jendg28
08-02-2007, 09:40 AM
I have been stable for quite a while until yesterday. Out of nowhere, I felt despair and started to cry. I cried myself to sleep last night. I feel a lack of energy, and my sister in law and brother are totally taking atvantage of the fact that I'm not working. I've been chauffering them around everywhere(they only have 1 car) and my sister in law just called me and asked me if she could use my credit card to rent a car. Hell no. About 3-4 weeks ago I left a really stressful job situation to avoid relapsing. I was sexually assaulted and my boss accused me of lying about it. He actually had the nerve to call the police department, hospital, and the restaurant where I was eating before it happened. After my story matched up with what they said, he still wouldn't give up. He antagonized me every day, several times a day. I was already traumatized by what happened and I begged him to drop it and leave me alone. They went on vacation and I packed my stuff and left. I couldn't take it anymore. I drove the 20 hours from New Jersey to Arkansas and now I'm staying with my parents. I think the problem is that I can't find a job yet. The bills are starting to roll in and my parents have started to help me a little. My car payment is due in 2 weeks and I'm starting to FREAK out. I deferred a car payment about a year ago before my disability kicked in and unfortunately, my lender will only let me do that once during the entire life of the loan. I have applied for jobs everywhere. Nobody is calling me back. I'm going to start calling all of these places I applied to today to follow up on my resume/applications. I don't want to get depressed again. It's been so nice to actually feel stable for once in my life. I guess I'm going to have to go to the dr earlier than planned if this continues. Maybe I'm not depressed and it's just stress. It sounds stupid, but I'm not sure I can tell the difference.