mycutepup
08-07-2007, 10:15 PM
I'm a newbie here and I hope some one will tell me if they have ever experienced what I'm going thru.
I'm a hard working person, out going with no addiction problem. Years ago when I was in college while sitting in my literature class I felt like slapping my professor's face even though I liked the professor and did not have any anger whatsoever. I also have felt like spitting on a different professor's face, again I liked the professor. That was years ago, when I told my cousin of my disturbed feelings, she said I was bored of the classes.
A week ago I had lunch with my very good friend that I adore very much. We were having a very interesting conversation when I suddenly felt like slapping her face, and I was so afraid that I would lose control of my hand that I would just let it fly across the table. Today I wanted to scream out loud, but I don't know about what. I body aches and I feel that my eyesight is somewhat blurry. Last night I felt the pain on my upper back something like gastric pain. I also have pain in my chest.
I feel so ashamed for wanting to slap my friend. Please help and tell me if you have ever had this kind of experince. I don't want to see a shrink as I don't like taking meds.
Is this a sign of depression or am I just insane?
I'm a hard working person, out going with no addiction problem. Years ago when I was in college while sitting in my literature class I felt like slapping my professor's face even though I liked the professor and did not have any anger whatsoever. I also have felt like spitting on a different professor's face, again I liked the professor. That was years ago, when I told my cousin of my disturbed feelings, she said I was bored of the classes.
A week ago I had lunch with my very good friend that I adore very much. We were having a very interesting conversation when I suddenly felt like slapping her face, and I was so afraid that I would lose control of my hand that I would just let it fly across the table. Today I wanted to scream out loud, but I don't know about what. I body aches and I feel that my eyesight is somewhat blurry. Last night I felt the pain on my upper back something like gastric pain. I also have pain in my chest.
I feel so ashamed for wanting to slap my friend. Please help and tell me if you have ever had this kind of experince. I don't want to see a shrink as I don't like taking meds.
Is this a sign of depression or am I just insane?
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Sannah
08-08-2007, 11:19 AM
Hi Pup, do you think you are angry most of the time?
jendg28
08-08-2007, 02:46 PM
I have felt like I wanted to slap my boss before(former boss). This is different because he was abusive toward his children and I felt anger towards him. Do you see a therapist? I wouldn't think that was a symptom of depression, but I could be wrong. How long has this been going on? Has something else happened to make you feel angry and are you just directing it to others? This could be a possibility. I would see a therapist if it continues to bother you.
mycutepup
08-08-2007, 08:18 PM
Thanks for replying to my post. I have selfdiagnosed last night after I searched the web. My problem is called obsessive compulsive disorder, it's not depression but it can be worsen by stress. No, I'm a very happy person, out going, love to socialise and very loving. No, I'm not an angry person and there's really not much to get mad at in my life. To be more specific my problem is call ocd with intrusive thoughts. I don't have it all the time only sometime but it is definitely time consuming and not fun to carry that kind of a thought in your head and fearing you might lose control. It's very similar to post partum depression where new moms are not depressed but just disturbing thought and wanting to hurt the child. I'm so relieved to know that I am not the only one who goes thru this also that I'm not crazy especially when I'm aware its not permamnent. I have felt like this sometimes when I was 12 year old I'm now in my 30s. I want to see a counsellor but it will take time to find a good match.
Thanks so much.
Thanks so much.
Sannah
08-09-2007, 11:54 AM
Pup, good work. Taking your mental health into your own hands is an excellent first step. OCD is an anxiety disorder. Do you consider yourself anxious?
mycutepup
08-09-2007, 06:21 PM
HI sanna,
I can say I'm anxious also impatient at times. Would this one of the causes of intrusive thoughts?
I can say I'm anxious also impatient at times. Would this one of the causes of intrusive thoughts?
Sannah
08-10-2007, 11:44 AM
Pup, I was anxious and I used to have what I call "recirculating" thoughts. I would get a thought in my mind and it would go around and around. After I worked on my anxiety I don't do this anymore and my mind is now calm. IMO I believe that the mind is trying to calm itself by doing this. When you are anxious you just cannot calm yourself or quiet your mind so your mind needs something to do IMO! The intrusive thoughts might be different, I didn't have those, but I know that OCD is an anxiety disorder. I think that you start with the anxiety and then it can develop into OCD. IMO, the OCD is an attempt to make you feel safe.
veryconfused22
08-11-2007, 04:33 AM
I think ive done something similar. I was working on the roof of a hospital and thought I was gonna fall off the roof, even though I was no-where near the edge. After that I couldnt stop thinking of jumping off, I dont know why wasnt suicidal or anything. I had to go inside because I was afraid I was just gonna jump for no reason. This sound similar?
mycutepup
08-12-2007, 12:27 PM
I know what you mean by recurring thoughts. I have those so many times. When I play music that I like at home, those music keep ringing in my ears even when I'm at work and I just want to sing them all the tinme, it's so annoying and embarressing when you happen to really sing them out. But the scariest times are with I have those thought of slapping others or squezee a knife in my palm untill it cut my skin and I bleed. Why do I have those thoughts when I never want to hurt myself or others. I once shared these thougts with my husband and felt relieved. When I have those thought I always turn my mind to the other side of myself that makes sense and say to myself' this is not my thought, its exernal and temporary' its really temporary it does not last long at all unless I'm under a great deal of stess. Its been a few days that I notice the absence of any unpleasant thougts and I wonder where they hide. I think of those thoughts and can't believe that they can just come and go whenever they feel like. They are defintely unwated and unwelcome I just want to kick them out of my mind, they don't belong inside my head.
Sannah
08-13-2007, 11:53 AM
I once shared these thougts with my husband and felt relieved. When I have those thought I always turn my mind to the other side of myself that makes sense and say to myself' this is not my thought, its exernal and temporary' its really temporary it does not last long at all unless I'm under a great deal of stess.
Its been a few days that I notice the absence of any unpleasant thougts and I wonder where they hide.
Maybe talking about this here is why you haven't had them in a few days? Talking about it seems to help? Yeah, music was the worst stuff that I couldn't get out of my head!
Its been a few days that I notice the absence of any unpleasant thougts and I wonder where they hide.
Maybe talking about this here is why you haven't had them in a few days? Talking about it seems to help? Yeah, music was the worst stuff that I couldn't get out of my head!