Tsohl and Goody,

Here's another update on how I'm doing...

I saw my tdoc today and we discussed the symptoms I've been having throughout the month of July as well as some confusion I've had regarding my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder bipolar type.

My tdoc looked at the same information I gave my pdoc regarding my latest symptoms and agrees that I am currently manic. He also said that based on my symptoms, my current diagnosis is bipolar I current episode manic.

I know diagnoses aren't the most important consideration when it comes to controlling symptoms, but having this information really helped me in two regards. #1. The hospital and the first pdoc they recommended I see last year after being released never explained what hypomania or mania were and left me with the impression that meds alone would make me feel better and #2. Later in the year I experienced insurance problems which meant that I couldn't get the meds I needed. When I asked this pdoc (the pdoc the hospital referred me to) whether or not I should remain on meds or not (since I was doing well for a month without them), she said it was "up to me whether or not I wanted to be on meds." After I experienced this most recent manic episode it left me feeling confused because I didn't understand what was happening to me. The only thing about it that I did understand was the euphoria I felt, but not the anger and irritability, increased energy or insomnia.

I feel *so* much better having discussed this with my tdoc. He told me that if I had any other questions regarding bipolar to ask him. He also said that if I find myself experiencing any degree of hypomania to give him a call so I can avoid the mania escalating the way it did this time.

Finally, he told me to be aware of the warning signs of mania since people with bipolar are prone to poor decision making, excessive spending sprees and an increase in promiscuous behavior during severe manic states.

Meds: As you know, my pdoc increased my Depakote. My tdoc said that since I started the increase on Saturday, I should feel a change in mood any day now. I also started taking Trazodone on Saturday and Sunday, but stopped because it made me sleep from 10 pm-5 pm on both days. My tdoc suggested that I continue taking the Trazodone for awhile longer until my body becomes used to it. Fortunately I'm out of school now, so don't have any commitments.

On a separate note, I feel so lucky to have the clinic I do...my pdoc, tdoc and the staff are all wonderful. Just today while sitting in the waiting room one of the receptionists noticed how I was responding to the noise level and allowed me to sit in a quiet room.

To think that the past year of my life was filled with so much confusion and today everything has become clear.

Don't get me wrong...I don't like the fact that I've been diagnosed with bipolar, but it does help me understand alot of what has happened over the past year as well as my most recent behavior changes.

Before I close, I wanted to answer both of your questions that you asked me in another thread.

Tsohl, you asked me when my last episode of mania occured...it took place in February of last year, so I don't think it's seasonal.

However, I have noticed that I do have alot more energy during the spring and summer months...that's something I'll have to discuss further with my pdoc. You also mentioned the possibility of adding Lemictal as another mood stabilizer if the Depakote doesn't work. That's something I'm going to keep in mind. I'm going to give the Depakote another week to work and if I don't notice any changes, I'll let my pdoc know.

Goody, I also like your idea of increasing a mood stabilizer when needed. I'll also talk to my pdoc about that as well.

Thank you both for all of your help...I really appreciate it! :D

I hope this post didn't sound like I was rambling too much. :) I've got some racing thoughts going on right now and am trying to get my point across as clearly as I can. Thanks again! :)

:angel: :angel: :angel:

neon_dreamer

Hi Neon.....I was glad to read your post. Why???? Because there is nothing I admire more than a BPer who wants to take the bull by the horns and do everything they can do to learn how to manage it and get themselves to stability as quickly as possible.:bouncing:

Sorry it took so long to respond to this wonderful update....I just returned from bringing my daughter to her pdoc appointment after a dentist appointment as well as to her regular MD for a vaccination.:dizzy:

I am amazed and how far you have come in terms of self-awareness as well as the energy and efforts you are putting into working with your pdoc & tdoc as a team player to win the race of acheiving stability and at the same time being open to learning how to identify triggers, symptoms and ways of controlling them whether it be by learning new coping skills as well as the way in which the meds work.

I am in awe that you have been able to accomplish all that you have while in a manic state. Just goes to show how much you want to get your life on track and not allow the BP to win!!;)

Your tdoc sounds so wonderful in accommodating you in terms of helping you learn more about BP as well as making your feel comfortable enough to call him/her when more manic so that you can get it in control before it disrupts your life too much. I also think that he/she was right on about giving the Trazodone a fighting chance because like he/she said....it takes the body a few weeks to adjust to a med and many times if you hang in there the med happens to work like a charm. And I couldn't agree more of this being the perfect time to see if it does what you need it to do. Sleep is sooo important when you are manic.....if you can get your sleep then it makes everything so much easier.

Glad that you are increasing the Depakote....that should hopefully take care of the irritability and racing thoughts that you are experiencing.

Thank you so much for sharing your update....and Neon, it isn't the meds, or the pdoc or tdoc that have brought you this far. It is YOU and your ability to embrace your diagnosis and wanting to do everything in your power to rise above it and doing all that you need to do to find the stability that you need in your life.

Lots of ((((((HUGS))))))) for all that you have done to take gigantic steps forward to getting yourself the help that you need.

Love ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

Hi Neon_Dreamer,

I apologize for not seeing your post sooner. I made an unexpected, flying trip up to the Twin Cities, got home yesterday but didn't read through all the new posts very carefully.

Goody did a great job of saying a lot of what I have been thinking. I've mentioned before how self-aware you seem to be about your illness. I know what you mean about not wanting to be BP, but it is a relief, I would think, to know rather than just wondering what on earth is going on and why you feel so out of control. Now you can get a treatment plan and find the meds that work well for you with the fewest side effects...and then you'll be on your way to managing your "dis-ease."

By the way, lamictal is a mood stabilizer -- so Goody and I were talking about the same thing -- adding a second mood stablizer to go along with the depakote.

Thanks so much for posting about your appointment and the change in your diagnosis. The first pdoc probably thought you had schizoaffective disorder due to you reporting a hallucination, but this is not uncommon in BP I either. My son had a very similar situation.

Well I'm off to bed. :yawn: I'm having difficulties with my back and am taking pain meds .

Keep up the good work!!

:wave: Tsohl