Hello Everyone

Just wanted to write as I am thinking of so many board members today... those I know, the ones I don't and the many who are just readers because they are still searching for a way out of drug use and the unhappiness it causes for so many of us.

I know a lot of times I seem to write on Sunday mornings and a lot of times I write about the words of a song I have been rsearching to use with my students. Not today. Actually, I am listening to Pachelbel's Canon in D Major. This is the beautiful music often played right before a wedding ceremony starts. It is the classical version and is interspersed with sounds of ocean waves. There are so many versions of this, but I am listening to the version played with three violins and a basso.

So why am I bothering to write about this? It is because I am so peaceful right now and I do wish all those struggling the hope to find peace again. It can happen. Last October, I was in such a dark hole of depression and anxiety that I did not really feel I could ever get out of it. I could not feel music then. I lost all rhythm and could not even clap in time any longer. There was no feeling in my soul when I heard music. Even ol' Smokey Robinson couldn't get my music mojo into gear. ( He is a Motown hero, Youngsters!)

Today, I am listening to peaceful music and being peaceful as I listen. My thoughts are calm. I am restored in my life. It was not peaceful very often as I struggled to get here. No, not at all. It felt like an eternity to reach this spot, but I am here now. I have joined the 'Otherside" with those who have gone before me. ( Thank you, Philster and Buckeye for helping me to believe the Other Side is a reality and not just the figment of my imagination that I so wanted).

It is a real place, The Other Side. Believe in it. Whew... I sound a bit like Tinkerbelle in Peter Pan when she tells the audience to Believe! Believe! to help Peter back from his 'death." That's okay. I am willing to risk sounding like Tinkerbelle today if I can help someone to believe that it is possible to get off the drugs and find peace again. Smiles.

With hope to all
reach

reach,

you are a completely and utterly amazing person... when I come check the board (when I have time;) ) it's like your screen name jumps off the board at me. I swear, sometimes the font is neon and blinking! I'm immediately drawn to your posts and replys and this is a perfect example of why... your words are always SO inspirational.
Can I share a secret w/ you? A while back you recommended a very good book about feeling ones own fears to my friend, kadee. Remember?... Well I was paying attention too. Although I didn't read the Susan Jeffries book yet, I did read a similar book called "Getting the love you want" by Harville Hendrix. One of my aunts has been bugging me to read this book for years, but I never did until recently. I read, I reflected, I learned.... I cried, I remembered.... I forced myself to relive all those painful memories from my past and almost magicaly, I started feeling better. I recognize now that I was afraid, very afraid of many things.... but I FACED THOSE FEARS HEAD-ON and now I'm living a new life. Everything is SO much better now and I'm finally, truly happy. I'm telling you about this because I believe you played a very important role in my recovery.... if I hadn't run out to get the book you recommended to kadee, I wouldn't have come across the book I did end up reading. The book that I should have read a LONG time ago. The book that helped change my life.
Thank you reach, you've helped me more than I can ever express and I will be eternally greatful. I can see that your helpping many others here too, and that gives me hope that this awful struggle that so many go through will someday be better understood and better treated. The stigma will continue to fade and those that need help will get it. Until then, your doing a very good and helpful thing here on these boards. Thanks, really.... thanks. jkm

HI Reach
You were the only one who posted to me on my thread and i really appreciate that. I can only hope to be where you are today. Sometimes I fear that I will never be "myself" again. My dr. should have me off the sub in sept/october.
October and Halloween is my favorite time of year and Im hoping to be clean when it comes around. Every Halloween for the past 5 years Im always hoping i will be clean, but never am. Now that I finally have a dr. --i hope i can reach my goals. Enjoy your peaceful day and space today! thanks for posting, roze

Wow Reach !!
Amazing. Just yesterday, my first day back from vacation, I had to be at work very early in the morning because I teach a spin class ( i also am a personal trainer and had a few clients early saturday), but while i was setting up my bikes and getting ready for everyone instead of listening to some heavy hitting music to gear me up I chose to listen to Pachebel's Canon in D. Not the version you are speaking of but it is still uncanny.... back from vacation with my mind in a new place I come to read here and *poof* there you are - again - completely able to relate to another addicts mind.
Thank you for your response on the other thread also, I do feel renewed and ready .

Cant wait to join you on the otherside...... (did you know that red hot chili peppers "otherside" is a song written by anthony keides (sp?) after he became sober from heroin addiction?)

Michelle :)

You sound like such a great person.............and I am happy for you.......maybe some of you will rub off on to me..........because I am feeling very blue this days
hope you day is a great one
JCS

Hi Friends

I am listening to Pachelbel again this morning as I do some research on jobs and stuff and go about my pretty boring stuff today. Smiles. I was excited to find some CD's online that are only this Canon in D done over and over with different instruments and by different artists. So I am going to spend a few dollars and order one. Big spender here, huh? Hahaha. Until I get steady work going, I have to live within my means which for now means no means. But this okay I have learned. Many of us are in the same spot. I would much rather struggle with money issues than addiction issues any day of my life.

I am happy reading the responses on this thread. The things we share that we often think are meaningless are so often much more than just 'coincedental' writings. Ever notice that? Jmk ended up reading a book that was very important for her to read. Roze was granted one more day of renewed hope of being clean and sober for Halloween this year. ( and yes, roze, I, too share that hope for you and with you). Micheele and I connected... once again!... and this time it was thru music. JCS is needing renewed hope and happiness in his life after losing a friend to drug abuse. His blues are from that and we need to help him feel restored again after handling his own drug issues and then losing s friend who was not able to do that.

I am busy in the things in life again, but I have learned to spend much more time in reflection of life... my life and how it connects, impacts and affects others. Oh, here on the board, certainly, but not limited to this board by any means. I am stretching in my life again... stretching to find new endeavors for me and stretching to discover how much real sharing with others is a vital part of life. I used to do these things naturally and with no thought. Now I have to work at it until it becomes natural again. I pulled deep inside myself when on all the medication and allowed myself to be in a stupor away from real life. So, I relearn and learn anew. And I must be consistent at this. We all must be. Just like a marriage relationship takes constant effort to be happy and successful, our relationship with drugs and how we live without them takes constant effort. I need to be consistent in appreciation of my marriage, I need to be consistent in my appreciation of being off the opiate and benzos ( and cholesterol meds! if I am not consistent with my work there, I will end up back on them).

Persistent, consistent, resistant. Those three words are in my thoughts a lot.

Okay, Dudes and Dudettes... I am now going to ppersistently put Pachelbel on again as the tape ended.... and turn the computer over to Hubby who has been patiently waiting his turn!

Good day to all
reach