I've been dealing with social anxiety since I was a teenager (around 30 years). I've only recently realized that my life, my actions then and now, and to some extent my physical symptoms and probably some depression is all related to something I never dealt with until now. I did a little research on social anxiety and I was amazed at how I could relate. I don't know what to really do about it because these reactions are so built in to me now I don't know if I can really change. I always sat at the back of the bus, I liked the back of the class and if I go to a meeting for my daughters school like a teacher parent conference I just turn red, sweat, shake etc. I've ran my own business for a long time (lawn service) because its good money if you work hard and more importantly I didn't have to deal directly with people which to me is way more comfortable. But now I have a bad back and recently sold my business and I sit here at home with my dogs. NO friends or family that can really help me so I'm so alone. People don't like me and I could never figure out exactly why but people see the tension in me where I do not so they stay away or don't even look at me or say hi. Its like I have the word "DISEASE" written on my forehead. Do social phobics experience teeth clinching, bad dreams, and not remembering someones name when introduced? It seems I usually review any lengthy social interactions to analyze the encounter and I feel aware of what people are thinking by their facial expressions to me and analyze that too. Its not like I'm paranoid so much as aware and afraid of being judged because I just want to be normal thats all. I do have a AA in liberal arts with a 3.0 so I'm not stupid, I have the will to be successfull but how can I open a pool hall or store if people just don't like me? I wish there was a support group for people like me but who would run it? Kind of funny huh. My life is in the worst possible spot not having a job and afraid if I could actually punch a clock again and handle working without blowing my cover. My bad back created another problem with pain meds and alcohol. I just wish I was normal but the psyc. doc says I am normal and just have to rid my mind of a few bad experiences through DDR (the little things you hold in your hands and they give alternating shocks to the left then to the right). I don't agree with his prognosis so I'm here writing this. I hope someone can relate and advise is welcome...

You seem to have a complete distrust of everyone and everything, which seems to fuel your anti-social behavior.

When you say your 'psyc.,' do you mean psychologist or psychiatrist? Seems like you're only taking pain meds and alcohol, which will not treat your symptoms of a social disorder.

Have you been to a psychiatrist? If they dx you with a social disorder, then they can give you meds which will stabilize the chemicals in your brain in charge of mood and hyper-vigilance.

This in conjunction with therapy from a psychologist or therapist is really the mainstay route for many with social/anxiety/panic disorders.

My biggest concern is that you seem to say 'no' a lot. From what I read, you have a preconceived notion of how everyone thinks and how things work and you're not willing to concede change. Until you decide that you must trust in professionals that study and practice years in their fields, you really won't get any better.

I had a slight social disorder where I didn't like to be around people. Always sat in a corner seat so I could get out of there before anyone else. Segregated myself from the world. But when I was treated for panic disorder, I have no problems talking to complete strangers now. Just making idol chit-chat. They're just people, like you. People like respect and to be treated with dignity and humanity. Most people are too busy on their cell phones, consumed with their own lives to practice this. You can't expect people to be friendly with you, but you can choose to be friendly with them. If they don't respond, so be it. But you'd be surprised how you can get a chuckle or a smile when you show a stranger complete respect and understanding from out of the blue.

Let us know what path you choose. I'm hoping you go see a psychiatrist and at least allow them to treat you before you dismiss them.

Shakes
:jester: