KeithPars
06-15-2003, 09:14 PM
Hello. I am having a problem involving the almost constant symptoms of some slight visual irregularities and what I would call disassociation (or, 'depersonalization'). First of all let me give you some backround information: I have had depression for 3 years or so, and it was only "discovered" and diagnosed around the time when these specific problems occured, I had just recently been caught using drugs by my parents, and of course I then stopped and have been clean ever since. I will get to the specifics of this usage later on.
It all started on February 2nd of this year. As far as I remember, that day had just been a lazy slouch-around-the-house-all-day kind of deal. I drank my fluids, I ate my meals. The space shuttle news of that day was a bit suprising, but overall the day was just fine. Now, the time was around 10:30 PM, and I was at my computer, browsing Britanica for a lack of anything else to do. Suddenly, I started to get very anxious, to the point one might call a panic attack (I might rarely get these prior to this date, and afterwards). So I was very anxious, but I just sat there browsing away. Suddenly, I started to notice some very odd visual disturbances. Everything seemed to have a small amount of 'static' distortion. Along with this, I was seeing extremely numerous tracers and floaters. Colors started to get a bit more deep, and my anxiety just continued. I was shocked. Soon after these started I noticed my walls were moving a little bit, along with everything I looked at. After about an hour of this, I just tried to go to sleep, but that was difficult also. I wasnt seeing the tracers but the distortion was there, and I could see colors getting deeper. I wondered if I had somehow accidentally ingested LSD.
So I woke up the next day, and to my suprise, the tracers, and the static visual distortion persisted. I kind of brushed it off casually, though it was making me very scared. That was four months ago.
All these things have persisted to this day. There have been a few new things though -- after the first week I started to get "night tracers" which were the opposite color of the usual. Every night when the lights are turned off, its as if I'm watching some type of special planatarium show. I also became what I would call "chronically disassociated" (its minor though). For the first month of this when I looked at people, a strange humor would come to me and I would question if they were really there to myself. Also, I started to get kind of optical illusions (though it feels more like optical dilusions)where I might see, quite realistically, brown or black smoke coming from a tree or a wire. Along with this there have been longer trails (its psuedo-trippy), much more frequent dreams (from 3-4 a month to about 25), and much more frequent color deepness. It honestly feels as if I am on half a hit of LSD all the time. And I am wondering to myself, why?
The thing is, this may or may not be a stupid question: I started smoking marijuana in december, and smoked about 5 time until the day I was caught, January 5th. I had also done "DXM" a few times (Dextromethorphan Hydrobromide, which is in some cough syrups), and Dramamine a total of five times. Its the Dramamine that MIGHT be the problem. Dramamine is an OTC antihistimine, which, when taken in "recreational" doses, acts as a diliriant causing anxiety, paranoia, and hallucinations. I had taken 12 four times and 24 once(the day I got caught). All these experiences were absolute hell -- and the hallucinations really sucked. Imagine a clean ass ocean. Look down on it. See the ripples? Turn them black and put them in your center view. That, along with some major static distortion. But that is all.
The thing is, the day this started, I had taken absolutely no drugs. That and the fact I had not taken any dramamine for two months.
I got used to these "problems" a while ago. I've gone to several doctors for an answer, but I have not gotten any real clearness. Its pretty much "Uh, I don't know. Now lets focus on the depression..."
Anyone have any ideas? Thanks.
(P.S. - Another thing I get from time to time is this weird thing when I am lying down on my stomach. I feel like the floor is moving upwards on places all over my body...very trippy)
It all started on February 2nd of this year. As far as I remember, that day had just been a lazy slouch-around-the-house-all-day kind of deal. I drank my fluids, I ate my meals. The space shuttle news of that day was a bit suprising, but overall the day was just fine. Now, the time was around 10:30 PM, and I was at my computer, browsing Britanica for a lack of anything else to do. Suddenly, I started to get very anxious, to the point one might call a panic attack (I might rarely get these prior to this date, and afterwards). So I was very anxious, but I just sat there browsing away. Suddenly, I started to notice some very odd visual disturbances. Everything seemed to have a small amount of 'static' distortion. Along with this, I was seeing extremely numerous tracers and floaters. Colors started to get a bit more deep, and my anxiety just continued. I was shocked. Soon after these started I noticed my walls were moving a little bit, along with everything I looked at. After about an hour of this, I just tried to go to sleep, but that was difficult also. I wasnt seeing the tracers but the distortion was there, and I could see colors getting deeper. I wondered if I had somehow accidentally ingested LSD.
So I woke up the next day, and to my suprise, the tracers, and the static visual distortion persisted. I kind of brushed it off casually, though it was making me very scared. That was four months ago.
All these things have persisted to this day. There have been a few new things though -- after the first week I started to get "night tracers" which were the opposite color of the usual. Every night when the lights are turned off, its as if I'm watching some type of special planatarium show. I also became what I would call "chronically disassociated" (its minor though). For the first month of this when I looked at people, a strange humor would come to me and I would question if they were really there to myself. Also, I started to get kind of optical illusions (though it feels more like optical dilusions)where I might see, quite realistically, brown or black smoke coming from a tree or a wire. Along with this there have been longer trails (its psuedo-trippy), much more frequent dreams (from 3-4 a month to about 25), and much more frequent color deepness. It honestly feels as if I am on half a hit of LSD all the time. And I am wondering to myself, why?
The thing is, this may or may not be a stupid question: I started smoking marijuana in december, and smoked about 5 time until the day I was caught, January 5th. I had also done "DXM" a few times (Dextromethorphan Hydrobromide, which is in some cough syrups), and Dramamine a total of five times. Its the Dramamine that MIGHT be the problem. Dramamine is an OTC antihistimine, which, when taken in "recreational" doses, acts as a diliriant causing anxiety, paranoia, and hallucinations. I had taken 12 four times and 24 once(the day I got caught). All these experiences were absolute hell -- and the hallucinations really sucked. Imagine a clean ass ocean. Look down on it. See the ripples? Turn them black and put them in your center view. That, along with some major static distortion. But that is all.
The thing is, the day this started, I had taken absolutely no drugs. That and the fact I had not taken any dramamine for two months.
I got used to these "problems" a while ago. I've gone to several doctors for an answer, but I have not gotten any real clearness. Its pretty much "Uh, I don't know. Now lets focus on the depression..."
Anyone have any ideas? Thanks.
(P.S. - Another thing I get from time to time is this weird thing when I am lying down on my stomach. I feel like the floor is moving upwards on places all over my body...very trippy)