neurowreck
08-21-2007, 12:27 PM
Just some random stuff here- use what you can :)
I had to get out of myself.....a gratitude journal helped a lot. At first it was pretty flimsy- "my socks match"....but in time, and in learning empathy for others- especially those I heard about on the news, it grew to "I'm thankful for a safe place to live", "my bed, as those in some countries sleep in dirt", etc. I made myself come up with 5 things every night- no repeats- and pretty soon it was really easy, and I got some perspective on how my ED had kept me from seeing the rest of the world.
Taking small steps- I always thought that I had to eat 3 times a day from the start. I did quit purging (via tapering of the laxatives) within a week or two (very painful- would recommend even slower taper than that, depending on how long and how many are taken) pretty much at one time- in treatment. But eating was a different story. It took me about 2-3 years to be able to eat with anybody around, and eat an actual meal. I had to do it in very small steps- adding one thing to one meal for a week or two, then adding something else- and I had to add foods that weren't always safe, but still healthy. I initially lost weight by eating more. I later gained some, but it's come off now, on its own, since it's been more stable and consistent.
Going to the park, and watching other people.....of all sizes, and how they seemed to be having fun, and not worrying about what others thought of them....nobody else really cares what we weigh- they like us for what's inside, not the shell.
Understanding that EDs demand total control, or the disorder becomes even more tormenting. I didn't want something that was lying to me, and killing me to have control anymore. Thinking I was in control was a lie.
Just some of the things that helped me. :)
I had to get out of myself.....a gratitude journal helped a lot. At first it was pretty flimsy- "my socks match"....but in time, and in learning empathy for others- especially those I heard about on the news, it grew to "I'm thankful for a safe place to live", "my bed, as those in some countries sleep in dirt", etc. I made myself come up with 5 things every night- no repeats- and pretty soon it was really easy, and I got some perspective on how my ED had kept me from seeing the rest of the world.
Taking small steps- I always thought that I had to eat 3 times a day from the start. I did quit purging (via tapering of the laxatives) within a week or two (very painful- would recommend even slower taper than that, depending on how long and how many are taken) pretty much at one time- in treatment. But eating was a different story. It took me about 2-3 years to be able to eat with anybody around, and eat an actual meal. I had to do it in very small steps- adding one thing to one meal for a week or two, then adding something else- and I had to add foods that weren't always safe, but still healthy. I initially lost weight by eating more. I later gained some, but it's come off now, on its own, since it's been more stable and consistent.
Going to the park, and watching other people.....of all sizes, and how they seemed to be having fun, and not worrying about what others thought of them....nobody else really cares what we weigh- they like us for what's inside, not the shell.
Understanding that EDs demand total control, or the disorder becomes even more tormenting. I didn't want something that was lying to me, and killing me to have control anymore. Thinking I was in control was a lie.
Just some of the things that helped me. :)