New to Board. Need to talk to someone who does not qualify for Lasik surgery. About 90% of the people I work with have had or are having the surgery. Since I was told I cannot have the surgery, my friends avoid me. I was extremely disappointed that I couldn't have the surgery. I know they don't want to hurt my feelings but I feel like I have a contagious disease at work. What can I do? Has anyone had this experiience? Please, HELP!

Sorry to ask this, but what kind of people avoid you just because you can't have Lasik surgery??? I am just disgusted in their behavior. Do you have or can you wear contacts? Or maybe you should go to a different doctor for a second opinion. There are many many new procedures out now that you could possibly have. Maybe you should remind them about the negative sides of having the surgery... halo vision around lights, extreme sensitivity to light, itchy eyes, sometimes pain, risk of the procedure not working, fluxuating vision after the surgery, having to put drops in your eyes every hour of every day for months,... these are all things that can/will happen. Or, what if they still need glasses after the surgery? Many people still need reading glasses, especially after the age of 40.

I'm sorry to hear about your ideal, and know that you'd probably like to hear from people in your situation. Fact is, I had Lasik 3 months ago, but I hope my support will help you a bit.

[This message has been edited by TinyTot2 (edited 09-19-2003).]

I appreciate your input, TinyTot2. There is one group of doctors here, in our town of @100,000, that does the eye surgery. When I couldn't have the surgery, we tried contacts. It has been a year of trying to get the right prescription. Finally, two weeks ago, this doctor told me I had keratoconus and would have to go to the rigid gas permeable lenses. Before the lenses could come in, I awoke one morning with terrible pain in my right eye. Now, they are saying I have Fuch's Dystrophy and probably can't wear contact lenses. I am looking out-of-town for another doctor.
I am glad to hear that you had the Lasik surgery. None of the people I know that have had the surgery have had any problems and are very happy with the outcome. I really am happy for my friends...until I hear them whispering behind my back. When that happens, I just want to scream "HEY, IT'S OKAY. I AM HAPPY FOR YOU...YOU DON"T HAVE TO SNEAK AROUND TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SURGERY". But, of course, I can't do that so I just get my feelings hurt. Silly, isn't it!
Your suggestion about telling them the risks might be a good idea but then wouldn't that just sound like sour grapes? Thanks, again for sending your reply.
bricks

I agree. What kind of people avoid you because you can't have LASIK?

Why aren't you a candidate?

I don't think it's worth a second opinion. If one doctor says you're not a candidate, I think your risk of complications has greatly increased regardless of whether or not another doctor says you are.

Chris

bricks-

How about just telling them what you said here, i.e. "You don't have to sneak around to talk about it." If you let them know that it makes you feel WORSE and even more left out, then they will stop if they are really your friends. Also, I must say that once the novelty of the whole situation has worn off, they will probably lose interest in the subject and stop talking about it altogether, in front of you or not. This too shall pass.

Here is the bad news - keratoconus and Fuchs' are both diseases of the cornea. You are not now, nor will you ever be a candidate for LASIK. Any Dr. who says that you are is a quack. I realize that it is a bitter pill to swallow, but you will only hurt yourself further by continuing to search for a Dr. who would perform LASIK on you. If you do not have one already, you need an ophthamologist who specializes in cornea problems. Find one now because he will be your lifelong companion. Does anyone else in your family have Fuchs'? It is a heriditary condition so it would be quite surprising for it to just "pop up". Please educate yourself on these conditions so you are in a position to make informed choices about your treatment.

I do understand your disappointment. I am not a candidate for LASIK, and have been warned against wearing contacts as I am considered "one-eyed" and therefore high risk. Sucks when every other kid on the block gets the new, hot, toy for christmas and you don't huh?

Chris,
I think you are right about a second opinion regarding the Lasik surgery. However, this same doctor told me I had keratoconus and a week later he tells me I have Fuch's(pronounced fewks) Dystrophy. Either condition would prohibit Lasik surgery. I can get along fine without the surgery but I don't know how to convince my co-workers that I am okay with them having the surgery. You know, maybe these people are not worthy enough to be my friends. Thank you for your reply.
bricks

Shaman-
You are right about the novelty wearing off. After the latest group go for the one week checkup the chatter dies down quite a bit until the one month and 3 month checkups. The only doctors in town that do the surgery, schedule everyone on the same Saturday of the month and they do the surgery once a month. Tomorrow is THE DAY for Lasik this month, so I am dreading going to work on Monday. I think the reason there are several people going for surgery tomorrow is that we have recently received (for a monthly fee deducted from our paycheck) insurance that covers Lasik surgery and/or contact lenses, etc.
Yesterday, I told one of my friends, who is going for surgery tomorrow, that co-workers had been avoiding me like the plague and how badly that made me feel. I told her I was sincerely happy for her and the others, even though I could not have the surgery. She said she was aware of the behavior I have experienced and that I should just ignore them. I hope she will spread the word about how I feel.
I think the worst thing about this whole situation that bothers me the most, and shocks me the most, is the way I feel inside my gut whenever I hear that someone else is going for Lasik surgery. It is an extemely deep, profound sense of grief. When I got home from work, yesterday, I was very close to packing my bags and leaving town. (I guess if I couldn't have the toy all the other kids have, I decided not to play with them, anymore! LOL) Instead, I accidently found this message board. Maybe I should have started this topic under psychiatry! Being able to talk (or type) has saved my sanity. Thank you.
bricks

bricks-

Go ahead and grieve, there is nothing wrong with that. It's normal to think "Why me?". I'm sure people just don't know what to say, so they don't say anything at all. I hope your friend does spread the word for you so people will stop acting so weird.

I really do encourage you to find a corneal specialist. You deserve to be diagnosed and treated by someone who has seen and dealt with your condition before. Travel if you have to to find an expert. Sorry I can't help you more, I have strabismus not a cornea problem.

Good luck!

Shaman-
Do you know how to go about finding a cornea specialist? I am sure there is not one locally.
Have you had stabismus all of your life? Is there a treatment for it?
bricks

bricks, go to http://www.ama-assn.org That is the American Medical Association website. They have a doctor finder.

Shaman-
Do you know how to go about finding a cornea specialist? I am sure there is not one locally.
Have you had stabismus all of your life? Is there a treatment for it?
bricks


In one of the threads about astigmatism, there's the information that your vision must be STABLE FOR 2 YRS before any corrective surgery.

Welcome to the club, people just tend to avoid you about eye problems, even families. Almost as if they feel it's contagious, or maybe just that they don't know anything about it and don't want to reveal ignorance. Only people who've been there seem to want to discuss it. My opthalmologist says I'm not a candidate for refractive, probably because of diabetes, a lot of scarring, and lens implants after cataract surgery.

Finding a cornea specialist sounds like a good idea. This thread has been here a while so I'm sure you've done something by now. Will you update us?

I googled for eye transplants one time, and think there may already be corneal transplants, not sure. Can't remember. Good luck.

UPDATE.....Found a doctor in Dallas, TX who is up-to-date on latest treatments, problems, etc. It is the COOK EYE CLINIC. They are online, if you are interested. :wave: Bottom line...I don't have Fuch's (yea!). I do have keratoconus. I can't have Lasik surgery but I have some new frameless(almost) glasses and am very happy. :)