Hi Everyone,
I know I'm usually all upbeat and fighting etc., but the last few weeks and especially last week was a tough one.
I don't know if it's the Alimta I'm on now or what, but I've felt like doodoo since I started it, and I just had the 2nd treatment last Thursday. I got a cold after the 1st one and threw my ribcage all out of whack so lots of pain there. Cold got better, but here it is after the 2nd treatment (3 weeks apart) and I feel pukey all the time and still dealing with rib pain.
Then last Wednesday the neuro-onc called to say the radiologist report from 8/15 came in and they think I have a couple of brain mets. Need to do another MRI and maybe a spinal tap. (NOT!) ANyone else get a spinal tap for brain mets???? Never heard of that yet. Then after I had chemo on Thursday, I get home, get all comfy and the thoracic onc calls to tell me the CEA marker is up again (quite a bit). ARGH!!!!!!! ANd they need to schedule a ct scan.
So I had a meltdown on Saturday when my friend from church came by to talk. (She's clear of terminal liver cancer and hepatitis C! Praise God.) SHe called the Pastor and he came over too and prayed with me. What a blessing they are to me!
I guess I'm just getting tired of always hearing docs give me bad news.
So It isn't like it's HORRIBLE news, but when you feel physically like poo, it just seems worse I guess.
And to top it all off, If my onc even one more time, gets all out of shape when I say something about God and healing, I'm going to slap him! Tell me all the cancer facts you want, but DO NOT mock my Lord and Savior!!! And one day the onc is going to fall off his chair, when I am healed!!!
So thanks for reading, I just was bored and wanted to write a little.
My prayers are with you.
Be Blessed.
Faith
P.S. I got baptised yesterday too! It was great!)

as my husband used to say....

"And the hits just keep on comin'!"

I am so sorry Faith....you certainly deserve some good news! I just wanted you to know I will be thinking of you and sending oodles of prayers your way!!! I hope this week goes better for you and you start feeling better...

will your body adjust to the Alimta and not hit as bad after a while or is this just how it is??

again..I am sorry...

congrats? on the baptism...at least that was one positive note!

Snoopy!!!!!
It's so nice to see a familiar face! HOw are you doing kiddo? I hope you are well and somehow managing to get through those unexpected times that pop out at you and the tears come again.
I think of you and Kim and Conan often. But know it's painful to hang around here.
I'm not sure on this alimta. I'm hoping it's just something to get used to like the first stuff. The 1st 3 treatments of those weren't fun either. But for some really weird bizarre reason, I think hornets are attraced to it! Ever since Thursday when I had treatment, they won't stay away from me!!! I even got bit for the 2nd time in my life! Didn't kill him though....I thought the alimta might knock his little head off!!!! LOL! I'm getting scared to go outside!
I am so happy you stopped by. I feel better already!
Many Blessings to you, Snoopy.
Faith:)

Oh Faith, sorry your past few weeks have been pooey. Maybe just a minor set-back due to your new treatments. Of course the lousy cold you had couldn't have hit you at a worse time. I hope you get over this hurdle and back to yourself. Your human, we all have our ups and downs and this is a "down" time for you, they never last long. Go with the doo-doo flow, you will come out the other side stronger than ever.

My Mom had many large brain mets and she did not have a spinal tap. I believe a spinal tap can show if there is an infection, tumor or hemorage around the brain and spinal cord. Alimta can lower blood cells that help your body fight infections and make it easier for you to bleed from an injury ie: your rib pain. I don't think a normal blood test would show what is going on in the brain area.

It's so good to hear you have good friends who come by to talk as well the Pastor. You have a right to be tired with all you are being put through at this time, you can't always be "up" even though you want to be, please don't feel you are losing or being let down- what your fighting and it's treatment effects change day by day.

Perhaps when you see your insensitive oncologist person you would be in your right to say "I feel you are mocking of my faith & I resent that. Your job is cancer, my job is having faith"- don't beat him up you might hurt yourself-ha. I am happy you were pleased with your baptism.

Keep us posted Faith.

Faith,

I am so very sorry for your news. You are such an amazing lady. I am praying for you daily.

My father has taken a turn for the worse, it has been a very rough few weeks for him too.


Michelle

I'm so sorry to hear about your difficult week. Hope things are brighter for you this week - keep your chin up hon - some days are more difficult then others, but you'll make it through okay (you'll see):)
Still thinking of you - although I'm not around as much anymore, sometimes it's too tough to come here
Jeanie

Faith,

I am so very sorry for your news. You are such an amazing lady. I am praying for you daily.

My father has taken a turn for the worse, it has been a very rough few weeks for him too.


Michelle

Hi Michelle
Thank you for the prayers, I like to pray for everyone when I come on here.
We all have to fight this together and we can win. That is my goal.
Hope your dad is doing better, Michelle.
Faith

Thank You ebrena and Jeanie,
I am totally expecting good news at the next brain MRI and full torso ct scan, although I am NOT looking forward to that chalky nasty barium sulfate at 8 in the morning! YUK!
I really don't like this alimta though, so my doc and I have some serious conversation coming up about this! If it's going to make me feel worse, than what is the point??? Unless it has worked some wonder of science, which is highly unlikely. ALl it's done so far is cause a dry throat and because of that cough, no appetite and bloat, and possibly even a bladder problem.
Do they have any clue as to what they are doing??? I wonder.
But I'm doing better and will let you all know how I make out with the next set of tests. Wont know till the 17th and 20th though. Untill then....I'm going to be playing and enjoying and living! God is good!
Be Blessed. Be Well.
Faith

Faith - How are you doing. I hope all is going well. How did your test results go.

I am praying for you. You can kick this thing into submission.

Best Wishes.

Faith,

How are you doing? I did read your post but because of how I was feeling I just could not respond to it at that time. It is never fun to get bad news but with my mom we did learn that the journey does come with ups and downs so I do hope you are able to hang in there and deal with what ever comes. I know I am pulling for you.;) I am so sorry the Alimta has been so rough for you.Shows you how different we all are as for my mom it was the easiest chemo and allowed her to live a normal life unlike the other chemos that left her so wiped out.


I read your post then decided I needed time away from the sad news I too often see here so have not been on for awhile.One of my coworkers who I have worked with for the past 22-23 yrs lost her beautiful 19 yr old daughter to cystic fibrosis. That poor sweet girl spent a few weeks in the ICU at UCLA on life support fighting for her life and when it was too obvious that she was going to die even on the life support her parents took her off and let her die in peace with her younger sister in bed with her. Her death at such a young age after her being so full of life the past 19 yrs was very hard on all of us that know her mom and her. She grew up knowing she would probably have a short life but never expected it to be this short but because she knew she crammed a whole lot of living and loving into that short life. A remarkable girl.
When people on this board say Lung cancer is the worst disease I always think No there are plenty of others right there with it and CF is just one of them.

If dealing with the above was not hard enough my dad had to have his big old loveable dog, Henry put to sleep. Henry never took his eyes off my mom after she got sick and a few months after she got sick he developed Lupus. I think the stress her illness caused him may have been responsible for the lupus.He grieved her death big time, yes dogs do grieve.I can only pray that he is now at peace having once again found my mom.

When I came on tonight I was hoping to see a more recent post from you as I am concerned about you. You like Ellen Grace have touched me as unlike so many of us you are the ones with the cancer and it is interesting to hear that point of view and not just a caretakers point of view.You are so brave and offer such wonderful support to everyone and to be able to do it all during your own battle I think is very inspirational. Just know I am praying hard for you. I pray that God gets you over what ever hurdle may now be placed in front of you.Remember you are never alone as so many people here are right there with you in spirit. Take care Faith and let us know what the doctors say. Hugs, Janmarie

Hi EdwardB
Thank you for the encouragement. I am trying my best to not only beat this thing into submission, but cast it out into space where it can't hurt anyone else! LOL!
I can't say the test results were too good. I had sure hoped for better. The chemo isn't working so the tumors are growing, I have new lesions on my spine, and the brains MRI is tomorrow! Maybe one 1 of 3 will be good news!
But we'll see about a new chemo on Thursday and I have to make an appt with the radiation oncologist to see if they can zap these or not. If not, maybe a drug like zometa will be used.
All up in the air right now.
But I feel good, and my faith in the Lord is stronger than ever. I am so blessed.
I can't remember everyone here. Are you (hopefully not) a patient or caregiver of a patient with LC?
Be Blessed
Faith

Hi Janmarie
Yes cancer is not the only thing that is hard to deal with as far as diseases go. So many are heartbreaking that is for sure.
I'm sorry you've had such a lot of bad going on lately. IT's never easy to deal with and everyone needs time to assimilate it all.
I would've had recent posts if I hadn't hve been admitted to the hospital unexpectedly. THe dr told me to go to the ER as I needed to get an MRI because I was having bad pain in my rib/back are and she was afraid the spine lesions might compomise the spinal cord. When I got there I had a fever of 102F and they thought I had pneumonia. As I wrote to Snoopy, my whole church was praying for me while I was being seen in the ER and by the next morning, no fever, no pneumonia or infection. THe pain was 80% better too. So once I got the MRI and the spinal cord was AOK and the pain was under control they let me go. That was Thursday till Saturday.
All in all even though it all looks bad for me at the moment, I feel good except for the pain thing and that is controlled with advil or dilaudid (at night), if I need it.
But right now I need to get some sleep as my brain MRI is at 8:20 in the morning and it's an hours ride at that time of the morning!
Take care Janmarie. ANd Be Blessed. I know I am.
Faith

Faith,
Been away for awhile and was very sorry about the bad news you have been getting. The last couple of weeks have been painful for me, these blasted shingles. I have a consent burning on my left side, aking it impossible to gett a good nights sleep. The Dr. gave me some meds for it and it has helped some, just has to run it course I guess. Last week had my chemo, the Dr. cut it 25% hoping I won't end up in the hosp again, so far so good. In a couple of weeks I will be having a PET scan to see just where I am. I know my higher power will take care of me. I do hope things are better for you now. You are so upbeat and caring. My love and prayers will be with you. Hugs. Mary:angel: