alana52
08-02-2007, 12:25 PM
Just yesterday i visited my mum after not seeing her for 5 weeks we usually see eachother once a week but i lost my baby 5 weeks ago and mum was to ill (or drunk) to visit, i love my mother so much,10 months ago she was admited to hospital with liver failure due to having alcoholic hepatitis,enlarged liver swollen ankles and swollen tummy, she was detoxed and made a reasonable recovery, the dr said if she continued to drink she would die in some months, a short time later the drinking began again her and my stepfather are both alcoholics and he can be rather violent when drinking so i always have to be careful not to stick my nose in as when i tried to help before i was beaten and baned from seeing my mother, i managed to talk my stepfather round and with the promise of keeping my nose out i get to see mum. Back to yesterday i walked into my mums and there sat a shadow of the women my mother used to be she is orange/yellow in colour,the whites of her eyes are yellowing she is about 6 stone in weight (she was 8 stone last time i saw her) she cant eat due to vomiting all the time she is so weak, complaining of sores in her mouth, her concentration is awful she forgets whats she is talking about sometimes other times she is looking straight past me when i talk to her. i pinched the skin on the back of her hand it took 6 seconds for it to go back in place she is definatly dehydrated, she seems to be sipping at juice but really not that much, last night my stepfather gave her a drink of vodka and she vomited, this breaks my heart, I phoned her thismorning she was sluring her words and wreching like she was gona be sick, my father wont take her to hospital and she does not want to go, i think because he will be so pissed off having to drink alone:mad: HAS ANYONE EVER SAW THIS HAPPEN TO A LOVED ONE,WHATS GONA HAPPEN HERE. IS MUM DYING IN THE CHAIR SHE SITS ON, PLEASE HELP IM CONFUSED:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:
Sponsor
BrideToBe78
08-02-2007, 01:09 PM
I am so sorry to hear this. I have never been in a situation like this so I can only imagine what you are going through. I do have an enlarged liver, but no jaundice (yellowing of skin & eyes) or any other system of a failing liver. I don't know what to say to you except that I will keep your mum and you in my prayers. Do you have any other family members or friends that would step in and try to help you take her to the hospital? With everything you mentioned it seems as if that would be the best place for her to be right now. I'm sorry I can't be of more help & I hope you find the strength to cope with what's happening to your mum. Thoughts & Prayers :angel:
joanie49
08-02-2007, 01:18 PM
I too am praying for you and your mom. She needs to go to the hospital quickly. I pray you can get her there.
alana52
08-02-2007, 01:35 PM
The Rest Of My Family Live In Scotland The Only Other Person Left Is My Sister Who Is Also An Alcoholic I Am Powerless As To What I Can Do I Feel Like Im Letting Her Die, I Am So Scared Of My Stepdad And Im 33 Years Old How Sad Is That. My Husband Does Not Understand Either He Comes From A Wealthy High Class Family And Says I Should Just Stay Away. I Feel So Unhappy Today And So Alone I Guess No Matter What Happens With Mum I Will Feel Lonley. I Wrote My Mum A Poem Last Year And Have Never Shared It. Here It Is
I Never Really Concidered Or Ever Thought It Through
The Fears And The Battles My Mother Has Come Through
Im Afraid I Have Forgot Cause Its Been A Long Long While
My Mothers Sweet And Caring Side, Her Ever Gentle Smile.
Instead I See Her Tears As They Run Down Her Cheek
Oh Lord What Can I Do Im Feeling Very Weak.
But Mother I Do Promise As I Live And Breathe This Day
The Lord Our God Will Come To You And Wipe Those Tears Away.
I Love You Mum. Cathy
I Never Really Concidered Or Ever Thought It Through
The Fears And The Battles My Mother Has Come Through
Im Afraid I Have Forgot Cause Its Been A Long Long While
My Mothers Sweet And Caring Side, Her Ever Gentle Smile.
Instead I See Her Tears As They Run Down Her Cheek
Oh Lord What Can I Do Im Feeling Very Weak.
But Mother I Do Promise As I Live And Breathe This Day
The Lord Our God Will Come To You And Wipe Those Tears Away.
I Love You Mum. Cathy
BrideToBe78
08-02-2007, 08:37 PM
The Rest Of My Family Live In Scotland The Only Other Person Left Is My Sister Who Is Also An Alcoholic I Am Powerless As To What I Can Do I Feel Like Im Letting Her Die, I Am So Scared Of My Stepdad And Im 33 Years Old How Sad Is That. My Husband Does Not Understand Either He Comes From A Wealthy High Class Family And Says I Should Just Stay Away. I Feel So Unhappy Today And So Alone I Guess No Matter What Happens With Mum I Will Feel Lonley. I Wrote My Mum A Poem Last Year And Have Never Shared It. Here It Is
I Never Really Concidered Or Ever Thought It Through
The Fears And The Battles My Mother Has Come Through
Im Afraid I Have Forgot Cause Its Been A Long Long While
My Mothers Sweet And Caring Side, Her Ever Gentle Smile.
Instead I See Her Tears As They Run Down Her Cheek
Oh Lord What Can I Do Im Feeling Very Weak.
But Mother I Do Promise As I Live And Breathe This Day
The Lord Our God Will Come To You And Wipe Those Tears Away.
I Love You Mum. Cathy
That is a very sweet poem that you wrote for your mum. Tears came to my eyes when I read it. I am so sorry that you are feeling so alone. If you need someone to talk to; feel free to talk to me. I am so sad for you and your mum. I will continue to pray for the both of you and for your family. I have never had to deal with an alcoholic family member, but I've had alot of friends who have, so I know it's not an easy thing to do. Your mum really needs to go to the hospital though. She is in dire need of medical attention from the things you wrote before. The outcome of this situation is not going to be good if she doesn't. I am sorry I wrote that, but all of the symptoms she is having does not sound good at all & I am not going to sit here and tell you she will be okay when she might not be. Again, if there is any way you could talk your stepdad into taking her to the hospital then do, for your mum's sake. Your husband should be on your side and help you out rather than ignore the problem and tell you to stay away. It's your mum for Christ's sake. I guess to me it sounds easy, but I am not in your situation so I cannot put myself in your shoes. Would your stepdad rather her not make it and he be alone? Couldn't you just call the ambulance and the police and tell them what's going on and that you are scared for her life and then maybe you wouldn't have to deal with him directly. I don't know; those are just some suggestions. I'm sorry; if I lived near you I would try to help you out any way that I could, but unfortunately I live in Oklahoma. I will be here if you need to talk. I will pray for you and your family everyday and I hope everything works out for you. :angel:
I Never Really Concidered Or Ever Thought It Through
The Fears And The Battles My Mother Has Come Through
Im Afraid I Have Forgot Cause Its Been A Long Long While
My Mothers Sweet And Caring Side, Her Ever Gentle Smile.
Instead I See Her Tears As They Run Down Her Cheek
Oh Lord What Can I Do Im Feeling Very Weak.
But Mother I Do Promise As I Live And Breathe This Day
The Lord Our God Will Come To You And Wipe Those Tears Away.
I Love You Mum. Cathy
That is a very sweet poem that you wrote for your mum. Tears came to my eyes when I read it. I am so sorry that you are feeling so alone. If you need someone to talk to; feel free to talk to me. I am so sad for you and your mum. I will continue to pray for the both of you and for your family. I have never had to deal with an alcoholic family member, but I've had alot of friends who have, so I know it's not an easy thing to do. Your mum really needs to go to the hospital though. She is in dire need of medical attention from the things you wrote before. The outcome of this situation is not going to be good if she doesn't. I am sorry I wrote that, but all of the symptoms she is having does not sound good at all & I am not going to sit here and tell you she will be okay when she might not be. Again, if there is any way you could talk your stepdad into taking her to the hospital then do, for your mum's sake. Your husband should be on your side and help you out rather than ignore the problem and tell you to stay away. It's your mum for Christ's sake. I guess to me it sounds easy, but I am not in your situation so I cannot put myself in your shoes. Would your stepdad rather her not make it and he be alone? Couldn't you just call the ambulance and the police and tell them what's going on and that you are scared for her life and then maybe you wouldn't have to deal with him directly. I don't know; those are just some suggestions. I'm sorry; if I lived near you I would try to help you out any way that I could, but unfortunately I live in Oklahoma. I will be here if you need to talk. I will pray for you and your family everyday and I hope everything works out for you. :angel:
alana52
08-03-2007, 06:21 PM
Thank you so much fo your support,
I WENT TO VISIT TODAY AGAIN, I TOLD MY STEPDAD IN THE NICEST WAY I COULD, HE SAID IF SHE GETS ANY WORSE I WILL GET HER TO HOSPITAL, I SAID JESUS DAD SHE IS A MESS HE SAID I WAS OVER REACTING. (THE BUGGER) I WATCHED HER TRYING TO GET OUT OF HER CHAIR HARDLY ABLE TO WALK IN FACT I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO FALL I JUMPED UP AND DAD RACED PASSED ME TO GET HER ITS LIKE HE THINKS SHE IS HIS POSSESION AND NO ONE SHOULD BE NEAR HER BUT HIM, WHEN HE RAN PASSED ME I RAISED MY ARM TO COVER MY FACE SUDDENLY I WAS THAT SCARED LITTLE GIRL HE USED TO BEAT AND ABUSE, HE HAD NO INTENTION OF DOING ANYTHING BUT SAVING MUM FROM FALLING OVER BUT THE MEMORIES CAME FLOODING BACK, I CANT BELEIVE HOW FRIGHTENED I AM OF HIM AND THE WORST THING IS SHE IS SO SCARED OF HIM IF I RING AN AMBULANCE SHE PROBABLY WONT GO WITH THEM. I PHONED THE HOSPITAL TODAY AND EXPLAINED THEY HAVE TOLD ME ON MONDAY I SHOULD RING HER DR IN CONFIDENCE AND HE WILL MAKE A HOUSE CALL JUST AS IF ITS A REGULAR ROUTINE AND GET HER INTO HOSPITAL, FROM THE SYMTOMS I EXPLAINED HE SAID IT DOES SOUND LIKE SHE IS DYING AND PERHAPS THE HOSPITAL COULD ONLY COMFORT HER TILL THE END. GOD FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING THIS BUT I THINK THE POOR WOMEN WOULD BE BETTER OFF GONE GIVEN THE PAINFUL LIFE SHE IS LIVING AT THE MOMENT. MY HEART IS BREAKING I WISH I WAS A STRONGER PERSON MY HEAD IS CONSUMED WITH HORRIBLE MEMORIES AND MY HEART IS BREAKING .
I WENT TO VISIT TODAY AGAIN, I TOLD MY STEPDAD IN THE NICEST WAY I COULD, HE SAID IF SHE GETS ANY WORSE I WILL GET HER TO HOSPITAL, I SAID JESUS DAD SHE IS A MESS HE SAID I WAS OVER REACTING. (THE BUGGER) I WATCHED HER TRYING TO GET OUT OF HER CHAIR HARDLY ABLE TO WALK IN FACT I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO FALL I JUMPED UP AND DAD RACED PASSED ME TO GET HER ITS LIKE HE THINKS SHE IS HIS POSSESION AND NO ONE SHOULD BE NEAR HER BUT HIM, WHEN HE RAN PASSED ME I RAISED MY ARM TO COVER MY FACE SUDDENLY I WAS THAT SCARED LITTLE GIRL HE USED TO BEAT AND ABUSE, HE HAD NO INTENTION OF DOING ANYTHING BUT SAVING MUM FROM FALLING OVER BUT THE MEMORIES CAME FLOODING BACK, I CANT BELEIVE HOW FRIGHTENED I AM OF HIM AND THE WORST THING IS SHE IS SO SCARED OF HIM IF I RING AN AMBULANCE SHE PROBABLY WONT GO WITH THEM. I PHONED THE HOSPITAL TODAY AND EXPLAINED THEY HAVE TOLD ME ON MONDAY I SHOULD RING HER DR IN CONFIDENCE AND HE WILL MAKE A HOUSE CALL JUST AS IF ITS A REGULAR ROUTINE AND GET HER INTO HOSPITAL, FROM THE SYMTOMS I EXPLAINED HE SAID IT DOES SOUND LIKE SHE IS DYING AND PERHAPS THE HOSPITAL COULD ONLY COMFORT HER TILL THE END. GOD FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING THIS BUT I THINK THE POOR WOMEN WOULD BE BETTER OFF GONE GIVEN THE PAINFUL LIFE SHE IS LIVING AT THE MOMENT. MY HEART IS BREAKING I WISH I WAS A STRONGER PERSON MY HEAD IS CONSUMED WITH HORRIBLE MEMORIES AND MY HEART IS BREAKING .
hopetofeelwell1
08-06-2007, 02:54 AM
Cead Mile Failte!! My heart goes with you and if it were me--I also had an alcohol problem-- 23 years sober--and if my mother was involved, I would call the police to pick me up and all of us would get her out of that house IMMEDIATELY if not sooner and over to the hospital. I HATE the actions of intimidating, abusive men and I've had enough of them in my own life(most of them were sober, too!) and they're cowards deep down. It's the booze talking and I don't know of one of them who has the gumption to really pull anything in front of a couple of burly policemen from the Old Sod. I know you are in fear because of your mother, but don't let that stepfather get to you--HE'S NOTHING!!! I will pray to the Almighty Father for the safety of both of you and for peace of mind. God bless--Hopeto--
BrideToBe78
08-07-2007, 08:58 PM
Sorry it's taken me awhile to write back to you. How did the home doctor visit go? Did he get her admitted to the hospital? I hope everything goes well for you and your mum. It won't be an easy journey for her or for you, but hopefully she will get some comfort. I will continue to pray for you and your family. ~Thoughts & Prayers~ Marisa :angel: