(I know this is a caregiver board, but being a fellow border collie owner, I wanted to tell you. It also leads to Mom, so it's appropriate too I guess.)

Casey, our dog, had been on antibiotics for bleeding from places she shouldn't be. It hadn't improved in a week, so I called the vet back. He squeezed her in into his FULL surgery schedule on Monday the 13th. While pacing in the waiting room, I saw my husband pull up. I don't know how he got there (he had been working HOURS away), but I'm glad he did. The vet came out with that look on his face. He said the tumors were too big, too much damage, so he just closed her back up. I was a basket case. We held her while she died. I laid nose to nose with her on the floor, petting her head and talking to her the whole time, and then some. I put her in my car and brought her home wrapped in her favorite blanket. Hubby went and got the kids so they could say good bye. We buried her on her bed, with her blanket, 2 rawhides (the girls gave them to her) and her 2 all time favorite toys---her frisbee and her basketball. She actually had that basket ball since she was a little puppy. She loved it! Even though it's over a week later, I still stand outside by her and cry or talk to her. Some people must think I'm nuts, but I don't care. She was our first baby before the kids came along. She will be missed. There will never be another dog like her.

That brings me to my Mom. Everyone compared her to Casey...how they were both not eating, both losing weight and other similarities. Well, Mom's worse than ever. I realize she may hang on like this for a while, but we're all expecting something to happen within the next 2 wks or so.


OK>>>I just got booted again AFTER writing pages about Mom/Dad etc etc. Now i"m jsut exhausted and can't retype it again!

THe quick version is this.....Dad called today, needs help getting Mom in/out of bed. SHe's lost most use of her left hand. Doesn't want any help from anyone other than family. I'm BEAT....spent all day there.going back later at bedtime and again in a.m. to get her up....I'm just tired. Back to work next week, tough on kids, dragging them over there, no other choice etc etc.........Thanks for listening. I'll try to retype it all tomorrow if I get time........

----mmmcoffee

MMMMCoffee---
My heart aches for you for the loss of your beloved border collie....we too have one and they are more human than many humans. I can't bear the thought that one day we'll lose our pup......they are. w/o question, the BEST BREED OF DOGS in the world.
As for your poor mom, no, it does not sound good. Just slowly things are shutting down. All you can do if she is so resistant is to make her as comfortable as possible, and I know you are doing that. The loss of use her left hand probably means she is "pulling in"..meaning the body begins to conserve strength for only the most basic of functions, breathing, heart beating, other systems are shutting down. Are her feet and hands icy cold? Circulation will dimisnish in the extremities. (Not trying to scare--just telling you) She will not be able to feel her feet so walking will be difficult. You might eant to conatct a Hospice co for aid in dealing with this final stage...it is hard and you'll want to make this as comfortable and non-traumatic on everyone as possible. Is she in pain? We had daddy & my FIL on morphine th last few weeks & they were much more comfortable.
I'm so sorry, for what you;re going through, and what you've already suffered.
Liz

Liz--
Thanks for the note. A Mom update---This morning Dad called me, again needing help. The girls and I were already ready to leave to go over there. Somehow he had convinced Mom to go see the Dr. It ends up she had a mild stroke which caused the loss of use of her left arm. She needs daily help now. I'm sure it's to the level of which hospice or home health would be a help--but again, they aren't ready to accept help from anyone other than family yet. My Dad can handle it at night--getting her dressed and putting her to bed etc....and I will go over in the mornings, get her up dressed, and give her breakfast. Once the kids go back to school, I will probably spend alot of time there. I will (like I did last night) take the night shift sometimes so that Dad can get a easy night's sleep without constantly waking up. Between he and I, for now at least, it's okay. I know there will be a point at which we NEED outside help. Mom knows that too. But for now, we'll just keep doing what we're doing. It's just been a real draining day. We went over early, I ran the kids to daycare, went back to Mom's, took them to her appt, home again, then got the kids, made dinner etc etc.......Tomorrow is my hubby's b-day, so after getting Mom up, it's home to make a cake, everyone's coming over after dinner for cake etc. I'm just tired and glad to finally have a QUIET RELAXING night at home. I'll be in bed early I'm sure!

Thank you again for your response. I did sit outside by Casey :angel: under the pine trees for a while today. It was actually calming. She still makes me feel better when I need her to. :)

Have a great night. Thanks again.

---mmmcoffee

Wow--I am glad your mom consented to see a doc--that is a big step for her. Sounds like she is aware that she is going to have to make some decisions, or at least you dad will. Constant, relentless caregiving is so exhausting. Not surprised about the news of a stroke, either, but I am sorry as it will make moving her more difficult. I;d call a couple of hospice places and get some info before the fact...a lot of them just provide palliatiev care, meaning, they just give comfort and peace, doing nothing out of the ordinary to prolong life. It is actually a very peaceful thing.
Wishing you peace & calm---I know you will ahve a few tough weeks ahead of you.
Liz