Sorry but I just have to vent. I have fibro and recently found out I have arthritis of the spine among other things. Anyway my husband is fully aware of this and the fact that due to a recent vacation and overdoing it I am in a terrible flare. What did he ask me this morning? To help him move the outside deck table-large table made of steel and heavy glass that seats 10- DOWN a full flight of stairs off the deck and when I said no without hesitation he got annoyed. Is he F#@@#@ BLIND! I have no idea what is wrong with him. I wouldn't attempt that on a good day in fact I probobly wouldn't attempt it even if I was in great shape! Also wants to have a party tonight! WHAT THE HELL?????? I told him I'm not up to that and guess what? yup he's annoyed. So now he wants to have his brother come over so they can sit around and drink. I said no to that to but think I will change my mind because then he can help him move the damn table and keep him away from me before I push him and the table down the stairs! Not a good start to my day.

:wave: Hey Kdel, vent away kiddo, get it all out! stress is your enemy remember? you are doing so well in view of the situation recent events have put you in, men don't think, well known fact. Yeh let his brother come over, let him help move the furniture, you take yourself off and do something else, watch a movie whatever, let them get on with it:p Familys have trouble accepting the change in us and they hope its not a permanant change so they test now and then is all. You stand by your guns, saying no ain't easy, but Sweet you're learning, good for you:cool: Take care try and keep well Snoozyowl;) S/Bella we did a boo boo:(

Oh baby, I'm so sorry you had to put up with this ignorance. He's still in denial and mourning the old you and it is such a difficult time for you. Have you thought of making an appointment with the FMS doctor and then take your hubby with you? The doctor may be able to impart some well-needed wisdom into your hubby's brain. Snoozy is correct. Men sometimes don't think.

Been there myself!

Blessings,
Kirstee

I really don't think he would come and if he did he wouldn't listen anyway. My regular doctor actually offered to write a letter to my husband. I declined at the time but may reconsider.

I think having the doctor write your husband would be a good thing. Many times hubbies can forget how we really feel, after all we are the ones with the Fibro. My husband goes to just about all my appointments with me and i speak out the truth loud and clear to these docs. This way my husband can hear just how i really feel, i also tend to forget half of what doc says so having hubby with me is helpful. This darn fibro fog is no fun.

BeHappy2

kdel, it will get better. I suffered for years with no idea why until last summer when I was dx. Even before I was dx, hubby would ask me to help him with stuff. Everytime we moved, I helped, even with big stuff because there was no one else to help him. And everytime, I would have to wait a few days before I was able to start putting the house in order and unpacking. During this time all I had was whatever I could find OTC.

Then last summer I was dx w/fibro. The rheumy gave me some handouts and I left them lying where he could see them but didn't push him to pick them up. After a couple of days, he started asking me how I felt before we went out or did something hard. He had questions about fibro so I started researching it and that's how I found this board. Hubby changed his idea of me and what I could do real quick after I was dx. But he had seen me for years crying because I hurt so bad and the dr would not give me anything. Or being unable to put on certain clothes without help. Luckily for me, hubby is willing to slow down the pace of our life. We both prefer easy relaxing activities, instead of strenous ones. I am so lucky to have hubby, but he also saw how my parents suffered from their illnesses and he is willing to do whatever it takes to keep me mobile with him. I highly recommend getting a movie membership somewhere. Some days I feel really horrible and we will sit together on the couch and watch movies. Hubby also knows when I am lying about how I feel. I think the only reason hubby was able to accept the "new me" was because we took care of my dad when he had surgery on both arms. He has seen how people try to hide the pain and how they feel when someone has to do simple things for them, like tie shoes.


Your hubby will come around eventually. Some men just need to be shoved while others only need a small push.;)

:wave: Hey Kdel, how you doing Sweet? Hopefully things have improved, way to go Tweiler, you handled that sooo well. Take heart Kdel, he'll get there, my hubby has, he is still suffering with his back, but is taking meds for it and keeping mobile. He asked me if this is the sort of pain I get all over on a daily basis and how do I keep going with the meds I take, bless him, love him to bits dontcha know!!:bouncing: No doubt there will be times when they forget, when they really want to do or go somewhere, :rolleyes: don't get upset or angry, just gently remind him, if that don't get the message through then slosh him one and ask how he likes the pain:D tee hee, just kidding honest, it's a thought though ain't it?:eek: Take care everyone and try to keep well Snoozyowl;)