I_M_Scared
08-16-2007, 01:39 AM
I have made and cancelled several times. I have another one in a week. I am terrified to go...and this is the main reason I cancel.
I am afraid the doc is gonna tell me I am a sex offender who hasn't offended...yet.
My intursive thoughts aren't as bad since the zoloft (which I know I need to increase the dosage on) but the guilt and subsequent rumination is there. I feel guilty for things I have never done. I am afraid the doc will pull things out of me that I either didn't realize or tell me that I exhibit signs of pedophilia....the list of fears go on. So now, I am having anxiety over getting help.
Can anyone relate??
I am afraid the doc is gonna tell me I am a sex offender who hasn't offended...yet.
My intursive thoughts aren't as bad since the zoloft (which I know I need to increase the dosage on) but the guilt and subsequent rumination is there. I feel guilty for things I have never done. I am afraid the doc will pull things out of me that I either didn't realize or tell me that I exhibit signs of pedophilia....the list of fears go on. So now, I am having anxiety over getting help.
Can anyone relate??
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Psychobabble
08-16-2007, 01:47 AM
Hi :)
I can very much relate to you. I was scared to death when I first went for help with my OCD. I also have had the pedophile obsession (it is a more common obsession than you'd think). I know it is a hard issue to talk about but it sounds as if you really could use some help in overcoming this obsession. I know it is very scary, but please see your doctor. You won't regret it. The doctor will not label you as a pedophile (believe me, I know...I was scared that the same thing would happen to me). You have OCD and that is what they will help you with.
Good luck and keep us posted.
I can very much relate to you. I was scared to death when I first went for help with my OCD. I also have had the pedophile obsession (it is a more common obsession than you'd think). I know it is a hard issue to talk about but it sounds as if you really could use some help in overcoming this obsession. I know it is very scary, but please see your doctor. You won't regret it. The doctor will not label you as a pedophile (believe me, I know...I was scared that the same thing would happen to me). You have OCD and that is what they will help you with.
Good luck and keep us posted.
kirkin
08-16-2007, 12:08 PM
Hey!!! I know where you are coming from... I recently went to the doctor because of the same obsession. I thought the same thing about whether they would tell me that I'm really a sick person. I found out that a lot of people with OCD have the same obsession about being a pedophile. They know that its OCD and not you coming into confess that your suddenly a sick pedophile. I'm just starting CBT and I hope it helps because just the thoughts alone makes me want to cry.. I know that its OCD, but it seems so real.. GET SOME HELP!!! Its not worth living life like this because you can get help and know one will judge you for something that you are not....
I_M_Scared
08-16-2007, 01:11 PM
Thank you both so much!!!
Its so hard to say that's its pedophilia fear. That word itself makes me nauseated. I am glad I am not alone, but I wish none of us had to deal with this crap.
Its so hard to say that's its pedophilia fear. That word itself makes me nauseated. I am glad I am not alone, but I wish none of us had to deal with this crap.
Psychobabble
08-16-2007, 06:00 PM
Hi :)
I hear you on wishing we didn't have to go through this crap. That is why I am glad this forum exists. I've been going to CBT for about 6 months now and I've told my therapist everything that has gone through my mind. She is so compassionate and very good at her job. However, I went to a psychiatrist today (the first time in 5 years) to get re-evaluated for medication. I had to tell her what kinds of obsessions I have been having and I had to tell her about the pedophilia one...it was so hard for me to do! So I definitely understand your fear. However, she knew well I had OCD and that is what she is working on helping me with. It is never as bad as you think it will be...but I do understand it is tough. I hate even saying the word 'pedophile'! hah. Hope you are doing well today :)
I hear you on wishing we didn't have to go through this crap. That is why I am glad this forum exists. I've been going to CBT for about 6 months now and I've told my therapist everything that has gone through my mind. She is so compassionate and very good at her job. However, I went to a psychiatrist today (the first time in 5 years) to get re-evaluated for medication. I had to tell her what kinds of obsessions I have been having and I had to tell her about the pedophilia one...it was so hard for me to do! So I definitely understand your fear. However, she knew well I had OCD and that is what she is working on helping me with. It is never as bad as you think it will be...but I do understand it is tough. I hate even saying the word 'pedophile'! hah. Hope you are doing well today :)
seaturtle
08-16-2007, 11:58 PM
Hi,
This might help -- your pdoc will understand completely. It's a rather common obsession, and I'm sure he's heard it before many times.
Try making it the first thing you tell him - not in shame, but "Lookk, doc, this is driving me nuts, please help me."
It's not you. It's an illness, and he knows that.
At the same time, I understand feeling ashamed. But if you really had that p-philia disorder, you wouldn't be at all upset.
Let us know how it goes. I am sure you will be fine after you get there.
This might help -- your pdoc will understand completely. It's a rather common obsession, and I'm sure he's heard it before many times.
Try making it the first thing you tell him - not in shame, but "Lookk, doc, this is driving me nuts, please help me."
It's not you. It's an illness, and he knows that.
At the same time, I understand feeling ashamed. But if you really had that p-philia disorder, you wouldn't be at all upset.
Let us know how it goes. I am sure you will be fine after you get there.