I just want to share my experience with everyone. I am currently on vacation in Michigan. I lived here for 6 years before moving back home to New York in January because I got so severely sick from my ED. I had lost everything here because of this disorder. I got the opportunity to come back and visit my old friends and coworkers but before my trip I was extremely nervous about how I would deal with everyone's reactions when they saw me. (I've put on weight since leaving. I looked like a walking skeleton when I left.)

My goal was to throw all the ED bull out the window while I was here and eat normal. I have to say that I did it!! No counting cals, no measuring, no scales, no restricting, no lax, no b/p, etc. I knew that if I continued my ED behaviors while I was here I would have no energy and be miserable. I have eaten like a normal person these past few days and felt great! I pushed all the negative thoughts away and truly am having such a great time. I've had energy to stay constantly busy seeing friends and going out to lunch/dinner and eating normal healthy meals and not depriving myself! Its been so great to be free!

I have even dealt with the comments well. Instead of freaking out over "You look good " "You have put on weight" "you look alot better" , I have taken all these as positive compliments. I really looked like a concentration camp victim when I left and just looked awful.

I have gone out to eat and had normal meals, even vegan pizza! :) It felt so good to eat with everyone and enjoy food without sticking to safe foods or thinking about b/p'ing.

I hope I can stick with this when I get back. It will be very hard but this freedom I feel right now is incredible. My energy is shocking!! Usually I am totally wiped out by the evening or after running too many errands/etc but not anymore! I've even been able to sleep normal at night without constant negative ED thoughts keeping me up.

Sorry this is so long but I am just so excited right now to have let go of it. I don't know how I will deal when I get on the scale when I get home but right now I am living in the moment and enjoyng every second. Maybe this is my wake up call. I am seeing what was taken from me and how much of life I've missed. For everyone trying to recover keep going!! You CAN do it!

Hi - that is really great to hear! I'm glad you're doing well, and you mentioned vegan pizza... I'm a vegan too :) Keep up the good work! You're doing so well :)

CONGRATULATIONS !!! It's so hard to deal with being away from familiar routines when ED is in control :) You did it, and know that you can, and what it feels like to not have it be the main focus in your life--- keep remembering how good that feels, and how much better that is than being a slave to ED :)

That's great news! I had a similar experience in June. I went to New York on a business trip / vacation. Beforehand I told my self I was going to allow myself to eat "normal" food. And I did it! I think being out of your normal routine and environment helps. Maybe that's why ED programs work so well. Thanks for keeping us updated with your good news!

Thanks guys for the support. I agree with you Maria about being out of your environment/routine does help. I always thought it would be worse but it was actually better.

Chickpea-I've been vegetarian/then vegan for over 15 yrs now (I only developed my ED last year).

neurowreck-Thanks for the support . You are always very inspirational.
I am back now from my vacation and pretty depressed. I hate this place and it is very triggering for my ED and depression. But I am seeing my dr. tomorrow and very much looking forward to that!