seaturtle
08-23-2007, 11:06 PM
Hi, everyone,
I've a question about a T I've been seeing for about a year. She's an ED specialist, also deals w/OCD.
I've actually lost weight, and am distressed. The most help I get is from medications. Well, the last time I saw her she talked about "self-soothing" and how she wants to re-parent me and have me depend on her for "unconditional love", then learn to internalize that.
I am old enough to be her mother, yikes.
Then she went on about having me call her message machine "just to hear her voice to be reassured she was there." And offered to give me a picture of herself to take home to look at when I feel bad.
This all seems nuts to me. Is it just me - have others been through this kind of thing, and I am just not seeing something here?
Thanks for the responses. As I write it, it all seems a bit absurd.
Seaturtle
I've a question about a T I've been seeing for about a year. She's an ED specialist, also deals w/OCD.
I've actually lost weight, and am distressed. The most help I get is from medications. Well, the last time I saw her she talked about "self-soothing" and how she wants to re-parent me and have me depend on her for "unconditional love", then learn to internalize that.
I am old enough to be her mother, yikes.
Then she went on about having me call her message machine "just to hear her voice to be reassured she was there." And offered to give me a picture of herself to take home to look at when I feel bad.
This all seems nuts to me. Is it just me - have others been through this kind of thing, and I am just not seeing something here?
Thanks for the responses. As I write it, it all seems a bit absurd.
Seaturtle
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purplegirl1
08-24-2007, 01:13 AM
SeaTurtle -
Oh gosh... It is not you!!! She sounds like she needs the therapy....lol
I think you need a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for the OCD... some therapists work with diff. theories.. and it sounds like she is using the wrong one!!! Is she a Social Worker or Psychologist?
Oh gosh... It is not you!!! She sounds like she needs the therapy....lol
I think you need a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for the OCD... some therapists work with diff. theories.. and it sounds like she is using the wrong one!!! Is she a Social Worker or Psychologist?
seaturtle
08-24-2007, 02:32 AM
Hi, purplegirl,
Thank you. She is a PsyD, actually. I think her theory is that people with trauma issues and eating disorders and everything else missed a developmental stage when kids learn to trust (this is what she told me), and that once the ability to trust is learned, recovery happens.
Hmmmmm.
She's very nice, and I am sure she means only the best, but I think you're right. It's hard to get away from her; I've talked about leaving, but she always interprets that as "resistance." Sigh.
I'll see her tomorrow and try again.
How are you doing? Let me know.
Seaturtle
Thank you. She is a PsyD, actually. I think her theory is that people with trauma issues and eating disorders and everything else missed a developmental stage when kids learn to trust (this is what she told me), and that once the ability to trust is learned, recovery happens.
Hmmmmm.
She's very nice, and I am sure she means only the best, but I think you're right. It's hard to get away from her; I've talked about leaving, but she always interprets that as "resistance." Sigh.
I'll see her tomorrow and try again.
How are you doing? Let me know.
Seaturtle
mandcmv
08-24-2007, 12:48 PM
seaturtle.
Sounds odd to me, and I'm pretty open minded. This type of therapy may work for some but from reading your posts and understanding a little bit about where you're coming from, I don't see this type being right thing.
But it may be. Always good to give it a few chances. Also, in the past I have seen a few therapists that "just didn't feel right." Simple as that, can't explain. I gave them a few appts and moved on until I found someone I was comfortable with.
Being comfortable and having confidence in your therapist is everything.
Best wishes and keep us posted.
M
Sounds odd to me, and I'm pretty open minded. This type of therapy may work for some but from reading your posts and understanding a little bit about where you're coming from, I don't see this type being right thing.
But it may be. Always good to give it a few chances. Also, in the past I have seen a few therapists that "just didn't feel right." Simple as that, can't explain. I gave them a few appts and moved on until I found someone I was comfortable with.
Being comfortable and having confidence in your therapist is everything.
Best wishes and keep us posted.
M
seriousperson
08-25-2007, 01:29 AM
I agree with everything mandcmv said.
I had a therapist for about a year who I never felt quite right with. When my employer changed health insurance companies and she was no longer "in network," I was kind of relieved to have an excuse to get a new therapist.
The one I've had for the past two years has some issues too (he has narcolepsy), but at least he's not out on some hippy-type therapy about inner child and all that.
seaturtle, Maybe ask yourself whether you really want to get away from this therapist.
I had a therapist for about a year who I never felt quite right with. When my employer changed health insurance companies and she was no longer "in network," I was kind of relieved to have an excuse to get a new therapist.
The one I've had for the past two years has some issues too (he has narcolepsy), but at least he's not out on some hippy-type therapy about inner child and all that.
seaturtle, Maybe ask yourself whether you really want to get away from this therapist.
seaturtle
08-25-2007, 03:16 AM
Well thanks, all of you. I did go to my appt. today and brought it up, was very straight w/her. She said that she struggles with her own attatchment issues when she sees someone long-term, and then told me she thinks of her therapy as a kind of spiritual mission, in which she nurtures people and then lets them go "into the universe", just like her kids.
At least she was willing to listen to my discomfort. She is very crunchy-granola; I decided to go for maybe a month more and see if we can fix things. Otherwise, I will surely move on.
I hope everyone is doing all right -- and watch out for that incense in T's offices.
Seaturtle
At least she was willing to listen to my discomfort. She is very crunchy-granola; I decided to go for maybe a month more and see if we can fix things. Otherwise, I will surely move on.
I hope everyone is doing all right -- and watch out for that incense in T's offices.
Seaturtle
Nexis
09-18-2007, 06:44 AM
If you have been in therapy for a year and you know things are not improving, and she said you are "resisting", get another therapist. People stay years and therapy an never get well because of circumstances similar to yours....
You should be improving after a few sessions or after a few months progressively with few plateaus, yet not doubts about your relationship with our therapist....
Also write down all the things you want to work through, such as improving so and so...
Also therapy is not going to help with every aspect of your life complications. Make sure what you want to resolve in therapy is psychologically related and not something legal, financial or career....
I think you need someone more logical and straightheaded - she sounds too mushy and not actually applying therapy to help with your OCD...
You should be improving after a few sessions or after a few months progressively with few plateaus, yet not doubts about your relationship with our therapist....
Also write down all the things you want to work through, such as improving so and so...
Also therapy is not going to help with every aspect of your life complications. Make sure what you want to resolve in therapy is psychologically related and not something legal, financial or career....
I think you need someone more logical and straightheaded - she sounds too mushy and not actually applying therapy to help with your OCD...
seaturtle
09-19-2007, 10:51 PM
Thanks, everyone! Your posts have helped me a lot!
I've decided to give it until Christmas with her. In many ways, she's good, and I know I tend to dismiss people without knowing exactly where they're coming from.
There are no other decent therapists around who specialize in EDs and can deal with the other disorders I have (despite this all, I am quite able to be a responsible, intelligent, functioning person, lol). And I've had some looney therapists: one of them used to call and email at 2 a.m saying he was lonely because his wife, a doctor, was delivering a baby...and he wanted me to read Edgar Casey and called him my Shaman.
Another one said he was the Virgil (sp?) to my Dante.
Good lord!
Seaturtle
I've decided to give it until Christmas with her. In many ways, she's good, and I know I tend to dismiss people without knowing exactly where they're coming from.
There are no other decent therapists around who specialize in EDs and can deal with the other disorders I have (despite this all, I am quite able to be a responsible, intelligent, functioning person, lol). And I've had some looney therapists: one of them used to call and email at 2 a.m saying he was lonely because his wife, a doctor, was delivering a baby...and he wanted me to read Edgar Casey and called him my Shaman.
Another one said he was the Virgil (sp?) to my Dante.
Good lord!
Seaturtle
Nexis
09-19-2007, 11:46 PM
I think you could publish a book or be on National TV with your experiences with therapists! I have my own stories as well yet yours beats the cocktail party stories!
Please be careful, afterall they are human too and may have unresolved issues they may project on to their patients... Sounds like maybe you could use a coach for the time being until you find a therapist you feel comfortable with...
Be safe and best wishes...
Please be careful, afterall they are human too and may have unresolved issues they may project on to their patients... Sounds like maybe you could use a coach for the time being until you find a therapist you feel comfortable with...
Be safe and best wishes...
dannic1
09-20-2007, 11:38 PM
Seaturtle-
I agree that if your therapist doesn't "feel right," to stop seeing her. I guess from a Christian point of view, I see it as God giving us a spirit of discernment between what is right and what isn't right. As a Christian, I would personally pray about the situation for guidance. My first therapist, I feel, was horrible. She charged way too much ($200/50 mins.) and had me coming in for individual therapy, group threapy and biofeedback. It was financially draining me and she never did believe that I had OCD. I went to an OCD specialist who took on my symptoms (and those of his other patients, as he explained to me!) and seemed to be a little bit OCD himself! He also reminded me SO much of my father, who I love, but who I don't want to be in therapy with! I quit him right away. Then I started going to another therapist who was a warm and kind individual. She sincerely thought she could help me with my OCD with the biofeedback. After awhile, I really didn't feel that the talk therapy or the biofeedback were helping with the intrusive thoughts and compulsions. She was out-of-network and getting to be expensive (didn't file ins. - $95 a pop out of my pocket) to see. I had to file for all of my own reimbursements. Anyway, I've switched to another therapist who is in network and who does file insurance. I've only seen her once, as she's been out of town. I go back on October 1st. I don't think she's 100% sure that I have OCD, but I feel like she's going to try her best to help me out. I think she feels that the "label" isn't important - just that I'm going through some sort of anxiety issue right now. I truly feel that it is a chemical imbalance in our brains, because why else would our brains get stuck on things that we don't care to think about 24/7? Anyway, we'll see how things go. I'm going to give her a chance. I honestly have probably only met one mental health professional that I really felt knew how to treat me and he is in New York. I would have to do phone consultations, though, with him. He's treated people with my symptoms before and seemed so confident that he could help me. Anyway, my faith in God sustains me. This too shall pass.
Blessings,
danni
I agree that if your therapist doesn't "feel right," to stop seeing her. I guess from a Christian point of view, I see it as God giving us a spirit of discernment between what is right and what isn't right. As a Christian, I would personally pray about the situation for guidance. My first therapist, I feel, was horrible. She charged way too much ($200/50 mins.) and had me coming in for individual therapy, group threapy and biofeedback. It was financially draining me and she never did believe that I had OCD. I went to an OCD specialist who took on my symptoms (and those of his other patients, as he explained to me!) and seemed to be a little bit OCD himself! He also reminded me SO much of my father, who I love, but who I don't want to be in therapy with! I quit him right away. Then I started going to another therapist who was a warm and kind individual. She sincerely thought she could help me with my OCD with the biofeedback. After awhile, I really didn't feel that the talk therapy or the biofeedback were helping with the intrusive thoughts and compulsions. She was out-of-network and getting to be expensive (didn't file ins. - $95 a pop out of my pocket) to see. I had to file for all of my own reimbursements. Anyway, I've switched to another therapist who is in network and who does file insurance. I've only seen her once, as she's been out of town. I go back on October 1st. I don't think she's 100% sure that I have OCD, but I feel like she's going to try her best to help me out. I think she feels that the "label" isn't important - just that I'm going through some sort of anxiety issue right now. I truly feel that it is a chemical imbalance in our brains, because why else would our brains get stuck on things that we don't care to think about 24/7? Anyway, we'll see how things go. I'm going to give her a chance. I honestly have probably only met one mental health professional that I really felt knew how to treat me and he is in New York. I would have to do phone consultations, though, with him. He's treated people with my symptoms before and seemed so confident that he could help me. Anyway, my faith in God sustains me. This too shall pass.
Blessings,
danni