desperate1
08-03-2007, 12:04 PM
Hello! I post normally on the fibro/cfs/ms boards, but I am desperate for some information about adderall and so far have not been able to find the info I need. I do not have ADD, but I do take adderall and I'm hoping some of you on this board who use Adderall can share some of your knowledge with me.
I have been ill for four years and in May was finally diagnosed with fibro/cfs, while my doctor strongly suspects MS. (I'm still undergoing the diagnosis process for that).
Two of my worst symptoms are severe, debilitating fatigue and brain fog (this includes memory issues, poor word recall, disorganized thinking, etc).
My doctor prescribed Adderall and I began taking it at the end of June. Started on 5 mg 2x a day, and for the first few days I felt my thinking was a bit clearer, although it did nothing to combat the fatigue and weakness.
Two weeks later, doctor increased my dosage to 20 -25 mg. Again, initially I seemed to see some cognitive benefits and a very slight decrease in fatigue. But I was still a million times more tired and weak than a normal, healthy person. (I am a 33 year old female, had been active, worked out 5x a week, ate very well, never drank or smoked.)
Last week the doctor told me to start taking 35 - 45 mg a day, spaced out however I felt would suit me best. Since I seem to metabolize this medication very quickly (one dose lasts only about 3 to 3.5 hours), I take it
3x per day to try to get the maximum amount of effect from it. I try to take the next dose before the last dose has worn off.
Even at 45 mg, I still nap during the day, am tired, have bad muscle weakness, and the brain fog had only decreased minimally.
I also have had NO side effects from this drug, except for a bit of a tinny taste in my mouth after taking the meds. (This happens to me even with Tylenol).
Sorry for the long post. Essentially my question is, in your experiences with Adderall, is it worth it for me to keep increasing the dose? One of my doctors said everyone is different and it's a matter of finding "My" effective dose. But I'm taking this for fatigue and not ADD. If I'm only slight improvement in fatigue at 45 mg, will I really see a benefit if I go up to 60, 75, 80 mg? I don't want to give up on this if it will work. But I don't want to keep increasing in vain.
I have done so much research on this drug and hear people say how it "wires" them or gives them extreme energy and motivation. I don't understand how I can be on 45 mg (which seems high to me) and still be able to go to sleep, or be so tired I can't think or move very quickly. I feel like my mind and body are stuck in quicksand.
I would appreciate so much if people have info on the following questions:
How much have people taken before they see "energizing" effects?
If you let one dose wear off before you take the next, does the next dose seem less effective?
Do some people just need a much higher dosage than others? Is it possible I just metabolize it so quickly I need to take more and more often?
Has anyone been on Adderall for a very long period of time, and if so, have you experienced any negative effects from it?
I'm sorry to "barge in" on your board. I thought I might find more Adderall users here than on other boards, and I so badly want this to work, so I'd just love to hear from others who use it.
I would appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks so much and best wishes to you all!!!!!!!!!!
I have been ill for four years and in May was finally diagnosed with fibro/cfs, while my doctor strongly suspects MS. (I'm still undergoing the diagnosis process for that).
Two of my worst symptoms are severe, debilitating fatigue and brain fog (this includes memory issues, poor word recall, disorganized thinking, etc).
My doctor prescribed Adderall and I began taking it at the end of June. Started on 5 mg 2x a day, and for the first few days I felt my thinking was a bit clearer, although it did nothing to combat the fatigue and weakness.
Two weeks later, doctor increased my dosage to 20 -25 mg. Again, initially I seemed to see some cognitive benefits and a very slight decrease in fatigue. But I was still a million times more tired and weak than a normal, healthy person. (I am a 33 year old female, had been active, worked out 5x a week, ate very well, never drank or smoked.)
Last week the doctor told me to start taking 35 - 45 mg a day, spaced out however I felt would suit me best. Since I seem to metabolize this medication very quickly (one dose lasts only about 3 to 3.5 hours), I take it
3x per day to try to get the maximum amount of effect from it. I try to take the next dose before the last dose has worn off.
Even at 45 mg, I still nap during the day, am tired, have bad muscle weakness, and the brain fog had only decreased minimally.
I also have had NO side effects from this drug, except for a bit of a tinny taste in my mouth after taking the meds. (This happens to me even with Tylenol).
Sorry for the long post. Essentially my question is, in your experiences with Adderall, is it worth it for me to keep increasing the dose? One of my doctors said everyone is different and it's a matter of finding "My" effective dose. But I'm taking this for fatigue and not ADD. If I'm only slight improvement in fatigue at 45 mg, will I really see a benefit if I go up to 60, 75, 80 mg? I don't want to give up on this if it will work. But I don't want to keep increasing in vain.
I have done so much research on this drug and hear people say how it "wires" them or gives them extreme energy and motivation. I don't understand how I can be on 45 mg (which seems high to me) and still be able to go to sleep, or be so tired I can't think or move very quickly. I feel like my mind and body are stuck in quicksand.
I would appreciate so much if people have info on the following questions:
How much have people taken before they see "energizing" effects?
If you let one dose wear off before you take the next, does the next dose seem less effective?
Do some people just need a much higher dosage than others? Is it possible I just metabolize it so quickly I need to take more and more often?
Has anyone been on Adderall for a very long period of time, and if so, have you experienced any negative effects from it?
I'm sorry to "barge in" on your board. I thought I might find more Adderall users here than on other boards, and I so badly want this to work, so I'd just love to hear from others who use it.
I would appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks so much and best wishes to you all!!!!!!!!!!
Sponsor
jmdombr
08-03-2007, 01:58 PM
Hmm, everyone is different is very true, especially with this drug. Have you looked at taking the XR version? For me it lasts 10 hours on one dose. I do notice I get the most done in the first few hours and then it wears off slightly later on, but it doesnt bother me, bc i am ready to take a break.
If I need a little boost, I drink some caffeine, small amounts help give it a boost..
50mg + is very high, you should be bouncing off the walls or getting anxiety, but like I said everyone is different. You may want to talk to your doc about possibly dexadrine or Adderall XR. good luck
If I need a little boost, I drink some caffeine, small amounts help give it a boost..
50mg + is very high, you should be bouncing off the walls or getting anxiety, but like I said everyone is different. You may want to talk to your doc about possibly dexadrine or Adderall XR. good luck
desperate1
08-03-2007, 08:05 PM
Thank you so much for your reply!
Does anyone else have adderall experience to share or answers to my questions?
Does anyone else have adderall experience to share or answers to my questions?
Johna
08-03-2007, 09:25 PM
Hi, if you aren't ADD/ADHD than adderall will have a different effect on you than someone who has ADD/ADHD.
Good Luck
Johna
Good Luck
Johna
rheanna
08-04-2007, 02:05 AM
Johna,
Actually, Adderal and all the other drugs prescribed for ADD/ADHD act differently on different poeple -- some people are helped, some people notice little or no effect, some people have bad reactions and can't take the drugs at all. I'm sure it's the same for people who are taking Adderal for other reasons besides ADD.
desperate1,
Welcome to the ADD Board. It is interesting to read that doctors are trying Adderal for fibro/cfs -- of course not so "interesting" for you because you just want a cure! I have only a short experience with Ritalin, so cannot advise anything about Adderal. There are lots of threads about it here, which you might find helpful to read (on days when you have a little extra energy to spare). I hope that others will have more info for you.
--Rheanna
Actually, Adderal and all the other drugs prescribed for ADD/ADHD act differently on different poeple -- some people are helped, some people notice little or no effect, some people have bad reactions and can't take the drugs at all. I'm sure it's the same for people who are taking Adderal for other reasons besides ADD.
desperate1,
Welcome to the ADD Board. It is interesting to read that doctors are trying Adderal for fibro/cfs -- of course not so "interesting" for you because you just want a cure! I have only a short experience with Ritalin, so cannot advise anything about Adderal. There are lots of threads about it here, which you might find helpful to read (on days when you have a little extra energy to spare). I hope that others will have more info for you.
--Rheanna
index.html
08-04-2007, 08:34 AM
Desperate1,
First, welcome to this board! Who knows? Maybe you do have ADHD and just aren't diagnosed. (Keeps this thread relative to this board).;)
I'm sorry for all your suffering. It's interesting to me that your doc chose Adderall for you; I would think that Provigil would be a more logical choice. I wonder what his rational was.
Here is something for you to put some thought into.
It would be a good idea for you to REALLY watch your symptoms in relation to each dose of Adderall. In fact, it would probably be useful if you kept some kind of a simple log for a little while.
The reason I suggest that is this. Adderall actually peaks at about 3 hours. It's unlikely that your dose is wearing off at that time; it's more likely that what you are experiencing at 3 to 3.5 hours is actually the peak of the medication's effect. If at 3 hours you are feeling worse rather than better, it may well be that the Adderall is actually making you more tired.
I know you are convinced that you are rapidly metabolizing the Adderall and that it is wearing off at three hours. It would be useful, I think, for you to consider that it's having the opposite effect. Keeping a log would give you a better idea of what is really going on. Especially, if you are as foggy as you say you are - it may be hard for you to keep track of dosages and symptoms without one.
Put some thought into it anyway.
Good luck and God Bless!
First, welcome to this board! Who knows? Maybe you do have ADHD and just aren't diagnosed. (Keeps this thread relative to this board).;)
I'm sorry for all your suffering. It's interesting to me that your doc chose Adderall for you; I would think that Provigil would be a more logical choice. I wonder what his rational was.
Here is something for you to put some thought into.
It would be a good idea for you to REALLY watch your symptoms in relation to each dose of Adderall. In fact, it would probably be useful if you kept some kind of a simple log for a little while.
The reason I suggest that is this. Adderall actually peaks at about 3 hours. It's unlikely that your dose is wearing off at that time; it's more likely that what you are experiencing at 3 to 3.5 hours is actually the peak of the medication's effect. If at 3 hours you are feeling worse rather than better, it may well be that the Adderall is actually making you more tired.
I know you are convinced that you are rapidly metabolizing the Adderall and that it is wearing off at three hours. It would be useful, I think, for you to consider that it's having the opposite effect. Keeping a log would give you a better idea of what is really going on. Especially, if you are as foggy as you say you are - it may be hard for you to keep track of dosages and symptoms without one.
Put some thought into it anyway.
Good luck and God Bless!
addprogrammer
08-04-2007, 04:52 PM
Index,
That is one of the most insightful posts ever. Thank you. Also, I failed to pay you a well deserve compliment on graduating Magna "cuum" Laude (and teaching em how to spell). You may have "smarts" on your side but ADD can bring down geniuses. Sheer determinedness on your part no doubt was a player too.
To stay within post ...
Desparate1 do the journal thing.
I did not respond because your use of Adderall for CFS and Fibro Mialgia is well beyond by scope of experience - that is - for ADHD.
I hope the best for you.
Bob
That is one of the most insightful posts ever. Thank you. Also, I failed to pay you a well deserve compliment on graduating Magna "cuum" Laude (and teaching em how to spell). You may have "smarts" on your side but ADD can bring down geniuses. Sheer determinedness on your part no doubt was a player too.
To stay within post ...
Desparate1 do the journal thing.
I did not respond because your use of Adderall for CFS and Fibro Mialgia is well beyond by scope of experience - that is - for ADHD.
I hope the best for you.
Bob
index.html
08-04-2007, 05:19 PM
{Sorry this is unrelated to the thread. Aww shucks, Bob, you've given me lots of compliments along the way. I'm only inattentive, I don't have the "H" so I don't really consider myself in the league with you and my eldest. But yes, sure determination had alot to do with it. Unfortunately, determination wasn't enough to carry me post-graduation: lack of self-esteem has interferred with attaining any significant career goals. That is, other than the one that I wanted most - which I got. That is, to be a mom!
How low self-esteem plays into all of this would be an interesting topic for another thread. As in, how much do we fail to achieve because of our disorder and how much is because we didn't fit in/measure up as kids.}
Desperate1, consider the notion that the Adderall makes you more tired rather than less. It does alot of people, you know: that's why it works for ADHD.
How low self-esteem plays into all of this would be an interesting topic for another thread. As in, how much do we fail to achieve because of our disorder and how much is because we didn't fit in/measure up as kids.}
Desperate1, consider the notion that the Adderall makes you more tired rather than less. It does alot of people, you know: that's why it works for ADHD.
desperate1
08-04-2007, 09:10 PM
Thanks so much to all of you. I truly appreciate your insight!
Index, great, great, great advice, thank you! I would never in a million years have considered that Adderall could make me more tired, because all of my research has turned up the "be careful, it's like a prescription for speed" information. Very, very interesting to know it could be affecting me in the opposite way.
I do keep a journal, although I can barely read my own handwriting late. I went from perfect penmanship to complete chicken scratch. And I can never concentrate, so the ADD thing is not so far-fetched, though I do suspect it is more a side effect of the major fatigue. Who knows? I try not to self-diagnose. It's so easy to convince yourself you have one thing and then you can miss the signs of something else.
Anyway, thanks again. I really appreciate hearing from you all!
p.s. index, i should mention that I asked all of my many docs about provigil since I have read great things, but none of them had ever heard of it being used for ms or fibro related fatigue(?!) I have been to clinics and hosptials affiliated with Ivy League Universities and have seen very highly respected docs, and I just can't believe none of them are willing to prescribe. They all tell me they only know of using for narcolepsy.
Also, after an hour or hour and a half on adderall I get a short, not very intense lift in energy and clarity. That's why I assumed it was "peaking" early, after an hour or two, and wearing off around 3 hours. Now I wonder what the heck is going on. My doctor seems convinced that we just haven't gotten to a high enough dose yet.
Well, this is very interesting food for thought (when I can actually think.)
My gratitude to you all. :)
Index, great, great, great advice, thank you! I would never in a million years have considered that Adderall could make me more tired, because all of my research has turned up the "be careful, it's like a prescription for speed" information. Very, very interesting to know it could be affecting me in the opposite way.
I do keep a journal, although I can barely read my own handwriting late. I went from perfect penmanship to complete chicken scratch. And I can never concentrate, so the ADD thing is not so far-fetched, though I do suspect it is more a side effect of the major fatigue. Who knows? I try not to self-diagnose. It's so easy to convince yourself you have one thing and then you can miss the signs of something else.
Anyway, thanks again. I really appreciate hearing from you all!
p.s. index, i should mention that I asked all of my many docs about provigil since I have read great things, but none of them had ever heard of it being used for ms or fibro related fatigue(?!) I have been to clinics and hosptials affiliated with Ivy League Universities and have seen very highly respected docs, and I just can't believe none of them are willing to prescribe. They all tell me they only know of using for narcolepsy.
Also, after an hour or hour and a half on adderall I get a short, not very intense lift in energy and clarity. That's why I assumed it was "peaking" early, after an hour or two, and wearing off around 3 hours. Now I wonder what the heck is going on. My doctor seems convinced that we just haven't gotten to a high enough dose yet.
Well, this is very interesting food for thought (when I can actually think.)
My gratitude to you all. :)
index.html
08-05-2007, 05:29 AM
Desperate1, you don't even have to go to the trouble of journaling.
Make yourself some kind of chart where you enter time of dose, then maybe blocks at certain time intervals (like 1,3, 5 hours post dose). Then use arrows or something- 1 arrow up means improved, 2 really improved, 1 down slightly worse, etc. Color code your arrows - 1 color for energy, and another for mental clarity.
If what you really are seeing is a slight improvement at 1 or 2 hours post-dose, but a worsening at around 3 - 3.5 hours, I'd have to guess that the dose you are taking might be too high for you.
This is all assuming that you are taking plain Adderall and not Adderall XR - there's a big difference.
Make yourself some kind of chart where you enter time of dose, then maybe blocks at certain time intervals (like 1,3, 5 hours post dose). Then use arrows or something- 1 arrow up means improved, 2 really improved, 1 down slightly worse, etc. Color code your arrows - 1 color for energy, and another for mental clarity.
If what you really are seeing is a slight improvement at 1 or 2 hours post-dose, but a worsening at around 3 - 3.5 hours, I'd have to guess that the dose you are taking might be too high for you.
This is all assuming that you are taking plain Adderall and not Adderall XR - there's a big difference.
desperate1
08-05-2007, 02:34 PM
Hi Index,
Great idea with the chart and arrows. I will try that. I admit with the fatigue I am having, sometimes it seems to much to even write in a journal, even a sentence or two. Arrows are much easier.
I take regular Adderall, not XR. Saw the same slight improvement on 10 mg around 2 hours as I do with 40 mg. It's probably that Adderall is not right for me, but I just want to make sure I don't dismiss it too soon. That's why I'm all over the internet asking annoying questions of people who have taken it, LOL.
Thanks again for the great advice. I am extremely grateful that you took the time to share your insight with me.
Great idea with the chart and arrows. I will try that. I admit with the fatigue I am having, sometimes it seems to much to even write in a journal, even a sentence or two. Arrows are much easier.
I take regular Adderall, not XR. Saw the same slight improvement on 10 mg around 2 hours as I do with 40 mg. It's probably that Adderall is not right for me, but I just want to make sure I don't dismiss it too soon. That's why I'm all over the internet asking annoying questions of people who have taken it, LOL.
Thanks again for the great advice. I am extremely grateful that you took the time to share your insight with me.
index.html
08-05-2007, 02:37 PM
One last thought for you. I know that Provigil is normally prescribed for narcolepsy and not what you have. It's also true, though, that Adderall isn't normally prescribed for what you have. It seems to me that your situation is closer to narcolepsy than it is to ADD. Just IMHO, of course!
PS Your questions are NOT annoying. Ask all you want. Probably won't have any answers, but we're happy to be asked anyway!
PS Your questions are NOT annoying. Ask all you want. Probably won't have any answers, but we're happy to be asked anyway!
SanyBelle
08-05-2007, 04:05 PM
Great advice! I've been on both Adderall and Provigil and had similar questions. I created a thread in the Drug Interaction forum here. I hope I get some replies. Thanks! :angel: :wave:
index.html
08-05-2007, 04:27 PM
Great advice! I've been on both Adderall and Provigil and had similar questions. I created a thread in the Drug Interaction forum here. I hope I get some replies. Thanks!
Great, I'll have a look at it although I might not have anything to offer! Maybe others here will.
Great, I'll have a look at it although I might not have anything to offer! Maybe others here will.
Jenn4508
08-05-2007, 10:03 PM
Desperate1 I am in the same boat as you. I don't take Adderall for ADD/ADHD but for the fatigue associated with the Fibro. If you aren't on the XR form it only works for approximately 4 hours max anyway. I am also BiPolar so I have a list of cocktails that make me wonder why I take any of the drugs sometimes. However, I know I need them. My shrink, pain management, and GP doc all work together on the meds but I still don't like the interactions between some of them.
There are many good suggestions in the thread so you may want to look into them. I wouldn't just keep increasing the Adderall though only b/c the fibro has the fatigue associated with it. I use to fight taking the naps and all that b/c I felt worthless and useless however, my doctor finally told me that when you get tired, go to bed or you will pay for it later with more days in bed. I finally started listening to him b/c I found him to be correct.
Sorry for rambling but some of us fibro people get confused on the issue.
Please forgive.
Best Wishes to all!
There are many good suggestions in the thread so you may want to look into them. I wouldn't just keep increasing the Adderall though only b/c the fibro has the fatigue associated with it. I use to fight taking the naps and all that b/c I felt worthless and useless however, my doctor finally told me that when you get tired, go to bed or you will pay for it later with more days in bed. I finally started listening to him b/c I found him to be correct.
Sorry for rambling but some of us fibro people get confused on the issue.
Please forgive.
Best Wishes to all!
desperate1
08-05-2007, 11:41 PM
Hi Jenn!
Thanks for the tip--the way my doctors talk you'd think it was "take this adderall and you'll be normal like you used to be again." So I suppose "some" improvement is a sliver liining then, right?
Do you mind if I ask how much adderall you take and how long you've been on it? Do you see much improvement in the fatigue? If I could just get to a point where I'm able to think straight most of the time and not weak with fatigue, I'd be pleased. Tired I can handle. Bone tired fatigue is tough to bear all day every day.
Funny, my brother has ADD and his doc has never mentioned adderall. Yet here I am being handed the stuff like it's no big deal.
Thanks for the tip--the way my doctors talk you'd think it was "take this adderall and you'll be normal like you used to be again." So I suppose "some" improvement is a sliver liining then, right?
Do you mind if I ask how much adderall you take and how long you've been on it? Do you see much improvement in the fatigue? If I could just get to a point where I'm able to think straight most of the time and not weak with fatigue, I'd be pleased. Tired I can handle. Bone tired fatigue is tough to bear all day every day.
Funny, my brother has ADD and his doc has never mentioned adderall. Yet here I am being handed the stuff like it's no big deal.
Jennita
08-06-2007, 03:31 AM
EFA's , magnesium and ALA are supposed to be helpful with CFS. Maybe adding those to your regiment might help?
desperate1
08-06-2007, 10:44 AM
Yeah, I take them, although I have to say lately I've been lax. I was really good about it for two years, never skipped a day. And once I started forgetting a few times a week I did notice that they were helping when I took them every day, if only a bit. Omega 3s, I've discovered, are a HUGE necessity. They help with everything. I'm pretty sure they even cleared up my skin, lol.
Today I'm trying to space my adderall out to 4x a day instead of 3 to see what happens.
Today I'm trying to space my adderall out to 4x a day instead of 3 to see what happens.
Jenn4508
08-06-2007, 07:53 PM
Desperate1 - The Adderall is not a magic energy pill no matter how much we wish it were. I take 20 mg 2 x per day. Somedays it works better than others but that is the fibro and you have to remember that. The max that is suggested taking in one day is 60 mg and you really shouldn't take it after 4 pm due to the fact of sleep issues.
The difference between you and I is that I get very fatigued but not sleepy and I only sleep about 2-3 hours every night if that much. Sometimes I go for up to 60 hours with no sleep. The doc has given me sleeping pills and they only work for about 2-3 hours also if that much.
Sometimes I feel like Elvis, they want to give me pills to wake up and pills to go to sleep. ;) I do like the Adderall and am happy if it only last 4 hours b/c that is 4 hours of energy I wouldn't normally have.
Hang in there and I hope this helps somewhat. Keep Posting and hopefully we both can get some help here.
Thanks to all that are posting trying to help and God Bless you all! :angel:
The difference between you and I is that I get very fatigued but not sleepy and I only sleep about 2-3 hours every night if that much. Sometimes I go for up to 60 hours with no sleep. The doc has given me sleeping pills and they only work for about 2-3 hours also if that much.
Sometimes I feel like Elvis, they want to give me pills to wake up and pills to go to sleep. ;) I do like the Adderall and am happy if it only last 4 hours b/c that is 4 hours of energy I wouldn't normally have.
Hang in there and I hope this helps somewhat. Keep Posting and hopefully we both can get some help here.
Thanks to all that are posting trying to help and God Bless you all! :angel:
Jenn4508
08-11-2007, 07:41 PM
Rach82 Thanks for the info. I do agree with the generic versus the brand name on the Adderall. My son was diagnosed with ADD years ago and his doc would not allow a generic version so I was aware of that. I on the other hand did not think about it with me. I guess I worry about the kids more than myself. Plus, I take so many drugs, even with insurance the cost each month is way out there. With me no longer able to work, it really takes its toll.
Jennita Can you explain the EPA, Magnesium and the ALA. How much someone would take and what the EPA and ALA is? I take a multi-vitamin but any info would be helpful?
Thanks to all
Jennita Can you explain the EPA, Magnesium and the ALA. How much someone would take and what the EPA and ALA is? I take a multi-vitamin but any info would be helpful?
Thanks to all
seriousperson
08-11-2007, 09:21 PM
I've been on Adderall for ADD for about 2 years. I took the regular for about a year and a half and switched to the XR after that. I have other issues too and take a cocktail of drugs in the morning, including 2 that make me sleepy. They are winning. I could easily take a nap anytime after the Adderall, and in fact frequently do come home on my lunch break to take a nap.
But it is working to keep my mind from wandering too much, and that's the main thing.
But it is working to keep my mind from wandering too much, and that's the main thing.
Jennita
08-12-2007, 04:14 AM
Alpha Lipoic Acid is an antioxidant which is also enhances energy production in the body. EFA is part of the Omega family. You can get either supplements or food sources include spinach, red meat and potatos(ALA), fish and nuts(Omegas) and peanuts are packed with magnesium.
Jenn4508
08-12-2007, 05:04 AM
Alpha Lipoic Acid is an antioxidant which is also enhances energy production in the body. EFA is part of the Omega family. You can get either supplements or food sources include spinach, red meat and potatos(ALA), fish and nuts(Omegas) and peanuts are packed with magnesium.
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much!
Jenn4508
08-12-2007, 05:05 AM
I've been on Adderall for ADD for about 2 years. I took the regular for about a year and a half and switched to the XR after that. I have other issues too and take a cocktail of drugs in the morning, including 2 that make me sleepy. They are winning. I could easily take a nap anytime after the Adderall, and in fact frequently do come home on my lunch break to take a nap.
But it is working to keep my mind from wandering too much, and that's the main thing.
I have been on it about that long also... I am on the XR form too. Do you mind me asking what other types of cocktails you are on.
But it is working to keep my mind from wandering too much, and that's the main thing.
I have been on it about that long also... I am on the XR form too. Do you mind me asking what other types of cocktails you are on.
seriousperson
08-13-2007, 10:30 PM
I have been on it about that long also... I am on the XR form too. Do you mind me asking what other types of cocktails you are on.In the morning I take 20mg Adderall XR, 100mg Wellbutrin (works well for depression), 20mg Lexipro (depression/OCD), 0.5mg Risperdal (works well for anxiety/OCD). In the evening I take another Risperdal.
It makes me tired just thinking about it.
It makes me tired just thinking about it.
magnolialady
09-07-2007, 11:18 PM
Even though I am "bone-tired" I felt I needed to post my unique experience with Adderall, prescribed for the same exact reasons, fatigue and brain fog. Diagnosed 15 years ago with Fibro, it overtook me 3 years ago, taking a healthy active creative person down to wishing I would just die. Never suicidal because there is always hope, but just plain miserable. I sought help from my pcp for 2 years trying every antidepressant the drug companies are pushing right now and none worked. He finally gave up on me and referred me to a psychiatrist. On my first visit I told him all I want is some energy to get me back on my feet and I will work myself back to where I want to be. He started me on Adderall regular the same as your doc. I went back for a followup and told him I might as well be eating candy. He upped me to 40 mg. a day too, and when I went to see him 15 days later I was totally amazed at what I had discovered. I had been "waiting" for all this energy to hit me so I could speed through my dirty house and finally see some results from taking a pill. It Never Happened. What did happen was a wonderful lifting of the depression, ceased the crying spells immediately and allowed my brain to say..."you've got to help yourself". I forced myself to start walking again on my treadmill and after a week you would have thought I had conquered the world. Now, with my doctor's okay, I space out the time between pills and the amount. I can't take a "holiday" as the depression comes bouncing back the next day, and if I have to live on Adderall for the rest of my life hey it's better than having no life at all. Geez I'm 56, I have to do what I have to do. I did discover that taking 20 mg. in the morning is better for me (I thought mornings were naturally my best time of the day) and then 5, 10, or 20 mg. by 2:00. This is the dose I change around. I did try provigil...I felt like a zombie stuck in mud too on that. I couldn't even lay down and rest, forget napping. My rheumy recently added Klonopin to help me sleep at night even though I told him I had been taking Xanax .5 mg. for 6years for that reason. OMG if Elvis felt like I did he is in a better place. Uppers (adderall) and downers (klonopin) only work for drug addicts or people taking it for reasons other than medical. I dropped the klonopin like a hot potatoe and 2 days later I was back to my normal self. After that experience I am satisfied with Xanax' 5 hours of sleep because when I get up in the morning it's out of my system. It's not fighting the Adderall. I have also, which no pill will do, started to accept my limitations as my new way of life and it's ok. Fibro brings on the worse kind of depression because it's not a chemical imbalance that a pill will improve, it's reality. Fibro will not leave you day or night, there is no pill that helps me with the pain and soreness and I struggle to sleep. I sure hope for the younger patients (like you) they find "something, anything"...to alleviate the fatigue first and I really think the other problems associated with fibro would improve naturally just from that. The medical field just doesn't get it because they can't prove on paper what is causing it. I had the trauma to the head theory, being involved in an accident when I was young, head cracking the windshield. Who knows? Who cares...just find us some relief. Didn't mean to go on and on, it's just my heart breaks when I read posts from young women starting on the same road that I've been down. I wish my mother were alive so I could tell her...mama you were right about experience being the best teacher. Now I tell my children that and I see that "same look" I had. Oh well. Take care and please don't hesitate to ask any questions I didn't answer in this loooong post. And please don't give up, just try to start accepting now the changes that Fibro demands (until they find a cure?), because when you add menopause on top of Fibro....you need to be ready for anything.
Jenn4508
09-09-2007, 10:17 AM
magnolialady - what a wonderful post. A lot of insight went into this. Before I get started let me apologize as I know I will ramble as it is rainy here and the fibro fog is on a "high alert" level along with the pain. I know you talked about menopause and what that may bring along however, I had to have a hysterectomy (sp) at the age of 29, I am now 44. I am trying so hard to understand that my old life is gone and I now have a new life. I was also diagnosed with BP 1 after being treated with depression and generalized axiety disorder for over 25 years. I also had several TIA strokes in June of 2006. So being a Personality type a and now having to change my life style totally has been hard. I work really hard with my shrink, therapist, GP and pain management doc every month. Take my mix of cocktails as prescribed but do not see alot of changes. The pain management doc even started me on TPI. I have only had those done the last three months and have not given up but do not see much relief from those. Last month he missed a trigger point, which I know is a risk we take, but boy was that horrible.
I filed for SSD but have been denied in the first two stages. So am waiting for a date for a hearing with the judge. Hopefully and I pray to God that I will be able to win at that level. I really don't know how SS can even think someone would hire me with the cocktail of meds I take. Technically, I could probably be arrested if pulled while driving on the mix I have to take during the day. I try to stay upbeat. The financial burden though really is starting to make me feel worthless and a burden to my family. I have always worked and always been very independent. My husband and I have only been married for less than 2 years and he totally refuses to let me go back to work, I feel like sometimes I should just go and do it. I know I would never last, but I feel so trapped in this house day after day even though I hurt so bad.
Sorry for the rambling and being so down. I am just having a bad couple of weeks and needed to vent.
God Bless to all who had the patience to listen :angel:
I filed for SSD but have been denied in the first two stages. So am waiting for a date for a hearing with the judge. Hopefully and I pray to God that I will be able to win at that level. I really don't know how SS can even think someone would hire me with the cocktail of meds I take. Technically, I could probably be arrested if pulled while driving on the mix I have to take during the day. I try to stay upbeat. The financial burden though really is starting to make me feel worthless and a burden to my family. I have always worked and always been very independent. My husband and I have only been married for less than 2 years and he totally refuses to let me go back to work, I feel like sometimes I should just go and do it. I know I would never last, but I feel so trapped in this house day after day even though I hurt so bad.
Sorry for the rambling and being so down. I am just having a bad couple of weeks and needed to vent.
God Bless to all who had the patience to listen :angel:
photoangel71
12-31-2007, 04:08 PM
Jenn4508, don't give up, I am 36 years old and I received my disability FINALLY, last March 2007. I really believe they have it set up, where they make you wait 2 yrs, to try and break you down and starve you out. I lived off of 350dollars a month while I waited for mine. I became disabled in 2002 for my back, but they also added major depression and Adult ADD and other things after all my medical records, were received. I was turned down after the first 5 or 6 months of filing, but I waited until 2005 to file hoping that my two back surguries would work, ended up going to pain clinic which at first I thought was a God send, only to discover you build up a tolorance after a few years on that, so nothing was helping. In the meantime my husband abandoned me and my son, and I no longer had insurance so no meds. I had a hysterectomy when I was 27, but because I had fybrocystic disease (or whatever they called it) in my breast I could not take hormones. I began to feel as if I could take no more, I struggled to get my son to school (he had been thru too much with his father abandoning us, this being his adopted father, his biological father gave his rights up years before, so I didn't want to change his school). They don't have "housing based on income" in the area he goes to school, because it is so small. I lived with depression and anxiety disorder, and adult ADD along with severe pain,facet arthrius, degenerative disk disease, myofasical disorder, and had no meds and no insurance. After I went to court, I received my medical records from the lawyers. I was shocked to discover that even the doctors that disability had made me go to had also claimed they believed I was unable to work in my condition, Yet I had still been denied. I used every available resource to get me by and my bills paid, and had to just wait. Finally after I go before the judge, (and them loosing my paper work, me calling the lawyer to find out what was taking so long with an answer, I discovered I could call social security and get the judges secretary, and then thats when they discovered they had "misplaced" my papers, in other words, forgot me, but within two weeks I have my answer that I was found disabled. I still don't understand why I had to have the lawyer, he did nothing in court I answered all the questions, he did nothing when I had not received my answer in a timely manner (over a month), but I do know that others have been trying for years and they never get theirs until they hirer a lawyer, who does nothing but get your records and fill out paperwork you could do yourself, and then get a huge chunk of your backpay. I was to the point that I wanted to just kill myself, but I had to be strong for my son. Keep at them, keep calling, keep fighting, don't give up, thats what they want, and in your condition you are disabled and if you ever worked in your life that is YOUR money YOU paid in, for this very reason! Fight for it!
Jenn4508
12-31-2007, 05:26 PM
photoangel71 - Thank you for your kind post.... I know that SS wants you to give up but I will not. I think it is sad that I have worked my whole life and many hours a day when I did work and then am no longer able to and I have to wait around until SS has time to schedule me in to see the Judge due to a hiring freeze.
I feel like I am stuck in a marriage of two years and I feel there is no way out at this point. I stay due to the insurance and await my day in court. He comes home everynight from work and drinks until he passes out. I left my first husband for this same reason and he knows it. Does this man not think I have enough stress in my life. I am sorry to vent, just not real happy right now and I have no one to really talk to that understands other than these boards.
I will keep fighting for the SS and hopefully then my husband will understand if and when I get it that its give up the drinking or I have a way out.
Thanks to all who listened to the rambling, the fibro fog is playing games today and hard to stay on track. Happy New Years to all. Jenn
I feel like I am stuck in a marriage of two years and I feel there is no way out at this point. I stay due to the insurance and await my day in court. He comes home everynight from work and drinks until he passes out. I left my first husband for this same reason and he knows it. Does this man not think I have enough stress in my life. I am sorry to vent, just not real happy right now and I have no one to really talk to that understands other than these boards.
I will keep fighting for the SS and hopefully then my husband will understand if and when I get it that its give up the drinking or I have a way out.
Thanks to all who listened to the rambling, the fibro fog is playing games today and hard to stay on track. Happy New Years to all. Jenn
Jenn4508
12-31-2007, 05:37 PM
Even though I am "bone-tired" I felt I needed to post my unique experience with Adderall, prescribed for the same exact reasons, fatigue and brain fog. Diagnosed 15 years ago with Fibro, it overtook me 3 years ago, taking a healthy active creative person down to wishing I would just die. Never suicidal because there is always hope, but just plain miserable. I sought help from my pcp for 2 years trying every antidepressant the drug companies are pushing right now and none worked. He finally gave up on me and referred me to a psychiatrist. On my first visit I told him all I want is some energy to get me back on my feet and I will work myself back to where I want to be. He started me on Adderall regular the same as your doc. I went back for a followup and told him I might as well be eating candy. He upped me to 40 mg. a day too, and when I went to see him 15 days later I was totally amazed at what I had discovered. I had been "waiting" for all this energy to hit me so I could speed through my dirty house and finally see some results from taking a pill. It Never Happened. What did happen was a wonderful lifting of the depression, ceased the crying spells immediately and allowed my brain to say..."you've got to help yourself". I forced myself to start walking again on my treadmill and after a week you would have thought I had conquered the world. Now, with my doctor's okay, I space out the time between pills and the amount. I can't take a "holiday" as the depression comes bouncing back the next day, and if I have to live on Adderall for the rest of my life hey it's better than having no life at all. Geez I'm 56, I have to do what I have to do. I did discover that taking 20 mg. in the morning is better for me (I thought mornings were naturally my best time of the day) and then 5, 10, or 20 mg. by 2:00. This is the dose I change around. I did try provigil...I felt like a zombie stuck in mud too on that. I couldn't even lay down and rest, forget napping. My rheumy recently added Klonopin to help me sleep at night even though I told him I had been taking Xanax .5 mg. for 6years for that reason. OMG if Elvis felt like I did he is in a better place. Uppers (adderall) and downers (klonopin) only work for drug addicts or people taking it for reasons other than medical. I dropped the klonopin like a hot potatoe and 2 days later I was back to my normal self. After that experience I am satisfied with Xanax' 5 hours of sleep because when I get up in the morning it's out of my system. It's not fighting the Adderall. I have also, which no pill will do, started to accept my limitations as my new way of life and it's ok. Fibro brings on the worse kind of depression because it's not a chemical imbalance that a pill will improve, it's reality. Fibro will not leave you day or night, there is no pill that helps me with the pain and soreness and I struggle to sleep. I sure hope for the younger patients (like you) they find "something, anything"...to alleviate the fatigue first and I really think the other problems associated with fibro would improve naturally just from that. The medical field just doesn't get it because they can't prove on paper what is causing it. I had the trauma to the head theory, being involved in an accident when I was young, head cracking the windshield. Who knows? Who cares...just find us some relief. Didn't mean to go on and on, it's just my heart breaks when I read posts from young women starting on the same road that I've been down. I wish my mother were alive so I could tell her...mama you were right about experience being the best teacher. Now I tell my children that and I see that "same look" I had. Oh well. Take care and please don't hesitate to ask any questions I didn't answer in this loooong post. And please don't give up, just try to start accepting now the changes that Fibro demands (until they find a cure?), because when you add menopause on top of Fibro....you need to be ready for anything.
You are very wise. I have accepted the hand I have been dealt however it doesn't mean I have to like it. I guess what really bothers me the most are all the drugs I am on and it seems that none really help what they are supposed to help. I keep trying though and hopefully one day, just maybe, they will get it right. Thank you for your kind words. Jenn
You are very wise. I have accepted the hand I have been dealt however it doesn't mean I have to like it. I guess what really bothers me the most are all the drugs I am on and it seems that none really help what they are supposed to help. I keep trying though and hopefully one day, just maybe, they will get it right. Thank you for your kind words. Jenn
deepsouth
01-08-2008, 02:48 PM
Dear everyone,
I'm editing this because I think I addressed the wrong person. I thought it was Magnolia Lady that spoke about Adderall helping her depression, but now I think it was Desperate 1. I am so sorry for the confusion (it is one symptom of the RSD). I am new to the ADD board and have been trying to catch up by reading all the old posts. It is teaching me things that I definitely need to know. My 1st post explained part of my problem with Adult ADD/HD and trying to get on the right medicine at the correct dosage. Doc had me on Ritalin a couple of months starting at 5 mg. twice a day and going up to 10 mg. twice a day. Worked great slowing me down and allowing me to organize my thoughts. What's happening now is that my thoughts are starting to race again. I will have 4 or 5 projects going at one time and never finish anything. I'll go to another room to get something and then start working on something else and forget what I came to that room to get. It's been this way all my life, and I thought that is the way everyone does things. LOL! I have a few health issues with emphysema, RSD, and depression. You said you were prescribed Adderall to help with your fatigue, but you found that it lifted your depression. I've been on all sorts of antidepressants trying to find the one that would work for me. There is concern since my mother and her sister committed suicide. The pain that I have on a daily basis has sometimes made me feel suicidal. Constant pain just wears you down, and I know you (with your Fibro) and many other chronic pain sufferers know what I mean. When you talked about how well Adderall worked for your depression, it encouraged me to share your post with my doctor. So, he prescribed 20 mg Adderall twice a day. The first pill I took made me extremely sick to my stomach. I knew that could happen but also knew that some side effects subside after they are used a few days. The next day I took a half and waited over an hour to take the second half. But when I took the second one, I was sick as a dog again. Nausea was the worst side effect and the other was feeling shaky and unsteady. I apologize that this is getting long. Well, I tried it one more day, and it made me as sick as the first day. I am going to try to get my doctor on the phone (busy, busy doc) to tell him this. The only thing that makes sense to me is to resume taking the Ritalin. There were no bad effects with Ritalin. Perhaps the doc will raise the dosage on that or switch to something else. I'm willing to do anything in this world to keep the depression at bay and keep my thoughts from racing too much. If I am going at this thing all wrong, please let me know what the right thing is. Thank you so much for your posts and your help. God bless everyone on this board for extending a helping hand to a fellow sufferers.
Sansy
I'm editing this because I think I addressed the wrong person. I thought it was Magnolia Lady that spoke about Adderall helping her depression, but now I think it was Desperate 1. I am so sorry for the confusion (it is one symptom of the RSD). I am new to the ADD board and have been trying to catch up by reading all the old posts. It is teaching me things that I definitely need to know. My 1st post explained part of my problem with Adult ADD/HD and trying to get on the right medicine at the correct dosage. Doc had me on Ritalin a couple of months starting at 5 mg. twice a day and going up to 10 mg. twice a day. Worked great slowing me down and allowing me to organize my thoughts. What's happening now is that my thoughts are starting to race again. I will have 4 or 5 projects going at one time and never finish anything. I'll go to another room to get something and then start working on something else and forget what I came to that room to get. It's been this way all my life, and I thought that is the way everyone does things. LOL! I have a few health issues with emphysema, RSD, and depression. You said you were prescribed Adderall to help with your fatigue, but you found that it lifted your depression. I've been on all sorts of antidepressants trying to find the one that would work for me. There is concern since my mother and her sister committed suicide. The pain that I have on a daily basis has sometimes made me feel suicidal. Constant pain just wears you down, and I know you (with your Fibro) and many other chronic pain sufferers know what I mean. When you talked about how well Adderall worked for your depression, it encouraged me to share your post with my doctor. So, he prescribed 20 mg Adderall twice a day. The first pill I took made me extremely sick to my stomach. I knew that could happen but also knew that some side effects subside after they are used a few days. The next day I took a half and waited over an hour to take the second half. But when I took the second one, I was sick as a dog again. Nausea was the worst side effect and the other was feeling shaky and unsteady. I apologize that this is getting long. Well, I tried it one more day, and it made me as sick as the first day. I am going to try to get my doctor on the phone (busy, busy doc) to tell him this. The only thing that makes sense to me is to resume taking the Ritalin. There were no bad effects with Ritalin. Perhaps the doc will raise the dosage on that or switch to something else. I'm willing to do anything in this world to keep the depression at bay and keep my thoughts from racing too much. If I am going at this thing all wrong, please let me know what the right thing is. Thank you so much for your posts and your help. God bless everyone on this board for extending a helping hand to a fellow sufferers.
Sansy
Jenn4508
01-10-2008, 02:34 PM
Dear everyone,
I'm editing this because I think I addressed the wrong person. I thought it was Magnolia Lady that spoke about Adderall helping her depression, but now I think it was Desperate 1. I am so sorry for the confusion (it is one symptom of the RSD). I am new to the ADD board and have been trying to catch up by reading all the old posts. It is teaching me things that I definitely need to know. My 1st post explained part of my problem with Adult ADD/HD and trying to get on the right medicine at the correct dosage. Doc had me on Ritalin a couple of months starting at 5 mg. twice a day and going up to 10 mg. twice a day. Worked great slowing me down and allowing me to organize my thoughts. What's happening now is that my thoughts are starting to race again. I will have 4 or 5 projects going at one time and never finish anything. I'll go to another room to get something and then start working on something else and forget what I came to that room to get. It's been this way all my life, and I thought that is the way everyone does things. LOL! I have a few health issues with emphysema, RSD, and depression. You said you were prescribed Adderall to help with your fatigue, but you found that it lifted your depression. I've been on all sorts of antidepressants trying to find the one that would work for me. There is concern since my mother and her sister committed suicide. The pain that I have on a daily basis has sometimes made me feel suicidal. Constant pain just wears you down, and I know you (with your Fibro) and many other chronic pain sufferers know what I mean. When you talked about how well Adderall worked for your depression, it encouraged me to share your post with my doctor. So, he prescribed 20 mg Adderall twice a day. The first pill I took made me extremely sick to my stomach. I knew that could happen but also knew that some side effects subside after they are used a few days. The next day I took a half and waited over an hour to take the second half. But when I took the second one, I was sick as a dog again. Nausea was the worst side effect and the other was feeling shaky and unsteady. I apologize that this is getting long. Well, I tried it one more day, and it made me as sick as the first day. I am going to try to get my doctor on the phone (busy, busy doc) to tell him this. The only thing that makes sense to me is to resume taking the Ritalin. There were no bad effects with Ritalin. Perhaps the doc will raise the dosage on that or switch to something else. I'm willing to do anything in this world to keep the depression at bay and keep my thoughts from racing too much. If I am going at this thing all wrong, please let me know what the right thing is. Thank you so much for your posts and your help. God bless everyone on this board for extending a helping hand to a fellow sufferers.
Sansy
DeepSouth - God Bless you and you have come to the right place. I suffer with BiPolar 1, still not under control, fibro, chronic myofascial pain, hypermobility and some scoliosis.
I was prescribed Ritalin LA for energy due to the BiPolar and fibro... I take 20 mg twice a day... Even though it is long acting and is supposed to last for 8 hours, my psychiatrist has me take it at 8am and again at noon. If you take it to late in the afternoon, it will interfere with your sleep. My BiPolar is still not under control and have tried everything under the sun. However, for probably close to 20 years my psychologist had me diagnosed with severe depression and generalized anxiety disorder which was the wrong diagnoses and I did not find out until August of 2006. I had a major meltdown and went to the mental hospital. That is when I was diagnosed with BP 1. According to what I was told by my new psychiatrist and from what I have read that about BP, that because I was misdiagnosed for all those years, it takes a much longer time to find the right combo of meds to get the BP under control.
I think you know also with the different diseases being mixed, it doesn't help. Also, you have to deal with the issues of your Mother and Sister. Please keep your head up and never give up the fight. We all have our demons to fight and I can't say I know how you feel because I don't. I can say that I have much empathy for you and truly care that you continue to seek help and also continue to come here. Don't worry about getting confused as that is the fibro fog and everyone will understand that.
Hang in there, and remember you can always come here whenever you need to. I am sending my angels to watch over you. Jenn :angel::angel::angel:
I'm editing this because I think I addressed the wrong person. I thought it was Magnolia Lady that spoke about Adderall helping her depression, but now I think it was Desperate 1. I am so sorry for the confusion (it is one symptom of the RSD). I am new to the ADD board and have been trying to catch up by reading all the old posts. It is teaching me things that I definitely need to know. My 1st post explained part of my problem with Adult ADD/HD and trying to get on the right medicine at the correct dosage. Doc had me on Ritalin a couple of months starting at 5 mg. twice a day and going up to 10 mg. twice a day. Worked great slowing me down and allowing me to organize my thoughts. What's happening now is that my thoughts are starting to race again. I will have 4 or 5 projects going at one time and never finish anything. I'll go to another room to get something and then start working on something else and forget what I came to that room to get. It's been this way all my life, and I thought that is the way everyone does things. LOL! I have a few health issues with emphysema, RSD, and depression. You said you were prescribed Adderall to help with your fatigue, but you found that it lifted your depression. I've been on all sorts of antidepressants trying to find the one that would work for me. There is concern since my mother and her sister committed suicide. The pain that I have on a daily basis has sometimes made me feel suicidal. Constant pain just wears you down, and I know you (with your Fibro) and many other chronic pain sufferers know what I mean. When you talked about how well Adderall worked for your depression, it encouraged me to share your post with my doctor. So, he prescribed 20 mg Adderall twice a day. The first pill I took made me extremely sick to my stomach. I knew that could happen but also knew that some side effects subside after they are used a few days. The next day I took a half and waited over an hour to take the second half. But when I took the second one, I was sick as a dog again. Nausea was the worst side effect and the other was feeling shaky and unsteady. I apologize that this is getting long. Well, I tried it one more day, and it made me as sick as the first day. I am going to try to get my doctor on the phone (busy, busy doc) to tell him this. The only thing that makes sense to me is to resume taking the Ritalin. There were no bad effects with Ritalin. Perhaps the doc will raise the dosage on that or switch to something else. I'm willing to do anything in this world to keep the depression at bay and keep my thoughts from racing too much. If I am going at this thing all wrong, please let me know what the right thing is. Thank you so much for your posts and your help. God bless everyone on this board for extending a helping hand to a fellow sufferers.
Sansy
DeepSouth - God Bless you and you have come to the right place. I suffer with BiPolar 1, still not under control, fibro, chronic myofascial pain, hypermobility and some scoliosis.
I was prescribed Ritalin LA for energy due to the BiPolar and fibro... I take 20 mg twice a day... Even though it is long acting and is supposed to last for 8 hours, my psychiatrist has me take it at 8am and again at noon. If you take it to late in the afternoon, it will interfere with your sleep. My BiPolar is still not under control and have tried everything under the sun. However, for probably close to 20 years my psychologist had me diagnosed with severe depression and generalized anxiety disorder which was the wrong diagnoses and I did not find out until August of 2006. I had a major meltdown and went to the mental hospital. That is when I was diagnosed with BP 1. According to what I was told by my new psychiatrist and from what I have read that about BP, that because I was misdiagnosed for all those years, it takes a much longer time to find the right combo of meds to get the BP under control.
I think you know also with the different diseases being mixed, it doesn't help. Also, you have to deal with the issues of your Mother and Sister. Please keep your head up and never give up the fight. We all have our demons to fight and I can't say I know how you feel because I don't. I can say that I have much empathy for you and truly care that you continue to seek help and also continue to come here. Don't worry about getting confused as that is the fibro fog and everyone will understand that.
Hang in there, and remember you can always come here whenever you need to. I am sending my angels to watch over you. Jenn :angel::angel::angel: