My sister has a history of eating disorders, mild anorexia, bulemia, past diet pill abuse. She has never needed hospitalization, and she had been more under control while she had been living down south with her boyfriend. Now they are moving back in a week. She is worried that she has gained too much weight. She has a naturally large frame and is very busty AND toned due to exercise and weight training...so [what she weighs] is healthy, which I assured her.
She started talking alot about how she wanted to eat healthier with her bf when they move back north. They had been following a real crappy diet, fried foods, take-out. And obviously, I support working towards a healthier lifestyle for anybody. She also wants to get back into distance running...not marathons or anything, but a significant running regimen.
This all seemed great and healthy. Then a few days ago my mom told me she called and had just finished reading that book, "Skinny *****," and is thinking of going strictly vegan, saying she had only been eating meat to compromise cooking meals with her boyfriend. And she also told my mom that she only saw the psychologist she had started seeing down there a few times, then decided she didn't like her and stopped going.
[removed] I know that following a strict vegan diet and getting all your nutrients can be challenging. She was having difficulty doing this when she was following an ovo-lacto vegetarian diet with occasional fish consumption! I support anyone who chooses a vegan lifestyle, but I'm just worried that a restrictive diet is not necessarily a healthy choice for someone with an eating disorder. Also, I'm concerned about her abandoning her counseling. Are these legitimate concerns, or am I being ridiculous? The point is, she is fit and seems to be focusing not on her health, but a distorted perception of self. Is it more sensible for someone with eating disorders to follow an eating plan that is focused on being nutritious and health enhancing, rather than one that is focused on losing weight? [removed] It's not so much the vegan diet itself, as it is that she has gotten the idea in her head based on reading "Skinny *****", that has me concerned. Also I would be less worried about a vegan diet if she wasn't so in to vigorous exercise...I mean, a vegan who does only gentle to moderate exercises may be able to get by just taking a multi and b-vitamin supplement...:confused:
Any advice for a concerned older sister who loves her little sister to pieces?

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Hi,

You're a great sister! Just MHO, if she's out on her own and an adult, there's not too much you can do, except have a caring talk with her about your concern for her.
If she's chosing to go vegetarian and exercise that much, sounds like ED behavior to me. You can support her and encourage counseling, assure her you're there for her, but her recoveryhas to come from her.

Maybe others here can add to this.

Keep your focus on yourself, though, not her. Maintaining some distance is important for you - try some NAMI meetings for yourself.

She's lucky to have you!

Hiya!

Firstly, its great to hear how supportive of your sister you are. Have you spoken to her about any of this? I know it can be a sensitive subject, but if you raise your concerns in the right way (i.e. making sure it doesnt sound like an attack/judgement) then I'm sure she would be willing to discuss it.

I am a vegan, and have been for over a year. I decided to do it for personal ethical reasons.... but I've heard about this book 'Skinny B**ch' and apparently it is very triggering for eating disorders. It is totally about the weight so I'm assuming her reasons for wanting to go vegan are because she thinks she can lose weight that way. You can have a perfectly well balanced and healthy vegan diet, but she should probably think about why she is really doing this, and if it is healthy for her. She should consult her doctor before making any major changes in her diet, and I think that goes for everyone - ED of not.

I hope that everything works out ok for you both,

Take care.

Chickpea :)

Victoria Beckham is reading that book, which isn't exactly a healthy endorsement..... Obviously, your sister has brought this up with you for a reason. She must feel like something is 'off', or she'd not be concerned about any of this. People without EDs don't spend their days thinking they're fat all the time, or about how to get out of eating entire food groups.

About being vegan- yeah, she can get enough protein and good fats on a vegan diet, but a lot of people with EDs use it to eliminate whole food groups instead of actually following it for health.

All you can do is express your concern, show support for recovery, and not get sucked into being an enabler, which a lot of EDs do without realizing it, then wonder where all their friends/family went after they wore them all out.
Be sure to set your own boundaries with what you will and won't talk to her about, since EDs need professional help, if that's where she's at.... :)