In the past 3 days - as they say, everything comes in 3's

Friday I got summons to appear in Court because my credit card company is suing me for $5,000.00 - 2 separate cases at $ 2,500.00.

Saturday my Internet company comes by my house for payment because I bounce a check - so i had to pay cash

Today Sunday my landlady calls saying I bounce last months rent check of July - now I owe her July and August. Because that check bounce her checks bounce since relied on my rent check to pay her bills - granted she is pissed. If I dont get caught up with her I will get kicked out of my place that I have been at for 9 years. My rent is fairly cheap for the size and area I'm living in, and I dont want to mess it up. But I dont want to jeopardized my other bills - yet I'm behind on those as well.

I'm self supportive, live by myself. I'm surprise I haven't lost it!! :confused:

I dont know how I got myself into this damn mess!!

I'm always behind in my bills. I know I need to get another job to get caught up, but I wish I can get one that would pay enough a week that is worth it...

Is this "normal" behavior for BP'ers???

I have tried to write a reply three times and deleted it all times. I do not want to over step any boundaries by saying what I think. As for it being common with bp to over spend I would say yes.

The problem with BP's is that on the manic side they tend to go on shopping sprees and from the credit cards I guess maybe that is what happened? I am not judging as I do not have credit cards I just spend what is in the bank. I don't mean to and I am not even able to work anymore and am fighting with SSD right now. Have you talked to your Pdoc about this? If this is going on and you are on meds then evidently they are not working which is what I keep telling mine. I hope I don't offend you in any way just a thought as my doc things if I don't spend what he considers a great amount then its okay.

I haven't been able to work for over a year and it makes me even more crazy b/c I was always a workaholic.

Hang in there and Best Wishes. :angel:

I'm open to whatever you whatever you guys have to say to me - I know I got myself into stupid mess and I need to get myself out of it!!

I'm just glad I'm not going into a depressive state of mind right now. Im going to be really means and going to ask my boss for help.

If you don't mind me asking, what type of meds are you on?

Im currently taking Prozac 20mg 10mg , Topamax 300mg, Vistaril 25 mg and Klonopin 25 - to help me sleep at nite

By the way my boss just called me this evening and he is going to loan me money to get out of my jam with my landlady - and deduct it out of my paycheck until its paid. Therefore, I will have force myself to be on a strict budget.

I am glad your boss is helping you but be careful not to fall into the same pattern again. I would get rid of the credit cards and always pay bills first and if there is some left over you can use it. Maybe even put a little away for an emergency if possible. I know its hard but being in trouble is harder. Please know I am not being critical. I only want to help

I agree with Marsh. I would make a list of expenses that you have monthly and then see what your income is. If at all possible cut back on whatever you can until you are all caught up. For instance.....if you have a cable service and pay for premium service go to basic cable until you get squared away. Clip coupons and only buy things that are on sale for a while.

It is great that your boss is helping you out. Perhaps you can also work out some type of payment plan with the courts so that you can pay a little bit at a time until it is all paid off.

Good luck and keep us posted with how things are going.

~ Goody:angel: :wave:

Thanks guys!

I have been working for my boss 5 years this month. I have never ask him for a favor ever until now.

But I'm considering getting a 2nd job. I had one before in retail - probably going back to the same job again. It was easy, the latest I would work is 10pm.

It's normal behavior for me. It has been all of my adult life. I'm now living with my parents because I left my job on an impulse. I know how you feel. I'm so unstable. I also owe hospitals, doctors, antistesiologist, etc. in addition to my car payment, insurance, etc. I think they should have a separate credit rating for people with Bipolar Disorder. I guess we can help it, but it is soooo hard not to spend when we are manic. I don't have credit cards, but I spend my rent money, my car payment money, and then some. It doesn't matter how much I make. The more money I make, the more I spend. I buy $200 designer jeans, $500 shoes, $800 handbags. The list goes on and on. My parents get so mad at me. My dad just lectured me the other day about buying expensive stuff. He said if I didn't spend so much money, maybe I would have some savings to pay my bills right now and they wouldn't have to pay them. My car payment is due on the 14th and I'm freaked out. I have no job, no money. My parents can't afford to pay it. I have applied to over 40 places in the last 3 weeks. I have had 2 call backs. I think it's because my last 2 jobs have been less than a year. I wish I could just scream, "I have Bipolar Disorder, but I do my best". Anyway, I got carried away again. Good luck with your situation. I'm sure everything will be okay.

even if it is "normal', that doesn't make it right.....
why aren't you paying your bills?

Blows my mind how anyone can spend 800 on a handbag or 500 for shoes. I cannot even imagine it especially if your not paying bills. Think about it as cheating if you dont pay it back. My husband left me with 57,000 in debt and that kind of spending needs to be controlled. Not fair for someone else to pay for it.

I think that credit card companies give out credit cards like candy. Because they know people will use them and abuse them. They make money off people through high interest - then eventually our credit is ruin.

But the only thing is we need those credit cards to establish credit in order get a car, house , etc........ we can't win for losing.

But I wish there was a way us " bipolars" could surpass this part of condition of mania SPENDING!! since it hurts us and others so much

I think that credit card companies give out credit cards like candy. Because they know people will use them and abuse them. They make money off people through high interest - then eventually our credit is ruin.

But the only thing is we need those credit cards to establish credit in order get a car, house , etc........ we can't win for losing.

But I wish there was a way us " bipolars" could surpass this part of condition of mania SPENDING!! since it hurts us and others so much


a lot of people use credit to their advantage. Credit can be your best friend if you're responsible with it. It sounds like you don't want to take any responsibility for your spending spree's and you want to blame the credit card company.

ya but have you ever have the same problem? Do you have bipolar?

I couldn't control it. I was just diagnose a year ago.

Before you start pointing fingers at someone, make you have your facts about that person first!

I totally understand the over spending. When I am of stable mind I don't have credit cards or any sort of loans, I only spend what I can afford. But a few years back when I was very crazily manic, eventually hospitalized, I had some crazy ideas, that seemed, in the state I was in, reasonable. My plan was to get as many credit cards as I could, spend and spend, then go bankrupt. That was my plan, I would never do this kind of thing when I'm healthy. ( I was not diagnosed yet at that time). I raked up about $50,000 in a few weeks, I was wild. Then I sold my house, bought a bus and travelled around Australia. I went bankrupt first though. I even got tattoos on my arms, which I have now paid a fortune to get removed. I went through years of hell and ages to try to get my credit rating back (I am still renting). Just before Christmas I turned my music full ball and danced for 5 hours straight. Then my stereo was just not loud enough, so I dipped into my savings for a house to buy an expensive louder one and danced for another 5 hours straight. I gambled a bit, I don't normally do. But since I have been diagnosed and medicated, I quickly realised I was manic and went to my pdoc. That's as far as it went, as now I can pick the signs. But whenever I feel like just going to overspend on things I don't need, I now know I am getting manic. But still if I ever get manic the first thing I want to do is spend and spend......... Thanks for listening..............

Munchiexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ya but have you ever have the same problem? Do you have bipolar?

I couldn't control it. I was just diagnose a year ago.

Before you start pointing fingers at someone, make you have your facts about that person first!

no I don't have bi-polar.......my ex-husband did.
I lived with the aftermath of his trail of destruction

hey designunique,
my partner is BP and when he gets manic he goes into crazed spending. He is now in the process of paying off a £10000 debt. The best thing he did was get rid of his credit cards, that way you have to see the actual cash u're spending. I guess the spending is a symptom of mania but by not having the means to spend without using cash it makes it a lot harder to get into trouble.
Good luck with everything, think bargains and cut up your cards!!!!
faerie xxx

Unique--
My daughter is BP and very much an out of control spender. She spent a week in a psych ward recently and then before she came home had a "council" with the family (well, her sisters and me) and asked each of us for specific help. Her oldest sister has her own business and is great with money management so she asked her to help her with her cash flow problem. This has not yet happened as Sara has missed so much work she barely HAS a cash flow, but it will probably work like this: a signature loan to pay off all CC's and the shredding of said CC's. One, with the lowest interest rate might be kept (by me) for absolute emergencies (and no, pizza for 20 friends is NOT an emergency) ..then, cash is doled out on an as needed basis, with 10-15% of each paycheck going into a savings acct. She won't be able to touch the savings unless she presents a written note to the sister as to why she needs the money. I know it kind of sounds like jail or something, but she readily agreed to it---she knows how "retail therapy" gets her into such trouble. She will buy hugely expensive gifts for friends for no reason....clothes will sit in bags in her room for months with tags still on them...does that sound familiar? I know it's the illness, so does she, but it still rears it's ugly head so easily when she gets manic, or depressed, either state.
Do you have someone you really trust who can help you to do this? I gather it's a fairly common thing to have someone act as your "accountant" so to speak.
Your boss was wonderful, really---and getting a 2nd job for a bit would probably be a good idea, too, and if you apply all your 2nd earning towards your debt, it will diminish faster. Also, any clothes, etc you can sell at a consignment shop? Step down in the car dept? Sell any furniture you really don't need? (All ideas from my money wise daughter)...
I wish you all the best...no judgment here---we're living with the same problem and it's TOUGH!! I know you don't want to be this way.
(((LIZ)))

Unique--
One, with the lowest interest rate might be kept (by me) for absolute emergencies (and no, pizza for 20 friends is NOT an emergency) ..then, cash is doled out on an as needed basis, with 10-15% of each paycheck going into a savings acct. She won't be able to touch the savings unless she presents a written note to the sister as to why she needs the money. I know it kind of sounds like jail or something, but she readily agreed to it---she knows how "retail therapy" gets her into such trouble. She will buy hugely expensive gifts for friends for no reason....clothes will sit in bags in her room for months with tags still on them...does that sound familiar? I know it's the illness, so does she, but it still rears it's ugly head so easily when she gets manic, or depressed, either state.
Do you have someone you really trust who can help you to do this? I gather it's a fairly common thing to have someone act as your "accountant" so to speak.
Your boss was wonderful, really---and getting a 2nd job for a bit would probably be a good idea, too, and if you apply all your 2nd earning towards your debt, it will diminish faster. Also, any clothes, etc you can sell at a consignment shop? Step down in the car dept? Sell any furniture you really don't need? (All ideas from my money wise daughter)...
I wish you all the best...no judgment here---we're living with the same problem and it's TOUGH!! I know you don't want to be this way.
(((LIZ)))

I realize you must do this to curtail her self-destructive spending behavior, but I'm wondering how she will ever learn? Are you going to ration out money to her when she's 50 years old?

Rosequartz

It seems to me as if you are only here to judge us. If someone is ill what is wrong with helping them where it is needed, even when they are 50. These people are our loved ones and family is supposed to help one another out..........I don't think you understand that spending is part of the illness when one is manic. It is a great idea to have an action plan in place with someone so when you become well again you havn't totally wreaked havoc.

Faerie85, Liz49 and Muchie11,

Thank you for all of YOUR SUPPORT!

I dont have any credit cards. My car will be paid off next year December ( Yippee!!!!! ) I dont have a lot of fancy clothes to began with in the first place. The purses I have my sister gave me most of them - she is in the Navy. I'm very basic. I know how to be thrifty - Goodwill , flea markets. That doesn't bother me a bit.

I guess when I get depress, I spend my money entertaining myself, being around friends and going out. I'm not materialist.

I do find ways now that are free, walk on the beach, ride my bike - even cleaning around the house. Things that dont cost money to keep me entertain.

But I can agree with you guys that family is important - regardless how old you are! My dad has always told me this - I'll will always be your best friend. Because your friends wont always be there for you all of the time. He is right!

----- As for you Rosequartz - QUIT STEPPING ON EVERYONES TOES!!!!!!

Judge yourself before you judge others!!!!

Unique--
My daughter is BP and very much an out of control spender. She spent a week in a psych ward recently and then before she came home had a "council" with the family (well, her sisters and me) and asked each of us for specific help. Her oldest sister has her own business and is great with money management so she asked her to help her with her cash flow problem. This has not yet happened as Sara has missed so much work she barely HAS a cash flow, but it will probably work like this: a signature loan to pay off all CC's and the shredding of said CC's. One, with the lowest interest rate might be kept (by me) for absolute emergencies (and no, pizza for 20 friends is NOT an emergency) ..then, cash is doled out on an as needed basis, with 10-15% of each paycheck going into a savings acct. She won't be able to touch the savings unless she presents a written note to the sister as to why she needs the money. I know it kind of sounds like jail or something, but she readily agreed to it---she knows how "retail therapy" gets her into such trouble. She will buy hugely expensive gifts for friends for no reason....clothes will sit in bags in her room for months with tags still on them...does that sound familiar? I know it's the illness, so does she, but it still rears it's ugly head so easily when she gets manic, or depressed, either state.
Do you have someone you really trust who can help you to do this? I gather it's a fairly common thing to have someone act as your "accountant" so to speak.
Your boss was wonderful, really---and getting a 2nd job for a bit would probably be a good idea, too, and if you apply all your 2nd earning towards your debt, it will diminish faster. Also, any clothes, etc you can sell at a consignment shop? Step down in the car dept? Sell any furniture you really don't need? (All ideas from my money wise daughter)...
I wish you all the best...no judgment here---we're living with the same problem and it's TOUGH!! I know you don't want to be this way.
(((LIZ)))

I think this is a wonderful solution and it was great that your daughter accepted this help when she was in the state of mind to accept it. I am bipolar and I didn't run up huge debt I gave it all away to people I thought were my friends and to someone I thought loved me. At that time I had not been diagnosed with BP yet even though I had been going to the psychiatrist for years. My ex was an alcoholic that was very verbally abusive and I thought I wasn't worth the ground the dog did his business on. Once I finally kicked him out after 17 years I thought I would be the happiest person in the world. I had a great job making lots of money, a nice house almost paid for, a nice car, great friends (or so I thought), and 2 of the most amazing kids anyone could ever want.

I then met the man of my dreams :mad: and he needed money to invest in his business. Money until he got his royalty check and the story goes on and on. I furnished his house, bought him a car, wiped out my retirement and mortgaged my house to the hilt and then took out a second mortgage. But it was just a matter of time before he would have my money.... Then that great job I had making all that money..... I don't ever talk about this part but the owner of the company..... well he raped me.... so that wonderful job with all the money.... was gone.... because I could know longer stay there. The money was no longer there and I lost everything... my house, car.... never got my money back.... but I still had those 2 amazing kids.... and I still do to this day. No, I didn't run up bills with the intention of filing bankruptcy it just happened.... Yes, I was very ashamed as I had always taken care of all my bills. About 3 years ago I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a little over a year ago I had several TIA strokes and have not been able to work since and they finally diagnosed me with bipolar last August.

I would give anything in the world to be able to work again. I was a workaholic and it is very hard for me to stay home and some days I can barely get out of the bed due to the pain. The bipolar is not under control because you can tell your shrink the meds are working and they will tell you give them a couple more months. My therapist, pain management nor my GP or my shrink believe I will ever be able to go back to work so I am fighting with SSD at this time. No, I don't want the easy way out nor do I want a handout. The Bipolar is a horrible thing to live with as you never know which end of the spectrum you will wake up on.

This is not a pity party for me. I am learning to deal with my new life after the diagnoses of Fibro and Bipolar. As my therapist told me, my old life is gone and I have to learn to deal with my new life.... It is hard to do but I will march on.

Good Luck to all and hang in there.... There is a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere. God Bless the families that are there for us. :angel: