lbreeze
08-19-2007, 03:40 AM
I've had mild ocd for a few years. I describe it as mild because for the most part, it doesn't interrupt my everyday life. Yet, after sex, I find myself in the shower for well over an hour. Then I feel the urge to clean any place in the house that may have been "contaminated" by me or my partner, doorknobs, countertops, ect. I don't fear that I will get sick or anything if I don't, I'd just obsess over whether there were germs everywhere. Needless to say, it definitely takes some of the joy out of sex.
Does anybody else have similar feelings? Can anybody offer any suggestions on how to overcome this problem?
Does anybody else have similar feelings? Can anybody offer any suggestions on how to overcome this problem?
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purplegirl1
08-19-2007, 04:08 AM
do you go for CBT therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? I wonder if this ritual after sex is somewhat of a thought of feeling "Dirty" from having sex? I used to feel VERY dirty from having Sex.. which is and was part of my OCD... I still do feel like a dirty person, and I am married over 3 years. I love my hubby, but it is in my head, not real. It is the OCD...CBT would help you expose yourself to not doing the rituals.. slowly though.. like maybe instead of 1 hour shower, you cut down to 1/2 hour and clean only 1 thing...it will raise your anxiety.. but will sensatize you to the fact that you don't have to do the rituals to the pt. where eventually you won't even do that after sex anymore...
Let me ask, What do you think will happen if you dont' shower?
Let me ask, What do you think will happen if you dont' shower?
lbreeze
08-19-2007, 04:41 AM
Thanks for the response. I suppose I've been coaching myself through CBT and it has helped tremendously in most other aspects of my life. I don't think anything will happen if I don't shower right away (as far as an illness or anything). I'm just afraid that I'm going to spread body fluids/germs (despite having washed my hands) all over the house. I've actually thrown objects away that I thought I may have touched after sex. And even if I were to shower normally, I'd feel as if I didn't do it right somehow. That mode of thinking leads me to ritualize in order to completely ease my mind.
purplegirl1
08-19-2007, 05:44 AM
That Is Completely Ocd Thinking....cbt Is The Best To Desensatize This Obsession And Compulsion....
I Know It Is Sooo Hard To Try To Stop When You Are In The Situation. What Does Your Partner Say? Are They Supportive?
I Know It Is Sooo Hard To Try To Stop When You Are In The Situation. What Does Your Partner Say? Are They Supportive?
lbreeze
11-29-2007, 05:19 AM
I hadn't come back to this post in a while, but the problem still exists. In fact, it may be worse. I've started to avoid sexual contact almost entirely. My partner doesn't judge but she's definitely frustrated and it's causing problems between us even outside of the bedroom.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a total weirdo. I don't know what to do:confused:. It's one of the most enjoyable and anxiety provoking activities for me. My ocd seems to be better as far as my hand washing and just day to day life, but my anxiety seems to triple when sex is involved.
I'm sure I'd be just as fearful of or stressed out about using a public bathroom or doing just about any of the things shown on that tv show "Dirty Jobs" (I don't know why that popped into my head:)). But I can easily avoid those things. I can't and don't want to avoid sex.
Again, it's not a moral issue or a fear of contracting a disease. I just feel contaminated afterwards. Sorry for the rant but I'm so sick of dealing with this.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a total weirdo. I don't know what to do:confused:. It's one of the most enjoyable and anxiety provoking activities for me. My ocd seems to be better as far as my hand washing and just day to day life, but my anxiety seems to triple when sex is involved.
I'm sure I'd be just as fearful of or stressed out about using a public bathroom or doing just about any of the things shown on that tv show "Dirty Jobs" (I don't know why that popped into my head:)). But I can easily avoid those things. I can't and don't want to avoid sex.
Again, it's not a moral issue or a fear of contracting a disease. I just feel contaminated afterwards. Sorry for the rant but I'm so sick of dealing with this.
joyboy1
11-29-2007, 09:20 AM
I have similar fears as you do, i had a drunken night out( and my OCD is telling me i had unprotected sex) as i actually cant remember doing anything. Until i can get a test in 3 months time i am living in fear that im going to pass on HIV to a family member, every time i do a sexual activity i feel i need to shower or bath, then scrub the shower and then my hands, then the doorknob and then wash all the towels i have touched. Even clean the bottle of shower gel with disinfectant. Yesterday i used 2 toilet rolls to clean the toilet seat! It has never been this bad before, but i think it may have something to do with guilt, as i am in a relationship and my ocd tells me i have cheated. Just as i thought i was actually having a breakdown this morning i had a moment of inspiration. I realized that i have been trying to feel and have a perfect peace of mind about everything. Alot of OCD sufferers carry out these rituals so that they can have peace of mind even if its just for a few hours, not worrying about ocd can feel so good and can give you your freedom back. But this morning for some reason a thought popped into my head which was 'im not going to carry out this ritual because i can live with a little bit of anxiety in my life, if it means being in control and not wasting my time doing these stupid things, then i will gladly swap it for a bit of anxiety' This gave me such a feeling of control and typing this message an hour after the anxiety was at its highest, its virtually gone. I am a perfectionist and i now realize that i have been searching for the perfect life, not having to worry about anything, but actually when you think of it, a little anxiety isn't that bad if it means just cutting down my ocd by half. Think of your OCD as a little child, and your the parent of that brat, get it under control. Parents dont like telling their children off but its for their own good.
You will possibly be thinking its easier for other people to deal with their ocd, yesterday i had to call up my therapist who i haven't seen in nearly a year because this cleaning ocd was so bad, but now i really start to feel like im taking control. Just think back to other rituals that you have had to carry out which you dont do anymore, i finished college 6 months ago and i had to burn all the paper work and clean with disinfectant all the stuff i was keeping, just incase my 'home' stuff got infected with 'college'. Looking back at it now i feel so stupid and there was no need for it. I think its because a far greater worry about cleaning the shower came along and that took priority. I bet once you get another ritual going that the cleaning one will disappear.
You will possibly be thinking its easier for other people to deal with their ocd, yesterday i had to call up my therapist who i haven't seen in nearly a year because this cleaning ocd was so bad, but now i really start to feel like im taking control. Just think back to other rituals that you have had to carry out which you dont do anymore, i finished college 6 months ago and i had to burn all the paper work and clean with disinfectant all the stuff i was keeping, just incase my 'home' stuff got infected with 'college'. Looking back at it now i feel so stupid and there was no need for it. I think its because a far greater worry about cleaning the shower came along and that took priority. I bet once you get another ritual going that the cleaning one will disappear.
cleansweap
11-29-2007, 03:21 PM
Wow! So at what point/when did you start to do this? Have you tried limiting your shower time? Say for 30min. instead of an hour? Try nocking off 15 minutes at a time on your showers, and soon you will be on a road to recovery. From what I've read concerning repeditve conditions, and from my own expeirence with mild problems myself; training yourself to just stop, takes time but you can do it. I'm a nail biter myself, and I have to tell myself that, there is nothing else to bite/trim. I can go for weeks with out a bitting session, but when I have one, I have to just stop before my fingers or sore.
It won't be easy but you can do it. I'm not cured, but I don't consider it a problem any more either. Best of luck:cool:
It won't be easy but you can do it. I'm not cured, but I don't consider it a problem any more either. Best of luck:cool:
lbreeze
11-29-2007, 10:22 PM
'im not going to carry out this ritual because i can live with a little bit of anxiety in my life, if it means being in control and not wasting my time doing these stupid things, then i will gladly swap it for a bit of anxiety'
Joyboy, this is a great way of looking at it. I've come to this conclusion concerning most everything in my life, but for some reason it's so much harder for me to take this stance on bodily fluids.
My mind just continuously questions whether or not everything was cleaned and wonders if I'm transferring germs all over the place. It's so agonizing:mad:. I submit virtually everytime just to gain a little bit of normalcy.
I don't have any other rituals aside from cleaning. Occasionally, one cleaning obsession is replaced with another though.
Wow! So at what point/when did you start to do this? Have you tried limiting your shower time? Say for 30min. instead of an hour?
Thanks for the advice cleansweap. It grew and grew starting a couple of years ago. It used to be a slightly longer than normal shower and then I started to question if that was enough. So more rituals were incorporated and it became more anxiety filled. Now it's come to avoidance entirely.
Joyboy, this is a great way of looking at it. I've come to this conclusion concerning most everything in my life, but for some reason it's so much harder for me to take this stance on bodily fluids.
My mind just continuously questions whether or not everything was cleaned and wonders if I'm transferring germs all over the place. It's so agonizing:mad:. I submit virtually everytime just to gain a little bit of normalcy.
I don't have any other rituals aside from cleaning. Occasionally, one cleaning obsession is replaced with another though.
Wow! So at what point/when did you start to do this? Have you tried limiting your shower time? Say for 30min. instead of an hour?
Thanks for the advice cleansweap. It grew and grew starting a couple of years ago. It used to be a slightly longer than normal shower and then I started to question if that was enough. So more rituals were incorporated and it became more anxiety filled. Now it's come to avoidance entirely.