melissalyn76
08-15-2007, 03:54 AM
My niece has shown aggressive behavior since approx. 14 months old. She is currently 4 1/2. She hits, pinches, pushes, digs her nails into you and recently has forcibly held my daughter under water in an inflatable pool.
She poops in her pants anytime she feels like it, because there are many times that she makes it to the bathroom without a problem. This has been happening for about a year and a half now. Constipation is not an issue, nor is diarreha. It seems to be a way to show that she is in control.
Next you can throw in temper tantrums, a dislike of bathing, she is intentionally defiant, ignores you when you speak to her and can pout for hours at a time. When her mommy is around things are much worse then when she is with me and her mom is not there, but please do not think that she stops the behaviors when it is just me.
I am at a loss and do not know what to do. I cant find any particular type of disorder for her behaviors because she fits into so many. It is getting to the point that I do not want her around my daughter to frequently. We are family and I want to help if I can. Any suggestions of what this may be? We are not talking about normal childhood behavior issues, in a group of other children she stands out like a sore thumb with her behavior. Any help, please?! :confused:
She poops in her pants anytime she feels like it, because there are many times that she makes it to the bathroom without a problem. This has been happening for about a year and a half now. Constipation is not an issue, nor is diarreha. It seems to be a way to show that she is in control.
Next you can throw in temper tantrums, a dislike of bathing, she is intentionally defiant, ignores you when you speak to her and can pout for hours at a time. When her mommy is around things are much worse then when she is with me and her mom is not there, but please do not think that she stops the behaviors when it is just me.
I am at a loss and do not know what to do. I cant find any particular type of disorder for her behaviors because she fits into so many. It is getting to the point that I do not want her around my daughter to frequently. We are family and I want to help if I can. Any suggestions of what this may be? We are not talking about normal childhood behavior issues, in a group of other children she stands out like a sore thumb with her behavior. Any help, please?! :confused:
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Sannah
08-15-2007, 09:56 AM
Melissa, this child needs to be evaluated! This is her life and this is her childhood and time for development. She needs intervention so that she can develop normally.
melissalyn76
08-15-2007, 12:48 PM
Melissa, this child needs to be evaluated! This is her life and this is her childhood and time for development. She needs intervention so that she can develop normally.
This might sound a little strange for a 4 1/2 yr old but she knows how to "act". She literally made herself cry crocodile tears the other day because my cat is "her little old buddy and she loves him" one minute later she was running and playing like nothing happened. That said, I am not sure if my in-law would be entirely truthful with a dr. for fear of "looking bad." She is a single mother and wants the world to think that she is doing a great job, as best she can with the hand she is dealt. So with the acting on top of not giving full disclosure I dont know how much good it would do. :(
This might sound a little strange for a 4 1/2 yr old but she knows how to "act". She literally made herself cry crocodile tears the other day because my cat is "her little old buddy and she loves him" one minute later she was running and playing like nothing happened. That said, I am not sure if my in-law would be entirely truthful with a dr. for fear of "looking bad." She is a single mother and wants the world to think that she is doing a great job, as best she can with the hand she is dealt. So with the acting on top of not giving full disclosure I dont know how much good it would do. :(
Sannah
08-15-2007, 12:58 PM
Why does a child need to act? Sounds like she has serious issues to me.
cinemachick
08-16-2007, 12:31 AM
I agree, she needs an evaluation or she needs to see a child psychologist. Her mother should have nothing to hide from a psych. I'm sure parents make mistakes sometimes, but as long as she is not abusing her, there should be no problem.
melissalyn76
08-16-2007, 09:59 PM
I absolutely do not think she is abusing my niece but she is very prideful and that is what I think will get in the way with the full disclosure part. I have mentioned many times about seeing someone for evaluation but it just doesnt get through, or, she doens twant to face the truth. I feel so frustrated because there is not much I can do.
GatsbyLuvr1920
08-17-2007, 01:02 AM
You may want to read a bit more about Oppostitional Defiant Disorder (ODD). She has some behaviors that could possibly signal that. There is definitely something going on, though, as the others have said. The dislike of bathing could be a sensory thing. The water may "hurt" her. I have Asperger's. Getting washed is intensely unpleasant for me because I hate the feeling of being wet/water on my skin. At any rate, it doesn't sound like Asperger's from what I read of your posts.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
Sannah
08-17-2007, 09:45 AM
Melissa, maybe tell your SIL that this is the time that your niece is socially/emotionally/mentally developing and she isn't developing normally and that it will be much harder to correct the older she gets?