I have been doing so much better since I got out of that hospital that felt like prison. Gave up alcohol and felt like I had a new lease on life. However, I guess it is my fluctuating moods making me sad lately. My son cannot forgive me for my overdose since the first time. He seems to want nothing to do with me. Now my grandaughter is acting kind of distant. She is only 6 now, but we have always been super close.

I guess being on pins and needles waiting to hear about the jobs, especially when I am desperate for money is causing a lot of stress. Plus the idea of starting the job will be very stressful. I had all but given up on my career, but I decided that I want to continue. It is what I know and I am good at.

My friends (so called) also abandoned me when I first started having this crisis. This all started just not quite 2 years ago. When I needed them the most, they had no time for me. I will not forget this for a long time!!! I am looking forward to getting back to work, meeting new friends and starting all over. It is really tough having no one hardly to talk to. Everyone is too "busy" for me.

My family is difficult and not exactly a cheering section!!! They are a tough crowd. I just feel very sad and alone right now. I am ready to move on, and get out of this house and independent again. I am WAY to old to have to abide by my parents rules!!

Wish me luck, you guys are very supportive.

I may be having a computer problem...I have to reinstall the windows and hope I don't screw it up!! :(

HI,

How are u feeling? I know exactly what U are going thru and I am totally here for you if u need a freind to talk to. 2 yrs ago I was hospitalized for depression/anxiety. I had a nervous breakdown and It seemed like the best thing for me was going into the hospital. All my friends abandoned me and talked crap about me calling me "crazy" and "loney toons" but I didn't need them as friends anyways. But U do get lonely dealing w/ depression all by yourself.

I am currently looking for work also but have such high anxiety about it I don't know what it is but everytime I leave the house my pressure goes about 1000 points up. I am currently taking meds for this but they don't seem to be working.

So I hope things get better for you. And I will say a prayer for ya also.

God bless.

I am feeling a little better since I saw my counselor today. She reminded me to focus on what is to come, such as a job and independence again. I cannot wait to make new friends and have some sort of social life!

It is awfully hard to be in this position, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I do not understand why people abandon us. My own son calls me looney tunes and tells people I am in the crazy house! I told him, since he was being a smart *** that not to worry, it runs in the family and he will be there soon! I was just joking of course!

What hurt me a lot was my best friend since age 15 did the same thing, and she has had her own problems with depression and mental illnesses. I wrote her a nasty email once, but I am going to send one and apologize. I guess everyone has their way of dealing with things. Just don't expect me to be there for you when you abandoned me in my darkest hour!!!

Thanks for the reply. I still have not heard from any jobs I applied for yet, as far as an offer to work anyway.

Take care!

karen51