your daughter will be date raped, no matter how much you worry. Then again, for all you worry, it still could happen. It sounds like you are angry at your parents for the experience you went though. We all guard against things happening, but none of us can predict the future.
Phoenix
07-18-2007, 07:15 AM
Ryan,
You might have hit the nail right on the head. My T thinks my husband has been traumatized by my reveiling my rape and molestation. This is causing him to bee over protective of our daughter. It make sence. He sees all outher men and boys as perpratrators. He may need some therapy too.
Jack,
Would he be willing to go to therapy?
Remember that men were once boys too.
Some of us have been known to get "territorial" in nature.
Ryan
You might have hit the nail right on the head. My T thinks my husband has been traumatized by my reveiling my rape and molestation. This is causing him to bee over protective of our daughter. It make sence. He sees all outher men and boys as perpratrators. He may need some therapy too.
Jack,
Would he be willing to go to therapy?
Remember that men were once boys too.
Some of us have been known to get "territorial" in nature.
Ryan