As a kid I always had anger problems but never to bad, just yelling and throwing things, never physical violence. But now at 18, lately instead of screaming and cursing i've turned to hurting myself because it seems to help me calm down. I don't enjoy blood but I go into these 'rages' I guess and I just hurt myself in anyway possible. I just get so angry that my head gets blurry and I can't control myself.

I've beaten my fists against the wall till they've bled or broken, or I just slice my arm with whatevers close. And then after i've calmed down I regret hurting myself and I feel embarassed for my actions. I've never hurt myself too bad because my boyfriend usually holds me back from doing too much damage, and if I can't get to other objects I usually bite my fist until it bleeds. I'm not sure why i'm like this..I had a wonderful childhood with the best parents anyone could ask for, and i've never really had emotional problems. Is there any reason as to why I would be like this? Any help would be appreciated, I don't want to end up hurting someone.

Hello there,


I think the reason why you are like that is because you need someone to talk too and someone who would understand you. I used to have so much anger; when I was young, soon as I turn 16 years old, i still do but "I can control myself now." I used to be depress all the time, but I never did hurt myself or slice my self. It looks like you don't love yourself and you hate the way you are and you want to change but you can't stop yourself from doing it.

I think what you need to do is talk to someone you love in your family and talk to them about it or someone who you can trust, so you can let it all out. It seems like you been hiding yourself over and over. You can also go to therapy, or a group that have the same situation you have. I am sure something happened to you and you don't remember why you turn this way.

However, I hope this helps you!! Don't let yourself go, think about your family and how they would feel if you were to die one day.

Sincerely,
KW

I agree with Jakawhite but I also think you should tell your doctor about this - the doctor may have some good suggestions, maybe refer you to someone to talk to and also can check out if anything physical is causing some of this. Jakawhite is right - you have to get some help with this.

But i'm not really depressed or emotional and I have no intent whatsoever in killing myself. Its just whenever I get raged, I change. What should I tell my doctor?

Tell him about your rages or show him what you wrote. Explain to him just the way you explained to us. That will help him understand how you are feeling so he can figure out how to help you. There may be something physical going on that is causing the anger and the rages. (and it will be a relief just to tell him). Please keep in touch.