Anyone else have this problem? I know I should stay calm when my kids are being defiant, but instead I start yelling and I'm tired of it. My 11yo son is bipolar and I think if I just stayed calm, he would maybe calm down,but I get so mad when he purposely annoys everyone or disobeys and sometimes laughs about it. I know yelling just escalates the problem. I try just to tell him to go to his room, but he won't, then I start yelling. Any suggestions on keeping my cool besides breathing and counting.

Hi Mama, sorry about your struggles. Yeah, screaming does not help. One thing that I have learned as a parent is that spending positive time with them goes a very long way! Keep us posted.

Good advice...sounds like they need attention..........good attention.......and praise!!!

The thing is that they get lots of attention. I don't work and am with them all day. I'm getting better, I just lose it sometime.

Try this for one day. make a pact with yourself that you are not going to rasie your voice all day. Not even once!! See what a difference it makes.

My one bp child is on Risperdal and another med. I do take antidepressants.

tiredmomma3, boy can i relate, maybe i can make you feel better, i have five boys, one who is adhd and possibly Bipolar and a set of twins within this five one who is true Bipolar and the other twin with adhd combined type with a mood disorder, and all of them have sleep issue, okay breathe, it is hard I know, and you maybe need a vacation, i'm booking us a flight to a nice Bahamas get away retreat! Yeah don't i wish! I don't know how i do it ! Everyone always asks how and i say i don't know i just do i guess because it's our kids! I read somewhere in a book or magazine, although they yelling isn't good it's not neccessarily that bad, and i have a poor memory and wished i would have kept the article for future reference. My kids don't seem to hear unless theres yelling and it can be very aggrivating. Have you tried therapy for the kids or yourself? Maybe with just a little help it can stop, and i know you feel bad, but if you can't get help then you can't stop, not that you need help. There is also a book called 123 it is a good book on yelling and also about coping strageties that will help you not to yell and make you have more patience i think, becuae i have used it on my 14 year old twins and it does work to a degree, I'm here for you i keep up with all of my posts so if you can't find me here, i'm somewhere!
Love, Monkey

thats great advice mate.

tiredmomma3, boy can i relate, maybe i can make you feel better, i have five boys, one who is adhd and possibly Bipolar and a set of twins within this five one who is true Bipolar and the other twin with adhd combined type with a mood disorder, and all of them have sleep issue, okay breathe, it is hard I know, and you maybe need a vacation, i'm booking us a flight to a nice Bahamas get away retreat! Yeah don't i wish! I don't know how i do it ! Everyone always asks how and i say i don't know i just do i guess because it's our kids! I read somewhere in a book or magazine, although they yelling isn't good it's not neccessarily that bad, and i have a poor memory and wished i would have kept the article for future reference. My kids don't seem to hear unless theres yelling and it can be very aggrivating. Have you tried therapy for the kids or yourself? Maybe with just a little help it can stop, and i know you feel bad, but if you can't get help then you can't stop, not that you need help. There is also a book called 123 it is a good book on yelling and also about coping strageties that will help you not to yell and make you have more patience i think, becuae i have used it on my 14 year old twins and it does work to a degree, I'm here for you i keep up with all of my posts so if you can't find me here, i'm somewhere!
Love, Monkey


Thanks so much. I DONT know how you do with with that many kids. I go nuts with one bp child and the other one copying his behaviors. He does go to therapy and we've been working on his stopping, breathing, counting when he gets angry. Hasn't been working, but I have to remember to do that too. I tried therapy and I come out feeling worse after talking about things. I may try it again in the future, I don't know. As far as the 123 thing. Well, I tried it, for quite awhile and it worked for awhile with my other son, but the bp one, just stays where he is and keeps doing what he's doing like I'm not even talking to him. When he is on the right meds, the charts and rewards help, but if the meds aren't working, nothing works.

I tried therapy and I come out feeling worse after talking about things.

This is a clue that there are issues that need to be dealt with.