I have a small problem when I get upset. I was fine and hardly got upset. Well I live with my fiance and he works offshore. We hardly get into arguments and such. Well when we do I have this thing that I get upset too easily and cannot control the volume of my voice. I don't know why I am yelling. I have no reason to do so. It makes me feel bad and feel like a jerk because he will be talking to me calmly while I am yelling. How can I fix this? I know for me to stop yelling no one can speak to me for a while so I can calm down and control myself, but it is hard because he wants to continue the argument until it gets settled. How can I control myself when I feel I am getting upset so I will not yell and loose my temper?

Thank you, Dana

It is a matter of training and practise. Take a deep breath. Do not rush in with your responses, but think for a second or two and compose your answer. You are yelling because you are afraid of not being heard. If you keep practising, you will gradually realise that you are being heard (even more so) without the volume. Paople will just hear the yelling and not so much the words in it. Speak calmly and your words will be listened to. Say out loud "I am angry and I will not yell". It is getting rid of something which is a learned response and replacing it with another learned response.

Thank you so much for replying. I shall try that and get him to help me with that also. That is very good advice. -hugs-

Thank you, Dana