I think sometimes this is so pathetic that we, including all of you and myself, are just whining, crying and doing all that typical being depressed stuff ONLINE. I'm a senior college student. I can't afford no freakin shrink or any kind of counseling that costs me money. it's like I'm gonna be broke before even getting help. so I am sitting here in front of my computer and reading and typing. I don't know. it's so depressive that I can't even afford to be depressed. you know what I mean? man, it's so messed up. u need a finance to be depressed, sad, cry, whine, get help, get hug, get padded on the back, be emotional, let it out whatever. anybody feels the same way? I'm not looking for an answer or anything. I'm just talking ****. it feels tiny bit better. but the fact is I am still online.

p.s) please don't come up w/ do u have insurance, there is this affordable blah blah blah

I'm so sorry you feel this way. Personally, I find this place as a sanctuary. Everyone is nice and can understand you; better than some people you know personally. Is there anyone on the campus like a counselor that you can talk with?

Hi Dame,
I on the contrary, I feel extremely brave when I open up and share my feelings with others. It is like putting everything in perspective and I am also getting someone else's opinion, this someone being a person who is not as emotionally imvolved with my problems as I am, and therefore can offer an unbiased opinion and a fresh way of looking at things. Besides, when I am depressed I cannot think clearly, let alone see a reasonable way out of my problems. But others can...
I found help and solace so many times that it is almost catharctic.
Also, just the fact that you are broke and can share it with us, indicates to me that you are in touch with reality and that you are doing something about it; something you can afford.
Take care:)

Dame,

I have never felt more accepted and understood anywhere than I have here. I feel like this is like a support group and it doesnt matter if its online. I feel like its easier talking to people whom I don't know because they are less likely to judge me!

Im sorry you feel differently. But if you change your mind Im here! ;)

Hi Dame, you sound angry. You school doesn't have a free therapy service? I got almost all of my therapy from my universities. Being able to talk about your feelings and getting helpful feedback (empathy, psych info, etc.) is what is important whether this is online or offline. You even said that you felt better in your post after you wrote it!!!! Please keep posting and maybe stop thinking that you and the rest of us are losers. Who told you (either directly or indirectly) that you are a loser anyway?

I don't feel this way at all. For some people this is a lot easier than speaking to someone face to face. A lot of people can't do that (and money has nothing to do with it).

I don't feel this way at all. For some people this is a lot easier than speaking to someone face to face. A lot of people can't do that (and money has nothing to do with it).I agree with this. I feel more comfortable here than I would talking to my family, because I can't...not about this and quite a few other things. I don't feel as comfortable. I also like the fact that other people can actually relate to what I'm saying and how I can relate to others. I guess I'm seeing this as a support group.

As for a doctor, I would go to one, but I can't afford one. They cost too much.

One of the reasons I stopped posting here is because I started feeling this way. At first, this board was the only place I felt safe and unconditionally accepted and I started feeling way better (this board actually still is the only safe place for me). But then I started feeling so stupid because it turns out that the only reason I finally found real friends was because I was diagnosed with depression, which is a diagnosis that all my family and friends think is complete nonsense and is totally under my control. Then I started feeling really bad that I no longer had any valuable advice to give and could no longer be a positive presence to everyone here on the board. So this is why I stopped. What a loser I am!

Just wanna say that I understand. This totally sucks and sometimes we are left with nothing but a whole lotta anger, which I still have much of. Feel better soon.

Lilme, I was wondering why you haven't posted anymore. How are the issues going these days? You can come here only for help you know! The folks who are looking down on Depression in your life really don't have a valuable opinion IMO! Such hurtful opinions cannot be valuable. Good things do not bring pain. Do you want to talk about your anger?

Hi. I'm glad that forums like this exist. All the stuff I talk about here I wouldn't dare talk about them to anyone I know. I think that most people don't even know I am depressed.

The people here have helped me immensely when nobody else cared or was available. You may feel like a loser, Dame, but I don't. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of.

One of the reasons I stopped posting here is because I started feeling this way. At first, this board was the only place I felt safe and unconditionally accepted and I started feeling way better (this board actually still is the only safe place for me). But then I started feeling so stupid because it turns out that the only reason I finally found real friends was because I was diagnosed with depression, which is a diagnosis that all my family and friends think is complete nonsense and is totally under my control. Then I started feeling really bad that I no longer had any valuable advice to give and could no longer be a positive presence to everyone here on the board. So this is why I stopped. What a loser I am!

Just wanna say that I understand. This totally sucks and sometimes we are left with nothing but a whole lotta anger, which I still have much of. Feel better soon.

at least one person feels what I'm feeling.

my problem is that okay, when I'm at "home" and feel depressed, I might come here, read bunch of stuff and get some comfort. but once I step out of my home, it's a different world. it's REAL. it's not online. feel me? this online thingy doesn't really cure anything unless you are ONLINE and depressed. I would rather have one person (in real life) who knows the pain and understands what I'm going through than hundreds of random online friends. now u might ask go get one? well, it's not easy and u know it.

once I open up myself, I become that weak, depressed guy. once I let it out, they listen but don't stay. they leave and now I'm the one who got ****ed. they got my secret, weakness but I ain't got none from them. they don't know **** about pain. all freakin spoiled brats.

so what your really pissed about is that they are backstabbing you in real life? over your depression? i still cannot get why people want to hurt people who are depressed? and i think everyone got a secret they are dying to tell

Hi again,
I agree with you that it is better to "have one person (in real life) who knows the pain and understands what I'm going through than hundreds of random online friends." But if you don't have this one person? So, online is good enough for me, not as a substitute but as an alternative when nothing else will confort me elsewhere. Besides, you cannot dismiss the fact that you get a lot of sympathy and real, down to earth advise from people who both know and understand!!!
But, i do not agree with you that "this online thingy doesn't really cure anything unless you are ONLINE and depressed". I believe that YES this on line thingy gradually helps us to understand ourselves, get support and provides a help line when all else does fail.
At the end of the day we are all alone in real life, but we are NOT alone here. I do not know, but it gives me great confort to talk to people here... And I do not feel like a failure at all.. On the contrary, I feel valued and accepted!!!
Which means I must be doing something right!!:)

Just back from vacation, experiencing some lows. After reading this thread I have to tell you all how much respect and gratitude I have for you. For one, I gain the best insight here and most of the time can totally relate to how others are feeling. When I'm away from my computer and out in the street I carry with me knowledge that I received here. And being understood, as it turns out, is very important to me, something I've felt since logging on here. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. Thank you all for providing such a great source of support!!!

Like I said, Dame, I don't feel pathetic for confiding with the people here. They will have an understanding of how I feel better than anyone, really because they are going through the same feelings as I am.

xxhugxx

Hi again,
I agree with you that it is better to "have one person (in real life) who knows the pain and understands what I'm going through than hundreds of random online friends." But if you don't have this one person? So, online is good enough for me, not as a substitute but as an alternative when nothing else will confort me elsewhere. Besides, you cannot dismiss the fact that you get a lot of sympathy and real, down to earth advise from people who both know and understand!!!
But, i do not agree with you that "this online thingy doesn't really cure anything unless you are ONLINE and depressed". I believe that YES this on line thingy gradually helps us to understand ourselves, get support and provides a help line when all else does fail.
At the end of the day we are all alone in real life, but we are NOT alone here. I do not know, but it gives me great confort to talk to people here... And I do not feel like a failure at all.. On the contrary, I feel valued and accepted!!!
Which means I must be doing something right!!:)

I like what you are telling me here. thanks.

Dame:

Therapists can provide you with "schooled" opinions, in most cases.

What we provide is the actual experience; you are hearing things "from the horses mouth" so to speak.

I have been on both sides of the fence and this way seems to provide me with the most comfort.

(As everyone is different,opinions may vary.)

Here I can be myself and not worry about being judged.

I had to search for a group of people who really understood me and I believe I found that here.

When we choose to "log out" it would be the same as leaving the therapists office(but what do you do from there?).

If we leave in a good or bad mood, we still have to deal with ourselves and the outside world.

People will betray our confidences and misunderstand us.......

you know what; it's alright.

Unless one has truly studied or walked in our shoes, I wouldn't or rather shouldn't expect them to fully understand the nature of our psyche.

I come for the advice and support; i stay for the people and the wonderful ambience provided to me by these same people.(my opinion)

Take care.

Ryan

No.
I felt like a loser by going to a therapist, who was a joke. I could have gone to a drug dealer and banged my head on the wall and gotten the same results.

Things you can say to a depressed person...

1. Is there a way I can help you?
2. So what is really upsetting you? (If you mean it, and are GENUINELY concerned about helping the other person. A lot of times depressed people can sense when you are really concerned about them and when you are just saying something to try to get them to feel better. Beleive me there is a BIG difference.)
3. I don't know how to help you, but I'd like to be your friend anyway. (Depressed people may be depressed about not being able to maintain a certain relationship with a person they care about... so NOW is a time when they need a REAL friend more than any other.)

i find this place a haven for me. it has got me thru hard times.
i hope too that you can find comfort on this board.

No, I don't feel like a loser or "pathetic" for coming to these boards and neither should you. Let your internal dialogue be more positive. Calling yourself negative names only impedes your ability to get better. The fact is, most if not all that has been learned by Doctors, Psychs, Psychologists etc...are learned based on the thoughts and experiences of people just like us who have dared to share our feelings, our plights and our stories. How effective would paid therapy be if it were only based on hypothetical knowledge and pre-planned test results? Most people who come here to read, post or ask questions, do it out of a basic need to understand Depression and learning ways to cope with it. There is absolutely nothing pathetic about that pursuit. I've often wondered about the people of 20 + years ago and further, who did not have computers to log on to for help. Who were labeled, sometimes committed into hospitals or worse, took their own lives because no help was available.
So my advice to you is this... Take another look through some of the posts here on this board and realize how truly brave some people are to share what they do. Then read some of the replies from complete strangers and notice how caring, educated and concerned they are. That's what this board provides...a forum where people can be brave, and others can be helpful, and where we ALL should feel welcome :)

Definitely not, this is 2008 not 1998, that stigma may have been there back then, but definitely not now don't you know this is the ******* age? So posting about your depression and getting helpful info anonymously is a good thing.

once I open up myself, I become that weak, depressed guy. once I let it out, they listen but don't stay. they leave and now I'm the one who got ****ed. they got my secret, weakness but I ain't got none from them. they don't know **** about pain. all freakin spoiled brats.

So are you saying that depression is your "secret weakness?"

I post on this board because these people know all about pain. A problem shared is a problem cut in half. I have an excellent friend, a real live person who I could share anything with. He could sympathize with me, and get me out and go for drives, etc. but there was no way he could understand what I was going through. Just like alcholics need other alcholics to talk to because they understand each other and have done and been through the same terrible stuff -- it is the same thing here.

I know how these people are feeling and what they have been through and how debilitating and crushing depression can be because I have been in that black hole or whatever else you want to call it. The first time I posted here I cried so much but felt so much better after. Did it help my depression - I don't know but it helped me want to take care of myself more and went to the doctor and changed my meds, etc. but it all started here with the caring and sharing of these people.

Good Luck.

Treelover.

I had a reputation among my friends for being the strong one, the one who could be there when they had bad stuff going on because i was strong enough to deal with my own stuff. I felt like a loser having to say no, actually, i haven't dealt, i'm not fine, and when my depression symptoms became physical and that became obvious i thought i'd let everyone down. Someone actually came up and told me they'd been self harming because they didn't think they could rely on me any more to help them.
So this was my outlet, and yes i felt like a loser for needing it. It took me a long time to confront the fact that I was perfectly valid in having an illness like this and not being able to deal with it on my own. Yes i wish that i had someone in real life i could talk to about this, but i'd rather post here than tell someone and have them walk away because i'm suddenly not the strong person they think i am.
I know i should take care of myself before others, and i have every right to ask for real life help without being stigmatised. I tried college shrinks, and frankly i prefer it here.