I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer, and am feeling devastated. Most people appear to have been really caring and understanding, but a few have said quite forcibly that I "Should try not to worry", and "Pull myself together".

Everyone talks about their friend/mother-in-law/cousin/neighbour who was FAR braver than me, and FAR worse than me, and I am beginning to feel like crawling under the duvet and staying there until my op.

I can't think straight, and am frightened. Not just about the operations and the journey ahead, but at my inability suddenly to carry out the most simple tasks. And most of all, the fact that on the bravery stakes, I appear to be a complete wimp.

Am I a wimp? Is everyone else brave and smiling through the pain? Should I have just shrugged my shoulders and said "Ah well. Just one of those things". Please help me feel that I'm not alone.

Scarlettina

Scarlettina, you are not a wimp. I am facing an ultrasound & biopsy & I don't mind saying, I'm scared. I keep it light with family but inside I'm a mess. I can't think & if I doze off, I wake up & immediately & think of what is ahead & start shaking. You are just being honest & others may not be. I am older & most things don't bother me but this is very upsetting. Don't you think for a min you are a wimp. We are here for you if you need to talk.
When is your surgery? I will keep you in my thoughts. good luck!

Hi Scarlettina,
No you are not a wimp, it is a huge deal. I just had a double mast in April, now going through chemo. It is not easy but you WILL GET THROUGH IT, please believe me. Try to think positive thoughts. It is what it is and we cannot change it. Just look down the road and know it will be over and you will be better. Please write and vent anytime this is an awesome site and everyone helps everyone. Please try to stay positive that does help. But if you want to cry or scream do it.
Take Care and keep us posted.
JoJo

hi scarlettina, believe me you are not a wimp.Just keep it in your head that you are going to fight it and come out a winner. We have all been there and had our dark days but you get through it. When is your op ? Glad you found this site. Its great everyone is so friendly and helpful. I'm from Scotland.
keep in touch phyl41

Just received my op date - 13th August. The replies helped me a lot. Still finding some people can be really difficult. I've made it clear I don't want to be questioned, and can only deal with now, but some say "Tell me all about it", "what's going to happen exactly", and can't understand that I don't want to go into details.

In fact, I can't even bear to look in the mirror any more, and see the outline of my breast.

Scarlettina

Sorry you are going through this, Scarlitina.

We all remember those early upsetting, numbing, information overload days.
Personally, I felt a lot better after the biopsy and then after the lupectomy. It wasnt bad as I feared and I was finally doing something.

Go ahead and let yourself feel numb and the fear. A better day will come.

I chose not to tell people and though I missed the original sympathy, I feel better about that decision now. It is difficult to have people asking you all the time. Maybe you can come up with a line or two like, "My op is August ? I wont know more until then." Then change the subject.

The way I feel is this is your cancer not anyone elses.....if you want to go to pieces, not talk about it, talk about it...whatever...do what you yourself want to do. Everyone is different and should not expect you to act in a certain way. No one responds to situations the same way. If you don't want to do something, then just don't. This journey is yours..not theirs. Much love to you.

Hi Scarlettina,

I understand how you are feeling. You are number one and you decide who, what and when you want to do something or talk about it. Take your time, you will have better days than others. But Please let people help you. You will need it. Take Care.
JoJo