Hi all,

I feel like I'm losing my mind. I've been chronically ill for six months. I'm sure many of you can relate. I have a chronic fatigue type illness rather than fm though. Every day goes by and I'm usually unable to leave the house or anything. The most I usually ever do is travel to my parents' house 20 minutes away for dinner. I've lost my job and most of my friends even before this happened because they are mostly all married and starting their families. I am 30 and am now in the 3rd or 4th phase of everyone getting married. Not only have the circles of new single people to meet for friendship died out but now that I'm sick, I can't meet anyone new for friendship. So, except for a few faithful, I really don't have any friends. Yesterday, I thought I was beginning to have a good day and made it out to the library during the day and over to one of my faithful friend's houses to talk for a few hours. I went home and came down sick again, out of nowhere, didn't sleep well, etc. Woke up feeling bad too.

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE IT'S ONE STEP FORWARD AND TWO STEPS BACK!!??

I have of course struggled with being depressed about my illness for the last few months because it is so debilitating but I am really hitting a wall now. To think you might be getting better only to have another setback is so depressing and it happens all the time, it seems. I feel like I just can't handle this anymore. I'm young and want to get out and just live, do you know what I mean? I'm so upset. I feel like this is the rest of my life...that I'm never going to get better.

Please help me deal with this. I'm going crazy trapped in this body. Like I said, I feel like I'm really hitting the wall of being able to take this.

Thanks.

Hi Confetti and welcome! I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling so bad and I do know firsthand just how awful it can get! You may want to take the time to read down the board and see if you run into any information that might be of help. I'd love to hear more about you and what you're doing to live with FM. I've been getting progressively worse for the past 4 years, I'm 33 now. I was just diagnosed a few months ago so I'm on the incredible and sometimes overwhelming journey of searching for treatments and ways to cope. I've been making some heavy duty lifestyle changes too and not surprisingly have been feeling a bit better! There are some wonderful people here to chat with,keep coming back!

hugs, confetti

[This message has been edited by Copper (edited 02-01-2001).]

I'm so sorry you have endured so much physical and psychological pain! It must hurt a great deal to see your whole life come to a screeching halt. Please,please don't despair and give up. This site is full of brave fellow sufferers who hit the wall all too often and still refuse to give up. Chronic Fat. and Fibro overlap, so I hope you have the best medical help. I have a Rheumatologist and a Neurologist. Also there is no reason you cannot be given pain meds that are effective and safe. God bless, Al awpcwp@cs.com

Confetti, you will find that you will always be taking 2 steps forward and then maybe 3 steps backward. There are times when you may have a remission stage, but I don't think any of us have actually gone pain free completely. It also depends on weather and our own moods--at least with me it does. Last year I started the year with the flu, but it was gone after a week or so. But this year, no flu because I got a shot, but I have been so tired for the past 2 weeks that I just about sleep all day long. And am still ready for bed at 9 p.m. What we've learned is to take it one day at a time. I hope you get up on your feet soon. Maybe the change in weather will help all of us.