hey. i'm new to the board. and i think i have bulimia nervosa. ..anyone else?

Oh, yes.

Would you like to write a bit about yourself, so people can respond to you?
Good that you are reaching our for some help.

Hope to hear more from you, welome hee.

Welcome :)

It would be good to know more about you :) How long have you been doing behaviors that you feel are bulimic? How old are you? Are you getting help?
Even if you just think you may have a problem, it would be really good to talk to someone about it, so you can deal with the issues behind it- it's never about food or weight- it might appear to be, but those are too superficial to be worth dying for.

thanks to you both. um..well lets see, im 20, I'm not sure how long its been going on with me it started out small like I would just check the nutrition facts of everything and i used to eat then it just got more and more worse. I started constantly checking and then eventually it led up to constant exercising, and now I'm binging and perging. I cant stop. i have to force myself to eat its just not a priority to me. and when i do eat its like whacky foods, baby food. I'm not getting help it sounds strange but I dont feel sick, i feel good like that i have the weight off. i dont look at it as "sick". Im not dying atleast i dont think i am. I realized today that I am in fact suffering though from an eating disorder. I had a doctors appointment today which i thought was just a follow up from a previous visit but as it turns out my ant actually backstabbed me and called "concerned" it was so humiliating. my family puts alot of pressure on me, im sick and they make fun of my eating habits and just make fun of me. and her betraying me made me perge.it is about being skinny, but its also other things. when you have an eating disorder and people draw attention to it it makes it so much worse. anyways, i found out that i lost [weight] since my visit 2 wks before [removed], my white blood cells are low, no period and i dont know, im kinda scared. my veins are popping out, bones are showing and none of my clothes fit me at all. The doctor suggested anorexia but im pretty sure its bulimia nervosa. i totally denied the eating disorder to her. I have every symptom if not some new ones. thats pretty much the gist. what about you both?? id like to know about you as well.

Please call your attention to the sticky post at the top of this Board: "Avoiding Triggers".

Hi. I am sorry to hear that your family are making fun of your eating habits and not helping you at all. Thats tough but your aunt generally does seem concerned about you. You may feel betrayed but it sounds like she cares and wants you to get help. As for denying the eating disorder to your dr ...I know you are ashamed and embarassed by it and want to be in denial of it all. I tried hiding mine from all my friends and family and HATED the constant questions and looks. I just wanted to be left alone and would hide my body anyway I could. I would also make up various excuses and wanted them all to believe I had some other disease..anything but an ED. My suggestion is to please be honest with your dr. She is there to help you and with any luck has knowledge of eating disorders. You may not "feel" sick but obviously you are (no period, low blood cells, etc). Trust me you are doing damage to your body that you might not visibily be able to see just yet. As for the bulging veins, clothes not fitting, bones showing..yeah it'll get worse if you continue and more disgusting. There really needs to be more information available about all the nasty things that happen. Please talk to your dr and maybe she can recommend a support group/therapist/nutritionist for you. Always remember that you are NOT alone. Please take care of yourself .
<hugs>

Hi,

Thanks for letting us know more about you. I ditto the above response: it is really ncecessary that you receive medical care. The blood count, the veins, these are signs that your body is breaking down. It is a health issue now for you.

Often, It hink we take offense at the things people do and say to us about our EDs. We cannot see outselves as they do; we lack the ability to perceive ourselves as we really are. That's the mantal part of the illness.

I agree that your aunt was trying to help you as best she could...and actually, it is a good thing she did. It might even save your life.

Wanting to be left alone is also part of the disorder. But you will get sicker and sicker, and perhaps land in a hospital. I have know women who died form anorexia and bulimia, and it's not a pretty death.

Can you put everything else aside and seek help? An inpatient stay might help you a lot, since you are physically in bad shape.

When the Ed is bad, we have to face the fact that we cannot control it. Temporarily, we have to give over our ideas of control to someone else, and that is doctors and therapists. I know it's a tough call.

Please do continue to seek support here for getting yourself the help you need. The professional are there to help you, though it may seem as if everyone really wants to attack your ED and take it away from you. We've all been there.

Let me know hat I can do to help. YOu asked about us: I have had anorexia for almost all my life, and I 60 now. I have suffered incredibly. I still am going to treatment in the hopes of getting a bit better - for me, at this point, there is no recovery, just what they call "harm reduction" and as good a lifestyle as I can attain.
Catch the disorder now, while you still can.

All this may not make any difference to you, and I will fully understand that, too. Not much makes sense about or to an ED.

My heart goes out to you. Have compassion for yourself and treat yourself gently. You are quite ill.

EDs cause us to see us as very different from what is real. It also releases endorphins, so we feel better than we really are. You need help.

I'm sorry your family makes fun of your eating,but maybe it's the only way they think you will listen. I now I hated when people made fun of me, but I thought about what they said- a lot, even if I was mad. It made an impression. I had my entire supervisory staff do a formal intervention, take me to my apartment in the company van, and then to the airport with prepaid tickets to a treatment center.... felt very betrayed, but in some ways also relieved that I didn't have to try and hide what everyone else saw anyway. I was the last to be aware of my own condition..... sound familiar?

As a co-worker used to ask me...."what good is a skinny corpse?"